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What's your best non-swearing insult?

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

I hope you step on a plug...

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Hope your old hat blows off (one of my mums)

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By *hythmic DriverMan over a year ago

Croydon

No single guys.....

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By *oxiAnneWoman over a year ago

Not on a Hot Gin Roof :/

It’s more of a rolling eyes put down look than a verbal one...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Burky McBurk face is a family favourite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can't compete with stupidity when you are far greater qualified in it than I.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have had ten partners in my life and yes, you are intelligent. You are definitely in my top 10.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Hope your next jobby is a hedgehog.

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By *LovetobewatchedMan over a year ago

edinburgh

I hope you get the shits. *

* I know, it's a little bit sweary. But hilarious

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"May the spawn of one thousand camel spiders infest your rectum". Ok, not so much an insult, more a curse.

Got called a "Moon Pigeon" and "Goombah" Quite a few times by Basic Training Instructors.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm not censored

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By *rsTrellisWoman over a year ago

Cambridge

I hope your rabbit dies and you can’t sell the hutch.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My nans favourite insult was

"Why don't you go and wash your neck"

As a child this amused me greatly xxx

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

"I hope you get the shits. *

* I know, it's a little bit sweary. But hilarious

I'll give you that one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You've got a face like a hairy shit.

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

"I hope your rabbit dies and you can’t sell the hutch. "

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you had another brain cell you would be a plant!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're so ugly your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck so the dog would play with you

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By *agermeisterMan over a year ago

Leeds

Whey-faced paltroon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg and ended up in her bum crack.

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

"Whey-faced paltroon"

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By *agermeisterMan over a year ago

Leeds

You're so ugly even your mum thinks you're ugly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're so ugly the midwife slapped you're mum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Last in the queue for looks and personality

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not my fault the midwife dropped you on your face when you were born

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

NERF HERDER!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You utter imbercile of a berk

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When they handed out brains you must have thought they said 'games' and asked for a simple one!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Doody head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's no way you came from my loins I'm going home to kick your momma in the butt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

With a face like yours I’d teach my arse to speak

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By *oldtapsCouple over a year ago

Cwmbran

I drink to make you pretty !!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd rather do your mum than you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you know what they do to guys that look like you in prison?

Nothing

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By *llsbells Unicorn11Woman over a year ago

Sligo

U have a face that would stop a clock

U have a face like a bag of spanners

Wen god was handing out brains and looks he came ta u and said...NEXT

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Eastbourne

Why am I a talking to you, you are a Neanderthal.

I see who has the family brain cell today then.

Go home, you village is missing its idiot.

Of course you don't know what an indicator is, you are a BMW driver.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A million sperms and you were the fastest god knows what the rest must have been like!!

You are the reason cousins shouldn't marry!!

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

I looked up your family tree and a lot of them are still up there

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By *sbiloverWoman over a year ago

London

Your mum should have swallowed!

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Ohhh ya daft noodle

I know it’s pretty harsh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What a lizard.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is that your real face or has your neck been sick !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Face like a slapped arse

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By *4gnumprMan over a year ago

telford

oxygen thief

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By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

They've a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Who's pissed on your chips?

(And for those unfortunates with wonky eyes) One eyes gone to the shops and the other is on its way back with the change

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By *illy2018TV/TS over a year ago

Birmingham

Stupider than a broken clock..even that's right twice a day.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Patience is a virtue, you don’t obviously have

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By *lceeWoman over a year ago

Leeds

Go put your head in an oven and bake some sense into you! I think that actually came from Robert Jacques’ Redwall originally. Man, I never realised how dark that insult actually is!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I wanted to listen to an arsehole, I would have farted!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hope your first born walks backwards with a limp

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Hey ground control, think I’ve found the space cadet we lost.

Usually into my watch.

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

"Hey ground control, think I’ve found the space cadet we lost.

Usually into my watch."

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By *juk72Man over a year ago

Reading

I bet you can see what you had for dinner yesterday.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I look at you and think.

Somewhere out there is a village searching for their idiot.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you could see yourself you'd look away!

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By *olarfoxMan over a year ago

North Cambs

He's a bit of a wombat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Looks like a HIPPO-CROC-O-PIG

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By *ain n MableWoman over a year ago

Milton Keynes

You have a face like a jockeys gonads.

