FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Honest assistance please
Honest assistance please
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So.....here we go and hopefully we won't get too much abuse.
We been here now about 14 months, chatted with some great people, met some amazing couples and had some awesome playtimes at club f, been to.a couple of party's and finally mage it to the Yarm social.
All good so far....UNTIL a couple of months ago when everything suddenly without warning ground to a complete stop, aside from the odd single male and the few couples we regularly chat with we have had virtually no interest from anyone. We've taken advice from people and thrown up interesting and humourous status, tweaked profile information and altered pics and still nothing until a few weeks ago when we have had a few messages our way that despite all being worded differently have all bluntly given us the same answer.
It seems we are arrogant and "unlikeable"????? So here's our question.
Could anyone (or everyone) take a minute or 2 to take a look at our profile and give us some advice here? Are we REALLY unlikeable??
Cos this is a hard thing to take in since we like to think we are a friendly couple.
Much appreciated
S&R xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry gave up reading as it's so long, and I like a detailed profile.
Not sure why you've put so much detail about your medical problems on there but I know that would put me straight off from messaging back.
It says female half isn't playing, so you are another single guy in a huge ocean of single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry gave up reading as it's so long, and I like a detailed profile.
Not sure why you've put so much detail about your medical problems on there but I know that would put me straight off from messaging back.
It says female half isn't playing, so you are another single guy in a huge ocean of single guys. "
Hmm, hadn't thought of that.
Though to be truthful this has been going on well before the medical problems.
Didn't consider the appearance of now being a single male though.
Good bit of outside observation there though.
Thankyou. xx |
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I think it would be a good idea to reflect on the key messages that a reader would be left with, once they've visited your profile. I note you've added a lot of very personal medical details: is the level of detail needed, I wondered? Could a simpler not have summarised what a visitor might need to know, eg whether you are or aren't meeting? etc
Your photos are more biased towards you the female: do you think that's what others would like, if meeting the two of you? More balance could be great, so that others may judge their level of attraction to you both.
I'm not a big fan of profiles that say little but - coupled with the first point about content - it may be a little long for most users? I can't say that it is but that's my assumption. But, it's your profile and only you will know what you want to impart to others who may be interested.
Hope this is helpful. Good luck!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be brutal I gave up after reading your most recent update, what's the point in reading the rest if you're not playing, and if I was approached by you guys I'd have the same thoughts about replying.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, profile way too long and I also gave up before getting to the end! You haven’t talked about what you can offer others, unless it’s at the end which I didn’t get too and as a couples profile, if it says the female is not playing I would be suspicious that the female didn’t really exist and it was just a single guy using a couples profile to try and have more success out there x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Advice greatly appreciated guys.
Profile definitely needs revamping.
Was ok when we first got here but it's a little worn and dated now.
Clearly more pics together and a balanced mix of them.
Changes needed we think.
Oh,and WE are a COUPLES profile so reel the suspicions in. Thankyou. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear Wonderwoman is currently unwell, but I’m not sure the level of detail on your profile is quite necessary. If she doesn’t want to play or is unable to play, then just saying so should suffice and no further explanation is really necessary. The embellished account somehow seems to suggest you have something to be ashamed of or need to develop a story to cover something up. I’m sure this isn’t the case but could be interpreted as such.
Personal lives are dynamic and it’s important that profiles are updated regularly to reflect this. If only mister is playing right now, then your profile should reflect this. I would like to see more pics of mister and profile texts that outlines his character and the type of meets he would like to pursue (i.e. whether wonderwoman squirts or not is irrelevant right now!).
Why not copy your current profile blurb into another document, allowing you to reinstate it when the situation returns to normal? But then rewrite for the time being?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the others have said its very long, you also go into a lot about how you find it difficult to meet etc a lot which will put people off its quite negative, I got bored before getting to your good bits.
Most couples on here have kids and work etc so have time constraints including us so no need to be so detailed on that bit. And yes Mrs not playing will be an issue too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seriously seeing the problem here, jesus we hadn't realised what a lengthy load of bollocks we had put in there!!
WE wouldn't want to meet us!!!
Trimmed down and discarded well over half of it.
Keep this feedback coming guys.
If it's not reading well, let us know and we'll keep on taking the advice that's very gratefully being given. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So much better, but now you've completely left out the part about the female half not meeting.
Doesn't need detailed reasons but if its only male half playing it should be in there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So much better, but now you've completely left out the part about the female half not meeting.
Doesn't need detailed reasons but if its only male half playing it should be in there. "
Yeah, we are trying to work out how to word this now.
Her health is improving much more rapidly than expected so now we are at risk of looking like idiots if we word this wrong.
