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Shy pervs
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"Anyone else have trouble confessing their interest in people here?
Might be asking for a friend... "
Not really. I (Luke) have difficulty getting some to notice that I'm telling them how much I like them. |
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Occasionally. However, I’ve learnt to bite the bullet and tell them. What have you got to lose.... nothing. Take the bull by the horns.
Example I did this recently and found out we’d mutually been admiring from afar for three months, but neither thought the other was on each other’s radar.
If you don’t say you’ll never know and you could be pleasantly surprised |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead."
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying. |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying. "
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive. |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
I don't tend to send messages unless part of a forum game or flirt for now. Sometimes shy, sometimes brazen sometimes discreet sometimes daft, sometimes deep or chatty.
It depends what mood I'm in.
Try that .. send them, but listen to your mood and try not to overthink. You've got nothing to lose! |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive. "
Yeah but...
Err... Yeah that's not happening   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive. "
In my experience they say it’s mutual then never hear back after  |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive.
Yeah but...
Err... Yeah that's not happening "
Oh Swing what am I going to do with you |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive.
In my experience they say it’s mutual then never hear back after "
After that initial it’s mutual do you keep the conversation going ? Even after the initial hello effort has to be made |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive.
Yeah but...
Err... Yeah that's not happening
Oh Swing what am I going to do with you "
Accept me and my hideous failings?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive.
In my experience they say it’s mutual then never hear back after
After that initial it’s mutual do you keep the conversation going ? Even after the initial hello effort has to be made"
I try to but if no reply I just leave it at that |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive.
Yeah but...
Err... Yeah that's not happening
Oh Swing what am I going to do with you
Accept me and my hideous failings? "
Of course. Not failings just different ways |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
Use the forum games if it’s a forum person. If not write a message to them, along the lines of something you’d like to receive.
In my experience they say it’s mutual then never hear back after
After that initial it’s mutual do you keep the conversation going ? Even after the initial hello effort has to be made
I try to but if no reply I just leave it at that "
Fair enough. Just don’t give up trying |
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yeah. In real life, always.
Here, not so much - there's something about being in the safety of my own bedroom, with the latitude to delete stuff, piece writing together at leisure as opposed to on the hoof in person.
But there's only so much to go on with online profiles. I see "no one sentence messages please", and I agree, but if you don't know anything about a person, it's difficult striking up momentum in conversation
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying. "
You've met 157 people, don't think you can get away with coming across as a shy wallflower |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else have trouble confessing their interest in people here?
Might be asking for a friend... "
Always and even at SX I do even when I get indications they may be interested. I'm definitely a bit shy lol |
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"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
You've met 157 people, don't think you can get away with coming across as a shy wallflower "
And I initially approached... ooh, about none of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else have trouble confessing their interest in people here?
Might be asking for a friend...
Not at all! Like in a club; if the single guy doesn't make the first move, nothing happens  "
For some of us, if the single guy does make the the first move nothing happens. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Tbh, if I had to rely on getting over my own anxiety and approaching people... I'd probably still be a virgin "
Just drop them a friend request, a zillion blokes can’t be wrong after all!
Can they?
Or just send a Hello or a wink or something along the lines that you would be happy to receive?
x
Good luck
S&H |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Naahhhh what is there to be shy/worried about?
What is the worst that can happen....they block you...so what.
Be pro active and let people know...you never know where it may lead.
No damn idea how to do it, never learned, idea is terrifying.
You've met 157 people, don't think you can get away with coming across as a shy wallflower
And I initially approached... ooh, about none of them "
Well make 2020 your year to start. Go after what you want in life. Go for it girl |
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I always do the looking to be truly honest...I look at people who clearly are looking at me...they are, as has been said, interested but maybe don't know what to say for fear of failing...
Then I do the initial message x |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
Yeah, I'm extremely shy initially and find it very difficult to bring myself to message women out of the blue - even sending a wink.
I'm fine once I get to know someone and, in fact, I'm totally uninhibited and don't shy away from any subject at all... it's just getting over that first hurdle that's hard. |
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"Anyone else have trouble confessing their interest in people here?
