FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Give up for love?
Give up for love?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For all the singles out there. Would you give up swinging for love?
If you found someone (or are with someone) who made you really happy and wanted to keep you all to themselves, would you give up swinging for them?
Would you try and bring them round to the idea to join in?
Would you leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would be happy to join you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For all the singles out there. Would you give up swinging for love?
If you found someone (or are with someone) who made you really happy and wanted to keep you all to themselves, would you give up swinging for them?
Would you try and bring them round to the idea to join in?
Would you leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would be happy to join you?"
Depends on the relationship, but yes I would  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I found someone I fell in love with and wanted to share my life with, I would give up swinging in a heart beat!"
i cant figure out why you havent already with those legs wow  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why go out for hamburger when I can have steak at home?”
? Paul Newman
'Steak' for me stands for all the good things you can have in a relationship.
If you are so lucky as to find that, cherish it and work on it.
He was a lucky (and yummy) man.
My 2p
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I'm straight and only meet one-on-one, I'm here because I'm single and have an itch that needs scratching. Monogamy is not a dirty word to me, the need for attention from others is not necessary for my well being or satisfaction.
If I happen to stumble across potential husband number two the only Fab in my life would be the lolly kind in my freezer! |
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"For all the singles out there. Would you give up swinging for love?
If you found someone (or are with someone) who made you really happy and wanted to keep you all to themselves, would you give up swinging for them?
Would you try and bring them round to the idea to join in?
Would you leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would be happy to join you?"
Have tried the love thing and it dont work for me unfortunately.... but i can still dream there is a Mr right out there somewhere for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm straight and only meet one-on-one, I'm here because I'm single and have an itch that needs scratching. Monogamy is not a dirty word to me, the need for attention from others is not necessary for my well being or satisfaction.
If I happen to stumble across potential husband number two the only Fab in my life would be the lolly kind in my freezer! "
thats a yes then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are madly in love and were not swingers when we got married.
We now swing together and love each other just as much if not more! It can work and we certainly do not swing to save our marriage, which was healthy before and after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never have an issue giving up swinging, I would never be bored being monogamous and fabs is a very small fraction of my life (meet wise), love is more important to me than someone getting their leg over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. I gave up swinging for 3 years but our relationship ended 3 months ago now hence why I am back. My partner wasn't a swinger and had problems coming to terms with my past. |
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"Why go out for hamburger when I can have steak at home?”
? Paul Newman
'Steak' for me stands for all the good things you can have in a relationship.
If you are so lucky as to find that, cherish it and work on it.
He was a lucky (and yummy) man.
My 2p
"
I love steak but sometimes a hamburger fits the bill..... |
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"I would never have an issue giving up swinging, I would never be bored being monogamous and fabs is a very small fraction of my life (meet wise), love is more important to me than someone getting their leg over."
Couldn't of said it better myself |
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Yes, without question or hesitation. As it is I've kind of stoped anyway as I don't meet as a single anyway and we rarely meet as a couple.
If he was to tell me he never wanted to swing again I'd stop. My love for him is more than my love of random cock. (how romantic am i ) |
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"For all the singles out there. Would you give up swinging for love?
If you found someone (or are with someone) who made you really happy and wanted to keep you all to themselves, would you give up swinging for them?
Would you try and bring them round to the idea to join in?
Would you leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would be happy to join you?"
Interesting question. Here is a quick answer:
1. If someone wants you to themselves isn't that to treat you as a possession? After all we know that it doesn't work and eventually one of you will cheat anyway. Possessiveness isn't love, love is to want the best fun for the other person, even if that means they want to love other people as well as you.
2. As I said to someone recently who wanted me all to themselves, 'I possess myself'.
3. I see it as to have progressed in your sexual development to be able to swing, to step back to 1-2-1 is like an admission, or perhaps you weren't really ready to start swinging with full confidence and self-possession? |
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"I would never have an issue giving up swinging, I would never be bored being monogamous and fabs is a very small fraction of my life (meet wise), love is more important to me than someone getting their leg over."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For all the singles out there. Would you give up swinging for love?
If you found someone (or are with someone) who made you really happy and wanted to keep you all to themselves, would you give up swinging for them?
Would you try and bring them round to the idea to join in?
Would you leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would be happy to join you?"
