FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bullying
Bullying
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Our son is unable to go down the the local village or local park because there's about 14 kids down there that keep bullying him.
Anything from name calling to getting physical. Sadley it's mainly girls and a few boys.
We don't really know what to do to stop this. Has anyone got any ideas? Most of them are always in trouble with the police, for some reason the police are powerless against these teens...
Going to see the parents is a waste of time as this has been tried and the parents do NOT give a sh*t about what they are upto...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Harrassment and Assault.
The police will take it seriously.
The police are not powerless there musn't have been any laws broken or at least non reported. Maybe by people who don't see the point.
Teens are teens and they are noisy show offs. I don't like passing most of them but I don't think there is a law against laughing , shouting and leaping about as yet.
It may be stopped. It may mean the bullies just wait and get your son at a later date.
Go to the police and ask that the kids parents are spoken to.
In all fairness without evidence there may not be much they can do. It's your sons word against theirs.
He doesn't have marks from a beating does he ? That would be evidence. A hospital visit to see to the injuries would be evidence.
Don't let your son go down there. If you do - knowing what you have just said - you are letting him walk into danger.
If you think he should go down there because we mustn't give in to bullies fine but then it can't really be that bad can it?
Have you ever been down there with him?
Is he on his own or with another gang of kids who call names and shove back ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I really wished having read this post that I could offer some useful advice, but I have no idea, sorry. I was bullied as a child too.
All I would try to explain to your son is that it is their failing (the other children) not his, and that they aren't worth hanging out with anyway. Hopefully he has some real friends who he can interact with in other locations xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
It depends if either of you wish to but if one or both of you can be assertive enough without being confrontational.
Go down someday to the shops with your Son, ask him to avoid eye contact but keep his head held high, pass them and ignore anything as hard as that sounds.
The next time either one or both Parents go down and have a chat, appeal to their nicer nature, not all but some may listen and even if the penny don,t drop those amongst them may divide and see sense ... If of course they have a nicer nature or sense.
At least then you have given them some 'respect' and not at this stage involved the dibble.
I'd be confident personally of suggesting that my Son is of no threat to them, he means them no wrong but is not their to be spoken down to nor bullied, he doesn,t deserve that.
If they pretty much to you to feck off remind them that you hope nobody should have to encounter this and if they have younger Brothers/Sisters you would hoped they would understand the situation of him being sad.
We really hope it's just a phase and it get's sorted asap with as little drama as possible. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
That's a possibility. It does however assume that the 'teens' have reached a developmental stage and/or had life experiences which enable them to empathise with what you're saying.
I'm pretty sure that the 'teens' will be reasonable and not think the 'bullied' a complete wuss for bringin in his mum and dad.
R.I.P Gary Newlove |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day ,
go for the ring leader and give them all you've got .
once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me .
this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing .
unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids .
pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self .
i hate bulleys |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for your advise.
It's been going on for 4 years now, like we say parents do nothing and seem not to care.
He doesn't try to hang out with any of these kids, infact he rarely goes to the village.
Alot of the problem is he's ginger hair and also has Asperger syndrome so i spose they might see him as different.
Although he doesn't have a bad bone in his body.
Talking to these kids is as good as talking to a wall...
I wreckon he'd be better keeping clear from them. Or as sad as it sounds let him take a smack or two from them then seek help from the police.. Although like any parent we don't want him to get hurt..
Anyway thanks for your advise... kids who'd have'em. lol... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day ,
go for the ring leader and give them all you've got .
once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me .
this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing .
unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids .
pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self .
i hate bulleys"
Yeah i have told him to go for the ring leader, and if they all get him again, go back and get the ring leader again and same each and every time until the ring leader has had enough and tells them to back off.. The problem is they are never alone, they're always in groups of 4+ and the thing is our lad is just so soft in his nature i don't think he's got it in him... I wish i was 15 again...! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Get your boy down to your local judo/karate centre and teach him to fend for himself. I'm not saying that agression is the answer but once it becomes known around that he can look after himself nobody will try it on with him, and if one is brave enough to have a go he can make a quick example of him. He'll be left alone from that point on, I assure you.
