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LGBTIQA+ .....S?
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss  "
Interesting question from a straight man. What’s your view? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss
Interesting question from a straight man. What’s your view?"
I don't think it will ever happen, do you?  |
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By *ubandsubCouple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
Being a swinger is a lifestyle choice, where being gay, lesbian transgender, bi is not, its apart of we are.
You can pick and choose if you want to be a swinger, so personally no we dont need to be tagged on to another acronym. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been swinging for 50 years now. Seems nothing has changed. The convention being that sex is between two people in a relationship, and that consensual recreational sex with a third party is to be frowned upon irrespective of ones sexuality. |
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By *al kalMan
over a year ago
london |
"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss
Interesting question from a straight man. What’s your view?
I don't think it will ever happen, do you? "
Why would it? What reason could there be since you ask?
“Swinger” is not a sexual orientation or gender identity. Seems pretty clear to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss
Interesting question from a straight man. What’s your view?
I don't think it will ever happen, do you?
Why would it? What reason could there be since you ask?"
I thought swingers would want to join in with the LGBTIQA+ crowd, show the world that they're proud of who they are...obviously not |
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I have this conversation with students in my LGBTQIA+ club in school. Obviously nothing as specific as “swingers”, but definitely differing lifestyles. Even at 13-14 yrs old they recognise that there should be a letter for every single person on the planet, simply because everyone has the right to be represented and seen. They understand the ridiculousness of the idea, and agree that the vast majority of lifestyle choices (not sexuality) can be identified by just saying “queer”, but seeing as the word has been historically misused people won’t want to identify in this category.
Bloody smart, kids of today!
I’m not saying that swingers should use “queer” as their identity, I’m just saying that you have the full support of today’s youth if you want to stand up and be noticed! Lol |
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I remember reading that some included K for Kink in that list. It got some push back as it was seen as a choice. Others said they couldn't live without it in their lives so it's inclusion was valid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have this conversation with students in my LGBTQIA+ club in school. Obviously nothing as specific as “swingers”, but definitely differing lifestyles. Even at 13-14 yrs old they recognise that there should be a letter for every single person on the planet, simply because everyone has the right to be represented and seen. They understand the ridiculousness of the idea, and agree that the vast majority of lifestyle choices (not sexuality) can be identified by just saying “queer”, but seeing as the word has been historically misused people won’t want to identify in this category.
Bloody smart, kids of today!
I’m not saying that swingers should use “queer” as their identity, I’m just saying that you have the full support of today’s youth if you want to stand up and be noticed! Lol"
Most of the enm people I've met have identified as queer. I suspect that if everyone who deviated from the central tendancy 'came out' they'd be very little moral majority left! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Poly by orientation I have seen a lot recently, sluts have a compulsion as do many kinksters. Just my views obvs"
Exactly, theres more to being a swinger than just banging each others wives etc. Theres certainly a mental issue...looking through profiles and this forum will tell you that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss
Interesting question from a straight man. What’s your view?
I don't think it will ever happen, do you?
Why would it? What reason could there be since you ask?
“Swinger” is not a sexual orientation or gender identity. Seems pretty clear to me."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With it being about being proud of the body you was born into.why is it straight cannot be added to the list."
There is a straight pride flag and a straight ally one. |
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"With it being about being proud of the body you was born into.why is it straight cannot be added to the list.
There is a straight pride flag and a straight ally one. "
But let’s not forget that straight people haven’t feared for their lives because of their straightness. They haven’t had to live in the shadows for decades, and hide who they are for fear of being fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, etc just because of who they love. Being straight has never been something that people have cause to be hateful for. Being straight has never sent someone to prison. Being straight has never caused someone to be chemically castrated. Until straight people have been through the same hatred and discrimination that the queer community has been through, they will never know just how brave and important it is to stand up and wave a flag that says; “despite your hatred I am still proud of who I am!” Until then, waving a “straight pride” flag will continue to be a symbol of legitimacy for queer hatred, just like “white pride” is towards people of colour.
To all of the straight allies and friends of the queer community, we continually thank you for your love and support, and we love you back just as much! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"With it being about being proud of the body you was born into.why is it straight cannot be added to the list.
There is a straight pride flag and a straight ally one.
