FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Can't accommodate
Can't accommodate
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By *udematt OP Man
over a year ago
Woodhall Spa |
What are people's thoughts on adding why I can't accommodate to my profile?
I gather that it makes it look like I have a gf/wife and I'm playing away without permission, but I am not and have a good reason why I can't.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't have to go into details. I've had people assume I'm married because I don't accommodate. I just tell them I'm not but I live with other adults. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do what you want. Why do you want approval?
I don't want approval I wanted people's opinion whether it's a good idea or would it put more people off than it's worth! "
Do you live with your mum?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah yes this is a valid point.. I live in a shared house with some work colleagues and a one of the guys is a teammate of a local sports club... so that's why I'm not able to accommodate but I'm sure it puts others off too |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
It wouldn't hurt...I never really think about it, the person could be in a house share, single dad, caring for parents...or this is a shocker, doesn't want me as a virtual stranger knowing where he lives. Funny that. If people are narrowminded enough to assume martiage without asking, then it might put their minds at rest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swings and roundabouts.
Your married and cheating equals liar.
Living with colleagues? Liar, your married and cheating.
If someone get it in their head your a liar, married and cheating, no amount of explaining will convince them otherwise, so it's not worth trying. If someone is genuinely interested, then tell them privately, rather than draw attention to it publicly. |
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"Cheers everyone for the great advice!
No I don't live with my mum, with work colleagues  "
You won't get good advice here pal, you will get people making themselves feel better than you by making assumptions and subsequent sarcastic comments.
Single men are perverts, time wasters or cheaters, possibly all three.
Best just be open and honest and the massive majority of decent people who don't read or use the forums as a method of making their little lives feel better will appreciate honesty and you will get on fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheers everyone for the great advice!
No I don't live with my mum, with work colleagues "
Just say that you live in shared accommodation .. takes the mystery out of it and stops people assuming otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheers everyone for the great advice!
No I don't live with my mum, with work colleagues "
Why would that be a problem writing on your profile? Or put anyone off? |
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By *udematt OP Man
over a year ago
Woodhall Spa |
"
You won't get good advice here pal, you will get people making themselves feel better than you by making assumptions and subsequent sarcastic comments.
Single men are perverts, time wasters or cheaters, possibly all three.
Best just be open and honest and the massive majority of decent people who don't read or use the forums as a method of making their little lives feel better will appreciate honesty and you will get on fine."
That is a good point, but I hoped that I would get the good helpful people as well, then I could just sift through the bad ones.
In fact I feel that I have had a better response than I expected but I am fairly thick skinned! |
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By *udematt OP Man
over a year ago
Woodhall Spa |
"Cheers everyone for the great advice!
No I don't live with my mum, with work colleagues
Why would that be a problem writing on your profile? Or put anyone off? "
I didn't know if it would look like I was trying to hard to cover for not accommodating, I was probably over thinking it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swings and roundabouts.
Your married and cheating equals liar.
Living with colleagues? Liar, your married and cheating.
If someone get it in their head your a liar, married and cheating, no amount of explaining will convince them otherwise, so it's not worth trying. If someone is genuinely interested, then tell them privately, rather than draw attention to it publicly."
I wasn't suggesting the OP is lying, or married and cheating, just that if someone has got it into their head that because he cannot accommodate he must be married and cheating, then no amount of counter argument will change that because they have already dismissed you as a liar.
This isn't a reflection on the OP but on anyone that jumps to conclusions about him based on his ability to accommodate. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"What are people's thoughts on adding why I can't accommodate to my profile?
I gather that it makes it look like I have a gf/wife and I'm playing away without permission, but I am not and have a good reason why I can't. "
Probably a good idea as some women do not meet guys who cannot accommodate because they think it is because he is married or in a relationship and is cheating |
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i cant accommodate... people can read into that however they want it's totally up to them... i still get meets so I'm not concerned... and to be hounest if you put can accommodate on your profile it's like a green light to timewasters.. |
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People do make assumptions as to why you can't accommodate, especially if you are a single male. It definitely won't harm your prospects to put something on your profile and may actually help you. All you need is something along these lines "I can't accom due to living in a shared house, however I am happy to meet at yours of share the cost of a hotel".
I can't accommodate either and have put it on my profile the reason why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are people in shared houses bound to celibacy? I've lived in them and people tend to bring people back for sex. Often. I'd think twice if I was renting directly from a resident owner though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I live with my mates whom I've known years and have no idea I'm on this site. This is the reason why I don't accom - let them think whatever they want to think. If they're that judgemental then they're probably not worth meeting, dude. Some women think because they own the pussy, they rule this site. Look out for the genuine down to earth women - these are the types you want to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But if you meet a woman from fabswingers and take her to shared house for sex, surely the other residents won't be in your room and I'd guess she is unlikely to tell them she hooked up with you on a swinging site. Not in a world where people in long term relationships generally go all nervous and coy explaining they met online. |
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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago
north kensington w10 |
"What are people's thoughts on adding why I can't accommodate to my profile?
