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One for the male half of couples
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Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single, I have never EVER told a bloke to fuck off in the chat rooms in any context......Particularly not the male of a couple.
It can be a bit embarasing when seeing cpls (and I am sure I have done it to you m8) when saying hello xx to find its the male half.....I usualy make a joke n try to have a convo with the chap.
I can imagine it could get very frustrating for you though.... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
you have to make it about BOTH of you... and if any person makes you feel like it all about one person.. give them the "spanish archer"
simple as that... if that means changing your approach, your attitude, your complete mindset in swinging then it has to change...
in the end of the day, and this is going to sound a lot harsher than it is intended to be.... only you BOTH can change that.....
don't put up with anything you don't want to...... |
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"As a single, I have never EVER told a bloke to fuck off in the chat rooms in any context......Particularly not the male of a couple.
It can be a bit embarasing when seeing cpls (and I am sure I have done it to you m8) when saying hello xx to find its the male half.....I usualy make a joke n try to have a convo with the chap.
I can imagine it could get very frustrating for you though...."
It's actually the fem half posting this but I've noticed it with MrShields. I know it's frustrating for him as I'm the one getting the attention. He was very successful as a single male and had plenty of meets but since joining up with me, only couples want to play and they seem more interested in me - or it's the single males. Just wanted to know if he was the only one feeling like this. |
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I do feel in the chatrooms i get ignored soon as they no its me and not her sometimes, but it mostly from the single guys. We only play as a cpl and if either of us is uncomfortable with the dinamic then it dont happen so play wise no i dont feel i'm left out, not that we get many offers to play that is. |
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"As a single, I have never EVER told a bloke to fuck off in the chat rooms in any context......Particularly not the male of a couple.
It can be a bit embarasing when seeing cpls (and I am sure I have done it to you m8) when saying hello xx to find its the male half.....I usualy make a joke n try to have a convo with the chap.
I can imagine it could get very frustrating for you though....
It's actually the fem half posting this but I've noticed it with MrShields. I know it's frustrating for him as I'm the one getting the attention. He was very successful as a single male and had plenty of meets but since joining up with me, only couples want to play and they seem more interested in me - or it's the single males. Just wanted to know if he was the only one feeling like this."
Found this the same hun but the other way round, scarlet used to get meets as a single but now we are a cpl they far and few between. Feel like a lepper tbh  |
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i have felt left out on occasion, particularly recently when we had had sex, the other couple were still going, and Em asked for a drink.
i got one, came back and they were all hugging in close. couldnt help but feel left out, with a slight pang of jelousy thrown in lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Meets no, if we feel like anyone is 'taking one for the team' then it doesn't happen.
Chatroom, yes. The usual is that the bloke gets ignored until the female half appears and then 99% of the blokes are suddenly your best mate! Doesn't bother me though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry I'm a woman but I know that my OH won't post so can I please say something little and quick 
We play with single guys at times and we both feel its very respectful to talk to both of us. If a message received blatently excludes him we won't meet. My OH tends to be the one answering messages and if we get a 'oh its you, we wanted Feebs' then we don't continue.
We also like it when the guy checks its ok with my OH to touch me. Now some might say that its my body and its up to me who I allow to touch me, and that's correct, but its nice to hear a guy say to my OH 'is it ok to touch her'. I feel its more a respect thing than a permission thing, shows that the guy understands that as a couple he is sharing a part of our sex life.
Its odd to note though that in clubs women who touch him don't tend to say that to me. Sorry if it sounds like I'm expecting to be asked and give permission, but it would be nice if a woman offered me a similar respect.
When playing with couples I always check with the woman if its ok to play with her hubby. Not after every little sex act as that would be annoying, but at the start of any mixed play ill say, is it ok and then if we all decide to swap fully then before any penetrative sex ill just say 'are you ok'. Its such a simple quick thing but I feel its important.
Both of you never should feel left out as that's when discontentment sets in.
Oh and you know when I said I was just gonna say a little and quick thing - well I lied  |
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"Sorry I'm a woman but I know that my OH won't post so can I please say something little and quick
We play with single guys at times and we both feel its very respectful to talk to both of us. If a message received blatently excludes him we won't meet. My OH tends to be the one answering messages and if we get a 'oh its you, we wanted Feebs' then we don't continue.