But let’s not forget that straight people haven’t feared for their lives because of their straightness. They haven’t had to live in the shadows for decades, and hide who they are for fear of being fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, etc just because of who they love. Being straight has never been something that people have cause to be hateful for. Being straight has never sent someone to prison. Being straight has never caused someone to be chemically castrated. Until straight people have been through the same hatred and discrimination that the queer community has been through, they will never know just how brave and important it is to stand up and wave a flag that says; “despite your hatred I am still proud of who I am!” Until then, waving a “straight pride” flag will continue to be a symbol of legitimacy for queer hatred, just like “white pride” is towards people of colour.
To all of the straight allies and friends of the queer community, we continually thank you for your love and support, and we love you back just as much!"
I agree, please review my profile. However, being a swinger or a slut or a kinkster could result in much of the discomfort you mention. For many it's not a lifestyle choice but a compulsion, like sexual orientation and gender. Hidden for fear of reprisal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree, please review my profile. However, being a swinger or a slut or a kinkster could result in much of the discomfort you mention. For many it's not a lifestyle choice but a compulsion, like sexual orientation and gender. Hidden for fear of reprisal. "
Reprisal, in 2022? Why do you thing LGBTIQA+ was formed, it was to show pride in who people are...? |
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Agree that being a swinger is a lifestyle choice, although being ENM/Poly could possibly. Yes it could also be counted as a lifestyle choice but it is also a huge part of who you (collective) are. I couldn't be monogamous again, I'd be lying to myself and anyone else involved if I tried. It's just who I am.
Px |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Being a swinger is a lifestyle choice, where being gay, lesbian transgender, bi is not, its apart of we are.
You can pick and choose if you want to be a swinger, so personally no we dont need to be tagged on to another acronym."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously this thread is made to try and rile up something
Being a swinger is a lifestyle choice, being gay, bisexual, trans, etc is not.
Even to this day, gay bisexual and trans people recieve abuse for being who they are. The majority on fab are transphobic.
If you think being a swinger is anything but a lifestyle choice then I suggest you get help for your sex addiction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"With it being about being proud of the body you was born into.why is it straight cannot be added to the list.
There is a straight pride flag and a straight ally one.
But let’s not forget that straight people haven’t feared for their lives because of their straightness. They haven’t had to live in the shadows for decades, and hide who they are for fear of being fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, etc just because of who they love. Being straight has never been something that people have cause to be hateful for. Being straight has never sent someone to prison. Being straight has never caused someone to be chemically castrated. Until straight people have been through the same hatred and discrimination that the queer community has been through, they will never know just how brave and important it is to stand up and wave a flag that says; “despite your hatred I am still proud of who I am!” Until then, waving a “straight pride” flag will continue to be a symbol of legitimacy for queer hatred, just like “white pride” is towards people of colour.
To all of the straight allies and friends of the queer community, we continually thank you for your love and support, and we love you back just as much!
I agree, please review my profile. However, being a swinger or a slut or a kinkster could result in much of the discomfort you mention. For many it's not a lifestyle choice but a compulsion, like sexual orientation and gender. Hidden for fear of reprisal. "
You need to go educate yourself. Start with the Stonewall riots. Read about AIDS. LGBT have been persecuted, murdered (inc by the state), denied healthcare, left to die in the AIDS crisis until straight people started dying, unable to marry those we love, unable to pass on pensions, intimidated and spat in in the street, not protected by the police (read about the Grindr killer) it goes on and on. Comparing thet someone might raise an eyebrow about swinging as deserving of joining this cause is just insulting. |
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I don't believe for a second that being a swinger is a choice.
Being non monogamous is not something a person will choose just for shits and giggles.
Most people live many years with an empty space inside them, many years of failing relationships and marriages, not knowing what's actually missing in their life because swinging is considered immoral and any decent, self respecting person would ever put themselves into immoral bracket by choice.
If swinging was so easy to choose - there would be less people categorically against it as they would have tried it by now.
You can't just flip some switch and make something into a sexual turn on for anyone.
Just the same way straight men don't find sex with gay men being a turn on, same way someone doesn't like pain, same way someone doesn't like oral... are things listed above a choice? Did those people just wake up one morning and decided they don't like it any more? No.
