Looking for some advice and someone prepared to have a private chat with regarding introducing my wife who has never played and I’m not sure after a interesting weekend how to see if she’s interested or not without making her feel awkward or pressured as I would always respect her decision and choice
Not looking to be judged as to what I do or don’t do just someone who is prepared to listen and give their honest opinion of how to deal with this or been in a similar situation
thank you in advance |
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It's got to be about communication. It's likely to be most reasonable when she doesn't feel pressure at all. And even if she shows interest, not to be pressured to commit to extension to your regular sex, then I'd pursue what sexual interests and ways for her to be more turned on and or satisfied. Some give and take would be reasonable, so you both progressively share, rather than it seeming like the Spanish inquisition grilling her.
If people are to open up their souls, they will need to feel safe and secure, so bear that in mind. Also beware of obviously setting her up for something, as she'd potentially notice unusual behaviour from you, then guessing that you are up to something. It's OK to have a goal and follow your instincts naturally and could appear less suspicious. If she gets suspicious, she probably would become more closed.
If your relationship is good. It goes without saying that you will be letting her know at every opportunity just how much she means to you. Do you deserve her trust? Ensure that you do deserve it and only pursue things when you do and she will instinctively know how much she can do that and be willing to be open.
Don't drop what she may perceive as huge bombs on her. Be respectful of her differenced and her position. If you get the vibe to back off or that she is not interested, don't conceal a goal to overcome her objections or lack of interest
As it's a major ext |
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Be prepared for more than one open, honest and emotional chat.
Open up to her if you want her to open up to you. Don't concentrate solely on what you want, be open to the possibility of compromise and consider that a combination of things she suggests and you suggest could turn out to be better than what you want now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've asked the same 30 weeks ago and 10 weeks ago (green arrow) and to all intents and purposes received similar advice. Perhaps it's just a fantasy for you or perhaps, call me harsh and cynical, you were hoping for more answers in your inbox than on the thread  |
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I hear what you’re saying and you’re talking to your opinion however this is not something I will rush and I’ve got you found some really nice people today who I’m speaking to thank you for your reply and at least you took the time to have a look |
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Talk about fantasies and if you are lucky it will simply progress.
I'm assuming that she is already aware that you are on here and meeting others, so that is a great start.
If she doesn't, I would be concerned that your relationship is not strong enough for swinging.
Compete honestly and communication is key in any relationship, but more so for swingers. |
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