Might be asking for a friend... "
(Ray)
Nope lol unfortunately I have zero filter and I've never put much weight behind what others think of me ! Not in a nasty or horrible way I mean I'd never say anything derogatory or to emotionally hurt someone but if I think "I'd like to try that or this" then I say it what's the worse that can happen ? They say No.
To many people theses days don't say what they think and end up with regrets, just do it pal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes though the rare time il just go for it ,next year if I fancy a guy I'm just going to bite the bullet and tell him the worst that can happen is he ignores me blocks me or just says no ,atleast il know |
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"Yes though the rare time il just go for it ,next year if I fancy a guy I'm just going to bite the bullet and tell him the worst that can happen is he ignores me blocks me or just says no ,atleast il know"
Precisely this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You would think it'd be obvious for woman chatting to men, if we're chatting, we're interested  "
Not necessarily. I talk to people I'm not interested in, on those occasions when I get to talk to someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met people at Club SX that when looking at their profile here prior going off the forum post for the event aren't looking for girls like me.
So when I meet them I'm not sure so don't ask. Despite the fact quite a few are. Just takes a while before both show a mutual interest.
Also I mostly look for women and couples so maybe bit more difficult finding who is interested x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I don’t have a problem confessing interest. But I do have a problem turning potential into actual. I have found sometimes I confess sexual interest too early and it seems to do me no favours. Others In probably not forward enough with or proactive enough and any spark there might have been dies. The other thing I’m very successful at is turning sexual friendship into a platonic friendship.
I might get it right someday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I don’t have a problem confessing interest. But I do have a problem turning potential into actual. I have found sometimes I confess sexual interest too early and it seems to do me no favours. Others In probably not forward enough with or proactive enough and any spark there might have been dies. The other thing I’m very successful at is turning sexual friendship into a platonic friendship.
I might get it right someday "
Sexual potential into platonic friendship |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"No I don’t have a problem confessing interest. But I do have a problem turning potential into actual. I have found sometimes I confess sexual interest too early and it seems to do me no favours. Others In probably not forward enough with or proactive enough and any spark there might have been dies. The other thing I’m very successful at is turning sexual friendship into a platonic friendship.
I might get it right someday
Sexual potential into platonic friendship "
I'm the champion of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I don’t have a problem confessing interest. But I do have a problem turning potential into actual. I have found sometimes I confess sexual interest too early and it seems to do me no favours. Others In probably not forward enough with or proactive enough and any spark there might have been dies. The other thing I’m very successful at is turning sexual friendship into a platonic friendship.
I might get it right someday
Sexual potential into platonic friendship
I'm the champion of this. "
I dunno about Champion but I’m really shit at turning potential to actual. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Southern Wales |
"No. I don't see how the internet works for meeting people if you're shy about it.
It obviously does, because here I am, meeting people. "
Likewise. I’m just not proactive about it. My profile (when visible) is my party invite and the people who message me are those RSVP’ing - and i take it from there.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. I don't see how the internet works for meeting people if you're shy about it.
It obviously does, because here I am, meeting people.
Great. "
so what's the issue then? |
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I’m not shy about messaging people who grab my attention, but I am shy about expressing sexual interest in those people. I often find myself enjoying a conversation with someone about a completely unrelated topic and then struggle to say, ‘I fancy you’.
Ailsa, on the rare occasion she messages, has no such qualms. But in real life she is louder and more forthright than I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah. Sometimes I'll see a profile that I like and I'll just come up blank. There's things in the profile for me to use in my message, but the words don't come and if I'm the wrong frame of mind I just think ''they're not gonna message back anyway, I'm just wasting my time''.