Although I wouldn't say swinging is some particular sexual orientation (you could probably put it somewhere around polyamory like a distant cousin), but sure as hell it is not a choice.
Only choice people have is weather they want to actually live their fantasy life or remain living with a feeling that something is missing and life is passing by.
Missus |
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"With it being about being proud of the body you was born into.why is it straight cannot be added to the list.
There is a straight pride flag and a straight ally one.
But let’s not forget that straight people haven’t feared for their lives because of their straightness. They haven’t had to live in the shadows for decades, and hide who they are for fear of being fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, etc just because of who they love. Being straight has never been something that people have cause to be hateful for. Being straight has never sent someone to prison. Being straight has never caused someone to be chemically castrated. Until straight people have been through the same hatred and discrimination that the queer community has been through, they will never know just how brave and important it is to stand up and wave a flag that says; “despite your hatred I am still proud of who I am!” Until then, waving a “straight pride” flag will continue to be a symbol of legitimacy for queer hatred, just like “white pride” is towards people of colour.
To all of the straight allies and friends of the queer community, we continually thank you for your love and support, and we love you back just as much!"
Well said  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe for a second that being a swinger is a choice.
Being non monogamous is not something a person will choose just for shits and giggles.
Most people live many years with an empty space inside them, many years of failing relationships and marriages, not knowing what's actually missing in their life because swinging is considered immoral and any decent, self respecting person would ever put themselves into immoral bracket by choice.
If swinging was so easy to choose - there would be less people categorically against it as they would have tried it by now.
You can't just flip some switch and make something into a sexual turn on for anyone.
Just the same way straight men don't find sex with gay men being a turn on, same way someone doesn't like pain, same way someone doesn't like oral... are things listed above a choice? Did those people just wake up one morning and decided they don't like it any more? No.
Although I wouldn't say swinging is some particular sexual orientation (you could probably put it somewhere around polyamory like a distant cousin), but sure as hell it is not a choice.
Only choice people have is weather they want to actually live their fantasy life or remain living with a feeling that something is missing and life is passing by.
Missus "
You're conflating sexuality and gender with kinks.
Swinging is a kink and a lifestyle choice. You develop kink preferences as life goes on. You are not born a swinger. You are born gay, bisexual, etc.
Some women prefer to only have sex with dominant men. Does this mean submissive women need representation too? Of course not.
This is a classic case of people who haven't been discriminted their whole lives trying to victimise themselves. |
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"I don't believe for a second that being a swinger is a choice.
Being non monogamous is not something a person will choose just for shits and giggles.
Most people live many years with an empty space inside them, many years of failing relationships and marriages, not knowing what's actually missing in their life because swinging is considered immoral and any decent, self respecting person would ever put themselves into immoral bracket by choice.
If swinging was so easy to choose - there would be less people categorically against it as they would have tried it by now.
You can't just flip some switch and make something into a sexual turn on for anyone.
Just the same way straight men don't find sex with gay men being a turn on, same way someone doesn't like pain, same way someone doesn't like oral... are things listed above a choice? Did those people just wake up one morning and decided they don't like it any more? No.
Although I wouldn't say swinging is some particular sexual orientation (you could probably put it somewhere around polyamory like a distant cousin), but sure as hell it is not a choice.
Only choice people have is weather they want to actually live their fantasy life or remain living with a feeling that something is missing and life is passing by.
Missus
You're conflating sexuality and gender with kinks.
Swinging is a kink and a lifestyle choice. You develop kink preferences as life goes on. You are not born a swinger. You are born gay, bisexual, etc.
Some women prefer to only have sex with dominant men. Does this mean submissive women need representation too? Of course not.
This is a classic case of people who haven't been discriminted their whole lives trying to victimise themselves."
Classic case of people online assuming that they know anything about someone's personal experiences.
I never said swinging or kinks need representation, I'm actually not into labeling everything in the world.
My point was about swinging not being a choice.
You can't just pick and choose what you're into (be it d/s, kink, swing, feet or golden showers) the same way you can't pick and choose weather you're gay or bi.
You only have a choice in weather you will ever act upon it or not.
Missus |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'You can't just pick and choose what you're into (be it d/s, kink, swing, feet or golden showers) the same way you can't pick and choose weather you're gay or bi.
