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How can you tell if married and single night at club?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

How can you tell if at a club ...apart from them having a wedding ring on if married ? Its not easy to chat in clubs as music on and loads going on ...some may not like chating about there life? Lots here say never meet married people but i bet some have not knowing it at clubs. Or is it different when you dont know ?

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You can't tell.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

what else do you need besides them wearing a wedding ring?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

in a club i think you just have to asume that some will be cheating, fact of life im afraid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't unless you ask first.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can always tell the married guys in clubs, they leave in two waves, first lot goes about 10.30 so home in time for pubs kicking out, second lot leave about 1 for when night clubs shut

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You don't unless you ask first. "
lots would hate you asking .. and tell you a story just to get a shag x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You can always tell the married guys in clubs, they leave in two waves, first lot goes about 10.30 so home in time for pubs kicking out, second lot leave about 1 for when night clubs shut

"
lol xxx yes you have a point x what about the ones working away from home get lots of them going to clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We always found that if you asked then the biggest majority would actually admit it

But there again whether they were or not was no concern of ours

The ones that used ta get up my nose were the ones that said yes i am married etc but i wouldnt bring her to a place like this

They often wondered why we walked away and yes that happened quite a few times xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

"
Its not easy as most are just into having fun at clubs and normal everyday life is far from there minds .

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"How can you tell if at a club ...apart from them having a wedding ring on if married ? Its not easy to chat in clubs as music on and loads going on ...some may not like chating about there life? Lots here say never meet married people but i bet some have not knowing it at clubs. Or is it different when you dont know ?"

You can't.....unless they tell you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

nor me, and i think i would find it odd if anyone asked me if i was married at a club, my private lifes got nothing to do with anyone else

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

I have been asking if i am truely single.. or if i am in some sort of relationship in clubs.... in fact, quite happy when i am asked.... I have nothing in that sense to hide...

i have been in clubs when people have been quite brazen in the fact that "couples" tell me they are cheating on respective partners (one was 2 weeks before they were going to get married)

at least in a sense i then can make a conscious decision...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You can't.....unless they tell you.

"
I think your right so most who say never meet married but go to clubs with singles having fun i bet unknowing have sex with married men. Makes me smile when people say we asked him this and that .. most only tell you things thay wish to here to get a leg over ,

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

nor me, and i think i would find it odd if anyone asked me if i was married at a club, my private lifes got nothing to do with anyone else"
You see thats how alot would see it ... nothing to do with other people.

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

We all have a line at which point our conscious is clear (or not)… this line will be in a different place for different people.

If I knowingly invite a married guy who is cheating to my home or to a hotel or to a club even… I am encouraging him… I become the enabler of his cheating. I will not do that.

I am not responsible for someone going to a club under their own steam. I haven’t encouraged him to be there, I didn’t ask him to go. It’s not that once they are in the club I don’t care, it’s about what is practicable.

If I went to a car boot sale and bought a table lamp, I will do so in good faith that the seller is the rightful owner and is entitled to sell me the lamp. I could ask “did you nick this?” but I doubt I would get an honest answer. If it turns out to be stolen, my conscious would be clear that I had no part in encouraging the theft to take place.

If I went into the pub and said to a dodgy looking chav… “hey have you seen the table lamp at number 43… I’d pay someone £50 for one of those, if you happen to *cough* find one anywhere”…. I would be the reason they went out and robbed it. My conscious would not be clear.

In all swinging activity there has to be an element of ‘good faith’… not just at a club.

I will not knowingly be the enabler for someone else to cheat…. that is where my line sits.

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

**conscience** derrrr.

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By *un_JuiceCouple over a year ago

Nr Chester

The ones that used ta get up my nose were the ones that said yes i am married etc but i wouldnt bring her to a place like this

They often wondered why we walked away and yes that happened quite a few times xx

Precisely, experienced that too. Not in a club. We laughed and left it be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We all have a line at which point our conscious is clear (or not)… this line will be in a different place for different people.

If I knowingly invite a married guy who is cheating to my home or to a hotel or to a club even… I am encouraging him… I become the enabler of his cheating. I will not do that.

In all swinging activity there has to be an element of ‘good faith’… not just at a club.