Love can make people do strange/crazy things. Even things that may seem out of character for them. Whether its because you're with them, just love them or you're breaking up with them. I would do anything for love. That is easy to say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when ever someone meets someone the unexpected can and does happen. many people are happy being single then suddenly someone can come along and it all changes.
for me im happy being single but if fell in love then for me i wouldnt be shagging about.
we are all used on here for sex..and yes sex is good but then there is more to life than just sex!
when love happens it just takes over, and ur either with that person and faithful or u aint! |
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"I would never have an issue giving up swinging, I would never be bored being monogamous and fabs is a very small fraction of my life (meet wise), love is more important to me than someone getting their leg over."
^^^^^This for me too. |
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"For all the singles out there. Would you give up swinging for love?
If you found someone (or are with someone) who made you really happy and wanted to keep you all to themselves, would you give up swinging for them?
Would you try and bring them round to the idea to join in?
Would you leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would be happy to join you?
Interesting question. Here is a quick answer:
1. If someone wants you to themselves isn't that to treat you as a possession? After all we know that it doesn't work and eventually one of you will cheat anyway. Possessiveness isn't love, love is to want the best fun for the other person, even if that means they want to love other people as well as you.
2. As I said to someone recently who wanted me all to themselves, 'I possess myself'.
3. I see it as to have progressed in your sexual development to be able to swing, to step back to 1-2-1 is like an admission, or perhaps you weren't really ready to start swinging with full confidence and self-possession?"
I think it depends on the type of person you are. For some of us monogamy is not a dirty word. We're capable of being happy and fulfilled without the need of inviting others into our relationships or need the "thrill" of new partners.
It has absolutely nothing to do with being possessive. You don't own anyone: indentured slavery is a thing of the past! Ergo, if I loved someone and my love wasn't enough he'd be free to love as many people as he liked: I just wouldn't be one of them.
As a single, straight woman I've never seen myself as a swinger. I meet one-on-one to have recreational sex with "strangers". I struggle to see the correlation between excluding strangers from a monogamous relationship and lacking confidence.
However, whilst I could happily live out my days in a monogamous relationship I wouldn't entertain a partner not into my fetishes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why is the question only for singles? lol.
we are in love and we swing.
if either of us decided we no longer wanted it, or we got bored, we would give it up in a heartbeat, for love.
anything we do on here doesnt come close to what we do together, its just different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm straight and only meet one-on-one, I'm here because I'm single and have an itch that needs scratching. Monogamy is not a dirty word to me, the need for attention from others is not necessary for my well being or satisfaction.
If I happen to stumble across potential husband number two the only Fab in my life would be the lolly kind in my freezer! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why is the question only for singles? lol.
we are in love and we swing.
if either of us decided we no longer wanted it, or we got bored, we would give it up in a heartbeat, for love.
anything we do on here doesnt come close to what we do together, its just different."
|
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I know this was aimed at singles, but as others have said i think there are a lot of couples who do this, and can only do this, because they love someone.
We're a lot more active in the scene when everything's good in life, but tend to withdraw when you have loads of stuff to deal with and general
Life going crap.
It's also interesting how people say about how they would miss it and could they live without it? For me, (Dave) the whole "turn on" for me is seeing Kate be completely sexually liberated and for us to have experiences you just can't have on your own.
Bearing that in mind, if I was single, I think I'd have little interest in swinging as a single, I'd probably try, but can't ever see it having the attraction it does now. If, then I was to meet someone, it's not that I'd "need" swinging but I would want to be in a relationship where all the elements of a "swinging" couple are there, ie love, trust and sexually adventurous etc etc, So, having all those things would probably mean we'd end up swinging!
In summary, I suppose, what I'm saying is, if I was single and found "true love" to me that would probably,now, entail swinging - so no giving up anything! Loves isn't about placing restrictions on your partner, it's about enhancing each others lives.
D |
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Not all of us need a multiple of others to enhance our lives. I wouldn't be so arrogant to assume just because I play a certain way there's something missing in others if they don't play the same as me. |
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By * and HCouple
over a year ago
PONTEFRACT |
N was a single before he met me down the local... Told me about his swinging antics but also posted on here that he wasn't playing for the foreseeable future we are on here now due to my curious nature n has never pushed me into trying it and although we're still only paddling we're getting there... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't swing per se so what is to give up? I use this site like a dating site with the added pleasure of being free to display my natural kinkiness. It also allows me the liberty of having sex on a first date, time and time again without the hang-ups  .
