FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Hi am I trying too hard ? Advice
Hi am I trying too hard ? Advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi I posted something similar the other day but did not get much feedback
Any advice to a newbie on this site I am friendly and polite and send a good first message normally to grab someone’s attention mentioning something on there profile, ( not hi how’s u crap lol)
Yet I don’t seem to get messages back I have spoke to a few nice people but no meets.
Any profile or general advice ? Thanks |
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You could take the slightly cynical view that it's a numbers game. There are 10+ times more men on here, so the chances of a mail standing out are slim, and then you need to be exactly what they are looking for, before you might get on well with someone.
I try and not get too bothered about whether someone replies or not, it's all karma |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing wrong with your profile, nice ink by the way. I’d suggest trying a club or organised social events, check out the forums. It can be daunting going to a club at first but it’s just like going to the pub. Have a drink, chat and meet like minded people.
Good luck
Inked x |
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Well to be honest getting a reply is a full time job and a meet... Well I should book a couple of weeks off work to attempt that as it will take that long.
YOU see on here only the best looking guys will get the girls... in the real world plain or average girls are looking for similar, but here they can expect perfection and be picky.
They get 100s of mails and can pick and choose.
Keep trying |
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I have been on here for almost a year, I agree it’s previous two comments. There are a lot of men on here. I have found the best way is definitely get out to socials and clubs, treat people the way you would expect to be treated, make friends and build up your verifications , a lot of fabbers seem to have no time for people who have no verifications, don’t bombard people with images of your private parts, it’s nice to leave something to the imagination if they wish to view they will ask. Good luck on here and happy fabbing |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OP. In addition to the previous answers, you also need to realise, you've only been on here by a few weeks.
It can take a lot of time to get replies. You are competing against so many other guys, all seeking the same!
You really have to "SELL YOURSELF" to get noticed! It's about getting your name out there.
Thus, the advice to attend Clubs or Socials is excellent. That's how I got myself known.
It does work eventually but you need Patience and Perseverance.
Good Luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be disheartening OP....as others say the guy to girl ratio is quite high.
I find the three P's (No, not those you mucky minded lot!!) Perseverance, Patience and Politeness goes a long way.
Have no expectations and when you least expect it your time will come |
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Create a profile that stands out, we are all unique, find your selling point that is different..
A generic profile is 2 a penny and therefore often dismissed..
The best of luck to you.
believe in yourself and have patience.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s just the way it is.
If she/they don’t fancy you, they aren’t likely to reply regardless of how good your message is!
Keep at it and I’m sure you’ll find someone soon  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I posted something similar the other day but did not get much feedback
Any advice to a newbie on this site I am friendly and polite and send a good first message normally to grab someone’s attention mentioning something on there profile, ( not hi how’s u crap lol)
Yet I don’t seem to get messages back I have spoke to a few nice people but no meets.
Any profile or general advice ? Thanks "
Your profile is fine hun and you have some really nice pics, great ink btw. Just be patient im sure someone will come along. I would love to meet you if I was closer x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love the pic lexi. Looks you’ve blocked me though  Shame woulda loved checking your profile out maybe chatting too "
We chatted, I blocked you because you wouldn’t do your tasks when you were begging to be my sub, if your blocked it means I don’t wish to speak to you, this is the second time you’ve contacted me through the forums! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing is unless someone has a meet posted or similar the chances are they are not looking.
I get numerous mail a day. I'm sure it get on and fancy a lot of them but I'm not looking so I don't even read most.
It's not what they are doing. A lot of people have lives and this comes down the list of things to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is unless someone has a meet posted or similar the chances are they are not looking.
I get numerous mail a day. I'm sure it get on and fancy a lot of them but I'm not looking so I don't even read most.
