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Think I've been here too long!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now.

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By *atural-born-thrillerMan  over a year ago

oulton broad

I find ( as the song goes ) you don’t have to take your clothes off to have a good time x that is along time to be here but it’s good you are as you brighten the forum with your posts and your comments ....your pictures aren’t half bad either . X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now. "

Theres nothing to feel like a dickhead for life is litterally trial and error what works for one doesnt for others all you can control is your own fun and happiness happy people are magnetic so aim for your own happines and people will go to you

I know this sounds cheesy but it really is true but iif your happy and approachable people will gravitate to you naturally even just to chat from there anything can happen

Good luck

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By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I agree with your friend.. just act like it never happened.

As a bloke, I can confirm that "most blokes" are after a shag. The difference between here and real life though is that on here we are up-front and transparent about it. In vanilla life there are consequences to consider for both sides and even the clearest signals can be misunderstood.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now. "

Firstly I'm not judging anyone but I think if your "active" on here it will make any relationship in the real world challenging.

It's interesting you mention false confidence, I've noticed a lot of people on here who constantly look for reassurance and or approval with their posts.

I think a lot of people on here have pretty low self esteem and lack confidence and come here in order to get noticed.

Probably not the best place for that imo.

Entering into a relationship should be the most natural thing in the world but you now have an image of yourself that every man wants to shag you which must play with your head

You need to find a balance and not revolve life around a website.

Good luck and btw I don't want to shag you x

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By *isaB45Woman  over a year ago

Fabville

Lesson learned.

Now salvage some dignity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I was happy and approachable though, I was constantly having a laugh with everyone around me in work. It was the nitty gritty stuff. Hindsight, I *should* have just done what everyone was saying from the start, just ask the geezer out, that would have been less embarrassing than the way I went about it.

Was concentrating so much on trying to make sure I wouldn't be rejected but it happened anyway, I might as well have just said something as simple as we should do something after work. But no I think I come off as a weirdo, fuck, that dude was right.

Right scrap yazoo, can we have a new code word that means listen to what is being said now because we've been here before. New code word is 'fix up' it's only to be used when I'm seemingly ignoring advice on what is the best course of action.

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By *icassolifelikeMan  over a year ago

Luton


"I was happy and approachable though, I was constantly having a laugh with everyone around me in work. It was the nitty gritty stuff. Hindsight, I *should* have just done what everyone was saying from the start, just ask the geezer out, that would have been less embarrassing than the way I went about it.

Was concentrating so much on trying to make sure I wouldn't be rejected but it happened anyway, I might as well have just said something as simple as we should do something after work. But no I think I come off as a weirdo, fuck, that dude was right.

Right scrap yazoo, can we have a new code word that means listen to what is being said now because we've been here before. New code word is 'fix up' it's only to be used when I'm seemingly ignoring advice on what is the best course of action. "

In the military that’s regarded as two words.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I was happy and approachable though, I was constantly having a laugh with everyone around me in work. It was the nitty gritty stuff. Hindsight, I *should* have just done what everyone was saying from the start, just ask the geezer out, that would have been less embarrassing than the way I went about it.

Was concentrating so much on trying to make sure I wouldn't be rejected but it happened anyway, I might as well have just said something as simple as we should do something after work. But no I think I come off as a weirdo, fuck, that dude was right.

Right scrap yazoo, can we have a new code word that means listen to what is being said now because we've been here before. New code word is 'fix up' it's only to be used when I'm seemingly ignoring advice on what is the best course of action.

In the military that’s regarded as two words.

"

It is two words, should have said new code phrase.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was happy and approachable though, I was constantly having a laugh with everyone around me in work. It was the nitty gritty stuff. Hindsight, I *should* have just done what everyone was saying from the start, just ask the geezer out, that would have been less embarrassing than the way I went about it.

Was concentrating so much on trying to make sure I wouldn't be rejected but it happened anyway, I might as well have just said something as simple as we should do something after work. But no I think I come off as a weirdo, fuck, that dude was right.

Right scrap yazoo, can we have a new code word that means listen to what is being said now because we've been here before. New code word is 'fix up' it's only to be used when I'm seemingly ignoring advice on what is the best course of action.

In the military that’s regarded as two words.

"

Endex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He might have not picked up on you saying you're interested. Men are idiots for the most part when it comes to that sort of thing. Best thing to do with them is be straightforward. Chin up, try again with the next one. That's what all the guys that get rejected do

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In the words of Rocky “It aint over till it’s over”.

But in future keep it simple, keep it low key.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"He might have not picked up on you saying you're interested. Men are idiots for the most part when it comes to that sort of thing. Best thing to do with them is be straightforward. Chin up, try again with the next one. That's what all the guys that get rejected do "

I think it was pretty obvious I was interested to be fair. I'd ask questions as to his relationship status, would laugh and joke with him, innuendos with sexual undertones, I think that's one of the things I shouldn't have done. It doesn't make me come off very well does it, makes me seem a bit smutty or slutty. Then I messaged him with my number saying if he was stuck I'd pick him up, that was stupid but he messaged back to that saying thanks for offering the the lift, you're a good one. I answered that in the morning saying no worries are you hungover? He read it and nothing. Then later later on my friend was like just send him a funny message so it was like a jokey one that we had joked about in work. Nothing bad, he read and didn't answer.

Now i feel awkward. Should have just left it. I haven't got any shifts with him for the foreseeable, working next Sunday but he doesn't work Sundays.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"In the words of Rocky “It aint over till it’s over”.

But in future keep it simple, keep it low key.

"

Oh it's done now. Like if you were interested in someone and they initiated contact, regardless of what they said, you'd get a conversation going.

I'm just doubting myself now cos it felt like he was interested. He was asking if I was still with that army dude I was saying and if I was still on the dating site (I told him the guy was from a dating site not here) I read it all wrong.

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By *icassolifelikeMan  over a year ago

Luton


"I was happy and approachable though, I was constantly having a laugh with everyone around me in work. It was the nitty gritty stuff. Hindsight, I *should* have just done what everyone was saying from the start, just ask the geezer out, that would have been less embarrassing than the way I went about it.

Was concentrating so much on trying to make sure I wouldn't be rejected but it happened anyway, I might as well have just said something as simple as we should do something after work. But no I think I come off as a weirdo, fuck, that dude was right.

Right scrap yazoo, can we have a new code word that means listen to what is being said now because we've been here before. New code word is 'fix up' it's only to be used when I'm seemingly ignoring advice on what is the best course of action.

In the military that’s regarded as two words.

Endex "

Lol the one word that’d send me into a physical climatic rapture!

Such a beautiful word. Especially on BATUS!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Being on fab I think can skew people’s views of non swinging interactions, especially if all the messages are from people solely telling you how great you are or how fantastic you are.

It reads a little bit like you didn’t regret your actions so much as now you feel vulnerable because you feel you were rebuffed. Being vulnerable isn’t such a bad thing, to my mind it says that you put yourself out there for him.

As for what to do now? Just continue as you did before, be friendly but leave it there. Rejection isn’t a bad thing, just don’t close down over it.

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

Yazoo

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By *icassolifelikeMan  over a year ago

Luton

In all seriousness OP. One door closes, another will open. Sure we all rue missed chances but don’t hold your life by it. Chin up!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In the words of Rocky “It aint over till it’s over”.

But in future keep it simple, keep it low key.

Oh it's done now. Like if you were interested in someone and they initiated contact, regardless of what they said, you'd get a conversation going.

I'm just doubting myself now cos it felt like he was interested. He was asking if I was still with that army dude I was saying and if I was still on the dating site (I told him the guy was from a dating site not here) I read it all wrong. "

I don’t know the guy, but there could be any reason he’s not responded.

1. He’s not interested

2. He feels the work/living so close thing is awkward and would prefer not to mix.

3. He’d rather ask you out himself, when he’s ready. He just might not be ready yet.

4. Maybe he is still in touch with his ex (as exes sometimes are) and is hoping they will work things out.

5. There’s another woman on the scene and he’s seeing where that goes.

There is one good thing, he hasn’t gotten sleazy or tried to take advantage of your feelings.

He might sense the sexual undertones and not want that. He might want to date you.

So whatever happens, you know he’s not a bloke who’s easily lead astray by a hot woman.

Leave the ball with him. Don’t push things.

Delete his number from your phone (if you have it) and just get on with your day.

If nothing else it’s a learning curve.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"In the words of Rocky “It aint over till it’s over”.

But in future keep it simple, keep it low key.

Oh it's done now. Like if you were interested in someone and they initiated contact, regardless of what they said, you'd get a conversation going.

