Ok so after a substantial weight loss on my part (10 stone in as many months), I feel comfortable enough to ask this question without being accused of judging or ridicule  would you rather someone be plump and firm (so they fit the skin they have basically) , or thinner with excess skin? Truth appreciated  and I know it’s personal preference before the trolls start. Which is why I’m asking for, and expecting, honesty. Thaaaanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a bigger dude and I like curvy women so would say that really but I find attraction varies from whoever I’m talking to eg: skinny girl who’s very sharp witted is very attractive |
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"Ok so after a substantial weight loss on my part (10 stone in as many months), I feel comfortable enough to ask this question without being accused of judging or ridicule would you rather someone be plump and firm (so they fit the skin they have basically) , or thinner with excess skin? Truth appreciated and I know it’s personal preference before the trolls start. Which is why I’m asking for, and expecting, honesty. Thaaaanks "
Well done, amazing effort.
For us it's not an issue either way, it's the person in the skin thats important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I’d prefer a person to fit their skin as you put it and I think the excess skin can be unsightly but you will feel and look a lot healthier and the excess skin can be removed on the nhs I believe, if you choose that route. Well done and good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I lost about 6 stone over past yrs so know how hard it is and the change in body dynamic.
On your question I feel if you comfortable then that’s the main thing.
I have a den friend who lost 14st and she hated her body look from 10st plus due to excess skin... no matter how much I tell her she is amazing and she doesn’t actually have much excess skin in her eyes she does, she has since loss had operation to remove excess skin |
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I paid privately for a bypass. My weight has always been an issue. I’ve always been either HUGE or ‘normal’. And I couldn’t maintain anything in between. It was my choice anyway and I won’t explain myself (not that anyone has asked me to). Anyway, I was fucking a local guy recently for a few weeks and the first time I got naked I basically said this is what I looked like and that’s how it is. He said it wasn’t a problem. Until he got pissed and told me he had been talking to his brother (who I went to school with) and said how amazing I looked since I lost the weight ... but what comes with weight loss ... skin. Etc. So it’s put me on a bit of a downer and made me doubt myself. I’ll never apologise for what I look like, and only I know my story. I’m a confident woman regardless. But I know I’ll hesitate next time and end up paranoid. I know it’s what’s inside that counts but f#ck me, people can be cruel! |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
I do like a curvy lady.
But, it's the confidence and personality that makes a person sexy in my opinion. As long as you are confident and happy in your new look that's great.
People who cast insults about a person's image are not worth the time and are usually fairly shallow anyway.
Congrats on the weight loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I paid privately for a bypass. My weight has always been an issue. I’ve always been either HUGE or ‘normal’. And I couldn’t maintain anything in between. It was my choice anyway and I won’t explain myself (not that anyone has asked me to). Anyway, I was fucking a local guy recently for a few weeks and the first time I got naked I basically said this is what I looked like and that’s how it is. He said it wasn’t a problem. Until he got pissed and told me he had been talking to his brother (who I went to school with) and said how amazing I looked since I lost the weight ... but what comes with weight loss ... skin. Etc. So it’s put me on a bit of a downer and made me doubt myself. I’ll never apologise for what I look like, and only I know my story. I’m a confident woman regardless. But I know I’ll hesitate next time and end up paranoid. I know it’s what’s inside that counts but f#ck me, people can be cruel!"
Was he stating a fact or being cruel? It sounds like just fact.
In answer to your OP it would depend on the person for me. I wouldn't like lots of excess skin.
If it bothers you have you spoken to your doctor? Sometimes the NHS will do skin tuck surgery. Postcode lottery though.
Basques etc may help. Congrats on the loss. xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a non swinging man said to me the other day- guys prefer more "junk in the trunk".
I joke about it saying I look young because the fat fills my wrinkles out, or that I am short for my weight, but it has been a lifelong issue for me, that I am currently not winning.