I will not knowingly be the enabler for someone else to cheat…. that is where my line sits.

"
polo words of wisdom from you again. You do wright some good posts here . xx yes you make some good points .

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

you can't tell, unless they bring it up...however as i said elsewhere a married guy at a club is not involving me in his deception.

i play in different ways at clubs, sometimes meeting ppl,getting to know them, or meeting up with ppl i already fancy and hope to play with.

Sometimes i just want to be a cock slut, being spit roasted and fucked by all comers *coughs live dildoes*

i am sure that in that situation i have been fucked by men there without their partners consent, however that is their decision, they deal with the fall out, tell the lies, i am not involved .

When a married man or woman playing away requests a meet with me, they are asking me to agree with what they are doing.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

nor me, and i think i would find it odd if anyone asked me if i was married at a club, my private lifes got nothing to do with anyone else"

i have been asked several times by couples if kev knows i am out, friends can always confirm yes...and they reassured ask me to play.

i never mind being asked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes i just want to be a cock slut, being spit roasted and fucked by all comers

Im in shock

i always thought you were quiet and reserved

So ya told me porkies then?

It was you under that pile a blokes that times wasnt it xx

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If they spend most the time they're shagging you looking over their shoulder, or they flinch every time they hear a phone ring, they're married.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

nor me, and i think i would find it odd if anyone asked me if i was married at a club, my private lifes got nothing to do with anyone else

i have been asked several times by couples if kev knows i am out, friends can always confirm yes...and they reassured ask me to play.

i never mind being asked

it depends on whos asks, as i use clubs a lot i get to know people and if its a chat and asking in conversation while having a friendly chat i dont mind, if its a stranger who asking so they can judge me if i am playing away lol or want to know so they know if its worth carrying on talking they can bugger off

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

Sometimes i just want to be a cock slut, being spit roasted and fucked by all comers

Im in shock

i always thought you were quiet and reserved

So ya told me porkies then?

It was you under that pile a blokes that times wasnt it xx

Sorry, i know you wanted to be under them

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

nor me, and i think i would find it odd if anyone asked me if i was married at a club, my private lifes got nothing to do with anyone else

i have been asked several times by couples if kev knows i am out, friends can always confirm yes...and they reassured ask me to play.

i never mind being asked

i see your point, but a few times i have gone to clubf with a friend when kev doesnt fancy it. So saying yes i'm married,we both swing but the guy over there isnt my partner invites questions

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes i just want to be a cock slut, being spit roasted and fucked by all comers

Im in shock

i always thought you were quiet and reserved

So ya told me porkies then?

It was you under that pile a blokes that times wasnt it xx

Sorry, i know you wanted to be under them

SSshhhhhh xx

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

Sometimes i just want to be a cock slut, being spit roasted and fucked by all comers

Im in shock

i always thought you were quiet and reserved

So ya told me porkies then?

It was you under that pile a blokes that times wasnt it xx

Sorry, i know you wanted to be under them

SSshhhhhh xx"

bugger i thought you were out!

Ahem...

Attention all soapy is as straight as i am, honest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do people ask?

I don't think ive ever asked anyone that ive been chatting to at a club if they're married

nor me, and i think i would find it odd if anyone asked me if i was married at a club, my private lifes got nothing to do with anyone else

i have been asked several times by couples if kev knows i am out, friends can always confirm yes...and they reassured ask me to play.

i never mind being asked

i see your point, but a few times i have gone to clubf with a friend when kev doesnt fancy it. So saying yes i'm married,we both swing but the guy over there isnt my partner invites questions

oh ive had it a few times, and i always find its women who have to bring it up lol

Where they have asked if my husband knows i used swingers clubs and i just say no......and leave it at that, you can see they dieing to carry on the convo but usually dont after i give them a dont ask anything else look lol

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

but again its one of those things where if people ask.. and like jemima, at club f i don't know if we are just that nosey!! lol i tell the truth, my conscience is clear.....

all you can ask is that people are (and i am about to use one of those buzz words again) "honest"......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who cares...