I'm just doubting myself now cos it felt like he was interested. He was asking if I was still with that army dude I was saying and if I was still on the dating site (I told him the guy was from a dating site not here) I read it all wrong.

I don’t know the guy, but there could be any reason he’s not responded.

1. He’s not interested

2. He feels the work/living so close thing is awkward and would prefer not to mix.

3. He’d rather ask you out himself, when he’s ready. He just might not be ready yet.

4. Maybe he is still in touch with his ex (as exes sometimes are) and is hoping they will work things out.

5. There’s another woman on the scene and he’s seeing where that goes.

There is one good thing, he hasn’t gotten sleazy or tried to take advantage of your feelings.

He might sense the sexual undertones and not want that. He might want to date you.

So whatever happens, you know he’s not a bloke who’s easily lead astray by a hot woman.

Leave the ball with him. Don’t push things.

Delete his number from your phone (if you have it) and just get on with your day.

If nothing else it’s a learning curve."

You're right but I'm gonna have to see him at some point, do I carry on as normal and address what I did or just ignore it? I know the first time is gonna be awkward turtle!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In the words of Rocky “It aint over till it’s over”.

But in future keep it simple, keep it low key.

Oh it's done now. Like if you were interested in someone and they initiated contact, regardless of what they said, you'd get a conversation going.

I'm just doubting myself now cos it felt like he was interested. He was asking if I was still with that army dude I was saying and if I was still on the dating site (I told him the guy was from a dating site not here) I read it all wrong.

I don’t know the guy, but there could be any reason he’s not responded.

1. He’s not interested

2. He feels the work/living so close thing is awkward and would prefer not to mix.

3. He’d rather ask you out himself, when he’s ready. He just might not be ready yet.

4. Maybe he is still in touch with his ex (as exes sometimes are) and is hoping they will work things out.

5. There’s another woman on the scene and he’s seeing where that goes.

There is one good thing, he hasn’t gotten sleazy or tried to take advantage of your feelings.

He might sense the sexual undertones and not want that. He might want to date you.

So whatever happens, you know he’s not a bloke who’s easily lead astray by a hot woman.

Leave the ball with him. Don’t push things.

Delete his number from your phone (if you have it) and just get on with your day.

If nothing else it’s a learning curve.

You're right but I'm gonna have to see him at some point, do I carry on as normal and address what I did or just ignore it? I know the first time is gonna be awkward turtle! "

I would just ignore it. If he mentions it then he mentions it.

You sent him some messages, that’s nothing to feel bad about - it’s different if you sent him a fanny pic, that would be awkward, but you didn’t. So stay bright and breezy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x"

I over think everything. I can't help myself. Yeah just chill out now, damage control! Like I'll be normal but I ain't initiating shit, like if he comes to my area to chat, I'll chat but not enthusiastically kind of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x"

Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x

I over think everything. I can't help myself. Yeah just chill out now, damage control! Like I'll be normal but I ain't initiating shit, like if he comes to my area to chat, I'll chat but not enthusiastically kind of thing. "

I'm the opposite you'll never know what I'm thinking lol When he comes on just smile and say hi then look away. Ffs don't mention anything that's been said. Just be your chatty self if he comes near you but don't initiate any conversation. You've probably come off as a bit desperate so just be as calm as you can be. Still be friendly but don't go anywhere near him and delete his number. And please don't have flirty sex chat with him. It's awful when people do that. Honestly a funny laid back easy going female is worth their weight in gold. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x

I over think everything. I can't help myself. Yeah just chill out now, damage control! Like I'll be normal but I ain't initiating shit, like if he comes to my area to chat, I'll chat but not enthusiastically kind of thing. "

Just be you, don’t try to foresee what will happen next. Loads of us have been rejected in our time, you just get back on the horse (so to speak) and see what happens next. Take some time out maybe from looking and just enjoy the real world.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So you got rejected just once and it made you feel bad!

Get your big girl pants on, suck it up and move forward.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you got rejected just once and it made you feel bad!

Get your big girl pants on, suck it up and move forward.

"

Harsh, not everyone deals with rejection the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Oh god, now I'm cringing. I probably looked like a dog when the owner grabs the lead and says walkies. For fuck sake. He complimented my perfume and asked what it was, I should have said it's eau de desperation.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you got rejected just once and it made you feel bad!

Get your big girl pants on, suck it up and move forward.

Harsh, not everyone deals with rejection the same. "

Your right on that and this site does attract a lot of people with a lot of insecurities. It's so clear reading posts on the forums having said that getting booted into touch by somebody you like doesn't really warrant deep soul searching

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Would send you a more detailed response privately, unfortunately I can not.

However, in short. This is not about work guy. But what you want out of life.

You are a mum. A good mum. But you are also woman. A sexual woman who has needs and who wishes to share life with another adult.

You want the emotional connection.

Fab can definitely provide for one side of that (you are a beautiful woman, men flock to your door) and on rare occasions fab can provide relationships to.

BUT as many have said fab is a sex site. Not a dating site.

It is its own little world. And you can be sucked into the one night fuck and go.

That does not build anybody's self confidence.

Fab is like a sweet shop. You come in from time to time. Have a chocolate bar. But if you stay in it to long you become sick of eating chocolate but still want more.

So what do you do about it. Sorry no easy answer.

Wean yourself of the fab chocolate merrygo round.

Constant snacking is not good. A fab chocolate bar once or twice a month will keep cravings away.

Eat out more on a fresh diet. Gym, local clubs, interests that you enjoy and can connect with others on a brain stimulating level.

Link up with others like you. Their will be single parent fathers looking for someone to connect with just like you...

I hope you find yourself and what you are looking for.

Ultimately you are the one who can change things.

Mistress Amelia x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Would send you a more detailed response privately, unfortunately I can not.

However, in short. This is not about work guy. But what you want out of life.

You are a mum. A good mum. But you are also woman. A sexual woman who has needs and who wishes to share life with another adult.

You want the emotional connection.

Fab can definitely provide for one side of that (you are a beautiful woman, men flock to your door) and on rare occasions fab can provide relationships to.

BUT as many have said fab is a sex site. Not a dating site.

It is its own little world. And you can be sucked into the one night fuck and go.

That does not build anybody's self confidence.

Fab is like a sweet shop. You come in from time to time. Have a chocolate bar. But if you stay in it to long you become sick of eating chocolate but still want more.

So what do you do about it. Sorry no easy answer.

Wean yourself of the fab chocolate merrygo round.

Constant snacking is not good. A fab chocolate bar once or twice a month will keep cravings away.

Eat out more on a fresh diet. Gym, local clubs, interests that you enjoy and can connect with others on a brain stimulating level.

Link up with others like you. Their will be single parent fathers looking for someone to connect with just like you...

I hope you find yourself and what you are looking for.

Ultimately you are the one who can change things.

Mistress Amelia x

"

Great post

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Would send you a more detailed response privately, unfortunately I can not.

However, in short. This is not about work guy. But what you want out of life.

You are a mum. A good mum. But you are also woman. A sexual woman who has needs and who wishes to share life with another adult.

You want the emotional connection.

Fab can definitely provide for one side of that (you are a beautiful woman, men flock to your door) and on rare occasions fab can provide relationships to.

BUT as many have said fab is a sex site. Not a dating site.

It is its own little world. And you can be sucked into the one night fuck and go.

That does not build anybody's self confidence.

Fab is like a sweet shop. You come in from time to time. Have a chocolate bar. But if you stay in it to long you become sick of eating chocolate but still want more.

So what do you do about it. Sorry no easy answer.

Wean yourself of the fab chocolate merrygo round.

Constant snacking is not good. A fab chocolate bar once or twice a month will keep cravings away.

Eat out more on a fresh diet. Gym, local clubs, interests that you enjoy and can connect with others on a brain stimulating level.

Link up with others like you. Their will be single parent fathers looking for someone to connect with just like you...

I hope you find yourself and what you are looking for.

Ultimately you are the one who can change things.

Mistress Amelia x

Thanks, appreciated.

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh god, now I'm cringing. I probably looked like a dog when the owner grabs the lead and says walkies. For fuck sake. He complimented my perfume and asked what it was, I should have said it's eau de desperation. "

No you were the over enthusiastic puppy who grabbed the lead and ran to the door lol

Just laugh it off. Seriously when you think about it it's funny as fuck....least you know you made an impression lol x

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By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x"

This is good advice OP. You are over thinking things. I personally think relationships with co workers is a no go area but that’s just my opinion.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman  over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x"

Totally agree with this post. If you are feeling a bit jaded, maybe hide your profile for a bit and have some time out. Sometimes it helps to get things back in perspective. Don't feel bad about yourself. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't worry op. So you came across a bit kooky. So what? I don't think you exactly pulled your pants down and made a complete fool of yourself. So I don't think this situation is unsalvageable. You've had some good advice on this thread already. But I'd just add...