Having said that I don't particularly want copious amount of notches on my bedpost, it's simply a means to an end (often merely sating my high libido).
If and when I get into that long-term relationship I will be happy to swing but just as happy not to. The best sex I ever had was in a loving AND lusting relationship .
Like Miss_Tress the only thing I couldn't give up are my kinks... most of that is satisfied through role play and my number one fetish, being spanked. |
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"If I found someone I fell in love with and wanted to share my life with, I would give up swinging in a heart beat!i cant figure out why you havent already with those legs wow "
Awwww thank you. I often ask myself the same question - about falling in love that is, not about the legs! lol |
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"For all the singles out there. Would you give up swinging for love?
If you found someone (or are with someone) who made you really happy and wanted to keep you all to themselves, would you give up swinging for them?
Would you try and bring them round to the idea to join in?
Would you leave the relationship in the hopes of finding someone who would be happy to join you?
Interesting question. Here is a quick answer:
1. If someone wants you to themselves isn't that to treat you as a possession? After all we know that it doesn't work and eventually one of you will cheat anyway. Possessiveness isn't love, love is to want the best fun for the other person, even if that means they want to love other people as well as you.
2. As I said to someone recently who wanted me all to themselves, 'I possess myself'.
3. I see it as to have progressed in your sexual development to be able to swing, to step back to 1-2-1 is like an admission, or perhaps you weren't really ready to start swinging with full confidence and self-possession?"
I wouldn't see it as being possessive or having a possession. I would want to be with that person solely because he would be the one I wanted to invest my time, energy and love, to. So many things to do together too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow really impressed with all your opinions on this!
Personally I think I would give up swinging if my partner said he didn't want to anymore, although we got into this mainly for me to embrace my bisexuality and play with women, so maybe from time to time he'd let me play with a woman still.
It's hard to let suppress that kink. However he can be more than enough cock for me :P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It's hard to let suppress that kink. However he can be more than enough cock for me :P"
See for me I doubt any couples are on here because their partner is not enough but it is more the dynamics it adds... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was in a relationship I remained on fab for a short time but blocked everyone from messaging and hid my profile etc so I could still use the site for just chatting to friends and the forums as the social side of swinging as always been more important than the sexual side. So I just gave up the meeting part and remained monogamous unfortunately that relationship is over now so I'm back to having some fun again as and when I can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hard to know where the line is as a single, Though I was not on Fab, or really knew anything about the swinging world I spent 10 years of serial monogamy several times in that 10 years I would pick up a different woman on Friday and Saturday so the monogamy was pretty short term  others may last the weekend or even a few weeks, but didn't class that as swinging. Have to say I was a bit of an emotional train wreck most of that time, so the thought of using others possibly causing hurt to them didn't really cross my mind.
Then I met J. started as a casual thing, but quickly spiralled out of control and in a very short time she moved in, shortly after that we got married, wasn't long after that we started swinging (about 1 year) IF either of us decided we didn't want to do it any more we would just stop, we only do it for fun anyway. |
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We discussed this the other night, over our Horlicks: if you meet and find love with someone who, presumably you may have been seeing whilst duplexing with swinging, have you been honest with them? If you were and told them, how would that affect how they felt about you? If you find love, as we did in the lifestyle, then, we think that you never "give it up", it is part of your life. The problem occurs, with relationships that one party sees it as being more than sex, that however is a whole different thread! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should do whatever your heart and mind tells you is right in any given situation. When love comes knocking and your loved one does not want you to swing then don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You should do whatever your heart and mind tells you is right in any given situation. When love comes knocking and your loved one does not want you to swing then don't. "
But who is right.. if they loved me shouldn't they accept me for who I am. See for me I think I couldn't fall for someone that didn't accept me for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it before, so yes, would be easy to do.
I won't be in that situation for many years to come however so will cross that bridge again then."
An odd statement, that. You can steel yourself, not want it, not seek it, but as long as you deal with people, either through work of in your social life, you will encounter new ones, and no-one is immune to chemistry. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Done it before, so yes, would be easy to do.
I won't be in that situation for many years to come however so will cross that bridge again then.