Lets just FUCK!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i've had people ask me afterwards but never before

i've also had people mid sex say things like 'my wife won't do this, or she won't do that'

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"but again its one of those things where if people ask.. and like jemima, at club f i don't know if we are just that nosey!! lol i tell the truth, my conscience is clear.....

all you can ask is that people are (and i am about to use one of those buzz words again) "honest"......

"
well i find it very hard to hear people well at clubs music stuff going on i know there places you can go out the way to chat ... but things move so fast ... and i think it would kill the fun if i had to go into the ins and out of there life some may just get nasty think its rude x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"We all have a line at which point our conscious is clear (or not)… this line will be in a different place for different people.

If I knowingly invite a married guy who is cheating to my home or to a hotel or to a club even… I am encouraging him… I become the enabler of his cheating. I will not do that.

In all swinging activity there has to be an element of ‘good faith’… not just at a club.

I will not knowingly be the enabler for someone else to cheat…. that is where my line sits.

great point great answer. You have also summed something up for me to do with work of course I won't use the example haha.. However Its made it clearer about someting at work...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So does it follow to reason that in club scene its generaly ok to play with married people because they are there already and its harder to establish if they are married or not,

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So does it follow to reason that in club scene its generaly ok to play with married people because they are there already and its harder to establish if they are married or not,"
sure looks that way .

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"So does it follow to reason that in club scene its generaly ok to play with married people because they are there already and its harder to establish if they are married or not,"

I think I have to go with what polo said. As a rule I do not arrange a meet with married men however in a club I am catious as to who I play with. like polo said I have not brought that person to the club he is there on his own free will. Its a difficult one but I would try and avoid playing with a married man but its not that easy if they don't tell you that they are married..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So does it follow to reason that in club scene its generaly ok to play with married people because they are there already and its harder to establish if they are married or not,sure looks that way ."

Or another thought is it more like an animal instinct in a highly charged sexual atmosphere and the majority then dont give a feck and get on with the fun

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"So does it follow to reason that in club scene its generaly ok to play with married people because they are there already and its harder to establish if they are married or not,sure looks that way .

Or another thought is it more like an animal instinct in a highly charged sexual atmosphere and the majority then dont give a feck and get on with the fun"

some clearly do care, see the people who have asked me in the past. i think polo's answer explains what i was trying to say, but far better. We can only be responsible for ourselves,its like safe sex, we cant know what our partner has been up to the day before, and have to make our decisions accordingly.

We are each ultimately responsible for ourselves.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

For me club and non club swinging activities are different for me. Non club, i like to get to know someone first, build up a rapour and have it on my profile that i dont meet married guys.

In a club i couldnt care less, i dont even need to know their name. If you asked them if they where married and they said no would it mean their not married.

I would actually find it very strange if someone in a club asked me if i was married same as me asking them. Its a flaming shag, nothing more nothing less.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We all have a line at which point our conscious is clear (or not)… this line will be in a different place for different people.

If I knowingly invite a married guy who is cheating to my home or to a hotel or to a club even… I am encouraging him… I become the enabler of his cheating. I will not do that.

In all swinging activity there has to be an element of ‘good faith’… not just at a club.

I will not knowingly be the enabler for someone else to cheat…. that is where my line sits.

+1 But i will ask if they are married and if they are, if their partner knows they are there. if they say they are married but lie and say their partner is aware( same if they say they aren't married but they are) .. then i have nothing to worry about.. its not like i have bought them to my home... where their partner who is being deceived ( as well as me) might come and cause trouble.. if they come to the club and cause trouble they have doormen/women and lots of other people around.. and its not my property.

I would still be annoyed that someone lied to me but it wouldn't cause the main problems i would be concerned about if we were to be entertaining them at home.

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

You can spot the married men at clubs easily. They will roll over and fall asleep even in a public room after a 2 minute fuck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

Its interesting the answers.

I will try and erase the thought from my mind that they could be married but when it comes to it only they know if they are or not.

I have been to parties and been asked where my other half is and people havent believed me that i am single, which I very much am.

They only know what I tell them (which is always the truth) but I have no idea if they are telling me the truth.