Hooking up with people is just something that naturally happens in normal everyday life. On here, with its heavily sexualised overtones and its cheeky mischievous aspect, the whole endeavour is quite thoroughly unnatural. That's not how it should be. In the real world if you pull up your skirt that's not how you get a guy to ask you out... that's how you get a guy to ask "how much for a blowie?"

So what you're looking to do with this guy is return things to a grounded honest normality. I worry about your recent flurry of texts and his not responding to them. Not good. Definitely don't send him any more texts. I suspect you've either got to back off for a while now and hope he'll forget you were a bit weird once or go through the front door and just apologise face to face if you've been a bit odd but you've been trying to find a way to ask him out but failed abysmally. I can't honestly say I'd have the balls to do the latter so I'd probably just put it down as another lesson learnt, move on, and hope that, with you acting more naturally again, he might notice you in a more desirable light.

Again. Good luck I think it's lovely that you have this happening in your life right now. I know many people on here would give their right arm to have a friend in real life they felt something amazing might happen with

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Stop the every man on here wants to have sex with me stuff op.

Chill,take a break, and stop trying so hard to get what you want.

Let it find you....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Don't worry op. So you came across a bit kooky. So what? I don't think you exactly pulled your pants down and made a complete fool of yourself. So I don't think this situation is unsalvageable. You've had some good advice on this thread already. But I'd just add...

Hooking up with people is just something that naturally happens in normal everyday life. On here, with its heavily sexualised overtones and its cheeky mischievous aspect, the whole endeavour is quite thoroughly unnatural. That's not how it should be. In the real world if you pull up your skirt that's not how you get a guy to ask you out... that's how you get a guy to ask "how much for a blowie?"

So what you're looking to do with this guy is return things to a grounded honest normality. I worry about your recent flurry of texts and his not responding to them. Not good. Definitely don't send him any more texts. I suspect you've either got to back off for a while now and hope he'll forget you were a bit weird once or go through the front door and just apologise face to face if you've been a bit odd but you've been trying to find a way to ask him out but failed abysmally. I can't honestly say I'd have the balls to do the latter so I'd probably just put it down as another lesson learnt, move on, and hope that, with you acting more naturally again, he might notice you in a more desirable light.

Again. Good luck I think it's lovely that you have this happening in your life right now. I know many people on here would give their right arm to have a friend in real life they felt something amazing might happen with "

This is where you could say I'm ultra weird but I'd be more comfortable saying to the guy look, I think I was getting a bit of a crush on you but it's passed now, can we please keep it between ourselves and not let any of these guys know that you blew me out cos I'm already embarrassed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is where you could say I'm ultra weird but I'd be more comfortable saying to the guy look, I think I was getting a bit of a crush on you but it's passed now, can we please keep it between ourselves and not let any of these guys know that you blew me out cos I'm already embarrassed. "

Don't do that. It's both awkward and vaguely insulting. "I used to think you were attractive but don't worry I don't any more". He hasn't blown you out. You haven't sent any clear signals to him. There's nothing particularly for him to gossip about.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He hasn't said no to you. So no need to be upset. He's just said no to your mode of approach. I would've too. You never gave him a clear moment to say yes or no to you. Your fear of rejection made you undermine it by trying to half let him know you may be into him in some weird obscure way and now you're looking to put on your armour, pretend he means nothing to you, and brush him off... wow! What a weird whirlwind for the guy. It's like being chucked before even having been asked out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is where you could say I'm ultra weird but I'd be more comfortable saying to the guy look, I think I was getting a bit of a crush on you but it's passed now, can we please keep it between ourselves and not let any of these guys know that you blew me out cos I'm already embarrassed.

Don't do that. It's both awkward and vaguely insulting. "I used to think you were attractive but don't worry I don't any more". He hasn't blown you out. You haven't sent any clear signals to him. There's nothing particularly for him to gossip about. "

Totally agree

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By *innamon!Woman  over a year ago

no matter

Does this new thread mean he turned you down? You closed the last one with saying (I may have missed it as it got boring and difficult to follow.

Are you annoyed that someone said no to your advances ?

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By *xycpl699Couple  over a year ago

kilmarnock


"Please just chill out. Your over thinking everything which is what got you into this mess in the first place. A couple of people on the previous thread hit the nail on the head and I think the fact some (a lot) of people egg you on or encourage you add fuel to the fire. One guy gave you really good advice and that got patched. You choose to go weird and off the rails a bit and ended up probably scaring him off but in the beginning when you were just funny he was coming back to see you. I'm not perfect but my god in my day to day life I'm as laid back and drama free as they come. It's served me well. Please please please don't listen to people on these threads telling you to text him and do this do that. I honestly think half of them thrive in and love the drama. Just chill the fuck out..take a step back and calm down x"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Does this new thread mean he turned you down? You closed the last one with saying (I may have missed it as it got boring and difficult to follow.

Are you annoyed that someone said no to your advances ? "

More embarrassed than annoyed, plus i was ignored rather than flat out told no.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh god, now I'm cringing. I probably looked like a dog when the owner grabs the lead and says walkies. For fuck sake. He complimented my perfume and asked what it was, I should have said it's eau de desperation. "

Why cringe? You didn't do anything wrong. Still be his mate at work, don't change how you are with him. He might fancy the arse off you but it might just be too close to home that's all. Better to leave it this way as mates than anything bad happen.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He’s either blind, gay or taken, sorry I know he’s your mate but wtf is he thinking?

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

Forget it and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is where you could say I'm ultra weird but I'd be more comfortable saying to the guy look, I think I was getting a bit of a crush on you but it's passed now, can we please keep it between ourselves and not let any of these guys know that you blew me out cos I'm already embarrassed.

Don't do that. It's both awkward and vaguely insulting. "I used to think you were attractive but don't worry I don't any more". He hasn't blown you out. You haven't sent any clear signals to him. There's nothing particularly for him to gossip about. "

I swear were related lol

Please listen to this guy OP. He really does make perfect sense x

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He’s either blind, gay or taken, sorry I know he’s your mate but wtf is he thinking? "

Why’s that ? So because the op is good looking your a fool if you don’t want to fuck her? Some men like woman are attracted to other things and not visual

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

On another note OP I would be having a serious word with your best pals in the real world for letting you make these desicions x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He’s either blind, gay or taken, sorry I know he’s your mate but wtf is he thinking?

Why’s that ? So because the op is good looking your a fool if you don’t want to fuck her? Some men like woman are attracted to other things and not visual "

If I was a betting man I'd wager that's an attempt to start the ball rolling

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He’s either blind, gay or taken, sorry I know he’s your mate but wtf is he thinking?

Why’s that ? So because the op is good looking your a fool if you don’t want to fuck her? Some men like woman are attracted to other things and not visual "

Mostly just read the forums but she seems great crack and a lot of fun from her posts I’ve read here, so not purely visual but admittedly yes that’s a major factor

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He’s either blind, gay or taken, sorry I know he’s your mate but wtf is he thinking?

Why’s that ? So because the op is good looking your a fool if you don’t want to fuck her? Some men like woman are attracted to other things and not visual

Mostly just read the forums but she seems great crack and a lot of fun from her posts I’ve read here, so not purely visual but admittedly yes that’s a major factor"

Just a huge sweeping statement. Obviously the guy in question has different opinions.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Does this new thread mean he turned you down? You closed the last one with saying (I may have missed it as it got boring and difficult to follow.

Are you annoyed that someone said no to your advances ?

More embarrassed than annoyed, plus i was ignored rather than flat out told no. "

You read no response as rejection. It may be but it could also be that he doesn't know how to respond.

Listen to Soulful. He's been your consistent friend and good counsel throughout this period. Let things unfold.

I'd add only that what is meant for you will come to you... as long as you don't sabotage it before it has a chance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts? "

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages.

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts? "

That does appear to be all that has happened. In a heightened 'reality' it appears bigger than that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"He’s either blind, gay or taken, sorry I know he’s your mate but wtf is he thinking?

Why’s that ? So because the op is good looking your a fool if you don’t want to fuck her? Some men like woman are attracted to other things and not visual "

You're attracted to visual things though so what's your point?

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By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages. "

The only way you will really know is if you speak to him in person, find out his thoughts. No point assuming anything.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages. "

Perhaps he was just busy and then forget/has had other priorities?