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By *iker boy 69Man over a year ago

midlands

If someones pissed me off by saying something or just a miserable twat its normally a case of "you must be a red dog".. round this area that means nottingham forest fan because theyre mostly daft for being forest fans and miserable cuz theyre shit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You salad

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

Numb nuts!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your so ugly instead of a birth certifacte your mum an dad got a letter of apology from Durex an 10 free nodders!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your mum should of swallowed you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I may be dr*nk madam but, in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill to Lady Astor.

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By *OOM696969Man over a year ago

BRIDLINGTON

Go play with the traffic

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By *olarfoxMan over a year ago

North Cambs

"Your mum should of swallowed you "

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Flip flops and botheration. When there's small people watching me and I really want to say fuck it .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your so ugly that you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go comb your teeth

Pull your pants up an give your mouth a chance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hope your next jobby is a hedgehog.

Awwwww...you nicked mine!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your mum really should have swallowed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Numpty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can improve my hair,outfit ect.... but there's no chance of that face improving so jog on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

May your every barefoot step find a piece of Lego beneath it!!

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By *LFB.Woman over a year ago

Farnborough.

Who spat in your test tube!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you just say something cos it smells like a dog just farted in here

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Eastbourne

Quick call a palaentologist, we have found the missing link.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What are you going to do for a face when Jabba the hut wants his arse back?

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Tool.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you called Joey essex

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By *_am_BobMan over a year ago

South Kent

You really are just paddling in the shallow end of the gene pool!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you got a pen ?

yes

well get back in it yer fat pig

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By *ud and BryanCouple over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

He smells like dead things, but he still smells better than you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To someone about a third party: He thinks his a wit, but he's only half right!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck off you fucking fuck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d call you a cunt, but you lack the warmth and the depth!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man!

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By *attooe bitchCouple over a year ago

blackwood

Sorry if offence people but mine is bint lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Twunt

Ya geet tuss. ( it’s a Cornish thing)

I’d rather eat my own

Pubes than chat/meet you

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By *ooking4othersMan over a year ago

Here ...

If I valued your opinion I would have asked for it.

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By *reckledbumWoman over a year ago

Morecambe,Blackburn,Blackpool

Be quiet you twirp!

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By *just JimMan over a year ago

Bath

you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on he way down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You fucking spammy looking bastert! No wait....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry if offence people but mine is bint lol x"

Never explain, never apologise

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely not PC, but I still quite like Spastic for some that is being a complete tool!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""May the spawn of one thousand camel spiders infest your rectum". Ok, not so much an insult, more a curse.

Got called a "Moon Pigeon" and "Goombah" Quite a few times by Basic Training Instructors."

Camel spider are the work of the devil. Horrible little things.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't actually use any non sweary ones. I clearly need my mouth washing out with soap

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Waste of skin

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I hope you step on a plug..."
oooooooo pain full...........go put your tongue in a ringer

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

The lifeguard was obviously on holiday the day you entered the gene pool

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/02/18 09:32:57]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You absolute cum stain

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By *issyme555TV/TS over a year ago

Motherwell

You utter plonk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You dress like a Frenchman

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By *rrol.BMan over a year ago

Wrexham

I like the word Crempog. It is satisfying to say and means pancake in Welsh.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hope your old hat blows off (one of my mums)"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Courtesy of Tony capstick

You great big ugly parrot faced wassock, has a use in most situations.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How the fuck do you tie your shoelaces in the morning

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh just fuck off" ...

Oh no sorry wait that's a bit sweary

What about - "Oh just bore off

I'd like to add "you boring cunt" to that .....

I'm rubbish at non sweary insults

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if I wanted to deal with twats I would have been a gynecologist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you was so ugly . your mum had too tie a bone round your neck so the dog would play with yer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My pet dog sayes hi. Aparantly he knows you from a forma life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

how do you keep a weirdo in suspense ?

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple over a year ago

Fareham

You have a face like a bag of smashed crabs.

You have all the depth of a car park puddle!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your mother should have swallowed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You are a good advertisement for Durex.

