FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I'm sure there's a zillion other threads like this...
I'm sure there's a zillion other threads like this...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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But what gives with people getting so defensive when you don't reply to messages?! I don't get loads and loads of messages but I only respond to ones from people I like the look of or like the profile of. This one guy didn't get a response from me and sent another message, again I ignored it and then he had the cheek to tell me to lower my age limit, or take a good look at myself. And then blocked me.
Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile saying that I don't reply to all messages? I'm of the mind that I can do what I like and would prefer to keep it like that but feel very frustrated at how some people react. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But what gives with people getting so defensive when you don't reply to messages?! I don't get loads and loads of messages but I only respond to ones from people I like the look of or like the profile of. This one guy didn't get a response from me and sent another message, again I ignored it and then he had the cheek to tell me to lower my age limit, or take a good look at myself. And then blocked me.
Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile saying that I don't reply to all messages? I'm of the mind that I can do what I like and would prefer to keep it like that but feel very frustrated at how some people react. "
I really would not worry about how strangers react. Just carry on the way you want to. The block button is useful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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block someone who thinks if you havent read their message quickly enough...no time for people thinking they have to get what they want when they want it..
patience is a virtue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you'll find that many haven't read the site FAQ's regarding the lack of replies to messages.
There's no need to put such a disclaimer on your profile, as apart from taking up additional valuable server space, the subject has already been covered by the site owners. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But what gives with people getting so defensive when you don't reply to messages?! I don't get loads and loads of messages but I only respond to ones from people I like the look of or like the profile of. This one guy didn't get a response from me and sent another message, again I ignored it and then he had the cheek to tell me to lower my age limit, or take a good look at myself. And then blocked me.
Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile saying that I don't reply to all messages? I'm of the mind that I can do what I like and would prefer to keep it like that but feel very frustrated at how some people react.
I really would not worry about how strangers react. Just carry on the way you want to. The block button is useful."
I'm not worried as such, it just pisses me off that people feel that they have a right to your time. And I'm in a grumpy mood anyway so this just worsened it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But what gives with people getting so defensive when you don't reply to messages?! I don't get loads and loads of messages but I only respond to ones from people I like the look of or like the profile of. This one guy didn't get a response from me and sent another message, again I ignored it and then he had the cheek to tell me to lower my age limit, or take a good look at myself. And then blocked me.
Should I be putting a disclaimer on my profile saying that I don't reply to all messages? I'm of the mind that I can do what I like and would prefer to keep it like that but feel very frustrated at how some people react.
I really would not worry about how strangers react. Just carry on the way you want to. The block button is useful.
I'm not worried as such, it just pisses me off that people feel that they have a right to your time. And I'm in a grumpy mood anyway so this just worsened it! "
Don't let it bother you Hunny. I get called fat and old when I don't comply with some people's (usually mens) wishes. Makes me wonder why they wanted to meet me  . Ignore. Delete. Block. They really are not worth anymore of your time.  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I read profiles and, if they're are insufficiently close to the type of guy I am actually hoping to meet, I don't even open the message. Then I bulk delete the next day. If they send me a snotty message I copy the link to the relevant section of the FAQs and block them. I don't like entitlement kings (or queens). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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doesn't sound unreasonable and he hasn't done anything wrong he tried to make contact. send and if it gets read you wait a reply. if you didnt read em how do you know he said lower age? confused .com |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read profiles and, if they're are insufficiently close to the type of guy I am actually hoping to meet, I don't even open the message. Then I bulk delete the next day. If they send me a snotty message I copy the link to the relevant section of the FAQs and block them. I don't like entitlement kings (or queens)."
open yer flaps... |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I read profiles and, if they're are insufficiently close to the type of guy I am actually hoping to meet, I don't even open the message. Then I bulk delete the next day. If they send me a snotty message I copy the link to the relevant section of the FAQs and block them. I don't like entitlement kings (or queens).
open yer flaps..."
Blocked!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone had taken the time to write a decent message to us, we will always reply even if we are not interested, that's just courtesy however if it's a one liner or if there profile has barely anything on it we won't waste our time and effort as clearly theyve put no effort in either! |
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I have to admit I usually send a cutting reply, if it is appropriate - although not always, but I do see if it's obvious they have not read the profile (ours scares people off as its too long, but hey!) Block button comes in handy too, but I do like to get my point across also. My partner says, 'why bother' and he does have a point I suppose - but I hear a lot from people who say they send polite messages and get no reply. I have had really offensive replies or messages back if I don't answer or say no - that is why I block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read profiles and, if they're are insufficiently close to the type of guy I am actually hoping to meet, I don't even open the message. Then I bulk delete the next day. If they send me a snotty message I copy the link to the relevant section of the FAQs and block them. I don't like entitlement kings (or queens).
open yer flaps...
Blocked! "
uses other profile..
now I said OPEN yer FLAPS |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"doesn't sound unreasonable and he hasn't done anything wrong he tried to make contact. send and if it gets read you wait a reply. if you didnt read em how do you know he said lower age? confused .com"
I read them, just didn't reply. And I hasten to add that it was only a few hours since reading that I got the follow-up messages! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have to admit I usually send a cutting reply, if it is appropriate - although not always, but I do see if it's obvious they have not read the profile (ours scares people off as its too long, but hey!) Block button comes in handy too, but I do like to get my point across also. My partner says, 'why bother' and he does have a point I suppose - but I hear a lot from people who say they send polite messages and get no reply. I have had really offensive replies or messages back if I don't answer or say no - that is why I block. "
This how I feel! Once bloke basically asked me for a shag and when I didn't reply, he starting criticising me. I called him out on it and he apologised but why the fuck turn nasty? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply to all decent messages when the guy has read my profile.
I have received nasty messages when turning them down a few times like - it's ok you're fat anyway - and another - you are probably an unmarried fat women I wouldn't look twice at in a night club on benefits.
To which I reported and blocked. |
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"I have to admit I usually send a cutting reply, if it is appropriate - although not always, but I do see if it's obvious they have not read the profile (ours scares people off as its too long, but hey!) Block button comes in handy too, but I do like to get my point across also. My partner says, 'why bother' and he does have a point I suppose - but I hear a lot from people who say they send polite messages and get no reply. I have had really offensive replies or messages back if I don't answer or say no - that is why I block. "
Totally with you...bf always says ignore but I like to make the point that we wouldn't meet them in a million years!!!! |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"If someone had taken the time to write a decent message to us, we will always reply even if we are not interested, that's just courtesy however if it's a one liner or if there profile has barely anything on it we won't waste our time and effort as clearly theyve put no effort in either!"
Agree with this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably a married guy, hoping to play away and thinking the site is instashag!
Many of the guys who complain about not getting replies have short profiles. Only pics are cock shots taken in bathroom and cannot accommodate. Dead give always of cheats! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No point in putting you don't reply, you'll just get messages saying "i know you don't reply but..." or "i hope you reply to me" and that will piss you off too lol.
Don't know why some guys get defensive, they're impatient and rude and it's nothing to do with you, don't let them spoil your enjoyment of this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend of mine came up with a novel solution here on Fab. She blocked all messages from everyone but still put up her profile preferences (which is single men btw). She then posted on her profile that all those who meet her criteria can message her only when she's online and she removes her message filters only there and then for the duration of being online.
Works like a charm. She doesn't get flooded by messages, she doesn't get called nasty names from guys whom she doesn't reply, and there's that extra element of luck in filtering out the vast majority of single males here who seem out to try their luck once they see a pretty profile. She can still message guys she sees online and is keen in, in which case message filters won't matter any longer for said guy in question.
Perhaps such an approach should be considered by more people in here? |
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