We also like it when the guy checks its ok with my OH to touch me. Now some might say that its my body and its up to me who I allow to touch me, and that's correct, but its nice to hear a guy say to my OH 'is it ok to touch her'. I feel its more a respect thing than a permission thing, shows that the guy understands that as a couple he is sharing a part of our sex life.
Its odd to note though that in clubs women who touch him don't tend to say that to me. Sorry if it sounds like I'm expecting to be asked and give permission, but it would be nice if a woman offered me a similar respect.
When playing with couples I always check with the woman if its ok to play with her hubby. Not after every little sex act as that would be annoying, but at the start of any mixed play ill say, is it ok and then if we all decide to swap fully then before any penetrative sex ill just say 'are you ok'. Its such a simple quick thing but I feel its important.
Both of you never should feel left out as that's when discontentment sets in.
Oh and you know when I said I was just gonna say a little and quick thing - well I lied "
God Iconic - hate to see length of post if it wasn't a little and quick thing lol.
I think that what we need to do is rethink how we present ourselves and react to things. We were both singles until about the middle of last year and so we need to change our mindset about being a couple and how different that is to being a single. Just need to figure out how now. Thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't cam, so can't comment on that aspect. As for meets, we would never let a situation develop where one of us feels left out or neglected. If it looked like it was going that way, we'd stop immediately. We're in it together or not at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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drives me batty the ammount of guys that treat me as a single and don't respect the fact we are a couple although needles to say they never make it to the meet stage
there are many out there though that are very respectful of the male half so just keep plodding on you'll find a few along the way
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it?"
Never been in the chatrooms, however, during personal messaging had a couple of guys in the past not bother replying and when asked why they reply along the lines of 'well, when I realised it was you I couldnt see the point'. Now, when talking to single guys I do appreciate the more respectful guys who are willing to chat and have a few laughs - if it was me I would be thinking that surely it was a way of cementing a meet? Understand fully the OH will be the focus, obviously, but guys should remember the opinion of the male half of a couple goes along way! If we dont get on we wont be meeting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it?"
you have just described everything i love about this lifestyle,altho i am a cuckold |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We never meet anyone who gives it the girls can play then the men can join in, we meet to have fun together.
and to be honest I would rather see nicky getting fucked off a man than fannying around with a woman!!
I dont give 2 hoots if single fellas only wanna meet to get there hands on nicky, after all thats what we meet them for lol,
~We only meet couples that full swap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single, I have never EVER told a bloke to fuck off in the chat rooms in any context......Particularly not the male of a couple.
It can be a bit embarasing when seeing cpls (and I am sure I have done it to you m8) when saying hello xx to find its the male half.....I usualy make a joke n try to have a convo with the chap.
I can imagine it could get very frustrating for you though....
It's actually the fem half posting this but I've noticed it with MrShields. I know it's frustrating for him as I'm the one getting the attention. He was very successful as a single male and had plenty of meets but since joining up with me, only couples want to play and they seem more interested in me - or it's the single males. Just wanted to know if he was the only one feeling like this."
That's how it is with us too. I was a very successful single male swinger but since I've been with Siren all we get is couples emailing us wanting to meet but the emphasis is usually on Siren. Single guys are single guys and although we don't mind them contacting us, we won't entertain anyone who completely ignores me (Wishy). On the whole though they've been more than polite and recognise that they can't get to her without going through me (not literally, unless they're bi too lol).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We never meet anyone who gives it the girls can play then the men can join in, we meet to have fun together.
and to be honest I would rather see nicky getting fucked off a man than fannying around with a woman!!
I dont give 2 hoots if single fellas only wanna meet to get there hands on nicky, after all thats what we meet them for lol,
~We only meet couples that full swap. "
Ditto.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We never meet anyone who gives it the girls can play then the men can join in, we meet to have fun together.
and to be honest I would rather see nicky getting fucked off a man than fannying around with a woman!!
I dont give 2 hoots if single fellas only wanna meet to get there hands on nicky, after all thats what we meet them for lol,
~We only meet couples that full swap.
Ditto. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing we have found is that cpls profiles tend to leave pics of the bloke out. We both want to know if there is a mutual attraction for both parties. Its great seeing a gorgeous female but G wants to know what the guy looks like.