I don't think that's a massive issue tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages. "

I have good friends who are rubbish at replying to texts. They genuinely just forget to reply. Just wait and see. And if he never does, it’s not the end of the world. You just go back to how life was before you sent them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages.

The only way you will really know is if you speak to him in person, find out his thoughts. No point assuming anything. "

I'm sure a lot of people on here would love it if I walked up to him and asked him what his thoughts were.

Not doing that.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages.

The only way you will really know is if you speak to him in person, find out his thoughts. No point assuming anything.

I'm sure a lot of people on here would love it if I walked up to him and asked him what his thoughts were.

Not doing that. "

No, don't blame you. Play it cool

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By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages.

The only way you will really know is if you speak to him in person, find out his thoughts. No point assuming anything.

I'm sure a lot of people on here would love it if I walked up to him and asked him what his thoughts were.

Not doing that. "

So you’re just going to guess for ever more? Only way to truly know is to speak to him. You may find he isn’t comfortable sending texts etc in this regard, some people aren’t.

Whatever you decide whether it’s to guess or confront I wish you well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know. "

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now"

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit. "

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended"

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion. "

Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo.

Anyway, hope it works out for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion.

Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo.

Anyway, hope it works out for you"

I'm not upset I'm embarrassed and this was a wake up call, I'm not gonna ignore it. I have spent too much time on this site and not on dating people in the real world.

Unless the criticism is constructive I'm not in the mood for negativity or pointless opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion.

Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo.

Anyway, hope it works out for you

I'm not upset I'm embarrassed and this was a wake up call, I'm not gonna ignore it. I have spent too much time on this site and not on dating people in the real world.

Unless the criticism is constructive I'm not in the mood for negativity or pointless opinions. "

What you call negativity I call the truth and for someone looking to spend less time on here you seem to have spent a fair chunk of today on here.

Ill leave you with this piece of advice, and it's not intended to offend I'm just telling you my honest view....

Get a grip

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion.

Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo.

Anyway, hope it works out for you

I'm not upset I'm embarrassed and this was a wake up call, I'm not gonna ignore it. I have spent too much time on this site and not on dating people in the real world.

Unless the criticism is constructive I'm not in the mood for negativity or pointless opinions.

What you call negativity I call the truth and for someone looking to spend less time on here you seem to have spent a fair chunk of today on here.

Ill leave you with this piece of advice, and it's not intended to offend I'm just telling you my honest view....

Get a grip "

Shove it up your arse.

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By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion.

Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo.

Anyway, hope it works out for you

I'm not upset I'm embarrassed and this was a wake up call, I'm not gonna ignore it. I have spent too much time on this site and not on dating people in the real world.

Unless the criticism is constructive I'm not in the mood for negativity or pointless opinions. "

I think you’ve had a mixture of advice OP. When you put up a thread like this you’re never going to get everyone giving you the advice you want to hear. You’re going to get a mixed bag and that’s what you have got. Whether you choose to take advice is up to you but I don’t think you should be giving people abuse for commenting. I’m sure whatever you decide to do is best for you. My advice is just follow your gut feeling and you’ll not go wrong

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion.

Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo.

Anyway, hope it works out for you

I'm not upset I'm embarrassed and this was a wake up call, I'm not gonna ignore it. I have spent too much time on this site and not on dating people in the real world.

Unless the criticism is constructive I'm not in the mood for negativity or pointless opinions.

I think you’ve had a mixture of advice OP. When you put up a thread like this you’re never going to get everyone giving you the advice you want to hear. You’re going to get a mixed bag and that’s what you have got. Whether you choose to take advice is up to you but I don’t think you should be giving people abuse for commenting. I’m sure whatever you decide to do is best for you. My advice is just follow your gut feeling and you’ll not go wrong "

Great post

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Best thing is to just see how it is when I eventually do have to see him again. If he keeps his distance and doesn't come to talk to me or isn't all smiles when he comes over then I'll know.

Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life.

When all is said and done your still not seeing a guy you weren't seeing in the first place.

It's a shame you weren't born ugly like me , I'm well used to rejection now

No, I'm simply saying that I'm not about to go up to the dude and ask him what his thoughts are, I'll just wait and see how things are when I see him.

Fuck what's so bad about asking people for advice.

Why do people get so pissy about it, honestly if my threads do people's heads in then don't read them, don't force anybody to read my shit.

I wasn't being pissy just giving an opinion....

No offence intended

I wasn't offended by your comment, just struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with this guy my whole life!? At no point have I ever said we were together so don't know how you've come to that conclusion.

Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo.

Anyway, hope it works out for you

I'm not upset I'm embarrassed and this was a wake up call, I'm not gonna ignore it. I have spent too much time on this site and not on dating people in the real world.

Unless the criticism is constructive I'm not in the mood for negativity or pointless opinions.

I think you’ve had a mixture of advice OP. When you put up a thread like this you’re never going to get everyone giving you the advice you want to hear. You’re going to get a mixed bag and that’s what you have got. Whether you choose to take advice is up to you but I don’t think you should be giving people abuse for commenting. I’m sure whatever you decide to do is best for you. My advice is just follow your gut feeling and you’ll not go wrong "

Right read what was said to me, it's pretty easy, it's all contained within this quote but to make it easier I'll summarise.

•He said "Your making this sound like you have been with this guy your whole life" I said I'm struggling to see how or where I've made out I've been with the guy my whole life, at no point have I ever said we were together.

•He said "Your level of upset and soul searching seems a bit disproportionate to what happened imo". I replied saying I'm not upset I'm embarrassed and it's a wake up call that I've spent too much time on here rather than dating in the real world.

•He said "

Ill leave you with this piece of advice, and it's not intended to offend I'm just telling you my honest view....

Get a grip"

Yet I'm the one that's being abusive, I wouldn't even call that abuse, I've suffered real abusive comments on here so don't think the word should be used so casually to describe something that isn't abuse.

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By *good-being-badMan  over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start. "

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?

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By *good-being-badMan  over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?"

I mentioned it because this situation from the outside seems similar ....it seems the advice you were given previously wasn't taken .

Hope you find what you're looking for

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?"

To be fair, others do get past shit brought up. It's not just you.

Take a break. Take a breath. Don't start another thread about it immediately one closes. Let it go.

Good luck and enjoy tomorrow as a new day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?

I mentioned it because this situation from the outside seems similar ....it seems the advice you were given previously wasn't taken .

Hope you find what you're looking for "

It's nothing similar at all. The army guy I met on here, he'd said that he wanted the same things as me, we met twice had sex and then after telling me we would meet again he blanked me.

That's nothing like this, can't give the same advice to a situation that isn't the same. Can't treat a guy from the real world the same as a guy from here.

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By *good-being-badMan  over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?

I mentioned it because this situation from the outside seems similar ....it seems the advice you were given previously wasn't taken .

Hope you find what you're looking for

It's nothing similar at all. The army guy I met on here, he'd said that he wanted the same things as me, we met twice had sex and then after telling me we would meet again he blanked me.

That's nothing like this, can't give the same advice to a situation that isn't the same. Can't treat a guy from the real world the same as a guy from here. "

The folk may have changed , the circumstances you met may be different however Your responses to the situations are similar ..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?

To be fair, others do get past shit brought up. It's not just you.

Take a break. Take a breath. Don't start another thread about it immediately one closes. Let it go.

Good luck and enjoy tomorrow as a new day.

"

Hey .. you are younger than a lot of us on here but have a very wise head on your shoulders having read your posts.

Simple advice is to be just yourself and what works will work for you and what doesn’t will not..

If you don’t like the results it’s up to you to change.. not anybody else... good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hmmm, I think you've almost answered your own question really. You're the swinging headspace and not a dating one.

Perhaps you need to leave swinging behind and give yourself space to adjust to having more regular relationships? Nothing wrong with that.

But even then guys who fancy you will usually be thinking about sex with you, although not necessarily in the same way as Fabsters. It's just natural.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Marry the guy at the gym and have his babies it's the only way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh bless you OP. I have no advice but I know exactly what you mean. I get a deluge of messages on here but I'm also on a dating site and nada.. zilch.. nothing !

Fab can skew your opinions about what makes you attractive I guess.. it all feels very confusing.

I hope one of the replies on here helps.

X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh bless you OP. I have no advice but I know exactly what you mean. I get a deluge of messages on here but I'm also on a dating site and nada.. zilch.. nothing !

Fab can skew your opinions about what makes you attractive I guess.. it all feels very confusing.

I hope one of the replies on here helps.

X

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?