I take responsibility for myself and my honesty but cant guarantee honesty from anyone else

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By *enithWoman over a year ago

closer than you think

"So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there"

I wouldn't say that people don't give a toss .... as previously mentioned the situation is different. They have gone to the club usually paid an inflated entrance fee in the hope that they will get lucky and have sex. Doubt the last thing they expect is being asked if they are married!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to admit that I take the view that other people's marriages may have problems which is why one of them looks for solace elsewhere, but that's their problem and it will exist whether or not I play with them, so on that basis, if I like someone enough and vice versa - we'll play.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have to admit that I take the view that other people's marriages may have problems which is why one of them looks for solace elsewhere, but that's their problem and it will exist whether or not I play with them, so on that basis, if I like someone enough and vice versa - we'll play."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

couldn't agree more and the best piece of information on this thread so far.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

couldn't agree more and the best piece of information on this thread so far."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find it quite strange that when you read a profile that says "do not meet married or attatched men under any circumstances" ... then in the interests section they list "Swingers Clubs".....is it me or is that funny..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and let us not forget that marriage these days needn't involve an exchange of rings.

long term common law partnerships are far more prevelant than they were years ago and these partnerships often bear children.

whilst the female may choose to wear a ring of some description, the male may choose not to do so.

so is meeting a long term partnered person in a club, any different than meeting a married guy in there ?

and if the female of a couple is bi, is she frowned upon any more if she plays with a married woman rather than a married or partnered man ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I find it quite strange that when you read a profile that says "do not meet married or attatched men under any circumstances" ... then in the interests section they list "Swingers Clubs".....is it me or is that funny..

"
if on a night singles go ... thay would really never know if married or not , Its not easy to turn around to a person and ask in a club as some will say nothing to do with you and could get nasty .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

or maybe a contradiction

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Quite easy to spot, just look for the ones dancing embarassingly non-rhytmic with creases pressed into his trousers that wifey has secretly done as a secret signal to other ladies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

or maybe a contradiction"

maybe...it seems very difficult for anyone to really know...even if the are attatched but at the club with a buddy..thats even harder to spot...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

have you read any of the answers above?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there"

not quiye not give a toss, but yes, its why my constant advice is visit an escort.

Man .or woman up and sort out a way to scratch your itch that doesnt mean others have to be willing accomplices to your deception.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there

not quiye not give a toss, but yes, its why my constant advice is visit an escort.

Man .or woman up and sort out a way to scratch your itch that doesnt mean others have to be willing accomplices to your deception."

well if they are scratching their itch at a swingers club whoever they are scracthing with is a willing accomplice,wheter they are aware of the scrachters relationship status,if not its rape!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone is married (male or female) it's their responsibility to own up before any sexual contact.

Not all those who are married carry a CV of their status and conquests for potential partners to read.

We are all adults and all have a choice to say yes or no.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and let us not forget that marriage these days needn't involve an exchange of rings.

long term common law partnerships are far more prevelant than they were years ago and these partnerships often bear children.

whilst the female may choose to wear a ring of some description, the male may choose not to do so.

so is meeting a long term partnered person in a club, any different than meeting a married guy in there ?

and if the female of a couple is bi, is she frowned upon any more if she plays with a married woman rather than a married or partnered man ?"

I think it's safe to assume that in the context of this thread 'married' means anyone in a long term relationship.

A person free to play, whether that's because that person is single or with his or her partner's full blessing, does not have to carefully vet any or everyone he or she wishes to play with in terms of fidelity, it's for the other person to deal with. There is no such thing as a moral policeman.

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I find it quite bazaar that some people just can’t grasp the concept of people knowing at what point they are satisfied their own conscience is clear…. and thus those who can’t grasp it want to stick to an all or nothing approach, which could only be achieved through never fucking another person again unless you happen to be married to them.

It’s a bit like saying “I never touch illegal drugs” and the graspless replying “what about the drug residue on banknotes?”… or someone saying “I would never knowingly try to pass on fake banknotes” and the graspless coming back with the estimated number of forged bank notes in circulation… and then trying to call them a hypocrite.

Reasonably practicable… is not a blanket statement which means doesn’t care or stops caring if the minge is wet. It means there is only so much each individual can do to feasibly ensure they have not breached their own values.... after that point you have to rely on good faith.