You only have a choice in weather you will ever act upon it or not.'
I agree with you. If you cannot choose your innate attributes, and those attributes do not unduly harm, without explicit consent, another then surely you are all in solidarity.
You are all arguably discriminated against on the basis of some societal ideal; potentially put forward and maintained by a minority or even by outright hypocrites. |
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"With it being about being proud of the body you was born into.why is it straight cannot be added to the list.
There is a straight pride flag and a straight ally one.
But let’s not forget that straight people haven’t feared for their lives because of their straightness. They haven’t had to live in the shadows for decades, and hide who they are for fear of being fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, etc just because of who they love. Being straight has never been something that people have cause to be hateful for. Being straight has never sent someone to prison. Being straight has never caused someone to be chemically castrated. Until straight people have been through the same hatred and discrimination that the queer community has been through, they will never know just how brave and important it is to stand up and wave a flag that says; “despite your hatred I am still proud of who I am!” Until then, waving a “straight pride” flag will continue to be a symbol of legitimacy for queer hatred, just like “white pride” is towards people of colour.
To all of the straight allies and friends of the queer community, we continually thank you for your love and support, and we love you back just as much!"
But all those things have and will continue to happen to straight people as they can happen to anyone regardless of why. Getting fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, prison, castrated even has happened to straight people and in signigicant greater numbers since year dot ...
....never happened though for being straight I suspect is 100% right!!! I find what you said exactly what your standing against which is persecution and you don't hold a monitorium on bad things happening to people and right to wave a flag because their sexual orientation wasn't the cause |
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I think this craven need by everyone to be represented and recognised is a telling display of how entitled we are as a first world society.
I don't care if I don't have a particular and specific category to claim membership of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think this craven need by everyone to be represented and recognised is a telling display of how entitled we are as a first world society.
I don't care if I don't have a particular and specific category to claim membership of."
Nothing craven about needing to be represented and recognised. It’s not entitled either. |
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"I think this craven need by everyone to be represented and recognised is a telling display of how entitled we are as a first world society.
I don't care if I don't have a particular and specific category to claim membership of.
Nothing craven about needing to be represented and recognised. It’s not entitled either. "
I guess we just disagree. |
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"I think this craven need by everyone to be represented and recognised is a telling display of how entitled we are as a first world society.
I don't care if I don't have a particular and specific category to claim membership of."
But do you feel that way because you are already represented and recognised in the fact that straight, white, cisgendered men are already the dominating category? You don’t feel the need to be represented because the world is already perfectly geared towards you. It’s different when you’re on the outside of that. We can argue that the suffragette movement was an expression of women wanting to be recognised and represented, and that can be applied to any group of people who feel like they’re living life on the outside. If you’re not being included there will always be a point where you will stand up and say; “hang on a minute”.
It’s basically a question of equality, and something as basic as playground politics can explain it. If you’re already in the “cool kids” group, you don’t realise that there are people on the outside being ignored. If you’re on the outside, you try as hard as possible to be part of the “cool kid” group. Nobody wants to be left behind and ignored. |
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"With it being about being proud of the body you was born into.why is it straight cannot be added to the list.
There is a straight pride flag and a straight ally one.
But let’s not forget that straight people haven’t feared for their lives because of their straightness. They haven’t had to live in the shadows for decades, and hide who they are for fear of being fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, etc just because of who they love. Being straight has never been something that people have cause to be hateful for. Being straight has never sent someone to prison. Being straight has never caused someone to be chemically castrated. Until straight people have been through the same hatred and discrimination that the queer community has been through, they will never know just how brave and important it is to stand up and wave a flag that says; “despite your hatred I am still proud of who I am!” Until then, waving a “straight pride” flag will continue to be a symbol of legitimacy for queer hatred, just like “white pride” is towards people of colour.
To all of the straight allies and friends of the queer community, we continually thank you for your love and support, and we love you back just as much!
But all those things have and will continue to happen to straight people as they can happen to anyone regardless of why. Getting fired, getting beat up, being rejected by their families, killed by their peers, prison, castrated even has happened to straight people and in signigicant greater numbers since year dot ...
....never happened though for being straight I suspect is 100% right!!! I find what you said exactly what your standing against which is persecution and you don't hold a monitorium on bad things happening to people and right to wave a flag because their sexual orientation wasn't the cause"
I don’t understand what you’ve just written. Can we get an edit? |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss
Interesting question from a straight man. What’s your view?