Forget all this namby pampy treat them with kid gloves go round to their parents house etc, it's all wishy washy liberal bollocks, a kid has to stand up for himself or he becomes a target as children have a pack mentality and always go for the weakest to elevate their own standing in the wider group. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can only speak from past experience with one of my sons who had to change schools due to an area move and he suffered the same problems on the school bus.
He did tell me about what was happening and i asked if he wanted me to deal with the matter through school.
0f course he didnt and i have to say that one day the worm turned so to speak and whilst i did not approve the main culprit ended up with a very bloody nose from my son.
I never heard a word about it from the other parent or school but one day he snapped and fought back.
Good luck - so hard to see your children suffer i hope it works out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Does he actually want to go to the park and hang out down the village on his own?
Is he happier being a bit of a loner?
Do you really want him to fit in with these other kids and become 'one of them'.... does he want to be 'one of them'? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Get your boy down to your local judo/karate centre and teach him to fend for himself. I'm not saying that agression is the answer but once it becomes known around that he can look after himself nobody will try it on with him, and if one is brave enough to have a go he can make a quick example of him. He'll be left alone from that point on, I assure you.
Forget all this namby pampy treat them with kid gloves go round to their parents house etc, it's all wishy washy liberal bollocks, a kid has to stand up for himself or he becomes a target as children have a pack mentality and always go for the weakest to elevate their own standing in the wider group."
well said xxx I think you must have come across this before xxx I would go to the parents .. I should find out where thay lived or pick up at school and tell them what there kids are up too .. as it has to stop ... things like this can play on a childs mind for years and years and thay can end up being victim ... has to STOP. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Does he actually want to go to the park and hang out down the village on his own?
Is he happier being a bit of a loner?
Do you really want him to fit in with these other kids and become 'one of them'.... does he want to be 'one of them'?"
No he doesn't want to go on his own but when he has a friend over he'd like to feel he can go out and about, plus if he wants to go to the shop it's the only one close to us. We DO NOT want him to hangout/fit in with them and he doesn't either. All he wants is to be able to go to these places without fear..
He's happy to be a loner and does enjoy his own company. But still it's a sad world when idiots can't leave him alone..
Again thanks to everyone that put there views over.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Bullies usually only act the big shot in a crowd/gang.
What has worked for me in my teen years AND at work believe it or not, is wait until the one issuing the threats and violence is on their own or wait until you see them out on their own and YOU give the bullying piece of shit a hiding, after the hiding just explain that every time your son gets bullied you will single them out each and every time it happens whether its them or not and its in their interest to make sure it doesn't happen as each beating will get worse than the last.
Only do this as a last resort.
Only do this to the instigator.
It will give them a sense of bullying and they may fetch mummy and daddy and then explain your sons situation and lack of protection against the way he is being bullied by them all, especially their kid.
It may sound outrageous to do this and seem extreme but something has to be done.
I hate violence and bullying but as a last resort is has worked for me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As Wishy said... kids/teens do often get into a bit of a pack mentality stage. They always have and always will.... it was no different when I was a kid. Pissing out the boundaries of your turf.
The difference between now and then is.... a lot of parents try to protect kids from other kids being kids. If you were talking about an inner city gang of yout' it would be a different matter.
If you get him involved in self defence classes or martial arts... it should be because he is interested. It will do wonders for his self confidence, he'll get a sense of belonging from being part of that group..... but please don't tell him the reason you want him to go is because of the kids on the park.
The more we make a fuss of things the more we reinforce the belief in the kid that it is a big problem. Sometimes parents make their own children feel like victims more than the kids the parents are complaining about.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would go as far as going to the police .. Thay have people that work there deal with bulling as its going on alot all over the place . I know maybe you dont wish to go that far, if you can sort it yourself but ...For me my kids come first and i would do what ever to stop this. . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you get him involved in self defence classes or martial arts... it should be because he is interested. It will do wonders for his self confidence, he'll get a sense of belonging from being part of that group..... but please don't tell him the reason you want him to go is because of the kids on the park."
I was thinking of it as more of a way of getting him into a completely new circle of friends and developing interests that take him other places than to a park where he doesn't know from day to day if he's going to get a kicking. Karate teaches that even though the ability to defend oneself is there the restraint not to use it is also present unless compelled to, and I'm absolutely certain that 13y/o Joe Thug will not want to look like a wanker in front of his cronies if he picks on a kid and then gets the crap kicked out of him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you get him involved in self defence classes or martial arts... it should be because he is interested. It will do wonders for his self confidence, he'll get a sense of belonging from being part of that group..... but please don't tell him the reason you want him to go is because of the kids on the park.
