This is a item for sale on ebay pmsl x
You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700
This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...
The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.
I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400...
As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...
Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's...
So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...
My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...
Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity...
I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault...
I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel's house...
After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell...
Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...
I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.
All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.
Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...
I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...
As an after thought...
There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...
The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...
So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...
Good Luck
These are the Q&A ppl asked too lol
Q: Best listing ever - hope you sell it, gets loads of money and have a totally brill night out 
A: I wouldn't call it the best listing ever - but it's certainly brought some happiness to a few people...
23 Sep, 2011
Q: Much easier to get a dog and cheaper plus frontline can handle the fleas pmsl
A: I had a dog look how that turned out... I think your advice needs some work... don't give up the day job...
23 Sep, 2011
Q: chap i just have to say that you have my sympathy as i know what its like. great write up, i hope you gets loads for it and you get totally wasted. big up me :0)
A: Buddy... glad you like the write up...adultery is a bitch... or should that be adultery is because she's a bitch ? hmmmm...
23 Sep, 2011
Q: Hi Dave, Sorry, I don't really need a SAT NAV but I just wanted to say good luck with the auction, and I hope you enjoy the night out, booze and (with any luck which seems to have eluded you so far with your choice of... Continue reading
A: Are you sure that you're sure that you don't need a SatNav... They're useful when they work...Mine don't but there's others that do...Is there such a thing as a nutritious curry ? tasty and delicious... Continue reading
23 Sep, 2011
Q: Hi Dave, i would like to wish u the very very best 4 the future. Gd luk mate xxx
A: I would like to wish me a lottery win... Euro millions tonight would do nicely... hey ho we all have dreams... or as I've had in recent years nightmares and dayhorses....
Happy Reading lol  |
Great!