PS Our profile is hidden at the moment due to my working abroad, back Apr 12 all going well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single, I have never EVER told a bloke to fuck off in the chat rooms in any context......Particularly not the male of a couple.
It can be a bit embarasing when seeing cpls (and I am sure I have done it to you m8) when saying hello xx to find its the male half.....I usualy make a joke n try to have a convo with the chap.
I can imagine it could get very frustrating for you though....
It's actually the fem half posting this but I've noticed it with MrShields. I know it's frustrating for him as I'm the one getting the attention. He was very successful as a single male and had plenty of meets but since joining up with me, only couples want to play and they seem more interested in me - or it's the single males. Just wanted to know if he was the only one feeling like this.
Found this the same hun but the other way round, scarlet used to get meets as a single but now we are a cpl they far and few between. Feel like a lepper tbh "
We have had a similar experience. Both of us played a lot as singles, but as soon as we started swinging as a couple, the opportunity dried up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it?
you have just described everything i love about this lifestyle,altho i am a cuckold"
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it?"
nope, we have found that it goes in phases, some of the time K seems to get all of the attention and at other times I do. Over time it seems to balance out. |
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"We never meet anyone who gives it the girls can play then the men can join in, we meet to have fun together.
and to be honest I would rather see nicky getting fucked off a man than fannying around with a woman!!
I dont give 2 hoots if single fellas only wanna meet to get there hands on nicky, after all thats what we meet them for lol,
~We only meet couples that full swap.
Ditto. "
+1 |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Maybe people tend to talk to the woman and ignore the guy because of the number of couples profiles where the pics are mainly of the woman, with a 'token' pic of the guy or the couple together?
Or the profile is all about ff fun with the guys watching and joining in with their own partner, ie the focus is all on the women
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"Maybe people tend to talk to the woman and ignore the guy because of the number of couples profiles where the pics are mainly of the woman, with a 'token' pic of the guy or the couple together?
Or the profile is all about ff fun with the guys watching and joining in with their own partner, ie the focus is all on the women
"
That's been mentioned before and Im gonna take more pics of the mr to add to the account, have also limited number of fem on fem pics in public. Just that i've had more pics taken of me. I know where you're coming from though. We're gonna have a rethink on our profiles too, maybe change some of the wording to give a better idea of what we are actually looking for which is a mutual attraction of both people in the profile. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Maybe people tend to talk to the woman and ignore the guy because of the number of couples profiles where the pics are mainly of the woman, with a 'token' pic of the guy or the couple together?
Or the profile is all about ff fun with the guys watching and joining in with their own partner, ie the focus is all on the women
That's been mentioned before and Im gonna take more pics of the mr to add to the account, have also limited number of fem on fem pics in public. Just that i've had more pics taken of me. I know where you're coming from though. We're gonna have a rethink on our profiles too, maybe change some of the wording to give a better idea of what we are actually looking for which is a mutual attraction of both people in the profile."
To be honest I hadnt looked at your profile, was really just a general comment about the focus on women. My experience is getting contacted by couples, and then when I look at the profile there are no pics of the guy, or just the one |
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it used to bother me (t) years ago when we met ppl and if on chatrooms you get am i talking to the fem, or if meet ppl they never included us both in the convo , even now after years we meet a single guy if he dont bother to talk to me (G) just makes her own mind up and wont bother to play , we know ppl after 10 years who dont bother us even meeting at clubs or socials because she knocked them back , they talk behind ya back cause rumours thing is your good freinds tell you , end of day dont let them bother you march on and fuck them (well not literally) |
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"Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it?"
Nope, cant say its ever happened.
I dare say that one or two of the couples or single males that have contacted us have had this type of attitude, but touch wood we havent arranged meets with them, guess its all down to your selection process? |
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to avoid this situation is why we meet for drinks first.
a getting to know you session.
if i am ignored over a pub table, im damn sure i will be in the bedroom, and we both take the decision to walk away, however, we have yet to find people are this ignorant (and, tbf, seeings as its me that does most of the messaging on here, then its almost impossible for people to ignore me lol) |
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"
Nope, cant say its ever happened.
I dare say that one or two of the couples or single males that have contacted us have had this type of attitude, but touch wood we havent arranged meets with them, guess its all down to your selection process?"