I was thinking of it as more of a way of getting him into a completely new circle of friends and developing interests that take him other places than to a park where he doesn't know from day to day if he's going to get a kicking. Karate teaches that even though the ability to defend oneself is there the restraint not to use it is also present unless compelled to, and I'm absolutely certain that 13y/o Joe Thug will not want to look like a wanker in front of his cronies if he picks on a kid and then gets the crap kicked out of him."
I get where your advice is coming from. I am more pointing out the conversations parents have with their kids when trying to do the right thing often gives the kid more to worry about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day ,
go for the ring leader and give them all you've got .
once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me .
this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing .
unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids .
pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self .
i hate bulleys
Yeah i have told him to go for the ring leader, and if they all get him again, go back and get the ring leader again and same each and every time until the ring leader has had enough and tells them to back off.. The problem is they are never alone, they're always in groups of 4+ and the thing is our lad is just so soft in his nature i don't think he's got it in him... I wish i was 15 again...!"
you have in away answered your own question about this if there are 3+ its a gang and you said there are 4+ and also your son and anyones child for that matter has a legal right to walk the street with out fear of being bullied go back to the police and report it in person if they still refuse to do anything tell them your going to contact the IPCC there are laws inplace now to protect every one against being bullied and the police have to act by law but if you get your son to fight back its your son who will end up in court soley because of his medical condishion why because its easyer for the police to charge your son than do there job and charge the bullies |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you get him involved in self defence classes or martial arts... it should be because he is interested. It will do wonders for his self confidence, he'll get a sense of belonging from being part of that group.....
I think this is a good thing if he would do it .... would help so much with self-confidence and be fun and get to meet new people .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have two children in my family with autism/aspergers so know exactly where you are coming from.
We invited an autism charity to the school to speak to the kids about it and how their actions impact on their fellow students with autistic tendencies.
The response was amazing. Some ignored the whole thing, but most understood the message. The bullying stopped, not only because the bullies were ashamed but also because other kids watched out for our lad. Twice he was escorted home by older children, happy and quite content with his new friends (and you know how hard it is for our kids to mingle)
It may not be the answer to your prayers, but it worked for us.
Why dont you approach the school? See if they're open to a special assembly or an educational week for special needs.
Personally I wouldnt go down the violence/self defence path. Aspergers kids need no encouragement to lash out.
Good luck with the little one, give him a big hug from us  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When I was at school my nephew got bullied and the bully had a brother in my year. It took three days of me beating is brother for him to get the hint. Sometimes unfortunately the world works pack mentality and the leader wins. Just a fact of life that bully's mostly only understand one thing. I do not condown this was of doing things but sometimes it is the only way. I still chat to the brother and he still thinks is brother is a twat |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day ,
go for the ring leader and give them all you've got .
once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me .
this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing .
unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids .
pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self .
i hate bulleys"
i am a pacifist but...
my eldest is autistic, in mainstream school though. He can be very suggestible, and takes things literally. A couple of years ago he was getting grief of a lad in his school. One day this boy told him to pour salt into his mouth at lunch time..so my son did, obviously it tasted horrible.
He grabbed the bullies head and slammed it into the table...he has never been bothered again...even the school treated him leniently. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know they people say not to get involved. But when my children were bullied I marched round there gave the kids a right royal piece of my mind told them that if it happened again not only will their parents find out but also their school. I knew for a fact the school wouldn't do anything and the parents would defend their little angels to the last, but the kids didn't know that and the bullying stopped instantly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was bullied at school, it went on for years and by a lad as well. My parents complained constantly to the school and it was only when i lashed out at the lad because i had had enough that some thing was done about it.
Yes i was the one who got in trouble, yet it was me who was the victim for so long.
I got bullied again not long ago when i was 23 and went straight to the police who took it very seriously wish i had done that at school.
Would of saved me the torment for all those years.
