FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Struggling!
Struggling!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been on here constantly for a few months now! I must've sent hundreds of messages! I've tried different and unique messages, I've sent pasted messages, sent them with photos and no photos!
I always read profiles fully and take note when contacting people!
I've played about with my profile, tried different pictures and all types different text!
I'm not asking this to change my profile to suit people, I'm not that way inclined! But I do want to improve my chances of luck?! It's either that or I'm an ugly c**t that no one wants ha!
What's your opinions peeps?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only thing that would stop me meeting you is that you're a smoker. As the person above said try a club or social.
Could just be the area you are in, do a browse and check out the competition in your area and see who's having success and who isn't. Could just purely be down to numbers in your area. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would love to go to a club and relish in it but I know I'm not going do well in that situation! I go all shy in big crowds and groups!  That's certainly not going to help?
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"I've been on here constantly for a few months now! I must've sent hundreds of messages! I've tried different and unique messages, I've sent pasted messages, sent them with photos and no photos!
I always read profiles fully and take note when contacting people!
I've played about with my profile, tried different pictures and all types different text!
I'm not asking this to change my profile to suit people, I'm not that way inclined! But I do want to improve my chances of luck?! It's either that or I'm an ugly c**t that no one wants ha!
What's your opinions peeps? "
This place is very often it's own worst enemy. The odds are stacked so much against single guys it can sometimes make them over keen and pushy. Most women don't like pushy guys, and so the circle closes further for them. Stay positive, remain patient, and i sure it'll work out in the end. Good luck. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Nice pics. Being a smoker is a deal-breaker for me though.
Also, the title of your profile, about squatters and squirters is a bit off-putting.
I'm too tall for you anyway.
Otherwise, I can't see why you wouldn't get meets. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I would love to go to a club and relish in it but I know I'm not going do well in that situation! I go all shy in big crowds and groups! That's certainly not going to help?
"
Social at Jaydees, end of June. Check the meets and events section. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab only complements and aids your search for playmates. It can't replace the need to actually physically meet people and sense their sexual chemistry. You can't email your way into bed with someone imo.
There are many people on here, ourselves included, who spend time writing precisely because they aren't swinging...and they're just passing the time. Once we start swinging you're unlikely to see much of us    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to go to a club and relish in it but I know I'm not going do well in that situation! I go all shy in big crowds and groups! That's certainly not going to help?
"
You need some dutch courage and a pair of balls. Man up! Get in there and defy your shy self. Make it happen...you won't regret it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There you go! Several ladies on this thread would meet you but are too far away. So, is it something you are putting in your messages? What do you write in a typical message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here constantly for a few months now! I must've sent hundreds of messages! I've tried different and unique messages, I've sent pasted messages, sent them with photos and no photos!
I always read profiles fully and take note when contacting people!
I've played about with my profile, tried different pictures and all types different text!
I'm not asking this to change my profile to suit people, I'm not that way inclined! But I do want to improve my chances of luck?! It's either that or I'm an ugly c**t that no one wants ha!
What's your opinions peeps? "
It's the hardest thinking what's going wrong ?
Your profile is too I we need to know who you are (personality) what you like (but not too specific) then why someone would pick you and what you can do for them ( not like fix their boiler ? Lol)
Socials are a good way there is know need to be shy its just I good way to say 'hi' if they like you great !
Try a social meet for a chat ?
If a club is too much by yourself ask a regular attendee for an escort there are local ladies to me who will only meet at clubs chat to them
Above all there is no hurry its not a race it's just fun lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm definately not going to sulk! I will be patient and improve. I'll re-word
My profile so it's not all about me and I'll take a few man up tabs I think! Get to a good club. Eurekas is near me and seems like a place to try? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go to a Newbie night at a club lots do them just browse their websites.
That way everyone will be in the same boat.
If you put a thread up at the moment asking for someone to accompany you to a club. Prepare to get flamed as that seems very in right now.
Perhaps ask a couple or single in a message asking to tag along just to get the feel of the place. |
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"I'm definately not going to sulk! I will be patient and improve. I'll re-word
My profile so it's not all about me and I'll take a few man up tabs I think! Get to a good club. Eurekas is near me and seems like a place to try?"
I think it will happen for you Ryan you seem like a positive guy and you have been trying a few different methods. Like others have said try socials etc and good luck with getting a meet.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm definately not going to sulk! I will be patient and improve. I'll re-word
My profile so it's not all about me and I'll take a few man up tabs I think! Get to a good club. Eurekas is near me and seems like a place to try?"
I like you,you come across as a decent guy and you look good too
I hope things improve and you get some fun from here
I would hang around the forums,join in and get yourself to one of the socials,at least you will have interacted with some of the people going before you get there
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for all the replies. Even too the blokes...but more to the ladies. It's great I have some feedback and I've had a little go with my profile.
I'm going to start looking into some clubs and get my face out there abit.
It's a lot less scary knowing there's actually genuine people about |
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I think your pics are good....maybe not the cap one.
Your profile discriminates and is a little negative. By stating ideals (height, squirt etc.) you create measures that some may feel they dont match, so dont chat. Clear all that out and be open to all to approach.
Get on the forums. Have a banter and try and let the fun take over the frustration. I have messaged a couple of ladies on this thread and had a laugh. Its great fun.
I have had my first meet from joining in, making a comment with a after. That got a wink which begat a message exchange. At the end of that was a coffee and I now lie here sated after a fab couple of hours.