I mentioned it because this situation from the outside seems similar ....it seems the advice you were given previously wasn't taken .

Hope you find what you're looking for

It's nothing similar at all. The army guy I met on here, he'd said that he wanted the same things as me, we met twice had sex and then after telling me we would meet again he blanked me.

That's nothing like this, can't give the same advice to a situation that isn't the same. Can't treat a guy from the real world the same as a guy from here.

The folk may have changed , the circumstances you met may be different however Your responses to the situations are similar ..

"

I have to disagree because with that situation I was discussing how I felt used. Unless people have highly superior autobiographical memories it's best to just give advice/opinions based on the topic that's being discussed, I give enough information about whatever the topic is so drawing reference from the past can only lead to crossed wires.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I remember some of the older threads from you op.. about the army guy who didn't answer some whatsapp message after reading them.. seems to be a revolving door .. the only advice I offer and I've said it previously never mix business and pleasure..

after that i don't know much other than what I've read and..to be honest I'd not know where to start.

Is it fair to bring up past shit? Do other members have past problems brought up every time they ask for advice or am I just fair game?

I mentioned it because this situation from the outside seems similar ....it seems the advice you were given previously wasn't taken .

Hope you find what you're looking for

It's nothing similar at all. The army guy I met on here, he'd said that he wanted the same things as me, we met twice had sex and then after telling me we would meet again he blanked me.

That's nothing like this, can't give the same advice to a situation that isn't the same. Can't treat a guy from the real world the same as a guy from here.

The folk may have changed , the circumstances you met may be different however Your responses to the situations are similar ..

I have to disagree because with that situation I was discussing how I felt used. Unless people have highly superior autobiographical memories it's best to just give advice/opinions based on the topic that's being discussed, I give enough information about whatever the topic is so drawing reference from the past can only lead to crossed wires.

"

Ok ...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you got rejected just once and it made you feel bad!

Get your big girl pants on, suck it up and move forward.

Harsh, not everyone deals with rejection the same. "

Maybe it's about maturity.

Seems like it's been blown out of all proportion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?"

I really wouldn’t bother...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?"

Embarrassed cos I have to work with the dude.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So you got rejected just once and it made you feel bad!

Get your big girl pants on, suck it up and move forward.

Harsh, not everyone deals with rejection the same.

Maybe it's about maturity.

Seems like it's been blown out of all proportion."

Maybe I'll be more mature when I'm your age then.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?

Embarrassed cos I have to work with the dude. "

Why? Drama queen springs to mind after all the posts ffs

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?

Embarrassed cos I have to work with the dude.

Why? Drama queen springs to mind after all the posts ffs "

Umm why are you starting on me as well now when a few comments ago you were saying nice things.

Try not answering back when people are constantly having digs at you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?

Embarrassed cos I have to work with the dude.

Why? Drama queen springs to mind after all the posts ffs

"

Your first post before you have a pop...

Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?

Embarrassed cos I have to work with the dude.

Why? Drama queen springs to mind after all the posts ffs

Your first post before you have a pop...

Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now."

Yes I'm aware of what I wrote because I actually wrote it. What's drama queen about that?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you got rejected just once and it made you feel bad!

Get your big girl pants on, suck it up and move forward.

Harsh, not everyone deals with rejection the same.

Maybe it's about maturity.

Seems like it's been blown out of all proportion.

Maybe I'll be more mature when I'm your age then. "

Doubtful.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Based on this thread I understand how the object of OPs desires reached his decision haha.

In all seriousness if this is the biggest problem on your plate then your doing well.

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By *oxiAnneWoman  over a year ago

Not on a Hot Gin Roof :/

I kinda get what you’re saying OP.

I’ve had to ‘toughen up’ to stay on here, had to keep feelings in check, not allow anyone to be to close and vice versa. I hear on a daily basis how “stunning” & “amazing” I am - it’s all BS, or the vast majority is and it’s left me rather desensitised to most things of a sexual nature.

I can also imagine it could also give someone a completely skewed vision / sense of self.

The answer? Lessen the time spent on here, which for me has helped.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I kinda get what you’re saying OP.

I’ve had to ‘toughen up’ to stay on here, had to keep feelings in check, not allow anyone to be to close and vice versa. I hear on a daily basis how “stunning” & “amazing” I am - it’s all BS, or the vast majority is and it’s left me rather desensitised to most things of a sexual nature.

I can also imagine it could also give someone a completely skewed vision / sense of self.

The answer? Lessen the time spent on here, which for me has helped.

"

Never a truer word spoken when it comes to Boeing on here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?

Embarrassed cos I have to work with the dude.

Why? Drama queen springs to mind after all the posts ffs "

Who’s the new guy ? ^^^^^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I kinda get what you’re saying OP.

I’ve had to ‘toughen up’ to stay on here, had to keep feelings in check, not allow anyone to be to close and vice versa. I hear on a daily basis how “stunning” & “amazing” I am - it’s all BS, or the vast majority is and it’s left me rather desensitised to most things of a sexual nature.

I can also imagine it could also give someone a completely skewed vision / sense of self.

The answer? Lessen the time spent on here, which for me has helped.

"

This is very true. Advice I too will take on board

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So you both had a bit of a flirt

You messaged and he didn't reciprocate

And now you're upset?

Sorry just trying to get to grips with it all?

Embarrassed cos I have to work with the dude.

Why? Drama queen springs to mind after all the posts ffs

Your first post before you have a pop...

Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now.

Yes I'm aware of what I wrote because I actually wrote it. What's drama queen about that? "

Because you opened a topic and invited views yet any views that didn't cuddle you or reinforce your own you attacked.

As I said earlier your not dating a lad you've never dated and feel a bit embarrassed.

I make a tit of myself every day, trust me nobody cares so don't be embarrassed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Was mailing you this before I got blocked for no reason i can see.. hey ho;

If you forget about the past and move on that will be good for you. If he follows, it’s meant to be. If not you can hold your head high and go from there ... be a shark.. always move forward xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I can't even deal.

Came in from the city walked into the door

I turned around when I heard the sound of footsteps on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

I don't just use one avenue for meeting, shags or dating, as it keeps me on my toes and gives variety and challenges.

Switch things around to keep yourself in flux, stretch your muscles and grow

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I can't even deal.

Came in from the city walked into the door

I turned around when I heard the sound of footsteps on the floor"

Don’t Go

Yazoo lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x"

Perhaps but then I know I'd miss the forums, also would lose my advice outlet. Definitely putting my age filters on 99 to stop messages. Put my pics to friends only and not meeting anyone on here, that's easy enough done as it's been months and months.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x

Perhaps but then I know I'd miss the forums, also would lose my advice outlet. Definitely putting my age filters on 99 to stop messages. Put my pics to friends only and not meeting anyone on here, that's easy enough done as it's been months and months. "

It’s up to you how you move forward... any more song quotes?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm sorry but where are your best pals. Something happens in life...you message your best mate. They call you a fud...tell you what to do then you talk about love island or whatever else that's going on in your life. Job done. And whoever mentioned revolving door. Yip that springs to mind x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm sorry but where are your best pals. Something happens in life...you message your best mate. They call you a fud...tell you what to do then you talk about love island or whatever else that's going on in your life. Job done. And whoever mentioned revolving door. Yip that springs to mind x"

I only have one best friend and her mum died on the 27th of may and she's not dealing with it very well. I can't dump trivial shit at her door at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x

Perhaps but then I know I'd miss the forums, also would lose my advice outlet. Definitely putting my age filters on 99 to stop messages. Put my pics to friends only and not meeting anyone on here, that's easy enough done as it's been months and months.

It’s up to you how you move forward... any more song quotes? "

Yeah, Let it go !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm sorry but where are your best pals. Something happens in life...you message your best mate. They call you a fud...tell you what to do then you talk about love island or whatever else that's going on in your life. Job done. And whoever mentioned revolving door. Yip that springs to mind x

I only have one best friend and her mum died on the 27th of may and she's not dealing with it very well. I can't dump trivial shit at her door at the moment. "

You've been asking advice and doing threads since I joined this site. She might also be thankful for the distraction and a bit of normality x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm sorry but where are your best pals. Something happens in life...you message your best mate. They call you a fud...tell you what to do then you talk about love island or whatever else that's going on in your life. Job done. And whoever mentioned revolving door. Yip that springs to mind x

I only have one best friend and her mum died on the 27th of may and she's not dealing with it very well. I can't dump trivial shit at her door at the moment. "

You ain’t stupid and you will find what your looking for .. xx

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan  over a year ago

here


"trivial shit "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x

Perhaps but then I know I'd miss the forums, also would lose my advice outlet. Definitely putting my age filters on 99 to stop messages. Put my pics to friends only and not meeting anyone on here, that's easy enough done as it's been months and months. "

I know you don't like anything you see as criticism.