Being a good parent n supporting your son will help n i wish u all the best with the situation.
xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
unfortunately... this sounds bad but i thing confronting them his self can be the best... sorry if this offends you... i was also bullied.
when i was seventeen... about four boys were chucking stones at me i turned around walked back to them and asked who thro them they backed down.
also ignoring is v good shows you dont care... also going there with bigger friends/boys only to show you have other friends and your not alone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The trouble is some schools do nothing about it.
When my eldest was about 10 she came home one day crying because her and her friends had been bullying this lad. She told me she didn't want to lose her friends by not doing it but she felt awful that this poor lad was suffering in part due to her.
I took her into the school so she could explain what had been going on. As it happened when we got there the lads mum was there at the same time. I told her what my girl had told me and she asked if I would go in with her. So I did.
After telling the headteacher what had been happening. About the premeditation and the nasty comments, the pushing and shoving. The Headteacher turned round and said to the son "If you weren't so hyperactive maybe you wouldn't be bullied!" No word of a lie that were her exact words. Not only that, she offered no solution whatsoever. I went off it with her! Absolute disgrace.
It's easy enough saying stand up for yourself, and undoubtedly that's the best option. But it's unbelievably scary for a kid to stand up to his bullies, especially if there is a number of them. Can I ask how old your son is? Or did I miss that? xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Our son is unable to go down the the local village or local park because there's about 14 kids down there that keep bullying him.
Anything from name calling to getting physical. Sadley it's mainly girls and a few boys.
We don't really know what to do to stop this. Has anyone got any ideas? Most of them are always in trouble with the police, for some reason the police are powerless against these teens...
Going to see the parents is a waste of time as this has been tried and the parents do NOT give a sh*t about what they are upto...
"
i think we all know that in the real world theres not a lot you can do, teens get away with stuff like this as all that happens is they gave taken down to the station, cautioned and let out, and that worse case, if the police can even be bothered to take them to the station, all you will achieve is your sons live being made worse as they will just have a go at him more for you calling the police
In an ideal world you would call the police and the police would sort it and this would stop but we dont live in an idea world
My ex hubby was attacked by a teenage yob who went to smash a bottle over his head as my ex turned and saw him he lifted his arm and the kid hit his elbo instead shattering the bone, it took 4 ops to fix his elbo and almost lost his arm at one point as the bone was so badly broken, the lad was 17 years old and had a criminal record as long as his arm including robbing a OAP at knife point but had still never had custodial, this happened in the febuary and the police all but begged us not to press charges till the August he would then be 18 and tried as an adult, which we did other wise he would have walked again to terrorise another day, from the febuary to the August we had 2 cars stolen by him, i actually saw him drive off in the one thro the window, and my daughter was beaten up by 3 lads who just turned out to be his cousins as well as having his mum turn up at my door and threatern me if i didnt drop the charges, when i reported all this to the police i was told to drop it or i would be seen as picking on him and the case would be thrown out of court 
If under 18s can get away with pulling knifes on old people and robbing them and putting people in hospital they not going to do much about a bunch of ,kids picking on another kid
There needs to be tougher laws on teens but sadly there isnt |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
look at me... im have to walk away... in some ways it would have been good for the guy to smack me one... he be fucked... but i cant hit him... theres not discipline in this country. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Daily/regular bullying by the same people can break the victims spirit and any thoughts of revenge or retaliation are put way to the back of the mind because of further repercussions.
If the bullies know this then they will continue to carry out verbal and physical abuse, its a vicious cycle.
Seeing that your son has been bullied for a long period of time it will be taking its toll on him (and yourselves) so maybe taking the step of you BOTH confronting one of the parents while they are away from the safe haven of their home to get them on their own so they feel vulnerable on the street and tell them that what you have to say is the last step before the law steps in, might get the message across.
It takes courage for ANYONE to confront a person, so hope all goes well if you decide to act upon it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have been reading this. Has the writer given any thought to having the child trained for self defence. If right art is chosen it can help in more than just protecting themselves, good exercise raise self control and respect. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Our son is unable to go down the the local village or local park because there's about 14 kids down there that keep bullying him.
Anything from name calling to getting physical. Sadley it's mainly girls and a few boys.
We don't really know what to do to stop this. Has anyone got any ideas? Most of them are always in trouble with the police, for some reason the police are powerless against these teens...