I guess some people understand the concept of values and conscience.. and some just don't.

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By *irtydanMan over a year ago

Blackpool

ask ?

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple over a year ago

London

You just have to use your best judgement at the end of the day.

Some people still cheat even when they have a partner (Even a wife or girlfriend) who does play with them on the scene. We found this really bizarre.

It's our personal choice not to play with people who are cheating, we will never know for sure, but there's various judgement calls we can make in order to make our choice as informed as possible.

People will always cheat, but you just make the best choices you can at the end of the day.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there

not quiye not give a toss, but yes, its why my constant advice is visit an escort.

Man .or woman up and sort out a way to scratch your itch that doesnt mean others have to be willing accomplices to your deception."

I am surprised at that...visiting an Escort would still be cheating. Wherever you get the sex it is all cheating?

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

well if they are scratching their itch at a swingers club whoever they are scracthing with is a willing accomplice,wheter they are aware of the scrachters relationship status,if not its rape!"

Hhhmmmmmmm....

Noun... willing - the act of making a choice; They may have chosen to have sex, they may not have been given a choice as to whether they helped the person cheat... it depends how 'open' the cheat is.

Adj... willing - disposed or inclined toward; They may be inclined towards group play or playing at a swinging club, it does not follow they are disposed or inclined towards enabling cheats to cheat.

Noun ... accomplice - a person who joins with another in carrying out a plan or to help a person commit a crime; It implies there is prior knowledge, so they may know they are getting fucked, but to be an accomplice to cheating you would have to know the other person would be cheating prior to the act.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there

not quiye not give a toss, but yes, its why my constant advice is visit an escort.

Man .or woman up and sort out a way to scratch your itch that doesnt mean others have to be willing accomplices to your deception.

I am surprised at that...visiting an Escort would still be cheating. Wherever you get the sex it is all cheating?"

Contary to what ppl think i dont think cheats will burn in hell, they just tend not to read what i write

i have as they say been around the block a few times, ppl playing away on swinging sites tend to devote time and energy to the site/swinging that imo could be better spent working on the marriage.i have met very few(ok none) married men who were willing to tackle their problems face on and risk emotional upheaval. Swinging is a cover for mental honesty and honesty matters to me.

Yes, it's still cheating but it is a less dishonest way to scratch the itch. 1 hour with someone you are claiming no relationship with ,who is with you because you are paying them.

i didnt say it was ideal, the ideal would be to work things out with your life partner, but its imo better.

Of course it is partly because of how i see swinging, the fact it involves relationship building, and to be successful the investment of time and energy.

*disclaimer jem is a complex bunny and these are her opinions nothing more

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I find it quite bazaar that some people just can’t grasp the concept of people knowing at what point they are satisfied their own conscience is clear…. and thus those who can’t grasp it want to stick to an all or nothing approach, which could only be achieved through never fucking another person again unless you happen to be married to them.

I guess some people understand the concept of values and conscience.. and some just don't."

to be honest im giving up explaining

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there

not quiye not give a toss, but yes, its why my constant advice is visit an escort.

Man .or woman up and sort out a way to scratch your itch that doesnt mean others have to be willing accomplices to your deception.

I am surprised at that...visiting an Escort would still be cheating. Wherever you get the sex it is all cheating?

Contary to what ppl think i dont think cheats will burn in hell, they just tend not to read what i write

Yes, it's still cheating but it is a less dishonest way to scratch the itch. 1 hour with someone you are claiming no relationship with ,who is with you because you are paying them.

The same could be said about swinging but without the money.

All cheating is dishonest, I don't think you can say people only cheat a little bit.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"So would it be safe to answer all the why cant i get a shag i'm married threads,with go to a club nobody give a toss there

not quiye not give a toss, but yes, its why my constant advice is visit an escort.

Man .or woman up and sort out a way to scratch your itch that doesnt mean others have to be willing accomplices to your deception.

well if they are scratching their itch at a swingers club whoever they are scracthing with is a willing accomplice,wheter they are aware of the scrachters relationship status,if not its rape!"

not sure if you are deliberatly being obtuse, or baiting me because in your eyes i am moralistic.

i refer all future comments to pole who is far better at words than me