An odd statement, that. You can steel yourself, not want it, not seek it, but as long as you deal with people, either through work of in your social life, you will encounter new ones, and no-one is immune to chemistry. "
You can actively discourage it too. For all I know I have several men eating their hearts out for me (yeah, right), but I have no intention of ever getting into another committed relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Done it before, so yes, would be easy to do.
I won't be in that situation for many years to come however so will cross that bridge again then.
An odd statement, that. You can steel yourself, not want it, not seek it, but as long as you deal with people, either through work of in your social life, you will encounter new ones, and no-one is immune to chemistry. "
Even if I found someone I couldn't act on it... So even when I sense chemistry I wouldn't act on it. Relationships are not something that work for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd never give up swinging. Its an incredible lifestyle that gives me so much, and builds terrific relationships with everyone I've been involved with ... singles, couples and groups. Perhaps I've been lucky, and I hope that it stays that way.  |
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"You should do whatever your heart and mind tells you is right in any given situation. When love comes knocking and your loved one does not want you to swing then don't.
But who is right.. if they loved me shouldn't they accept me for who I am. See for me I think I couldn't fall for someone that didn't accept me for me "
i don't think people should try to change each oter or force them to do things they dont want to.
i thought i would not be able to stop but actually it was a very subconscious thing. we never had 'the chat' about it, i just felt no inclination to meet people once i realised i had fallen for him.
i dont think you can ever say never unless you consciously go round forcing yourself not to fall for someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You should do whatever your heart and mind tells you is right in any given situation. When love comes knocking and your loved one does not want you to swing then don't.
But who is right.. if they loved me shouldn't they accept me for who I am. See for me I think I couldn't fall for someone that didn't accept me for me
i don't think people should try to change each oter or force them to do things they dont want to.
i thought i would not be able to stop but actually it was a very subconscious thing. we never had 'the chat' about it, i just felt no inclination to meet people once i realised i had fallen for him.
i dont think you can ever say never unless you consciously go round forcing yourself not to fall for someone."
Aww how sweet.
I can say we never had the chat, and I think we both made a subconscious decision that we had no desire to meet others alone,.
We enjoy the social side and don't play too much at the moment. But I would never say never for the future. I'm sure we would have achat about it bbeforehand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I found someone I fell in love with and wanted to share my life with, I would give up swinging in a heart beat!"
Completely agree! this is a stop gap for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We kind of did..
met my guy.. he slipped in convo he was on here onnour first date.... i looked at it with him n tbought helll yeahhh i want a bit of that!!
I msgd him next day and said cheers for showing me that ive now got a profile and loving it already.
we had a few more dates and started getting tetchy..monitoring each others profiles for veris..
i got jealous reading a few.. so we decided to give up fab and be together.
after 4 mths we werr like whyyy arent we on there together)
Had a profile and lots of fun . Came off for a break but back again
if i or him werent up for joining together wed have deffo given it up..
no chance now tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am in love with my hubby and have been for 39 years, cannot ever see that changing. I meet other guys because hubby cannot satisfy me sexually, he understands that and encourages me to see other guys for sex, however, if he asked me to stop I would without hesitation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You should do whatever your heart and mind tells you is right in any given situation. When love comes knocking and your loved one does not want you to swing then don't.
But who is right.. if they loved me shouldn't they accept me for who I am. See for me I think I couldn't fall for someone that didn't accept me for me
i don't think people should try to change each oter or force them to do things they dont want to.
i thought i would not be able to stop but actually it was a very subconscious thing. we never had 'the chat' about it, i just felt no inclination to meet people once i realised i had fallen for him.
i dont think you can ever say never unless you consciously go round forcing yourself not to fall for someone."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a small part of my life and could easily give it all up . sex is sex and yes love meeting new people but being happy and feeling fulfilled is the best feeling ever and my family give me that and would if I had to give it up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't want to swing as a couple so it would be more likely to be me asking them to give up swinging, if I meet someone who had nothing to do with this side of my life I would stop and never even mention sites like this or swinging clubs to them
I would be more than happy with one person I loved, if I had regular sex at home I wouldn't need this site, I use it because i'm site with a sex drive |
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For me (Ruby) I could give it up if I wanted to, it doesn't define me.
However, I'm lucky enough to be with someone who wants to have other naughty times as well as our sex life and we both equally get a kick out of it and it enhances our relationship.
Each to their own and whatever makes you happy x |
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Maybe one day. 