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Doubts about male friend
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This could be completely unfounded, but Mr Fox and I have found ourselves wondering if a male friend of ours might be taken.
He is a lovely bloke through and through but it seems his flakiness might hint at something else happening behind closed doors.
It seems a bit much to directly address but at the same time I think that sort of blunt attitude can be needed in swinging - how would you guys approach this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We'd probably ask directly, if you're finding him a bit flakey then it's good to give him the opportunity to explain why, there can be so many genuine reasons but if you suspect it's best to just ask |
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"I’m blunt.
First thing I ask and one of the most important things to me.
I absolutely ask out right and if I sense anything doubt I’m done x"
He's always had face pics public which massively put us off this line of thought! Obviously you can never know x |
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"We'd probably ask directly, if you're finding him a bit flakey then it's good to give him the opportunity to explain why, there can be so many genuine reasons but if you suspect it's best to just ask "
Absolutely, he's such a sweetheart so we're coming from a place of genuine confusion as opposed to spite - think it'll definitely be best to frame it in a way that leaves room to explain anything else x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We'd probably ask directly, if you're finding him a bit flakey then it's good to give him the opportunity to explain why, there can be so many genuine reasons but if you suspect it's best to just ask
Absolutely, he's such a sweetheart so we're coming from a place of genuine confusion as opposed to spite - think it'll definitely be best to frame it in a way that leaves room to explain anything else x"
I'm sure you can ask in a respectful way, and all will be fine! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is he sharing your bed?
If so then you have every right to ask.
It states clearly on your profile that you don’t meet cheaters.
Hope it’s not bad news . Good luck x |
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We had this a few years back. A guy we were seeing said he was single but despite asking him directly so many times things didn’t seem to add up and feel right. Ultimately it went tits up when his wife picked up his phone and read some of our messages. We called it a day straight away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had this a few years back. A guy we were seeing said he was single but despite asking him directly so many times things didn’t seem to add up and feel right. Ultimately it went tits up when his wife picked up his phone and read some of our messages. We called it a day straight away "
That's mad! |
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We don't meet cheaters or taken men, when we first came into the world of swinging and had our second mmf meet but we were quite nieve and to trusting to start with, after the second time with this guy we suspected he was attached, and one of the biggest tell tail sign qas that the meets were very rushed and he was eager to get back in the road home, we didn't think anything of it the first time, but it became obv the second time...I would just come out and ask him. What have you got to loose...if he is then your likely not going to have anymore meets with him, and if he is not and he is as nice a guy as you say then he would understand why you asked... |
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"You've said that he's flaky....will knowing whether or not he's 'taken' change that?"
We're willing to persevere with people if they've got their own issues etc going on, but obviously don't want to be involved with taken folks |
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"We don't meet cheaters or taken men, when we first came into the world of swinging and had our second mmf meet but we were quite nieve and to trusting to start with, after the second time with this guy we suspected he was attached, and one of the biggest tell tail sign qas that the meets were very rushed and he was eager to get back in the road home, we didn't think anything of it the first time, but it became obv the second time...I would just come out and ask him. What have you got to loose...if he is then your likely not going to have anymore meets with him, and if he is not and he is as nice a guy as you say then he would understand why you asked..."
Good advice, thank you x |
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If he is telling you he is single and not then just ask him it’s not right keeping that away from others that’s why I’m up front about it. Some of you may slate me for doing this behind her back but folk don’t know the whole story ok yes it’s not right but what is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He said things have just been hectic, I don't have any gut feeling that he's lying, it just seemed to add up given his behaviour x"
He could be stupidly busy with work or family. Elderly parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you really want to persist with someone who's flaky (your words) and whose life is hectic?
How dare he have a life outside of their needs  "
There's a difference between being busy and respectful and being flaky.
They have a life too. |
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"I’m blunt.
First thing I ask and one of the most important things to me.
I absolutely ask out right and if I sense anything doubt I’m done x
He's always had face pics public which massively put us off this line of thought! Obviously you can never know x"
That means nothing, i know a few on here cheating and have public face pics |
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I’d go digging on social media if I had a gut feeling you’ve been lied to tbh…but that’s just me.