This isn't criticism this is a genuine bit of advice.

If a website is your advice outlet and your main social hub and that website is causing you issues in the real world then you need to leave.

Any forum should be fun and no more than a passing interest.

Don't take this the wrong way but very few, if anybody gives a fuck about anyone else on here.

I accept there are some genuine friendships but almost all relationships are shallow as fuck.

People think they have friends 600 miles away saying good morning etc. They aren't friends, just people with the same urges as you.

If I was you I'd leave here for a while and focus on the real world because this place, as entertaining as it can be is at best shallow

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By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x

Perhaps but then I know I'd miss the forums, also would lose my advice outlet. Definitely putting my age filters on 99 to stop messages. Put my pics to friends only and not meeting anyone on here, that's easy enough done as it's been months and months.

I know you don't like anything you see as criticism.

This isn't criticism this is a genuine bit of advice.

If a website is your advice outlet and your main social hub and that website is causing you issues in the real world then you need to leave.

Any forum should be fun and no more than a passing interest.

Don't take this the wrong way but very few, if anybody gives a fuck about anyone else on here.

I accept there are some genuine friendships but almost all relationships are shallow as fuck.

People think they have friends 600 miles away saying good morning etc. They aren't friends, just people with the same urges as you.

If I was you I'd leave here for a while and focus on the real world because this place, as entertaining as it can be is at best shallow"

Good advice...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x

Perhaps but then I know I'd miss the forums, also would lose my advice outlet. Definitely putting my age filters on 99 to stop messages. Put my pics to friends only and not meeting anyone on here, that's easy enough done as it's been months and months.

I know you don't like anything you see as criticism.

This isn't criticism this is a genuine bit of advice.

If a website is your advice outlet and your main social hub and that website is causing you issues in the real world then you need to leave.

Any forum should be fun and no more than a passing interest.

Don't take this the wrong way but very few, if anybody gives a fuck about anyone else on here.

I accept there are some genuine friendships but almost all relationships are shallow as fuck.

People think they have friends 600 miles away saying good morning etc. They aren't friends, just people with the same urges as you.

If I was you I'd leave here for a while and focus on the real world because this place, as entertaining as it can be is at best shallow

Good advice... "

This is the real world we are real people going about our everyday business everyday, sex if that's what you see this as is an everyday occurrence, we chat and we meet people who have similar likes and dislikes to us....... We don't become different people because we are here, some may be ashamed of their desire for as much sex as possible that's why they keep it quiet that they are members if this club,some may hide behind their words and some are just lonely and need company but this is life........ No disguising it as anything else

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By *he riverdeep69Couple  over a year ago

North west ish

He's not into you - get over it! Dust yourself down, leave the site and focus on the real world.

Tho I suspect you will still be here with the same problems in 10 years time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He's not into you - get over it! Dust yourself down, leave the site and focus on the real world.

Tho I suspect you will still be here with the same problems in 10 years time."

part 28

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

I know you don't like anything you see as criticism.

This isn't criticism this is a genuine bit of advice.

If a website is your advice outlet and your main social hub and that website is causing you issues in the real world then you need to leave.

Any forum should be fun and no more than a passing interest.

Don't take this the wrong way but very few, if anybody gives a fuck about anyone else on here.

I accept there are some genuine friendships but almost all relationships are shallow as fuck.

People think they have friends 600 miles away saying good morning etc. They aren't friends, just people with the same urges as you.

If I was you I'd leave here for a while and focus on the real world because this place, as entertaining as it can be is at best shallow"

Oh for fuck sake. Stop taking everything I say so literally and adding things I haven't even said.

Yes I said this is my advice outlet, but it's not my only source of advice, every cunt on here posts threads asking for advice, should everybody leave as well then? Also never did I say this is my main social hub, putting words in my mouth.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"He's not into you - get over it! Dust yourself down, leave the site and focus on the real world.

Tho I suspect you will still be here with the same problems in 10 years time."

Thanks for the advice 1of 9.

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By *oxiAnneWoman  over a year ago

Not on a Hot Gin Roof :/


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x

Perhaps but then I know I'd miss the forums, also would lose my advice outlet. Definitely putting my age filters on 99 to stop messages. Put my pics to friends only and not meeting anyone on here, that's easy enough done as it's been months and months.

I know you don't like anything you see as criticism.

This isn't criticism this is a genuine bit of advice.

If a website is your advice outlet and your main social hub and that website is causing you issues in the real world then you need to leave.

Any forum should be fun and no more than a passing interest.

Don't take this the wrong way but very few, if anybody gives a fuck about anyone else on here.

I accept there are some genuine friendships but almost all relationships are shallow as fuck.

People think they have friends 600 miles away saying good morning etc. They aren't friends, just people with the same urges as you.

If I was you I'd leave here for a while and focus on the real world because this place, as entertaining as it can be is at best shallow

Good advice... This is the real world we are real people going about our everyday business everyday, sex if that's what you see this as is an everyday occurrence, we chat and we meet people who have similar likes and dislikes to us....... We don't become different people because we are here, some may be ashamed of their desire for as much sex as possible that's why they keep it quiet that they are members if this club,some may hide behind their words and some are just lonely and need company but this is life........ No disguising it as anything else "

It’s not really like the real world though is it? My other social media accounts don’t have these kind of pictures on them that’s for sure

It’s an outlet for sex (which is real) but I think it’s pretty naive to think that everyone and / or scenarios are the same offline as they are on.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I kinda get what you’re saying OP.

I’ve had to ‘toughen up’ to stay on here, had to keep feelings in check, not allow anyone to be to close and vice versa. I hear on a daily basis how “stunning” & “amazing” I am - it’s all BS, or the vast majority is and it’s left me rather desensitised to most things of a sexual nature.

I can also imagine it could also give someone a completely skewed vision / sense of self.

The answer? Lessen the time spent on here, which for me has helped.

"

I miss you.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple  over a year ago

North west ish


"He's not into you - get over it! Dust yourself down, leave the site and focus on the real world.

Tho I suspect you will still be here with the same problems in 10 years time.

Thanks for the advice 1of 9. "

Care to explain?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now. "

Been on here a few months and felt this way. I have future plans/real-world events planned now away from here. Went LIMF yesterday and liked it just need to use this less than I did before.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

boo hoo

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think you've been here too long as all your posts read the same dramas xx

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By *uciyassMan  over a year ago

sheffield

I’m not 100% sure I get you on this thread but all I can say is enjoy what you have and live for the moment. I’m sure it will all click together eventually very much like your name changes which I really don’t get?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo "
cynic

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd ignore pretty much everything on this thread op. You seem like a normal enough person. You just got in a little tizzle because you got too excited about a guy who you maybe thought might reject your advances, so kinda went about things a bit clutzy. Heck. This happens to the best of us.

When I laid myself bare on here about my dating, people accused me of over thinking or being a serial dater. You've done a similar thing with this guy, letting us all in on the microscopic detail. Both imo make the forum a more interesting place, seeing inside the way people think and how they approach something. So, thanks for sharing. But I think both also come across as a bit egomanic, even though that may not be the intention at all, and so people start reacting to them as that. Either grow a thick skin and try to ignore the criticisms, be more discerning about when you want to share what with us, or just give the forums a break for a while.

I for one have enjoyed reading how even a highly desired woman like yourself has issues with rejection that can cause her to act weird around a guy. Women like you can sometimes seem like aliens from another planet to average guys. It's nice to find something in you that we can all probably relate to

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo "

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sometimes i think people open themselves up on the internet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo cynic"

and?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

And to the op

Nothing is making you stay here you can delete anytime.

If its toxic as you claim im some of your posts, cut it out delete start over

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't beat yourself up op, we have all been there at some point the best thing to do is just try and laugh about it with your friends,you come across as a very emotional lady and there's nothing wrong with that ,relax a little and try not to over thing things x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?"

it’s an opinion just like everybody else’s !!!

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"boo hoo

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?

it’s an opinion just like everybody else’s !!!"

What opinion?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?

it’s an opinion just like everybody else’s !!!"

oh so boo hoo is an opinion then????

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By *oodnitegirlWoman  over a year ago

Yorkshire

My advice might not be u to much as I feel love missed the majority of the back story but I think you should maybe just say “hey I’m child free fri night, don’t suppose you fancy a drink”?

Men are sometimes a bit thick if you don’t put it in black and white, that and he may not have the bollocks to ask you himself.