I don't think it will ever happen, do you?
Why would it? What reason could there be since you ask?
I thought swingers would want to join in with the LGBTIQA+ crowd, show the world that they're proud of who they are...obviously not "
I think the swinging community already has most of those anyway. Personally I’m Bisexual and have friends who are Trans or identify as Queer. I’m quite sure the LGBTIQA+ community would be made most welcome if they aren’t already here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think this craven need by everyone to be represented and recognised is a telling display of how entitled we are as a first world society.
I don't care if I don't have a particular and specific category to claim membership of."
Totally agree!
Generation Narcissists.
Does everyone's heads in. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
The argument is becoming ridiculous. If you recognise polygamy do you also recognise monogamy?
Straight, monogamous couples are the majority and have not had to hide their relationship. It is also a very Western view of relationships and how people should live their lives.
Different cultures already embrace poly relationships but the Western world frowns upon such cultures.
I’ve often found the labelling within the Rainbow Community more divisive than anything else. People argue about the merits of including different groups.
We should be supporting each other regardless of sexuality, gender identify, lifestyle choices, kinks, fetishes, etc.
I’ve seen splits even within the fet community because not everyone likes or agrees with what someone else is doing. We are in danger of turning against each other. United we conquer, divided we fall! |
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"I think this craven need by everyone to be represented and recognised is a telling display of how entitled we are as a first world society.
I don't care if I don't have a particular and specific category to claim membership of.
But do you feel that way because you are already represented and recognised in the fact that straight, white, cisgendered men are already the dominating category? You don’t feel the need to be represented because the world is already perfectly geared towards you. It’s different when you’re on the outside of that. We can argue that the suffragette movement was an expression of women wanting to be recognised and represented, and that can be applied to any group of people who feel like they’re living life on the outside. If you’re not being included there will always be a point where you will stand up and say; “hang on a minute”.
It’s basically a question of equality, and something as basic as playground politics can explain it. If you’re already in the “cool kids” group, you don’t realise that there are people on the outside being ignored. If you’re on the outside, you try as hard as possible to be part of the “cool kid” group. Nobody wants to be left behind and ignored."
Leaving aside the attributes that position myself as included, there are plenty of categories where I'm utterly ignored or ridiculed by society, but stamping my feet and demanding the world pays attention to me because of this reeks of self involvement.
I'm not suggesting that fringe minorities should have less rights available to them than anyone else and equality is pretty much universal now across all meaningful strata.
It just shows how much time we have on our hands and how self obsessed we are as a species that we start dividing to ever smaller categories to find something to complain about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss "
I’m lost past the “T” |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss
I’m lost past the “T” "
Lets try this again with different formatting
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Queer/ questioning
Intersex
Asexual
+
(Some acronyms include Allies and Pansexual.)
And no, OP. The swinging scene is not always a safe space for queer, trans, and bisexual people. It’s not appropriate to welcome straight swingers under the rainbow umbrella. Doesn’t mean you have to live in the shadows, just organise your own parties and protests. |
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Swinger is not a sexual orientation or a gender identity, so isn't appropriate in the list. Obviously, people in these categories could be swingers, but equally they could be monogamous, or even celibate.
Perhaps there should be a Swingers Pride, swingers or poly people should be as open about their preference as monogamous people are. But, sad to say, I don't think all swingers are tolerant of LGBT etc. Why do there have to be special bi nights at clubs? |
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Many swingers are included already, though not because they swing. Others wouldn't need to join this amalgamation, just because some equivalent rights abuses were to happen, comparable to what the LGBTQ etc have suffered - and continue to suffer heavily in parts of the world. The Conservatives have just messed around with not outlawing conversion 'therapy' for transgender people in the UK  Personal interests are separate from more fundamental aspects of identity, that have caused lives to be terminated, ruined and prohibited etc. |
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Perhaps acknowledging the non-monogamous amongst us would be good, but I feel there's a large difference between ENM and swinging based on the level of emotional involvement. Too deep to go into here, but i think the casual element of swinging definitely makes it a choice rather than the fibre of your being.
