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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After many years of deliberating, I have finally taken the plunge into the world of swinging.
I am new to this seen and wanted to get your views on swinging. My emotions are very mixed at the moment. Yes, I feel guilty of cheating on my wife, but my libido takes over. Is this normal? What should I do?
Please Help and advice and share your experience. Joe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you than say that many (or most) on here and similar site are adulterous?"
if they are doing it behind a partners back, then yes, of course they are. |
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Op you obviously feel bad about it as per the title of your thread and the opening post. I wouldn't expect a long lost of replies telling you it's ok.
At the end of the day it's your life so you do what you like just be prepared for the consequences if you get found out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you than say that many (or most) on here and similar site are adulterous?"
No.
As you will probably find out as this thread runs it's course most swimgers take a dim view on adultery. If you are expecting this site to provide a source of sex hungry females with few if any morals you are going to be very disappointed. And there are so many unattached men on here that many women will choose them as they are often more reliable, certainly more flexible and most importantly come without the riak of drama.
That's not to say you are condemned to failure on here but almost all single men struggle on here and being married normally makes success on here even harder to come by. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you than say that many (or most) on here and similar site are adulterous?
No.
As you will probably find out as this thread runs it's course most swimgers take a dim view on adultery. If you are expecting this site to provide a source of sex hungry females with few if any morals you are going to be very disappointed. And there are so many unattached men on here that many women will choose them as they are often more reliable, certainly more flexible and most importantly come without the riak of drama.
That's not to say you are condemned to failure on here but almost all single men struggle on here and being married normally makes success on here even harder to come by."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After many years of deliberating, I have finally taken the plunge into the world of swinging.
I am new to this seen and wanted to get your views on swinging. My emotions are very mixed at the moment. Yes, I feel guilty of cheating on my wife, but my libido takes over. Is this normal? What should I do?
Please Help and advice and share your experience. Joe. "
..would your wife not join you on here?..its consenting then not cheating..nette |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest it sounds as if you are already unsure the scene is for you and seeking feedback for others to say they felt similar when first joining. I'm not sure you will hear what you want to and I suspect you will get some stern comments concerning your adultery.
I think it is best if you establish if this is for you first. If sex is not an option at home I do have some sympathy.
If you establish you want to give it a go write a bit more of a detailed profile, add some body shots and different photos and be prepared to graft. By which I mean you will need to make the first move with females and couples. Make your messages polite, not one line and legible and see how you get on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After many years of deliberating, I have finally taken the plunge into the world of swinging.
I am new to this seen and wanted to get your views on swinging. My emotions are very mixed at the moment. Yes, I feel guilty of cheating on my wife, but my libido takes over. Is this normal? What should I do?
Please Help and advice and share your experience. Joe. "
I agree with others that this isn't swinging. It's cheating. I can see why you feel guilty and sooner or later if it turns into actual meets you will just feel worse until she finds out.
My advice is to talk to your wife and sort out your relationship either way. This site won't fix your life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest it sounds as if you are already unsure the scene is for you and seeking feedback for others to say they felt similar when first joining. I'm not sure you will hear what you want to and I suspect you will get some stern comments concerning your adultery.
I think it is best if you establish if this is for you first. If sex is not an option at home I do have some sympathy.
If you establish you want to give it a go write a bit more of a detailed profile, add some body shots and different photos and be prepared to graft. By which I mean you will need to make the first move with females and couples. Make your messages polite, not one line and legible and see how you get on.
"
Thanks for all your advice. I think they are many here in the same boat.
No doubt, I will have to man up and discuss it at home.
Is there any women here first found out that their man was sleeping around?
If the tables were turned, what would a man reaction be?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest it sounds as if you are already unsure the scene is for you and seeking feedback for others to say they felt similar when first joining. I'm not sure you will hear what you want to and I suspect you will get some stern comments concerning your adultery.
I think it is best if you establish if this is for you first. If sex is not an option at home I do have some sympathy.
If you establish you want to give it a go write a bit more of a detailed profile, add some body shots and different photos and be prepared to graft. By which I mean you will need to make the first move with females and couples. Make your messages polite, not one line and legible and see how you get on.
Thanks for all your advice. I think they are many here in the same boat.
No doubt, I will have to man up and discuss it at home.
Is there any women here first found out that their man was sleeping around?
If the tables were turned, what would a man reaction be?
"
A persons reaction is not determined by their gender but their individuality.
That said, I believe that less men (than women) are concerned about the person they are sleeping with being in a relationship. Perhaps thats due to females being able to pick people who are not adulterers were as men have less choice on the site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think maybe you should ask yourself...how would you feel if you came across your wifes profile and saw that she'd had meets...??
Would it be an issue for you?
I don't believe humans are designed to be sexually exclusive..why else would we continue to look and fantasize while still in a loving relationship! 