I'd honestly prefer someone to just message me first, even if it's just a simple question. I'll always put the effort in regardless of who sends the first message, it's just that if I have to send the first message and I'm struggling to think of what to say, I just won't bother. |
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea 
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step "
But when a shy guy sees a lady that looks as amazing as you he'll become even more shy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step "
Yes I’m gonna be a big boy and make the step |
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step
Yes I’m gonna be a big boy and make the step "
Look forward to seeing your name on the thread tomorrow and hope it works out for you |
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step
But when a shy guy sees a lady that looks as amazing as you he'll become even more shy. "
I’m not amazing, just a normal lass with a squidgy body and definitely nothing to be scared of |
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step
But when a shy guy sees a lady that looks as amazing as you he'll become even more shy.
I’m not amazing, just a normal lass with a squidgy body and definitely nothing to be scared of "
My kind of lady |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"Yes, most definitely. I only confess if the other person has expressed interest first
But they could be as shy as you... take the plunge. You’ve nothing to lose "
Self-esteem issues!!! Easier said than done taking the plunge |
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"Yes, most definitely. I only confess if the other person has expressed interest first
But they could be as shy as you... take the plunge. You’ve nothing to lose
Self-esteem issues!!! Easier said than done taking the plunge "
I can understand this, been there. However, you are a gorgeous lady. I know it’s easier said than done, takes a lot of courage Deep breath, and take that plunge xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, most definitely. I only confess if the other person has expressed interest first
But they could be as shy as you... take the plunge. You’ve nothing to lose
Self-esteem issues!!! Easier said than done taking the plunge
I can understand this, been there. However, you are a gorgeous lady. I know it’s easier said than done, takes a lot of courage Deep breath, and take that plunge xx "
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"Yes, most definitely. I only confess if the other person has expressed interest first
But they could be as shy as you... take the plunge. You’ve nothing to lose
Self-esteem issues!!! Easier said than done taking the plunge
I can understand this, been there. However, you are a gorgeous lady. I know it’s easier said than done, takes a lot of courage Deep breath, and take that plunge xx "
thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, most definitely. I only confess if the other person has expressed interest first
But they could be as shy as you... take the plunge. You’ve nothing to lose
Self-esteem issues!!! Easier said than done taking the plunge "
Something many people refuse to understand. |
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I find it fairly difficult to walk up and say hello to people I don't know at all, though getting better at it in the context of social parties and clubs where there is at least a reasonable chance that others are there in order to meet people.
From there i seem to be good at making friends, but poor at getting the situation around to sex. Though it's not easy trying to explain the concept that I'm a trans lesbian who likes women, and my default is to assume that 99.9% of women just are not going to want sex with me. |
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By *homo027Man
over a year ago
North Shields |
"If just one of you lovely ladies sent a message to any guy you liked I'm sure he'd soon get over his shyness
Stop white knighting
I can't help it.
I'm a hopeless romantic "
You're not wrong though, I know if a girl approached me first that would give me all the confidence in the world |
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step "
For those that said they would feel brave, nows your chance
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/962943#message_21965972
|
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step
For those that said they would feel brave, nows your chance
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/962943#message_21965972
"
Hi |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
Where would you like me? |
"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step
For those that said they would feel brave, nows your chance
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/962943#message_21965972
"
I can't take part, it's not the new year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Occasionally. However, I’ve learnt to bite the bullet and tell them. What have you got to lose.... nothing. Take the bull by the horns.
Example I did this recently and found out we’d mutually been admiring from afar for three months, but neither thought the other was on each other’s radar.
If you don’t say you’ll never know and you could be pleasantly surprised "
This sums it up perfectly for me. |
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"For all you shy ones, I’m starting a thread for you all tomorrow, take your chance and take that first step
Good idea
I can only do so much, people still need to take that step
For those that said they would feel brave, nows your chance
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/962943#message_21965972
I can't take part, it's not the new year."
Im sure someone will run something similar come January |
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"I find it fairly difficult to walk up and say hello to people I don't know at all, though getting better at it in the context of social parties and clubs where there is at least a reasonable chance that others are there in order to meet people.
From there i seem to be good at making friends, but poor at getting the situation around to sex. Though it's not easy trying to explain the concept that I'm a trans lesbian who likes women, and my default is to assume that 99.9% of women just are not going to want sex with me."
Apart from the fact I'm a cis bi woman... Yup. I could have written that. |
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