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Tempted to try a couple...
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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
I've played with couples before, mainly in clubs, but also twice with people I've met through the internet ( not this site)
I've not done it on here as although I've been messaged by couples, I've got no way of knowing whether I'll be attracted to them or whether we'll get on and when I met couples before, I felt pressurised by them to play and I don't want to be in that situation again.
However... having been on the forums for a while ( only recently discovered them!), there are a lot of lovely people here which has made me interested in trying a couple again.
I am bi but only if I'm physically attracted to the woman and there is a connection, which for me takes time to develop. I also don't want to be just a sex toy to enhance their relationship, which I have felt it was before. Made me feel a bit used and more acutely aware of my single status.
I do genuinely enjoy playing with women, have played with 15 women and it's been lovely, there's just something about the couples dynamic and meeting strangers off the internet that I find off putting.
Not really sure what I want from this thread, just putting it out there in the hope of some words of wisdom from both single women and couples... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I regularly play with a lovely couple. It was a slow burning 'relationship' though. We've had 5 meets so far and only had full sex on the last two. We all get on well and I play with both partners. I've never felt like the spare wheel as both of their attention has been focused on me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I regularly play with a lovely couple. It was a slow burning 'relationship' though. We've had 5 meets so far and only had full sex on the last two. We all get on well and I play with both partners. I've never felt like the spare wheel as both of their attention has been focused on me. "
your so perfect??
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No, I read it and had a think ... not much wisdom to add except I have never had the urge to meet a couple on my single profile. I have a couple profile with my partner and still don't have the urge to meet a couple with him either ... I play on my own with women or we play separately at clubs. I am not onto the couple dynamic |
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"Not looking for opinions from single guys thanks. "
Except that even as a single guy he is allowed to post on whichever threatd he chooses, and he may have had some valid input about playing with couples as a single person.
Like Pepper, I'm not sure how much we could add, it almost seems you're asking for couples to 'sell themselves to you'. If you're not 100% sure you are ready to swing with couples, then I'd advise you wait until you are.
I do worry about the 'sex toy' comment that regularly crops up, but we have so little experience of swinging that I don't feel able to form a valid opinion about it yet.
Mr ddc |
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No idea what to add really but having read your profile it's not obvious that you're looking for a couple so we would probably not send a message. There's nothing in your profile that states what you're looking for from a 3 sum so again, that would stop us messaging you. I'm not sure that was helpful at all! Hope you have fun whatever you decide to do |
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"Never no wether to post incase opinions aint intresting to others "
I am always interested in people's opinions, single guys or not. I have to remember that my partner was a single guy before I met him and still has his single profile on here. We get messages on our couple profile from people who ignore him on his single one ... yet he is till the same person. Of course people are interested ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never no wether to post incase opinions aint intresting to others
I am always interested in people's opinions, single guys or not. I have to remember that my partner was a single guy before I met him and still has his single profile on here. We get messages on our couple profile from people who ignore him on his single one ... yet he is till the same person. Of course people are interested ..."
your clearly better peopke than some. Thankyou. Will hipe to have a chat sometime?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile doesn't show that you're wanting to meet M/F couples but does say M/M couple ... Could have something to do with m/f couples not contacting you ? |
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By *rs DCouple
over a year ago
far |
"I regularly play with a lovely couple. It was a slow burning 'relationship' though. We've had 5 meets so far and only had full sex on the last two. We all get on well and I play with both partners. I've never felt like the spare wheel as both of their attention has been focused on me. your so perfect??"
great pics also
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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
I used to have my profile more open to couples but because of previous tricky experiences I changed it. Just can't tell from a profile if I would want to meet a couple and don't want to feel pressurised to play... |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I am bi, meet couples and love playing with both.
However, I am a big girl and if someone tries to pressure me to do something I don't want - be they single male or female, or a couple, the I leave.
I find chatting to couples on here gives me a really good chance to feel if we click, and then arrange to meet socially to see if there is chemistry.
The majority of couples are really respectful.
Also having been a couple and inviting a single lady to play, its nice to remember how scary that can feel.