It's not what they are doing. A lot of people have lives and this comes down the list of things to do "
That’s so true ..I get up with hubby at 445 every morning ...and we get people messagungbsaying “meet now” ...life, sadly, take precedence over fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You would do better on dating sites? I have no problem getting dates compared with getting meets on here. I've been on and off here a few years now and really can't be bothered anymore it's got that bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You would do better on dating sites? I have no problem getting dates compared with getting meets on here. I've been on and off here a few years now and really can't be bothered anymore it's got that bad"
So when will you be deleting your profile?
Plenty of people do well on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You would do better on dating sites? I have no problem getting dates compared with getting meets on here. I've been on and off here a few years now and really can't be bothered anymore it's got that bad
So when will you be deleting your profile?
Plenty of people do well on here. "
Boom!  |
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Well a previous reply was correct around the 1 to 10 ratio. Factor in that perhaps only ten percent are actually seeking,genuine and verified and the odds are long.
Don't waste your time mailing profiles with little text ... or fill in later types. You will get a feel for the genuine and then enter the lottery of getting a fluid reply.
If you continue to get one word answers after a couple of messages move on and seek at least someone interested in a substantial conversation.
Eventually you will get a reply but not guaranteed for this year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just keep plodding along but don't put all your hopes on these sites, best to keep on looking at more other ways to date or swing.
It is all down to the ratio im afraid just keep being genuine and a gentleman and things will happen but it takes time. |
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Ok erm spell check your profile, there's a few mistakes and some people can get so anal about it, personally I don't care if Tom Hardy knows the difference between their, there and they're but obviously alot of people do. The pics are spot on, some people may be put off by tattoos but you can't change that. Biggest tip is read profiles and concentrate mostly on people that you actually fit what they are looking for. Messaging someone who lives 4 hrs away would seem a big waste of time. I do wish you luck, you have obviously put a bit of effort in x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all and thanks for all the feedback I take it all on board, as for club meets I would be very shy if I showed up to a club by myself but may look into it and have a go.
Cheers
Rob |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love the pic lexi. Looks you’ve blocked me though Shame woulda loved checking your profile out maybe chatting too "
And therefore you shouldn't be using the forums to get round the block |
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"Ok erm spell check your profile, there's a few mistakes and some people can get so anal about it, personally I don't care if Tom Hardy knows the difference between their, there and they're but obviously alot of people do. The pics are spot on, some people may be put off by tattoos but you can't change that. Biggest tip is read profiles and concentrate mostly on people that you actually fit what they are looking for. Messaging someone who lives 4 hrs away would seem a big waste of time. I do wish you luck, you have obviously put a bit of effort in x
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I’m with Pablo on the spellings and grammatical errors mate; they CAN make a difference to who you appeal to. I would also condense your profile text down to only a few main facts about yourself, most people only skim read profiles, and many won’t even bother if it looks like ‘War and Peace’. Your photos will pique interest (as this thread has already shown) 
Use your block button! Cut the wheat from the chaff; when doing your local searches (ie; the people you’re most likely to meet), block any profile either you don’t match, or they don’t match wheat you’re looking for. Whittle them down to a handful of potential meets, then message with an eye only on them, rather than one of 10 you’re messaging today, They can tell 
Don’t visit a club by yourself, it’s a tough gig being a single male in those places, certainly not for the faint hearted! Keep an eye out for the socials in the North East, they’re a lot easier and friendlier to attend as a single guy.
Good luck fella!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I posted something similar the other day but did not get much feedback
Any advice to a newbie on this site I am friendly and polite and send a good first message normally to grab someone’s attention mentioning something on there profile, ( not hi how’s u crap lol)
Yet I don’t seem to get messages back I have spoke to a few nice people but no meets.
Any profile or general advice ? Thanks "
You have been here three weeks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi OP
Your profile looks good to be honest, a lot better than mine. Hope it’s okay with everyone on here as it saves a new thread but could anyone recommend some advice for my profile as well? Thanks in advance |
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"Hi OP
Your profile looks good to be honest, a lot better than mine. Hope it’s okay with everyone on here as it saves a new thread but could anyone recommend some advice for my profile as well? Thanks in advance"
It's considered rude to hijack other peoples threads, start your own, really doesn't take much effort x |
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