Remember though. It’s a date you want, not just another shag.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?

it’s an opinion just like everybody else’s !!!

oh so boo hoo is an opinion then????"

bore off

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?

it’s an opinion just like everybody else’s !!!

oh so boo hoo is an opinion then????

bore off "

so childish, try being an adult

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By *izzy RascallMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"boo hoo

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?

it’s an opinion just like everybody else’s !!!

oh so boo hoo is an opinion then????

bore off "

bore off classic comeback

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Guys in the offline world are no that different from the online ones you can come across on here. They are just less straight forward in their approaches.

Having said, I can totally understand why your fab experience made you think that you are totally disconected with the offline world when it comes to dating.

I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My advice might not be u to much as I feel love missed the majority of the back story but I think you should maybe just say “hey I’m child free fri night, don’t suppose you fancy a drink”?

Men are sometimes a bit thick if you don’t put it in black and white, that and he may not have the bollocks to ask you himself.

Remember though. It’s a date you want, not just another shag.

"

I've found women can be the same; not quite sure if they're reading you right. That's why, if I like a woman, I'll often state that bluntly "I like you". It just makes everything so much clearer and you can see the confusion and holding back lift off her and next you're laughing and relaxing more freely with each other.... and maybe even kissing

btw It was my understanding that the op just wanted to fuck this dude and that was all. Did that change at some point along the way?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My advice might not be u to much as I feel love missed the majority of the back story but I think you should maybe just say “hey I’m child free fri night, don’t suppose you fancy a drink”?

Men are sometimes a bit thick if you don’t put it in black and white, that and he may not have the bollocks to ask you himself.

Remember though. It’s a date you want, not just another shag.

I've found women can be the same; not quite sure if they're reading you right. That's why, if I like a woman, I'll often state that bluntly "I like you". It just makes everything so much clearer and you can see the confusion and holding back lift off her and next you're laughing and relaxing more freely with each other.... and maybe even kissing

btw It was my understanding that the op just wanted to fuck this dude and that was all. Did that change at some point along the way? "

she's got a great figure don't you think.... I do

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"boo hoo

if you don't have anything decent to say why bother replying?

it’s an opinion just like everybody else’s !!!

oh so boo hoo is an opinion then????

bore off

so childish, try being an adult"

how rude

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By *oodnitegirlWoman  over a year ago

Yorkshire


"My advice might not be u to much as I feel love missed the majority of the back story but I think you should maybe just say “hey I’m child free fri night, don’t suppose you fancy a drink”?

Men are sometimes a bit thick if you don’t put it in black and white, that and he may not have the bollocks to ask you himself.

Remember though. It’s a date you want, not just another shag.

I've found women can be the same; not quite sure if they're reading you right. That's why, if I like a woman, I'll often state that bluntly "I like you". It just makes everything so much clearer and you can see the confusion and holding back lift off her and next you're laughing and relaxing more freely with each other.... and maybe even kissing

btw It was my understanding that the op just wanted to fuck this dude and that was all. Did that change at some point along the way? "

No, I think I’m just all mixed up now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My advice might not be u to much as I feel love missed the majority of the back story but I think you should maybe just say “hey I’m child free fri night, don’t suppose you fancy a drink”?

Men are sometimes a bit thick if you don’t put it in black and white, that and he may not have the bollocks to ask you himself.

Remember though. It’s a date you want, not just another shag.

I've found women can be the same; not quite sure if they're reading you right. That's why, if I like a woman, I'll often state that bluntly "I like you". It just makes everything so much clearer and you can see the confusion and holding back lift off her and next you're laughing and relaxing more freely with each other.... and maybe even kissing

btw It was my understanding that the op just wanted to fuck this dude and that was all. Did that change at some point along the way?

No, I think I’m just all mixed up now. "

damn see shaken not stirred..... Always the better way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Been on this site for almost 8 years. That's age 27 to 35. Prior to that I had almost 2 years of nothing as I was pregnant and then being full on new mum. Prior to that I was with my ex for almost 9 years so that was 17 to 25 (I hadn't had my birthday yet when we split)

What I'm saying is I feel very disconnected with the real world when it comes to the opposite sex, not on about connecting with my peers and my friends.

On here every man wants to have sex with me or every man I've ever approached on here has wanted to, feel like it's made me jaded.

Yes on the rare occasions I go on a night out I pull and have offers, there was even that army guy that I met in a bar in 2014 that I aprroaches and from there we dated for 6 months before he went away and kept in contact for a couple of years following.

So I'm talking about my work colleague but DON'T want the thread to be solely about that. Just the way I went about it all was slightly retarded and awkward.

I genuinely thought the signs were there but then I'm so out of the game when it comes to real life situations, I don't really know what the fuck goes on.

Like on here it's simple, guy messages me or I'll see a guy I like and I'll message him, more pictures are exchanged, get happy with how they look and then meet and have sex and it's done.

I went about things all arsed backwards and yeah like a fucking weirdo.

Don't even know what I'm asking here, damage control? Like I didn't outright ask him out but my interest in him was definitely declared. My friend said just be the same, have a laugh like I always do but cut the flirtiness.

I was probably reading it all wrong anyway, false confidence from beingbon here too long and assuming every guy wants to have it off.

Need to practice in the real world, like try and get some dates with people and just practice being a normal human being.

Thoughts, cos I feel like an absolute dick head right now. "

Sounds like you had a short experience of what it's like to be a man on here. End of the day fab is not life. Think the women that are objective about fab realise that a lot of the men on here only have interest in shagging them and nothing else. Have had a few females say to me how it sometimes feel like a fantasy world where you dictate what you want... if you're a woman that is.

Men are generally looser because society doesn't criticise them for having lots of sexual partners. So with that in mind, and the fact our bodies are designed to reproduce with more than one woman, men are kinda dogs on here... me included. Those that say they are not are probably trying to get in your pants.

Guess what I'm trying to say is just because you get a lot of attention on here doesn't really mean anything but men want to have sex with you. Harsh but it's reality. I would never consider myself as shallow but I have slept with a few girls from here or in clubs that if I met at work I would never. Not just because of looks, but mainly because we have nothing in common or it wouldn't be worth the hassle having to see them every day at work.

Chin up though girl! My mate's call it door banging. Gotta keep knocking until someone answers

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Being on fab I think can skew people’s views of non swinging interactions, especially if all the messages are from people solely telling you how great you are or how fantastic you are.

It reads a little bit like you didn’t regret your actions so much as now you feel vulnerable because you feel you were rebuffed. Being vulnerable isn’t such a bad thing, to my mind it says that you put yourself out there for him.

As for what to do now? Just continue as you did before, be friendly but leave it there. Rejection isn’t a bad thing, just don’t close down over it."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex. "

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please

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By *uciyassMan  over a year ago

sheffield


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please "

Have you maybe though that you and OP may be a match.

Maybe a wedding on the cards. Hats at the ready everyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please "

I'm getting what you're saying you're looking for a woman that's intellectually stimulating but also has the sexiest body and I demure and not at all egotistical...... Am I right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please I'm getting what you're saying you're looking for a woman that's intellectually stimulating but also has the sexiest body and I demure and not at all egotistical...... Am I right? "

and is

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Might be a good thing. Bring you back to reality and realise that not everyone is going to be attracted to you. That's life right: no point in getting upset about it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Might be a good thing. Bring you back to reality and realise that not everyone is going to be attracted to you. That's life right: no point in getting upset about it"
Very philosophical and I agree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please "

Don't be sorry I still loveyou anyway haha

I think that it is important to analyse actions/behaviours rather than words. Relationships cannot be reduced two people who simply get along. I have came across so many people and I am sure that people may have experienced it as well, who says what they think you want to hear in order to get something they want from you. So analyse behaviours rather than words do not seem to far fetched if you want to share your intimacy and your life with someone.

Now when it comes to taking your time when it comes to sex, it highly depends on the view you have of it and the view you have on relationships. I don't think that sex/lust can be separated to somes scripts that one has acquired thorough ones life, therefore some sexual may have been assimilated to something pejorative. The foundation on a healthy relationship that will allow to develop and eventually turns into a family must been based on common principles rather than sex chemistry in my opinion. So analyse the person's principles before getting intimated with him/her is necessary.

I am very in the same set of mind as you when in comes to no games however, itis foolish to think that people do not do game mind, sometimes even unconsciously they do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please

Don't be sorry I still loveyou anyway haha

I think that it is important to analyse actions/behaviours rather than words. Relationships cannot be reduced two people who simply get along. I have came across so many people and I am sure that people may have experienced it as well, who says what they think you want to hear in order to get something they want from you. So analyse behaviours rather than words do not seem to far fetched if you want to share your intimacy and your life with someone.