Oh and you have a face only your mother would love. x

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By *ack2071Man over a year ago

bromsgrove

Your the only person I know who gets a fathers day card from Kleenex tissues

You only cost your dad £15 then he left your mum as she had other customers the same night

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman over a year ago

your imagination

When someone says they're going to give me a piece of their mind... I ask if they're sure they can spare it???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hope you step on Lego in the dark.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I hope you step on Lego in the dark.

That's very similar to mine above y'know

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I hope you step on Lego in the dark.

That's very similar to mine above y'know

I didn't read any in the thread above me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tosspot, muppet and twonk

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

Addle pated Clodpoll

I'm phoning your local village Mayor to tell him to collect its idiot!

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

"I hope you step on Lego in the dark.

That's very similar to mine above y'know

I didn't read any in the thread above me.

Posts No 1 and 74 were near identical.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your face

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I hope you step on Lego in the dark.

That's very similar to mine above y'know

I didn't read any in the thread above me.

*tuts*... A spanking is in order I feel

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hope you get splash back next time you take a shit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

If I step on a plug barefoot I’m fucking swearing

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By *raceytvcdTV/TS over a year ago

mansfield

I bet you're father wanked on the toilet wall and the sun hatched you out

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By *hortieWoman over a year ago

Northampton

If your brains were petrol, there wouldn't be enough fuel to run an ants car round a cheerio.

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By *kbloke_11Man over a year ago

Hockley

Arsewipe

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

Shouldn't you be on the politics forum with the other xxxxs?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You my friend should have been swallowed

You make my shit itch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your dad sells Avon!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes Fab really well could be the asshole of the universe. I suppose you're just passing through?

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

Oh..are you still here?

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By *iercedItMan over a year ago

Manchester

You appendix.

As in at point you may have been useful, but it's been so long now no one knows why your still around or what you was useful for, no one really notices when your gone and when you do stick your head up, it's 15 minutes before gone forever.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Discharge

Beats cunt every time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're so inbred, you're a sandwich.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That looks like a penis . Only smaller

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By *uckypups1000Couple over a year ago

peterborough

It has a little swear ,but I like hoof licking spangle twat! Seems to get the point across

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Twunt is my absolute fave right now x cos sometimes the words 'twat' and 'cunt' just arnt enough

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your mother should have swallowed"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/02/18 03:12:39]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Numpty is my favourite non swear word.

And

May you live in interesting times my favourite curse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Curtains

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By *laytimenowMan over a year ago

Essex

Why were you born ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cobblers gotta be a good one right ......am I right or am I right

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By *ack2071Man over a year ago

bromsgrove

Your a useless piece of afterbirth that got mistaken for intelligent life form

If you don't understand I could write it down and draw you a diagram and add pictures too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I hope your rabbit dies and you can’t sell the hutch. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did your parents have any children that lived?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

Merseyside

Ya Maaaaaaaaaa

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fudge

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By *eKoopleCouple over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

Silence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You damn Brits, Hahaha, just playing.

How many bocks can I get tonight?

Whens the tea party?

The red coats might be coming.

Im d*unk as shit, sorry.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fathead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jeez

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Muppet

You brain doner

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By *homasP80Man over a year ago

Linwood

Got 2 just now:

Go and bury your head in a tin can.

(And)

See you next Tuesday/Thursday

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By *orny_HertsCouple over a year ago

Letchworth

I’m not being condescending, I am just busy thinking about things you wouldn’t understand.

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By *orny_HertsCouple over a year ago

Letchworth

Do you have a pen?

Would you mind getting back in it before the farmer notices!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go to work

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By *ooncat123 OP Woman over a year ago

Sutton

"Twunt is my absolute fave right now x cos sometimes the words 'twat' and 'cunt' just arnt enough

xxxx"

I'm having that one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The best part of you ran down your mother's leg.

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By *ot noodlesCouple over a year ago

bath

Did you go bobbing for chips?

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By *rishsteveMan over a year ago

carlow

Hope your balls turn square and fester at the corners

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do u cut your own hair or was the barber on strike

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rumple stiltskin

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

U titturd

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Know I know why your dad disowned yoy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Help me Jesus

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mother of another lover

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