I'm not sure if this was your look at me thread, expecting couples to fall over themselves begging for a chance... but the good ones won't do that as they know they shine! |
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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
Ha no definitely not a ' look at me' thread, have just been reading posts from couples and thinking I might re think my approach as some of them sounded like nice people!
My big fear is being pressurised into doing something I don't really want to do and how to build a relationship with a couple that works for everyone, that's what I'm struggling with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am bi, meet couples and love playing with both.
However, I am a big girl and if someone tries to pressure me to do something I don't want - be they single male or female, or a couple, the I leave.
I find chatting to couples on here gives me a really good chance to feel if we click, and then arrange to meet socially to see if there is chemistry.
The majority of couples are really respectful.
Also having been a couple and inviting a single lady to play, its nice to remember how scary that can feel.
I'm not sure if this was your look at me thread, expecting couples to fall over themselves begging for a chance... but the good ones won't do that as they know they shine!"
what a great person to talk to. Great advice x |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"My big fear is being pressurised into doing something I don't really want to do and how to build a relationship with a couple that works for everyone, that's what I'm struggling with. "
Are you normally pressurised into things you don't want to do? I have never been pressurised into anything. I've been asked about things I won't do - a simple no, has sufficed. If anyone asks again, then I draw the conversation to a close.
As for building a relationship, what are you looking for? Are you looking to join a poly couple as a third, or are you looking for a couple to swing with? What do you want to see out of it, and then start that as your basis for negotiation.
It currently sounds like you are really unsure, and expecting a couple to sell it to you, without knowing what you want. Its a bit like going into a take-away and saying to the fella behind the counter "I'm here, I'm hungry, what do I want?" It would be amazing luck if you actually get what you want leaving it in someone elses hands... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I regularly play with a lovely couple. It was a slow burning 'relationship' though. We've had 5 meets so far and only had full sex on the last two. We all get on well and I play with both partners. I've never felt like the spare wheel as both of their attention has been focused on me. your so perfect?? great pics also "
Awww thanks  |
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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
Good question as to what do I want? I've enjoyed playing with couples ( ie women ) in clubs or after clubs. I find women very beautiful and playing with a woman is very sensual and erotic. However, unlike playing with guys in clubs, I need to feel a stronger physical attraction with a woman as the sex is more intimate and intense than with a guy ( for me).
As I said before, when I met couples from the internet, I felt a pressure to play that I wasn't really 100% sure about ( guess that's my issue), so would need to meet a couple initially in a social environment to see if there was a connection, both physically and mentally... |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Good question as to what do I want? I've enjoyed playing with couples ( ie women ) in clubs or after clubs. I find women very beautiful and playing with a woman is very sensual and erotic. However, unlike playing with guys in clubs, I need to feel a stronger physical attraction with a woman as the sex is more intimate and intense than with a guy ( for me).
As I said before, when I met couples from the internet, I felt a pressure to play that I wasn't really 100% sure about ( guess that's my issue), so would need to meet a couple initially in a social environment to see if there was a connection, both physically and mentally..."
I am very clear that all of my first meets are social, and that there are no guarantees of anything further. I have never felt pressured to play - and if I was in that situation, I would leave. If you don't think you can do that, then maybe it is not for you? But then I would leave whether it was another woman, a single guy or a couple... |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"Yes your profile is very clear and assertive, that's good, I'm a bit too much ' go with the flow' , especially if I've had a few nerve calming drinks..! "
Well have a think and decide what you really want out of it.
I cannot "go with the flow" if it is something I do not feel comfortable with, and never meet and drink. I always like the ability to get up, go to my car and leave, but that's one of my control issues for meeting. |
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But I suspect any pressure is likely to becoming from yourself. When we first started we worried about what would happen if we got cold feet, or only wanted soft-play, but every couple and single we have met have been really great. (Obviously we skipped those profiles that said "We only do full swap, so if you're a time-waster then sod off")
I would have thought most other couples would be similar to the ones we have found, as are most singles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met a lovely lady at a club briefly then began chatting on here and now the 3 of us are great friends! We would never pressure anyone into anything and first and foremost we became friends then just add a little fun into the mix. Maybe get chatting to some couples and definitely meet socially first xx |
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"Ha no definitely not a ' look at me' thread, have just been reading posts from couples and thinking I might re think my approach as some of them sounded like nice people!