And have to agree that sadly the scene can be quite a nasty place for LGBTQ+ folk. Lots of assumptions, division (not allowed to go to clubs on regular nights as the regulars dont want it - you have TGirl/Bi events) or just downright exclusion (I've seen more than one club actually say trans are not welcome apart from fetish events). Hoping changes that are coming to some clubs mean full inclusion for all, all the time! |
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By *al kalMan
over a year ago
london |
"Why do there have to be special bi nights at clubs?
Nice one, this should be good, I'm off to get more popcorn  "
For some reason it doesn’t come across as the most controversial question ever. But ok go enjoy your pop corn.
There are swingers who would be bi, and would also like to meet likeminded bi folk I imagine.
And some clubs are open to supporting and having a client base of bi customer, so seems appropriate to hold bi specific events no?
There are lots of different types of events for different need wants. So makes good business (as well as moral) sense to do so. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Why do there have to be special bi nights at clubs?
Nice one, this should be good, I'm off to get more popcorn
For some reason it doesn’t come across as the most controversial question ever. But ok go enjoy your pop corn.
There are swingers who would be bi, and would also like to meet likeminded bi folk I imagine.
And some clubs are open to supporting and having a client base of bi customer, so seems appropriate to hold bi specific events no?
There are lots of different types of events for different need wants. So makes good business (as well as moral) sense to do so."
Missing the point, love. Why isn’t every night bi night for men as well as women, if swingers are openminded and accepting? |
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"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss "
Seeing swinging isn't a sexual orientation, I wouldn't have thought so. |
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"I don't believe for a second that being a swinger is a choice.
Being non monogamous is not something a person will choose just for shits and giggles.
Most people live many years with an empty space inside them, many years of failing relationships and marriages, not knowing what's actually missing in their life because swinging is considered immoral and any decent, self respecting person would ever put themselves into immoral bracket by choice.
If swinging was so easy to choose - there would be less people categorically against it as they would have tried it by now.
You can't just flip some switch and make something into a sexual turn on for anyone.
Just the same way straight men don't find sex with gay men being a turn on, same way someone doesn't like pain, same way someone doesn't like oral... are things listed above a choice? Did those people just wake up one morning and decided they don't like it any more? No.
Although I wouldn't say swinging is some particular sexual orientation (you could probably put it somewhere around polyamory like a distant cousin), but sure as hell it is not a choice.
Only choice people have is weather they want to actually live their fantasy life or remain living with a feeling that something is missing and life is passing by.
Missus
You're conflating sexuality and gender with kinks.
Swinging is a kink and a lifestyle choice. You develop kink preferences as life goes on. You are not born a swinger. You are born gay, bisexual, etc.
Some women prefer to only have sex with dominant men. Does this mean submissive women need representation too? Of course not.
This is a classic case of people who haven't been discriminted their whole lives trying to victimise themselves."
Isn’t this similar to what was said and accepted in relation to homosexuality in times gone by… it’s a ‘kink’, it’s a choice to be gay etc.. that didn’t age well did it…
how silly these type of conversations can become…
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't believe for a second that being a swinger is a choice.
Being non monogamous is not something a person will choose just for shits and giggles.
Most people live many years with an empty space inside them, many years of failing relationships and marriages, not knowing what's actually missing in their life because swinging is considered immoral and any decent, self respecting person would ever put themselves into immoral bracket by choice.
If swinging was so easy to choose - there would be less people categorically against it as they would have tried it by now.
You can't just flip some switch and make something into a sexual turn on for anyone.
Just the same way straight men don't find sex with gay men being a turn on, same way someone doesn't like pain, same way someone doesn't like oral... are things listed above a choice? Did those people just wake up one morning and decided they don't like it any more? No.
Although I wouldn't say swinging is some particular sexual orientation (you could probably put it somewhere around polyamory like a distant cousin), but sure as hell it is not a choice.
Only choice people have is weather they want to actually live their fantasy life or remain living with a feeling that something is missing and life is passing by.
Missus
You're conflating sexuality and gender with kinks.
Swinging is a kink and a lifestyle choice. You develop kink preferences as life goes on. You are not born a swinger. You are born gay, bisexual, etc.
Some women prefer to only have sex with dominant men. Does this mean submissive women need representation too? Of course not.