Going to see the parents is a waste of time as this has been tried and the parents do NOT give a sh*t about what they are upto...
i think we all know that in the real world theres not a lot you can do, teens get away with stuff like this as all that happens is they gave taken down to the station, cautioned and let out, and that worse case, if the police can even be bothered to take them to the station, all you will achieve is your sons live being made worse as they will just have a go at him more for you calling the police
In an ideal world you would call the police and the police would sort it and this would stop but we dont live in an idea world
My ex hubby was attacked by a teenage yob who went to smash a bottle over his head as my ex turned and saw him he lifted his arm and the kid hit his elbo instead shattering the bone, it took 4 ops to fix his elbo and almost lost his arm at one point as the bone was so badly broken, the lad was 17 years old and had a criminal record as long as his arm including robbing a OAP at knife point but had still never had custodial, this happened in the febuary and the police all but begged us not to press charges till the August he would then be 18 and tried as an adult, which we did other wise he would have walked again to terrorise another day, from the febuary to the August we had 2 cars stolen by him, i actually saw him drive off in the one thro the window, and my daughter was beaten up by 3 lads who just turned out to be his cousins as well as having his mum turn up at my door and threatern me if i didnt drop the charges, when i reported all this to the police i was told to drop it or i would be seen as picking on him and the case would be thrown out of court
If under 18s can get away with pulling knifes on old people and robbing them and putting people in hospital they not going to do much about a bunch of ,kids picking on another kid
There needs to be tougher laws on teens but sadly there isnt "
Sorry to hear about your husband etc.. We hope it doesn't get as bad as that for our son. Got to agree with you tho, kids need tougher laws and bloody disaplin needs to come back.. BRING BACK THE CANE!!! A good hiding never did me any harm and if there is disaplin then respect will soon follow...( just to add i don't mean give kids a beating, just incase there's any anti smacker out there )
Kids are untouchable now, when i was a lad we had a village copper and if he caught you upto no good he'd give you a thick ear and if you told your parents you'd normaly get another lol Oh the good old days... lol Thanks again everyone... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I REALLY hate bullies. I have seen so many kids that are walking past the shops etc get bullied by groups. The key thing is that these groups always have a ring leader.
Do me a favour and go on you tube, type in casey haynes. This is what should happen to all bullies.
I am not saying that this is whay your son should do but it might give him a laugh and make him feel that he isnt alone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Probelm now days is kids just roam the streets and because they get bored they get upto no good to pass the time, lots of parents dont give a crap where their kids are so long as they are out the house, and if you dare go knock on their door to tell the parents what their kids are upto you just get abuse of the parents too
Times have just changed im afraid
When i was a kid i wouldnt have dared cheeked of an adult and if you did you didnt dare go home after
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *annGentMan
over a year ago
With a cracking view |
"Times have just changed im afraid
When i was a kid i wouldnt have dared cheeked of an adult and if you did you didnt dare go home after
"
I got smacked by my parents if I did something wrong.
I got caned at school if I did something wrong, and smacked at home again.
And don't forget the neighbours who were good snitches to your parents !
I don't think I've turned out too bad
It appears to me, that stopping corporal punishment in schools, however many years ago it happened, has directly or indirectly led us to this situation.
My dad used to be a copper, and he tells the story of two lads found graffiti painting a bus stop in the 1960's.
He hauled them off to there homes, and with their parents permission, it was decided that the punishment be the lads had to clean their mess up.
One lad got cocky, and said he was away on holiday, but my dad turned round and said your half will be waiting !
The bus shelter was cleaned !
When I was deciding what job to do, being a copper was the only one my dad said he would stand against me for, as this old style of policing had been lost long ago.
I realise there will be those who don't agree with corporal punishment, but in my eyes, we've managed to survive as a species so far with it !! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thing nowadays is kids don't know when to stop esp in groups so being violent back will not work as this could turn very evil.
Happens all around the world now where a group all take part in beating someone weaker and some cases have actually killed the kid so violence will never fix it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Kirriemuir
'It appears to me, that stopping corporal punishment in schools, however many years ago it happened, has directly or indirectly led us to this situation.'
Do children have parents ?
Why are schools expected to punish people for what they do outside of school? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *annGentMan
over a year ago
With a cracking view |
"
Do children have parents ?