I believe we're supposed to make many connections with many people, some connections are stronger and last longer than others.
My husband couldn't understand my need for sexual contact with others and I, at the time was unable to explain it, so I left him.
Be true to yourself and don't lie to others is the way to go...you're best coming clean with the Mrs, get it out in the open and discuss it like grown ups and not angry, jealous kids, YOU have every right to an exciting sex life, just as your wife has every right to expect her husband to be faithful!  |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
You are definitely cheating. Whether it's justified, only you can decide that. If your wife isn't interested in sex maybe you should have a conversation with her as to why... Maybe if you point out that you are a man and need it she might think differently. Or maybe she just doesn't want to sleep with you anymore.
Either way you got some thinking to do, because heaven forbid she finds out. As a woman scorned i know exactly how much of a bitch i was when my husband cheated.
ps, for the record i do hope she has a single profile on here and is getting plenty of cock. only cos karma is a bitch
Julie x |
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"After many years of deliberating, I have finally taken the plunge into the world of swinging.
I am new to this seen and wanted to get your views on swinging. My emotions are very mixed at the moment. Yes, I feel guilty of cheating on my wife, but my libido takes over. Is this normal? What should I do?
Please Help and advice and share your experience. Joe. "
I will follow some excellent advice given by admin: The forums are meant to be fun and if you feel your blood pressure rising as you read a message on there, maybe take a break from it for a short while? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Karma can be a bitch. My personal view is that I dont want to cause hurt to any person just so I can have an hour or two of fun. I also dont want to deal with an angry partner turning up on my doorstep.
Think about how you would feel, and examine your own personal views on honesty, loyalty, respect, trust, and love. Should give you your answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMO not telling your partner it crosses your mind to fuck someone else is the greatest deceit. Truth is, whether or not you eventually meet someone, hiding that thought causes far more grief and 'guilt'. S/he may already know :P
Personally, I see no reason for a divorce just to get a few hours, months, or years  of 'greed'.
As you already feel guilty, I would say, come clean man, and get it over with. You'd be shocked its not worth the effort and pain. Yet, why not find out for yourself. Goodluck which ever way you decide to swing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Give the guy a chance,
Welcome to the site,
Have fun,
Always best to lie about your status, who needs to know, main thing is you have a cock and it can get hard, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all for your honest comments, cutting in some cases but fair. Now time for some serious deliberation and reflection.
Everyone (sorry most) know it in their heart of hearts what is right and 'not right'. But needs others to point out these. So thank you all. It has helped me refocus. If it has helped anyone else than that's a bonus.
Joe. x
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"I think maybe you should ask yourself...how would you feel if you came across your wifes profile and saw that she'd had meets...??
Would it be an issue for you?
I don't believe humans are designed to be sexually exclusive..why else would we continue to look and fantasize while still in a loving relationship!
I believe we're supposed to make many connections with many people, some connections are stronger and last longer than others.
My husband couldn't understand my need for sexual contact with others and I, at the time was unable to explain it, so I left him.
Be true to yourself and don't lie to others is the way to go...you're best coming clean with the Mrs, get it out in the open and discuss it like grown ups and not angry, jealous kids, YOU have every right to an exciting sex life, just as your wife has every right to expect her husband to be faithful! "
This especially the last paragraph is very wise comment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Op you obviously feel bad about it as per the title of your thread and the opening post. I wouldn't expect a long lost of replies telling you it's ok.
At the end of the day it's your life so you do what you like just be prepared for the consequences if you get found out."
|
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or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think maybe you should ask yourself...how would you feel if you came across your wifes profile and saw that she'd had meets...??
Would it be an issue for you?
I don't believe humans are designed to be sexually exclusive..why else would we continue to look and fantasize while still in a loving relationship!
I believe we're supposed to make many connections with many people, some connections are stronger and last longer than others.
My husband couldn't understand my need for sexual contact with others and I, at the time was unable to explain it, so I left him.
Be true to yourself and don't lie to others is the way to go...you're best coming clean with the Mrs, get it out in the open and discuss it like grown ups and not angry, jealous kids, YOU have every right to an exciting sex life, just as your wife has every right to expect her husband to be faithful! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think maybe you should ask yourself...how would you feel if you came across your wifes profile and saw that she'd had meets...??
Would it be an issue for you?
I don't believe humans are designed to be sexually exclusive..why else would we continue to look and fantasize while still in a loving relationship!
I believe we're supposed to make many connections with many people, some connections are stronger and last longer than others.
My husband couldn't understand my need for sexual contact with others and I, at the time was unable to explain it, so I left him.
Be true to yourself and don't lie to others is the way to go...you're best coming clean with the Mrs, get it out in the open and discuss it like grown ups and not angry, jealous kids, YOU have every right to an exciting sex life, just as your wife has every right to expect her husband to be faithful! "
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