In my case it's a lot to do with how it might be impacting my health as I get older, rather than my skin- I already have stretch marks on my tummy from pregnancy rather than weight gain but recent gains (grief related) have affected my confidence x
Well done for making your changes and I agree that a chance comment can be very cruel xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a guy on insta, I think he was the bodyguard of Rihanna... He was like massive, like really massive (fat) and he lost all his fat and gained muscles but had all his skin pending... Got surgery and you honestly can't tell the diff.
Of course they are some scares but the excess of skin is gone.
Inspirational
Cant remember his name though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"would you rather someone be plump and firm (so they fit the skin they have basically) , or thinner with excess skin? "
From your descriptions, plump and firm. I'm not sure how that works though as if someone is 'plump' surely they're 'well padded' and therefore soft, not firm? I certainly wouldn't class myself as 'firm'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The 'skin flaps' caused by rapid/extreme weight loss disappear over time. A friend of mine lost quite a bit of weight and ended up with a large 'skin flap' but it eventually disappeared.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
From my perspective, and as others have said OP, it's the person in the skin I'm attracted to, not anything else.
That said I also appreciate that it's about self-perception and the way you "feel" about yourself and when you've had a knock in confidence (whether intended or not) that can be hard to get past, no matter what anyone else might tell you.
Ultimately though I think you just have to accept that people are attracted to you because it's you, take that as a compliment and try and take some confidence from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done on your weight loss, I’ve also had a bypass and must admit that as much as I look and feel better the excess skin makes me feel worse. So I can fully sympathise with you. A tummy tuck is now getting harder to get on the nhs as you have to prove over time that you’ve got go a certain bmi and can maintain it and that the skin is causing you health problems, eg infections and soreness repeatedly. The main option is to pay privately. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With all due respect to all who have had a "by-pass" and ended up with excessive skin flaps but it sounds that the procedure should be a last resort?
I lost five stone over 12 months by just eating sensibly and healthily. Absolutely no self righteous boasting on my part, I assure you, but unless you have a medical condition you lose weight because you burn more calories than you consume. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With all due respect to all who have had a "by-pass" and ended up with excessive skin flaps but it sounds that the procedure should be a last resort?
I lost five stone over 12 months by just eating sensibly and healthily. Absolutely no self righteous boasting on my part, I assure you, but unless you have a medical condition you lose weight because you burn more calories than you consume."
Because we lose weight at such a dramatic amount of time the skin has lost its elasticity and doesn’t go back. I’ve done all the exercises they recommend and nothing will tone up my stomach, bingo wings and inner thighs. Yes we expect some wobbly bits but the amount many of us are left with can be very distressing. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With all due respect to all who have had a "by-pass" and ended up with excessive skin flaps but it sounds that the procedure should be a last resort?
I lost five stone over 12 months by just eating sensibly and healthily. Absolutely no self righteous boasting on my part, I assure you, but unless you have a medical condition you lose weight because you burn more calories than you consume."
No will power at the moment is my reason. I'm always tired or exhausted and crave carbs. It's easier to eat a bar of chocolate than to make pasta and chicken; plus, I can't eat pasta after 6 or I'll get bad acid reflux.
Saying that, I seem to have lost my craving for chocolate recently ,thankfully. |
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Each to their own. Some people like chunk. Some people like slim. I’m all for personal preference. I did this for many reasons and because of many battles I’ve fought and lost. It’s just the skin I’m left with. It’s not nice to look at. But it is what it is. Like I said, I was just pissed the other night and feeling sorry for myself lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Each to their own. Some people like chunk. Some people like slim. I’m all for personal preference. I did this for many reasons and because of many battles I’ve fought and lost. It’s just the skin I’m left with. It’s not nice to look at. But it is what it is. Like I said, I was just pissed the other night and feeling sorry for myself lol x"
You are beautiful in your own unique way, doesn't matter about what things may look like. Everyone sees things differently and the most important thing is that you embrace your beauty. I can say you're beautiful even though your profile is hidden  lol |
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hahaha x