Now when it comes to taking your time when it comes to sex, it highly depends on the view you have of it and the view you have on relationships. I don't think that sex/lust can be separated to somes scripts that one has acquired thorough ones life, therefore some sexual may have been assimilated to something pejorative. The foundation on a healthy relationship that will allow to develop and eventually turns into a family must been based on common principles rather than sex chemistry in my opinion. So analyse the person's principles before getting intimated with him/her is necessary.

I am very in the same set of mind as you when in comes to no games however, itis foolish to think that people do not do game mind, sometimes even unconsciously they do. "

Hey you should date her you sound like a match to me........ Can I ask how many fingers you type with?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please

Don't be sorry I still loveyou anyway haha

I think that it is important to analyse actions/behaviours rather than words. Relationships cannot be reduced two people who simply get along. I have came across so many people and I am sure that people may have experienced it as well, who says what they think you want to hear in order to get something they want from you. So analyse behaviours rather than words do not seem to far fetched if you want to share your intimacy and your life with someone.

Now when it comes to taking your time when it comes to sex, it highly depends on the view you have of it and the view you have on relationships. I don't think that sex/lust can be separated to somes scripts that one has acquired thorough ones life, therefore some sexual may have been assimilated to something pejorative. The foundation on a healthy relationship that will allow to develop and eventually turns into a family must been based on common principles rather than sex chemistry in my opinion. So analyse the person's principles before getting intimated with him/her is necessary.

I am very in the same set of mind as you when in comes to no games however, itis foolish to think that people do not do game mind, sometimes even unconsciously they do. Hey you should date her you sound like a match to me........ Can I ask how many fingers you type with?"

I don't type I TELL what to type to my FAB PA

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If a man asked this question he would get hammered for being arrogant! Funny how empathy works

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please

Don't be sorry I still loveyou anyway haha

I think that it is important to analyse actions/behaviours rather than words. Relationships cannot be reduced two people who simply get along. I have came across so many people and I am sure that people may have experienced it as well, who says what they think you want to hear in order to get something they want from you. So analyse behaviours rather than words do not seem to far fetched if you want to share your intimacy and your life with someone.

Now when it comes to taking your time when it comes to sex, it highly depends on the view you have of it and the view you have on relationships. I don't think that sex/lust can be separated to somes scripts that one has acquired thorough ones life, therefore some sexual may have been assimilated to something pejorative. The foundation on a healthy relationship that will allow to develop and eventually turns into a family must been based on common principles rather than sex chemistry in my opinion. So analyse the person's principles before getting intimated with him/her is necessary.

I am very in the same set of mind as you when in comes to no games however, itis foolish to think that people do not do game mind, sometimes even unconsciously they do. Hey you should date her you sound like a match to me........ Can I ask how many fingers you type with?

I don't type I TELL what to type to my FAB PA"

I'm his PA. I do all the typing. It gets quite complicated when we disagree

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please

Don't be sorry I still loveyou anyway haha

I think that it is important to analyse actions/behaviours rather than words. Relationships cannot be reduced two people who simply get along. I have came across so many people and I am sure that people may have experienced it as well, who says what they think you want to hear in order to get something they want from you. So analyse behaviours rather than words do not seem to far fetched if you want to share your intimacy and your life with someone.

Now when it comes to taking your time when it comes to sex, it highly depends on the view you have of it and the view you have on relationships. I don't think that sex/lust can be separated to somes scripts that one has acquired thorough ones life, therefore some sexual may have been assimilated to something pejorative. The foundation on a healthy relationship that will allow to develop and eventually turns into a family must been based on common principles rather than sex chemistry in my opinion. So analyse the person's principles before getting intimated with him/her is necessary.

I am very in the same set of mind as you when in comes to no games however, itis foolish to think that people do not do game mind, sometimes even unconsciously they do. Hey you should date her you sound like a match to me........ Can I ask how many fingers you type with?

I don't type I TELL what to type to my FAB PA

I'm his PA. I do all the typing. It gets quite complicated when we disagree "

We usually resolve that isuue by wanking each other with olive oil.

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By *thwalescplCouple  over a year ago

brecon


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages. "

Seriously?

You are getting all bent out of shape because he hasn't replied to a couple of texts?

Calm down!

There are any number of reasons why he hasn't replied.

I think you are over-thinking all of this.

Chill. Relax. Stop fretting. If he does get back to you, that's great... if not, well, you gave it a shot.

Stop beating yourself up about it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think that they key is to know yourself and know how to get it. I am sure that I am not mistaken myself when I say that you are looking for a relationship ? If yes, then I think your approach would be better to just analyse (withour over analyse) the guy's behaviour more than his words per se. Look for any discrepancies between what he says and his attitudes abd act upon it. Do not sleep with that person during the first months to check if he really wants to build up a relationship or if he is after quick sex. Even though if I have to admit that sex compatibility is important for an healthy relationship, it is primordial that you are not sending mix messages when it comes to what you are looking for and quick sex.

Sorry dude but I've got to disagree with most of that quite strongly. I don't think the op has to analyse anything complex about the disjunct between the guy's behaviour and what he says. If the guy likes being around her. If he laughs at her jokes. If he flirts. If he touches her in any way. He likes her and may well be open to having sex with her. That's why it was such a no brainer to just ask the guy for a drink as it was highly likely he'd do the rest of the work to get her into bed.

As for the whole "no sex before marriage" type of thing. That's just nonsense imo. When two mature adults date there's no need for any of these games. I feel strongly it's much better to just approach new potential relationships being open and natural with them. Have sex on the first night or on the third by all means. But don't play stupid games with it by deferring it much longer. You just want girl meets boy, girl gets off with boy, girl fucks boy, girl hangs out lots with boy, girl and boy fall in love. Simple. It'll work with someone it's meant to work with. And it'll fail with people who you aren't meant to be with. Simple. No games please

Don't be sorry I still loveyou anyway haha

I think that it is important to analyse actions/behaviours rather than words. Relationships cannot be reduced two people who simply get along. I have came across so many people and I am sure that people may have experienced it as well, who says what they think you want to hear in order to get something they want from you. So analyse behaviours rather than words do not seem to far fetched if you want to share your intimacy and your life with someone.

Now when it comes to taking your time when it comes to sex, it highly depends on the view you have of it and the view you have on relationships. I don't think that sex/lust can be separated to somes scripts that one has acquired thorough ones life, therefore some sexual may have been assimilated to something pejorative. The foundation on a healthy relationship that will allow to develop and eventually turns into a family must been based on common principles rather than sex chemistry in my opinion. So analyse the person's principles before getting intimated with him/her is necessary.

I am very in the same set of mind as you when in comes to no games however, itis foolish to think that people do not do game mind, sometimes even unconsciously they do. Hey you should date her you sound like a match to me........ Can I ask how many fingers you type with?

I don't type I TELL what to type to my FAB PA"

ahhhh a secretary eh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"He probably doesn't even realise you've hit on him. Men can be dense when it comes to forward women

Especially if he's not into you. A bit of harmless flirting passes the day, doesn't mean he wants you (sorry to say).

The men on here see your body, he sees more of the whole package.

Maybe in the quest to find love you need to leave Fab? Get used to being vulnerable to knock backs and not being wanted constantly.

Will maybe stop you reading so much into things x"

This

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"trivial shit

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If a man asked this question he would get hammered for being arrogant! Funny how empathy works"

I agree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If a man asked this question he would get hammered for being arrogant! Funny how empathy works

I agree"

Yeah maybe a humbling experience

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have I missed an update? From this thread all I can see is he didn't reply to two texts?

Yeah but it doesn't look good does it if he's read and ignored both messages.

Seriously?

You are getting all bent out of shape because he hasn't replied to a couple of texts?

Calm down!

There are any number of reasons why he hasn't replied.

I think you are over-thinking all of this.

Chill. Relax. Stop fretting. If he does get back to you, that's great... if not, well, you gave it a shot.

Stop beating yourself up about it."

Sometimes i read texts and emails and dont get back for days

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If a man asked this question he would get hammered for being arrogant! Funny how empathy works

I agree

Yeah maybe a humbling experience"

I think some people need to step awY from keyboard and stop over sharing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If a man asked this question he would get hammered for being arrogant! Funny how empathy works

I agree

Yeah maybe a humbling experience"

No I disagree men get treated exceptionally well here

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan  over a year ago

here


" "trivial shit”

"

Her words, not mine.

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