My big fear is being pressurised into doing something I don't really want to do and how to build a relationship with a couple that works for everyone, that's what I'm struggling with. "
We quite like a chat and a bit of 'getting to know you' before any meet on occasion. I think it would work if you were just upfront with what you are looking for and just see how it goes.
Not much help really lol but what else can you do? Lol
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our most regular playmate(s) is a lovely single lady, a relationship that has developed from meeting at a club into a great friendship, mutual fun and trust, we feel blessed to know her, chat everyday and meet every few weeks, the whole relationship is based on all three of us being equals, fulfilling everyone's desires, never ever has the fun been a U.S. & her situation, she is not our plaything, fantasy or a toy for us to use, we are all each other's playmates, when we are together as a threesome it's all of us together
Does any of that make sense? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wondering why I haven't had more replies since apparently I'm a unicorn but maybe the thread title suggests I'm a man..,? "
alas your too far from us xxxx |
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By *eekayCouple
over a year ago
Sheffield |
We are acutely aware of the single lady and her feelings.
It must be nerve wracking meeting for the first time, which is why we chat on here first and then if agreed, the ladies would meet alone.
Perhaps just suggest FF meet for coffee.....keep it v simple.
C x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a period of time where I stopped meeting couples as lost faith in why I was there...it happens to most of us unicorns at some point...unless u are happy being a single then you probably will find some awkwardness in couples dynamics...I had my faith restored by a fantastic couple and now meet a few couples on a regular basis and feel more comfortable approaching them in clubs...take your time and when it's right you will find yourself going with the flow and loving it..  |
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We are so lucky. We have met a lady together who has become a really great friend. She is never a spare part and neither of us use her - we have such a lovely time together and laugh so much. We would happily meet up socially too - not every couple wants to just play with another lady to enhance their own relationship, but I do understand your hesitation. I would hate anyone to feel used after a meet - Good luck xxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our most regular playmate(s) is a lovely single lady, a relationship that has developed from meeting at a club into a great friendship, mutual fun and trust, we feel blessed to know her, chat everyday and meet every few weeks, the whole relationship is based on all three of us being equals, fulfilling everyone's desires, never ever has the fun been a U.S. & her situation, she is not our plaything, fantasy or a toy for us to use, we are all each other's playmates, when we are together as a threesome it's all of us together
Does any of that make sense? X"
This has been my experience of playing with couples a friendship with great sex added to the mix. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've played with couples before, mainly in clubs, but also twice with people I've met through the internet ( not this site)
I've not done it on here as although I've been messaged by couples, I've got no way of knowing whether I'll be attracted to them or whether we'll get on and when I met couples before, I felt pressurised by them to play and I don't want to be in that situation again.
However... having been on the forums for a while ( only recently discovered them!), there are a lot of lovely people here which has made me interested in trying a couple again.
I am bi but only if I'm physically attracted to the woman and there is a connection, which for me takes time to develop. I also don't want to be just a sex toy to enhance their relationship, which I have felt it was before. Made me feel a bit used and more acutely aware of my single status.
I do genuinely enjoy playing with women, have played with 15 women and it's been lovely, there's just something about the couples dynamic and meeting strangers off the internet that I find off putting.
Not really sure what I want from this thread, just putting it out there in the hope of some words of wisdom from both single women and couples..."
 Awwww not single men with wisdom I have met couples and not felt used but suppose that's just me ,for close couples who form the basis of swinging you are unfortunately always going to be a toy for them to play with and send home and for the not so close couples ultimately a toy of their destruction but if you like clubs you don't really need intimacy so I think you will be fine |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
The only thing you can really do to ensure the best possibility of a successful meet with a couple is communicate, communicate, communicate.
You can't judge attraction completely accurately until you meet, so concentrate on getting a feel for them in terms of trust and understanding of what everyone wants and expects from the experience. Any alarm bells at all, don't go. It still may not work out how you wish, but you will have a better chance of a successful meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have spoken to many couples on here and also met socially at clubs! I have formed great friendships with them and some have become playmates too . I am always upfront and honest and openly discuss boundaries etc ! Maybe browse local couples profiles and if you like the look of any message them! I have to say that most couples I have met have been very respectful as well as good fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have spoken to many couples on here and also met socially at clubs! I have formed great friendships with them and some have become playmates too . I am always upfront and honest and openly discuss boundaries etc ! Maybe browse local couples profiles and if you like the look of any message them! I have to say that most couples I have met have been very respectful as well as good fun! "
A voice of reason, thank goodness.
