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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, I'm going to go with my reply from a somewhat different angle. You met a girl online/in virtual world, not in the real world, when the madness of the lockdown descended. You were chatting, including Face Time, very often, but you still have not met in person. Basically, you were virtual life friends, with (at least in your opinion) a potential to become at least friends in real life. That's where my point is coming in: do you think you may have taken this virtual relationship a little bit too far? It is easily done, and I have to admit I have done it in the past, when I was less experience (less cynical probably, too). Unfortunately, the lockdown has changed a lot for people, how they look at life, how they look for partners etc. It brought the unpredictability of the future, where you have no idea when things would change, when, if ever, you'd be able to get on with your life like before. She chose someone she already knew in person, rather than risking it on someone she only knew in virtual world. As our personalities are different in the real world and in the virtual world. You might get on great with someone online and even on the phone, but once you meet, there may be no chemistry.
My advice: move on, try not to get your hopes up too much next time- yes,I know it's easier said than done.
Good luck, OP, and sorry for the essay  . |
I agree it would have been nicer of her to have mentioned she's still in contact with her ex or even considering him, if you were talking seriously she did blindside you. It's not really a surprise though that she chose the comfort of familiarity in a time like this when there is so much uncertainty about even basic stuff. However I would urge you to be careful of drawing conclusions about women, loyalty, being nice etc. from this. How does this script serve you other than make you bitter about women and/or sorry for yourself? IMO she picked wrong, she thinks she's playing it safe but what failed to ignite before is unlilely to serve well now. See, it's not really about you or what you did, it's about her own fears 