Why are schools expected to punish people for what they do outside of school?"
Probably not clear enough, fingers connected directly to brain cell !
Can't remember if it was banned in schools first, or banned everywhere.
Happy to put my hand up and acknowledge my ignorance on it's introduction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day ,
go for the ring leader and give them all you've got .
once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me .
this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing .
unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids .
pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self .
i hate bulleys"
This is easier said than done. I have whopped a few bullies in my time but only because I am tall and athletic and me mam made me wear clodoppers!!!
They would probably be less likely to pick on two or more children together. But this can still happen.
When it happened to my boys they rallied some of the local kids and set up a decoy who made the biggest bulley chase him into the bushes, where all the other kids were waiting.
It may not be the ideal solution but short of re-education whole estates of families it is a quick fix. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There are some replies that suggest martial arts etc for the lad, some people just aren't fighters or have the nerve to face the bullies.
The best advice so far is the group of neighbours/community that want these bullies stopped.
Form a group of dedicated people to be vigilant (not necessarily vigilantes) to keep on top of them so the bullies feel intimidated to move on.
If they (the bullies) get a bit shirty I'm sure there will be a some from the group of neighbours that would have a quiet word and persuade them to leave people alone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Do children have parents ?
Why are schools expected to punish people for what they do outside of school?"
i went to a private school where they was very strict, if we had the school uniform on we was representing the school and if we did anything wrong outside school hours in that uniform the school did punish us, even if it was 9 o clock at night if we had that uniform on we was expected to act in a way to make the school proud and if you didnt you had them to answer to |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My son was bullied by a boy in his class for years. I talked to his mother who didn't really seem to care.
Eventually I told her, whatever her son did to mine I would do to her .... ten-fold.
A year later he belted my son in the stomach and winded him so badly another parent carried him to the head teachers office saying something had to be done about the bully.
That was the day I snapped, I saw his mother, I complained yet again , she ended up pushing me over in front of my child.
I beat the living crap out of her and assured her she'd get the same every day till her son stopped bullying mine.
She got the police to me and charged me with assault, fortunately every parent saw her strike me first so I wasn't charged with assault.
her son stopped hitting mine and every time she sees me she says hello!
Sometimes you treat like with like, it's the only language they understand.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Keep reporting incidents to the police and getting log numbers
Let schools/colleges know if they are of that age
If any of them live in local authority properties, inform them as they can usually threaten to turf out families who cause problems (that might get the parents interested if they are gonna lose their homes over their kids behaviour)
keep a diary of things that happen
if you dont know who they all are, but perhaps one or two, use Facebook to identify the rest as they seem to proudly spill their guts on there
get your lad on a self defence classes to arm him if it turns nasty again, and to build up his self confidence
Good Luck xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Go to the parents, ask them nicely to get their little darlings to leave your child alone.... if that doesnt work beat the crap out of the dad somewhere nice and quiet and promise that it will happen again and again until their little darling desists his bullying activities.
I'm against violence but sometimes it's the only thing that works  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Google kids bullying
2nd down have a good read and start doing something proactive about it.
It's not easy and can be as stressful for the parents too.
Like most things in life help and support is available.
Just don't give up.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I absolutely hate bullies. And enjoyed confronting 4 of them just before Christmas.
I would talk to the local Police about it and if nothing can be done from their end I'd go down and have a word with the bullies. Or if you dont feel able to get someone else to do it. Preferably someone scary looking.
I would definitely get your lad into martial arts and would recommend Judo, Jiu Jitsu or Israeli arts like Krav Maga or Kapap.
As others have said they will get your boy a new circle of friends and build confidence and fitness. That way if he has problems with these sorts of characters at any point in life he will be better equipped to deal with them.
The very best of luck to you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Do children have parents ?
Why are schools expected to punish people for what they do outside of school?
i went to a private school where they was very strict, if we had the school uniform on we was representing the school and if we did anything wrong outside school hours in that uniform the school did punish us, even if it was 9 o clock at night if we had that uniform on we was expected to act in a way to make the school proud and if you didnt you had them to answer to"
My school was excally the same, we was not even allowed out at luch time incase ne of us "cocked" up. U didnt go to school in NW London by ne chance? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