I gather that it makes it look like I have a gf/wife and I'm playing away without permission, but I am not and have a good reason why I can't. "
That's what thay all say lol..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy couldn't accommodate we'd be likely to politely ask why in a private message.
We wouldn't expect someone to go into a lot of private detail in their profile. |
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What people choose to believe is their own preference, if they wish assume the worst case scenario that's up to them.
Remember though, most on here are wise in the ways of the world and can sniff out a liar before they are half way down your profile. They have heard it all before, it's hard not to write a string of cliches be them genuine or not, the few bad ones have made it hard for the genuine people on here.
Be honest with whomever you speak to on here, you may not be for them but at least you will know within yourself that you will not need to be anything or anyone you aren't.
Unless you are in a pre discussed role play scenario  |
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By *D835Man
over a year ago
London |
"I live with my mates whom I've known years and have no idea I'm on this site. This is the reason why I don't accom - let them think whatever they want to think. If they're that judgemental then they're probably not worth meeting, dude. Some women think because they own the pussy, they rule this site. Look out for the genuine down to earth women - these are the types you want to meet. "
Nice one!!  |
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"I live with my mates whom I've known years and have no idea I'm on this site. This is the reason why I don't accom - let them think whatever they want to think. If they're that judgemental then they're probably not worth meeting, dude. Some women think because they own the pussy, they rule this site. Look out for the genuine down to earth women - these are the types you want to meet.
Nice one!! "
I certainly don't think that. .. I'm after something specific and if "single " guys can't accommodate I ask because the answer and subsequent conversation can be part of my decision.
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By *ustMe06Woman
over a year ago
...the naughty spot. |
Of course, I can only speak from personal experience. I completely understand that some people have legitimate reasons for being unable to accommodate, but there's not really any way to differentiate between those people and those being dishonest...
Therefore I avoid all who do not accommodate. I suspect I miss out on meeting some lovely people but to me that's the lesser of two evils.
Some others will meet if your reasons ring true to them so don't sweat it. Run your profile as you see fit...You'll never please everyone anyway.
Good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are people's thoughts on adding why I can't accommodate to my profile?
I gather that it makes it look like I have a gf/wife and I'm playing away without permission, but I am not and have a good reason why I can't. "
I wouldn't ever assume someone was cheating because they can't accommodate, but I do ask if they are cheating whether they've stated they can accom or not. I personally don't accommodate either and I'm very single, but I don't feel the need to put why on my profile, so wouldn't expect others to either. Different strokes for different folks. The aim is to meet likeminded people, so if someone gives you grief then they're not worth the bother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's up to you if you put that info out there, some will like it others won't and there are those that still won't believe what you've put so we can't please everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheers everyone for the great advice!
No I don't live with my mum, with work colleagues "
We dont accommodate unless we get a hotel.. people make assumptions... its simply down to nosey people including teenagers.... but people still have to actually believe what your saying..
But I think as a single guy it may help.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldn't hurt...I never really think about it, the person could be in a house share, single dad, caring for parents...or this is a shocker, doesn't want me as a virtual stranger knowing where he lives. Funny that. If people are narrowminded enough to assume martiage without asking, then it might put their minds at rest."
All valid reasons, I have been asked loads of times why I can't accommodate. ..my answer ...my eldest daughter lives with me rather than pay for student (uni) accommodation. Don't think she would appreciate her old man banging strangers in the next bedroom ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all honesty why would you want to invite someone round you've only spoken to on the net or met for a social?
Your allowing that person to be in your actual personal life when you allow them to your home.
Imo better off with hotel meets until you trust them enough. Already read a few posts about how people have turned on here towards men and women. |
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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago
gillingham |
I won't accommodate even though I could. Issue being single and accommodating is down to safety issues. As lovely as a person may seem online they may be a absolute fruitcake in real life and I've heard terrible stories from a friend of mine who has entertained guys at her place with men just turning up unannounced and one stalked her so badly she involved the police.  |
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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago
gillingham |
"In all honesty why would you want to invite someone round you've only spoken to on the net or met for a social?
Your allowing that person to be in your actual personal life when you allow them to your home.
Imo better off with hotel meets until you trust them enough. Already read a few posts about how people have turned on here towards men and women. "
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If you can't accommodate for whatever reason you're going to struggle on here. Before my children I would always accommodate and was never short of meets. Now I'll only accommodate for someone I've built a FWB arrangement with when the kids are out (isn't very often) because I don't want a bunch of random one offs in the home I share with them, because let's face it sometimes a one off is all they're gonna be because you don't have the right chemistry to want to meet again. Plus it's easier for me to get a sitter in while I go out but hardly anyone seemingly men especially don't accommodate so I mainly just go to clubs Now it's easier |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I won't accommodate even though I could. Issue being single and accommodating is down to safety issues. As lovely as a person may seem online they may be a absolute fruitcake in real life and I've heard terrible stories from a friend of mine who has entertained guys at her place with men just turning up unannounced and one stalked her so badly she involved the police. "
Oh my god |
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Not being able to accom on its own doesn't mean cheating ,but when its a single man on here people tend to assume you are.
If you want to,pop a little line in saying you live with other people.If not explain it to any potential meets if they ask.
Miss |
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