We've not actually met many people yet but just found it in the chat rooms and the messages we've been getting. Luckily the meet we have had has been a mutual attraction as the couple have been known to mrshields before we became a couple. Don't get me wrong there are respectful people out there and we have couples and single males as friends but most are friends rather than meet prospects. I just wondered if this was a common problem or if we were attracting the wrong sort of people. That sounds wrong as it could alienate some of the people who have contacted us that are genuine in wanting mrshields as much as me. aaaarrrgggghhh deep breaths  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it used to bother me (t) years ago when we met ppl and if on chatrooms you get am i talking to the fem, or if meet ppl they never included us both in the convo , even now after years we meet a single guy if he dont bother to talk to me (G) just makes her own mind up and wont bother to play , we know ppl after 10 years who dont bother us even meeting at clubs or socials because she knocked them back , they talk behind ya back cause rumours thing is your good freinds tell you , end of day dont let them bother you march on and fuck them (well not literally) "
Just because ya don't shag em, don't mean they have to be like that with ya - just childish of em.
We do the same thing if either of us catches whiff of that sort of thing happening. Doesn't matter which way round it is...
Wolf
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"it used to bother me (t) years ago when we met ppl and if on chatrooms you get am i talking to the fem, or if meet ppl they never included us both in the convo , even now after years we meet a single guy if he dont bother to talk to me (G) just makes her own mind up and wont bother to play , we know ppl after 10 years who dont bother us even meeting at clubs or socials because she knocked them back , they talk behind ya back cause rumours thing is your good freinds tell you , end of day dont let them bother you march on and fuck them (well not literally)
Just because ya don't shag em, don't mean they have to be like that with ya - just childish of em.
We do the same thing if either of us catches whiff of that sort of thing happening. Doesn't matter which way round it is...
Wolf
"
agree aye. thing is we didnt do full swap years ago and most our freinds did and a few maybe we got to freindly with if ya get me jist and didnt ever fancy taking that bit further when we did go on to doing full , but to the origanal poster do what you feel right not what other ppl want you to be if the vibes aint right dont let them get under your skin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aye I get what ya mean
But we play separately anyway the only time we play together is with single bi males ( and somtimes she don't get a look in)
But if we are at clubs and the male dosent acknowlege me at all conversation wise then guess what? He don't play
Some single males really do act like complete pratts and have no idea at all about swinging etiquette they just think with their cocks
I always have and always will respected the females partner
My partner has actually been asked a few times "what you doing with him?"
Lol ya gotta be totally stupid to ask that one but some are xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it?"
got to be totally honest. not one of those things has ever happened to us..
so no |
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A big thanks to all the posters
who have taken the time to reply to my partners thread.
It does make me feel a lot better to find that I`m not alone in feeling this way.
We are spending an evening having a close look at our profiles and how we come across in the chat rooms.
hope fully we will get a better style of messages
mr shields xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing we have found is that cpls profiles tend to leave pics of the bloke out. We both want to know if there is a mutual attraction for both parties. Its great seeing a gorgeous female but G wants to know what the guy looks like.
PS Our profile is hidden at the moment due to my working abroad, back Apr 12 all going well."
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"Does the male half of a couple ever feel left out? That he is just a spare part - there to take the woman to a meet. Accepted in the play area simply because the other party want the woman? Do they get fed up of going into chat rooms to either be ignored totally, told to 'fuck off, we're only interested in ur missus' or people watch your cam because they can see your partner as well? That the missus gets all the attention on cam. That when other couples arrange meets they say to you, 'us girls will play while you watch and then you can join in'? Is this common and how do you feel about it?"
kev says no, if he wanted a great fuck he would stay at home with me, i am far better to look at on cam, and one of his greatest pleasures is watching me come...
To him me having pleasure brings him pleasure...simples
As for giving the women time and space to play...thats just respect in our book...sometime u want lady love, not cock.  |
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"Aye I get what ya mean
But we play separately anyway the only time we play together is with single bi males ( and somtimes she don't get a look in)
But if we are at clubs and the male dosent acknowlege me at all conversation wise then guess what? He don't play
Some single males really do act like complete pratts and have no idea at all about swinging etiquette they just think with their cocks
I always have and always will respected the females partner
My partner has actually been asked a few times "what you doing with him?"
Lol ya gotta be totally stupid to ask that one but some are xx"
had that too.  |
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