She wants to recommend me to a friend so its going great.
 |
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"Start talkin shit on here
your lucky enough to be in a highly populated area, Tian Tian the panda is the closest female to me and she's only up for it for 6minutes ever 3years.  "
I almost spat my drink across the room reading that hehe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like you're doing the right things matey. Unfortunately, patience is the name of the game for single guys round here. You'll hook in a female sooner or later - but like some have said - try and get to an event or two.
Best of luck |
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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago
Leicester |
I had exactly the same problem at one point. Trying to connect with women on was so hard, i tryed everything all sort of approaches, funny serious and nothing was happening. I even deleted my profile 3 times. But always came back. Then 1 night i decided to go to a club and it pretty much been fun ever since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TBH mate I can't understand why after over a year you have so little success (though I've clearly not read your messages).
I'm older, shorter, uglier? (Subjective) but seem to be doing ok.
Feel free to check my profile - or anyone else with success..... Nick ideas - there's no copyright lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here constantly for a few months now! I must've sent hundreds of messages! I've tried different and unique messages, I've sent pasted messages, sent them with photos and no photos!
I always read profiles fully and take note when contacting people!
I've played about with my profile, tried different pictures and all types different text!
I'm not asking this to change my profile to suit people, I'm not that way inclined! But I do want to improve my chances of luck?! It's either that or I'm an ugly c**t that no one wants ha!
What's your opinions peeps? "
I feel your pain buddy, any pointers for me will be greatly received. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've had some good responses this afternoon and I appreciate all of the advise.
I won't loose the hats however! There part of me.
Much love to you all x |
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Yet still mentions a number of things he was advised to omit.....not just by me either.
Its easy to find if a lady is a squirter....just read their veris. Saying its desireable puts those who haven't (yet) off and makes him look tick box driven.
Height, again, is ok for women who can pick n choose but slightly taller ladies may decide they are not his ideal....again limiting responses.
Explaining the type of experience he wants and atmosphere will give those reading a feel without being measured. Once contact is made he can weigh up if he likes those who like him.
Good looking guy and good attitude so he should have fun......says the guy with a world of experience (not). Just my objective thoughts.
Good luck |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Yet still mentions a number of things he was advised to omit.....not just by me either"
So he's decided to keep them. It's his profile and it should represent his, so it's entirely his choice what to write.
He's taken the advice and suggestions on board and accepted the ones he wants to. It's pretty rude to pull someone up for not making all the changes you think he should.
Besides, the comments here are from a tiny minority of site members and not everyone said the same thing. Not everyone likes the same thing.
Plus, the profile is intended to attract women, and you aren't one!  |
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I agree...but a number commented on the squirt comment. ..if not the height.
I am not pulling him up....I am in no place to do so ! However, admirable as it is to ask advice, to get it (from ladies) and not act on it is unusual and counter productive.
If in trying to help I offend him, then thats fine, I am man enough to apologise to him. I can be a little forthright but not insensitive.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had some good responses this afternoon and I appreciate all of the advise.
I won't loose the hats however! There part of me.
Much love to you all x"
You should keep the hats they suit you x the trouble is everyone will have a different opinion of a good profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep the hat you look cheeky in it! Shows off who you are!
And take on suggestion but don't make changes and lose what it is that you are trying to find on here! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I agree...but a number commented on the squirt comment. ..if not the height.
I am not pulling him up....I am in no place to do so ! However, admirable as it is to ask advice, to get it (from ladies) and not act on it is unusual and counter productive.
If in trying to help I offend him, then thats fine, I am man enough to apologise to him. I can be a little forthright but not insensitive.
"
You sound very critical of the fact he's not completely done as he's told. Suggestions are just that, they can be accepted or not, as suits the person.
I've had suggestions made about my profile. Someone even rewrote it for me once without being asked! Perhaps it would have got more interest but it didn't represent me and what I am interested in. Any interest would have been in a fictitious person, not me.
I chose not to make the suggested changes.
The OP apparently feels his profile represents him as it is. I don't think there's anything especially off-putting about it now.
I probably wouldn't contact him, even if he wasn't a smoker but I'm not what he's looking for so that's a good thing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's right, I've made some touch-ups and said from the start I wouldn't be changing who I am to suit!
I've taken the advice on board and I will always try to improve it, not just re-write completely.
The hat is a sticky area for me, it's me, I wear hats! Alof of people arnt liking them tho? Opinions? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"That's right, I've made some touch-ups and said from the start I wouldn't be changing who I am to suit!
I've taken the advice on board and I will always try to improve it, not just re-write completely.
The hat is a sticky area for me, it's me, I wear hats! Alof of people arnt liking them tho? Opinions?"
Your pics are fine. They're quirky.
Advice is one thing but don't be pushed into changing to suit what others think you should say. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Quirky is good! Thank you for that one.
I will never change for anyone! I am me and always will be! I try to be the same person I always am, wherever I am, whatever I'm doing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you look splendid and obviously have a great personality. Just keep going and dont be discouraged.... In the meantime enjoy it....nothing worse than whingers. Now that really puts peeps off. ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you messaging people who are actually looking to meet, or are you using the old scattergun approach ?
I personally don't like the latter. You see for us, we don't play that often really, so when we receive messages from people (usually guys), what are we meant to do with them? Do I store them all up for when we are able to meet? Or should I reply to all of them and correspond with hundreds of guys until that day arrives.
OP I have done the corresponding over the years and have learnt, by and large it's a waste of time, because cone the day when we are free, the vast majority of guys aren't.
My advice - go to clubs/ socials or pick on people who want to meet today. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eureka is a good club to go to - end of June has Sat night dedicated to armed forces - should be a good night.
I dont like the " tongue " pic myself lol x Also the height thing would put me off x |
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