This is a classic case of people who haven't been discriminted their whole lives trying to victimise themselves.
Isn’t this similar to what was said and accepted in relation to homosexuality in times gone by… it’s a ‘kink’, it’s a choice to be gay etc.. that didn’t age well did it…
how silly these type of conversations can become…
"
No, it's not similar at all.
People are born gay. It's part of who they are.
You are not born a swinger, and swinging isn't a sexuality nor is it a gender. Swinging is a lifestyle choice.
I'm happy to keep repeating this.
|
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"I don't believe for a second that being a swinger is a choice.
Being non monogamous is not something a person will choose just for shits and giggles.
Most people live many years with an empty space inside them, many years of failing relationships and marriages, not knowing what's actually missing in their life because swinging is considered immoral and any decent, self respecting person would ever put themselves into immoral bracket by choice.
If swinging was so easy to choose - there would be less people categorically against it as they would have tried it by now.
You can't just flip some switch and make something into a sexual turn on for anyone.
Just the same way straight men don't find sex with gay men being a turn on, same way someone doesn't like pain, same way someone doesn't like oral... are things listed above a choice? Did those people just wake up one morning and decided they don't like it any more? No.
Although I wouldn't say swinging is some particular sexual orientation (you could probably put it somewhere around polyamory like a distant cousin), but sure as hell it is not a choice.
Only choice people have is weather they want to actually live their fantasy life or remain living with a feeling that something is missing and life is passing by.
Missus
You're conflating sexuality and gender with kinks.
Swinging is a kink and a lifestyle choice. You develop kink preferences as life goes on. You are not born a swinger. You are born gay, bisexual, etc.
Some women prefer to only have sex with dominant men. Does this mean submissive women need representation too? Of course not.
This is a classic case of people who haven't been discriminted their whole lives trying to victimise themselves.
Isn’t this similar to what was said and accepted in relation to homosexuality in times gone by… it’s a ‘kink’, it’s a choice to be gay etc.. that didn’t age well did it…
how silly these type of conversations can become…
No, it's not similar at all.
People are born gay. It's part of who they are.
You are not born a swinger, and swinging isn't a sexuality nor is it a gender. Swinging is a lifestyle choice.
I'm happy to keep repeating this.
"
You're not born having sex with same sex either.
All kinks and fetishes aren't something you deliberately choose to like. It's something that is either in you or just isn't. You don't magically choose to love licking people's feet or being peed on, do you?
Only choice you have is weather you want to partake in things that turn you on or not. Same way some gay people choose to hide that they're gay and get involved in straight relationships.
I'm more than happy to keep repeating that too
Missus |
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"Does anyone think "Swinger" will ever be added to this ever-expanding acronym, or will swingers be forever hiding in the shadows? Discuss "
No, because swinging is not a sexuality, it is a lifestyle choice. I don’t choose to be bisexual, I just am. I choose a swinging lifestyle, though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You're not born having sex with same sex either.
All kinks and fetishes aren't something you deliberately choose to like. It's something that is either in you or just isn't. You don't magically choose to love licking people's feet or being peed on, do you?
Only choice you have is weather you want to partake in things that turn you on or not. Same way some gay people choose to hide that they're gay and get involved in straight relationships.
I'm more than happy to keep repeating that too
Missus "
Sexuality is defined at birth.
People are born straight.
People are born gay.
People are born bisexual.
People are not born swingers. |
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"
You're not born having sex with same sex either.
All kinks and fetishes aren't something you deliberately choose to like. It's something that is either in you or just isn't. You don't magically choose to love licking people's feet or being peed on, do you?
Only choice you have is weather you want to partake in things that turn you on or not. Same way some gay people choose to hide that they're gay and get involved in straight relationships.
I'm more than happy to keep repeating that too
Missus
Sexuality is defined at birth.
People are born straight.
People are born gay.
People are born bisexual.
People are not born swingers."
Not all people know 100% right from birth if they're gay, bi or straight.
Many people spend years discovering themselves and figuring out what is right for them.
It took me 27 years to realise that I wasn't bisexual.
While it took me only 17 years to figure out that I most definitely don't want to spend my life in a monogamous relationship.
Just because you don't understand something or haven't experienced it - doesn't mean that it's not real.
Missus |
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