Anything else we could add or leave out?
We seriously hadn't realised it was such a massive uninteresting epic of garbage.
It's been like that so long we didn't even notice.
Thanks for the advice though, it's made us relise how bad it really was. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So much better, but now you've completely left out the part about the female half not meeting.
Doesn't need detailed reasons but if its only male half playing it should be in there.
Yeah, we are trying to work out how to word this now.
Her health is improving much more rapidly than expected so now we are at risk of looking like idiots if we word this wrong.
Anything else we could add or leave out?
We seriously hadn't realised it was such a massive uninteresting epic of garbage.
It's been like that so long we didn't even notice.
Thanks for the advice though, it's made us relise how bad it really was. xx"
Doesn't need details. Just put something like female half not currently playing due to personal issues, but hoping to be back in action shortly. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I've deliberately avoided reading any of the other feedback given above so this is my honest opinion based on the current profile - on the whole it covers everything and gets across who you are and what you are about/looking for BUT (there's always a but isn't there?) and I mean this kindly - it's a little boring and lacking personality - now I tried to figure out why and it might come down to it being a little repetitive in places, saying the same thing but differently - so perhaps look at how you can condense it a little.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've deliberately avoided reading any of the other feedback given above so this is my honest opinion based on the current profile - on the whole it covers everything and gets across who you are and what you are about/looking for BUT (there's always a but isn't there?) and I mean this kindly - it's a little boring and lacking personality - now I tried to figure out why and it might come down to it being a little repetitive in places, saying the same thing but differently - so perhaps look at how you can condense it a little. "
Boring and personality??
Yup, we can work with this.
Advice on what you would look for on what we could change? xx |
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You definitely have too much waffle.
The first paragraph is very long, and mostly just one sentance. If I wasn't reviewing your profile, I would have given up there. It's very hard to read.
For me there are too many dont's and it lacks positivity. I dislike shouty capitals.
I would also say that things do slow down over Xmas and New Year. You have a verification from December and the Mrs isn't playing anyway at the moment.
I'm a little baffled why you are questioning the lack of meets, to be honest, given you never meet separately. Though the profile could do with sorting.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm confused.
"Female isn't playing" implies that the male is.
Yet "we do not play alone ever".
If one of you doesn't want to play, just hide your profile and come back when you're both ready. Why the concern now, when you're not playing as a couple anyway?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yup.
Having scrutinised our uninteresting and over worded waffle of a profile it's becoming much clearer to why people don't acknowledge us.
We're too long!
Mass trim down, relaxed shuffle of wording and rearrangement of text.
Hopefully it reads much better and in a clearer format.
Do keep us up to date with advice and opinions though.
It's been a real eye opener and hopefully we have learned from mistakes. xx |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I've deliberately avoided reading any of the other feedback given above so this is my honest opinion based on the current profile - on the whole it covers everything and gets across who you are and what you are about/looking for BUT (there's always a but isn't there?) and I mean this kindly - it's a little boring and lacking personality - now I tried to figure out why and it might come down to it being a little repetitive in places, saying the same thing but differently - so perhaps look at how you can condense it a little.
Boring and personality??
Yup, we can work with this.
Advice on what you would look for on what we could change? xx"
Your personality is something I can't tell you how to get across - but in general terms it needs some snap and pzazz - something that makes the reader want to know more.
Although since my earlier post you've added the bit about the female half not currently playing which is fine of course - but I'd ask if the "drought" has coincided with that? If so then maybe there's your answer |
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To be brutally honest... I would scrap it and start again. I can see no real change.
Avoid large chunks of text, and tame your tendancy for one sentance, 5 line, paragraphs.
Less is sometimes more.
Nita |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
As far as the original Profile was concerned, I didn't see it.
But with the revised version, to me it seems to be full of detail you don't need to put it.
EG. You go into lengthy detail about what you wish to experience in a meet & the relevant build-up.
But it could be cut back to the barest information and leave the rest to the imagination of those viewing you.
It's like writing a CV and putting so much detail into it that you have nothing else to tell an interviewer when asked to expand further.
Just my viewpoint. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does read better, more positive and more clearly organised, though still quite lengthy.
BUT, and this is a big BUT, it’s still not clear what you’re trying to achieve. You clearly state at the outset that mrs isn’t meeting right now but the rest reads as though you meet as a couple. So does this mean that neither of you are meeting or mister is meeting alone?
You need to be 100% clear. There are so many profiles on here, people won’t bother with the ones that baffle them. |
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"Seriously seeing the problem here, jesus we hadn't realised what a lengthy load of bollocks we had put in there!!
WE wouldn't want to meet us!!!
Trimmed down and discarded well over half of it.