Op, in our experience a single woman has to be confident in herself and happy being single. If you're someone who could feel 'used', as you say, then perhaps playing with couples isn't for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have spoken to many couples on here and also met socially at clubs! I have formed great friendships with them and some have become playmates too . I am always upfront and honest and openly discuss boundaries etc ! Maybe browse local couples profiles and if you like the look of any message them! I have to say that most couples I have met have been very respectful as well as good fun!
A voice of reason, thank goodness.
Op, in our experience a single woman has to be confident in herself and happy being single. If you're someone who could feel 'used', as you say, then perhaps playing with couples isn't for you."
Exactly this! I am happily single if you communicate well with any couple you may potentially meet its likely to be great 'issue' free fun! I've never felt used by the lovely couples I know ! Be confident, be sexy and most of all have fun! |
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Quite a few unicorns I know have had a similar experience to different degrees.
May have to do with how "bi" the lady is. Some have a yendsncy whilst others love it. The only way to not feel a spare part is if she wants you as much as he does...and you want them both.
I happen to think clubs would be the best place for you to meet couples. But that is a separate matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like being called a unicorn lol ! As its you I'll let you off!I'm bi, not curious, and very much enjoy playing with females! "
I don't like the term either.
I think it means the women that pretend to be bi for attention. I am a real bisexual woman and therefore not a unicorn.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like being called a unicorn lol ! As its you I'll let you off!I'm bi, not curious, and very much enjoy playing with females!
I don't like the term either.
I think it means the women that pretend to be bi for attention. I am a real bisexual woman and therefore not a unicorn. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A unicorn is a bisexual single lady who will play with men, ladies and couples. They are called Unicorns because of their rarity. "
I know but doesn't mean we like the 'name' xx |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
There is a 'swinging novel' called The Secret Life of a Unicorn by Michelle Louise. It's written by a friend of someone off here (they drew our attention to it), and have to say it is a very decent read, and obviously written by someone with some real experience of the scene. |
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"A unicorn is a bisexual single lady who will play with men, ladies and couples. They are called Unicorns because of their rarity.
I know but doesn't mean we like the 'name' xx"
I don't pay the name any attention. Just a short hand name with a touch of the exotic injected.
A rose by any other name.... |
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"Ha no definitely not a ' look at me' thread, have just been reading posts from couples and thinking I might re think my approach as some of them sounded like nice people!
My big fear is being pressurised into doing something I don't really want to do and how to build a relationship with a couple that works for everyone, that's what I'm struggling with. "
I think you just need to stop over-thinking it.
Your main problem will be sorting the "Unicorn chasers" from the swingers.
We prefer to focus on the person, rather than any label, so if we like someone, we like them, and we hope they like us. Friendship doesn't mean we will play, but at least we've made a new friend, we socialise with them, and, if it happens, it happens.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, try to get to events (socials, parties etc) where you can get to know people, have a giggle, and make friends... after that, well, I'm sure you will be knee deep in the kind of fun you are looking for.
And... (hey, its got to be done, right?) if not, hit us up, Jayne would love you!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've been looking for ages, I wish we could find a female that wants to play on a regular basis :-/"
You've not really been here for ages so don't get disheartened. As you can see by the initial post; those single femmes are out there. Happy hunting. |
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"Our most regular playmate(s) is a lovely single lady, a relationship that has developed from meeting at a club into a great friendship, mutual fun and trust, we feel blessed to know her, chat everyday and meet every few weeks, the whole relationship is based on all three of us being equals, fulfilling everyone's desires, never ever has the fun been a U.S. & her situation, she is not our plaything, fantasy or a toy for us to use, we are all each other's playmates, when we are together as a threesome it's all of us together
Does any of that make sense? X"
We would so love to find a relationship like that!  |
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