I found a few guys who persisted they were single were actually married/in a relationship. All can be swiftly found out with their phone number/name etc. |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I am surprised how many people just won’t ask the hard questions at the outset. Most people will tell you the truth when asked directly.
If your gut feeling is that he’s a cheater then go with your gut. It sounds as though he’s a great shag, which is probably why you’re doubting that gut feeling.
It’s your conscience that you have to live with though. |
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"I am surprised how many people just won’t ask the hard questions at the outset. Most people will tell you the truth when asked directly.
If your gut feeling is that he’s a cheater then go with your gut. It sounds as though he’s a great shag, which is probably why you’re doubting that gut feeling.
It’s your conscience that you have to live with though."
We've only met once and not "shagged", as usual lots of assumptions in the so called support section  |
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"Have you ever been to his home ?"
Nope, so very little to go on. But have asked the question now and everyone is correct about him just being caught up with life stuff, which I'd already said so not sure why I had to be hammered into the ground with the point. X |
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"I’d go digging on social media if I had a gut feeling you’ve been lied to tbh…but that’s just me.
I found a few guys who persisted they were single were actually married/in a relationship. All can be swiftly found out with their phone number/name etc. "
Saves hassle imho x |
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"I’m blunt.
First thing I ask and one of the most important things to me.
I absolutely ask out right and if I sense anything doubt I’m done x
He's always had face pics public which massively put us off this line of thought! Obviously you can never know x
That means nothing, i know a few on here cheating and have public face pics"
That's shocking! |
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"We don't meet cheaters or taken men, when we first came into the world of swinging and had our second mmf meet but we were quite nieve and to trusting to start with, after the second time with this guy we suspected he was attached, and one of the biggest tell tail sign qas that the meets were very rushed and he was eager to get back in the road home, we didn't think anything of it the first time, but it became obv the second time...I would just come out and ask him. What have you got to loose...if he is then your likely not going to have anymore meets with him, and if he is not and he is as nice a guy as you say then he would understand why you asked...
Good advice, thank you x"
Your most welcome. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I’d go digging on social media if I had a gut feeling you’ve been lied to tbh…but that’s just me.
I found a few guys who persisted they were single were actually married/in a relationship. All can be swiftly found out with their phone number/name etc. "
.This is not aimed at you I am not saying you do this but this is exactly why I don't give out my real name or phone number on here. And I'm single but I don't want people from fab moseying about my private life outside of here. And then some disgruntled asshole posting about my sex life all over social media which has happened to others on here. And not because they were attached but because they said they didn't want to meet someone.Their info was shared by someone they trusted on groups outside of here and that happens a lot on here.
Sorry for going off topic OP.I hope you got the answer too wanted from that. |
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"I’d go digging on social media if I had a gut feeling you’ve been lied to tbh…but that’s just me.
I found a few guys who persisted they were single were actually married/in a relationship. All can be swiftly found out with their phone number/name etc.
.This is not aimed at you I am not saying you do this but this is exactly why I don't give out my real name or phone number on here. And I'm single but I don't want people from fab moseying about my private life outside of here. And then some disgruntled asshole posting about my sex life all over social media which has happened to others on here. And not because they were attached but because they said they didn't want to meet someone.Their info was shared by someone they trusted on groups outside of here and that happens a lot on here.
Sorry for going off topic OP.I hope you got the answer too wanted from that."
No need to apologise, it's a very valid point and something to bear in mind!!! |
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By *rolicUsCouple
over a year ago
Filthyville |
"I’d go digging on social media if I had a gut feeling you’ve been lied to tbh…but that’s just me.
I found a few guys who persisted they were single were actually married/in a relationship. All can be swiftly found out with their phone number/name etc.
.This is not aimed at you I am not saying you do this but this is exactly why I don't give out my real name or phone number on here. And I'm single but I don't want people from fab moseying about my private life outside of here. And then some disgruntled asshole posting about my sex life all over social media which has happened to others on here. And not because they were attached but because they said they didn't want to meet someone.Their info was shared by someone they trusted on groups outside of here and that happens a lot on here.
Sorry for going off topic OP.I hope you got the answer too wanted from that."
Completely agree. Won’t give phone number. But I’d find it too hard not to use my real name. |
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