Keep this feedback coming guys.
If it's not reading well, let us know and we'll keep on taking the advice that's very gratefully being given. xx"
That's a great move to have listened so well. I've not revisited it but your grasp is great. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys and gals this is great feedback.
Were still not too sure if it's quite right yet but thankyou all for the positive response, it could so easily have turned into nastiness but it stayed positive and the advice given, we have tried to implement.
By all means if anyone else can suggest removals or additions throw the advice our way and we will take it on board. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So.....here we go and hopefully we won't get too much abuse.
We been here now about 14 months, chatted with some great people, met some amazing couples and had some awesome playtimes at club f, been to.a couple of party's and finally mage it to the Yarm social.
All good so far....UNTIL a couple of months ago when everything suddenly without warning ground to a complete stop, aside from the odd single male and the few couples we regularly chat with we have had virtually no interest from anyone. We've taken advice from people and thrown up interesting and humourous status, tweaked profile information and altered pics and still nothing until a few weeks ago when we have had a few messages our way that despite all being worded differently have all bluntly given us the same answer.
It seems we are arrogant and "unlikeable"????? So here's our question.
Could anyone (or everyone) take a minute or 2 to take a look at our profile and give us some advice here? Are we REALLY unlikeable??
Cos this is a hard thing to take in since we like to think we are a friendly couple.
Much appreciated
S&R xx"
hey I thought it was a very honest profile bit long mind ,you say woman not playing in first line of write up could it be that ?  |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I didn't see your earlier profile, but I must congratulate you on taking the feedback and adjusting your profile accordingly.
My only comment is to cut down the first paragraph. Stick some full stops in there.
Photos are good. It is quite long, but it tells people about you. Hope female feels better soon.
Make it clear if you are hoping for social meets, play for Mister or just chatting until she is well .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think there is ever a right and wrong profile (well apart from the sheer laziness of ‘message me to find out’ ones, or profiles with nothing on just that Sydney University crap lol)
Looks fine to me, couples profiles I think tend to be harder as there is two of you to ‘sell’ if you get my meaning and the longer you have been here you have to add more ‘clauses’ into it because you’ve come across so many different things (hence our wank bank part).
It looks ok from here, it probably is only because the female isn’t well at the moment, which you’ve made clear from the start, maybe if it’s just the male playing for a long period of time perhaps have a male profile if it’s just him meeting at the moment?
Good luck x
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I did read the profile yesterday 
Just read the new one. The new one is to the point and friendly. It's a huge improvement.
Just a thought ..... If your meets are drying up - have you fucked all the people in your area that fancy you and that you fancy ? Is it time to cast the net wider ?
There's got to be a limited number of fuckers in one area |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think the changes you have made are spot on - only thing I'd say is that first paragraph is a little waffly and has far too many uses of "and" for one sentence but that's being really picky.
Hope it works for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the changes you have made are spot on - only thing I'd say is that first paragraph is a little waffly and has far too many uses of "and" for one sentence but that's being really picky.
Hope it works for you "
Noted, recapped and dealt with accordingly. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I did read the profile yesterday
Just read the new one. The new one is to the point and friendly. It's a huge improvement.
Just a thought ..... If your meets are drying up - have you fucked all the people in your area that fancy you and that you fancy ? Is it time to cast the net wider ?
There's got to be a limited number of fuckers in one area "
so succinctly put |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Can I just say OP what a refreshing change it makes to contribute to a profile advice thread where the advice given is taken on board with good grace and actually acted upon.
All too often I find the advice given is completely ignored and the requester never returns to the thread so good on you both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can I just say OP what a refreshing change it makes to contribute to a profile advice thread where the advice given is taken on board with good grace and actually acted upon.
All too often I find the advice given is completely ignored and the requester never returns to the thread so good on you both "
We had to seek advice from others.
It's all too easy to fall into your own trap of not seeing past the end of your nose.
Thankfully we attracted the attention of decent people who were prepared to help us rather than criticise us to the lengths of abuse.
So thankyou for YOUR input to our now hopefully more appealing profile. xx |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
I read your initial post and clicked straight into your profile - I liked it! Then I read through all the comments and it seems as though you’ve taken it all on board. It flows nicely through now and the bugbears that would have bitten me from reading the comments have been squashed. It’s a lovely refreshing change |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well, the last 24 hours have been a huge help to us, we've removed 85% of our pointless needless profile, tweaked the grammar, edited the descriptive and shuffled pics around as recommended and suggested by others.
We've had some amazing feedback, some openly honest criticisms and some useful tips and advice so thankyou to all those involved in assisting us and hopefully our stall will start to pull up soon.
xxx |
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