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Cats xx
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"Granny Crumpet dont like em I do The only way ta find out is........FIGHT!!!(wheres Notts male when ya needs him lol) xxxx "Oi. Who said I don't like them? I respect all animals including detergent covered rodents ! | |||
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"Loves cats "Me too. So many good songs. Meeeeeeeeeeeeemreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez | |||
"Well i loved cats, until mine left home to live at tescos. Theyve even given her a new name..............club card" well they could'nt have called her 'Loyalty-Card' could they  | |||
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"You know how some people say "I'm not sure if I own the cat, or the cat owns me!"? It's a cat. You fucking own it. " You never had one then sensy?? lol xx | |||
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"My oldest went to sleep last night.... "Aw sorry hon
*hugs* | |||
"You know how some people say "I'm not sure if I own the cat, or the cat owns me!"? It's a cat. You fucking own it. You never had one then sensy?? lol xx "I actually quite like cats, but no I've never had one. They do however work as a handy 'date potential' indicator. I often see attractive girls in the supermarket and think to myself 'hmm, she looks fine..', but if a quick peek into her basket reveals a diet pasta meal for one, a copy of Grazia, a bottle of Chardonnay and 8 tins of cat foos I can tell straight away that she is a mad lonely dysfunctional psycho bitch who should be avoided at all costs. | |||
"My oldest went to sleep last night.... "xxx | |||
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"You know how some people say "I'm not sure if I own the cat, or the cat owns me!"? It's a cat. You fucking own it. You never had one then sensy?? lol xx
I actually quite like cats, but no I've never had one.
They do however work as a handy 'date potential' indicator.
I often see attractive girls in the supermarket and think to myself 'hmm, she looks fine..', but if a quick peek into her basket reveals a diet pasta meal for one, a copy of Grazia, a bottle of Chardonnay and 8 tins of cat foos I can tell straight away that she is a mad lonely dysfunctional psycho bitch who should be avoided at all costs."Wow Im impressed thats me to a tea | |||
" I actually quite like cats, but no I've never had one. They do however work as a handy 'date potential' indicator. I often see attractive girls in the supermarket and think to myself 'hmm, she looks fine..', but if a quick peek into her basket reveals a diet pasta meal for one, a copy of Grazia, a bottle of Chardonnay and 8 tins of cat foos I can tell straight away that she is a mad lonely dysfunctional psycho bitch who should be avoided at all costs." Still a better option than a single male with cats. | |||
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" I actually quite like cats, but no I've never had one. They do however work as a handy 'date potential' indicator. I often see attractive girls in the supermarket and think to myself 'hmm, she looks fine..', but if a quick peek into her basket reveals a diet pasta meal for one, a copy of Grazia, a bottle of Chardonnay and 8 tins of cat foos I can tell straight away that she is a mad lonely dysfunctional psycho bitch who should be avoided at all costs. Still a better option than a single male with cats." is it???- I dont see that at all...always been an animal lover dont see it as any reflection other than a caring person | |||
"You know how some people say "I'm not sure if I own the cat, or the cat owns me!"? It's a cat. You fucking own it. You never had one then sensy?? lol xx
I actually quite like cats, but no I've never had one.
They do however work as a handy 'date potential' indicator.
I often see attractive girls in the supermarket and think to myself 'hmm, she looks fine..', but if a quick peek into her basket reveals a diet pasta meal for one, a copy of Grazia, a bottle of Chardonnay and 8 tins of cat foos I can tell straight away that she is a mad lonely dysfunctional psycho bitch who should be avoided at all costs."And the single guys who wear white socks?  | |||
" I actually quite like cats, but no I've never had one. They do however work as a handy 'date potential' indicator. I often see attractive girls in the supermarket and think to myself 'hmm, she looks fine..', but if a quick peek into her basket reveals a diet pasta meal for one, a copy of Grazia, a bottle of Chardonnay and 8 tins of cat foos I can tell straight away that she is a mad lonely dysfunctional psycho bitch who should be avoided at all costs. Still a better option than a single male with cats. is it???- I dont see that at all...always been an animal lover dont see it as any reflection other than a caring person" I think a man that has cats is great daft as it may sound I find them very caring as they have something else to look after other than themselves , that sounds not how I want it to sound but cant think how to put it . | |||
"My oldest went to sleep last night.... "Oh bless, a very upsetting time, been there a few times. Sending big hugs to you xxxx | |||
"My oldest went to sleep last night.... "So sorry to hear this
I have 4 cats, all rescue, plus 2 dogs. Plus a damn good dyson | |||
"My oldest went to sleep last night....
Oh bless, a very upsetting time, been there a few times. Sending big hugs to you xxxx"actually missed this one, sorry to hear that! | |||
"Im owned by 2 cats.... totally different characters but both very loving and loyal.. except one would happily leave home and go live with my FB, she adores him " Loving and Loyal ? Give it the chance to find someone with more food , warmer beds etc... you'll be history. Loyal my ass...... | |||
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff...." Precisely why I'm a dog person | |||
"You know how some people say "I'm not sure if I own the cat, or the cat owns me!"? It's a cat. You fucking own it. You never had one then sensy?? lol xx
I actually quite like cats, but no I've never had one.
They do however work as a handy 'date potential' indicator.
I often see attractive girls in the supermarket and think to myself 'hmm, she looks fine..', but if a quick peek into her basket reveals a diet pasta meal for one, a copy of Grazia, a bottle of Chardonnay and 8 tins of cat foos I can tell straight away that she is a mad lonely dysfunctional psycho bitch who should be avoided at all costs."Cat foos ? bloody hell when did they become a delicacy ? | |||
"Im owned by 2 cats.... totally different characters but both very loving and loyal.. except one would happily leave home and go live with my FB, she adores him Loving and Loyal ? Give it the chance to find someone with more food , warmer beds etc... you'll be history. Loyal my ass...... " dont talk pish crumpet, my cat pines for me when Im away...she tends not to attach herself to other people ever! | |||
"My oldest went to sleep last night.... "so sorry to hear that they are part of the family i miss mine loads. i only have 3 now all rescue and love em to bits. all different characters | |||
"Im owned by 2 cats.... totally different characters but both very loving and loyal.. except one would happily leave home and go live with my FB, she adores him Loving and Loyal ? Give it the chance to find someone with more food , warmer beds etc... you'll be history. Loyal my ass...... dont talk pish crumpet, my cat pines for me when Im away...she tends not to attach herself to other people ever!" Let her speak for herself ! Jesus the reification of human feelings onto animals never ceases to astonish me. | |||
"Im owned by 2 cats.... totally different characters but both very loving and loyal.. except one would happily leave home and go live with my FB, she adores him Loving and Loyal ? Give it the chance to find someone with more food , warmer beds etc... you'll be history. Loyal my ass...... dont talk pish crumpet, my cat pines for me when Im away...she tends not to attach herself to other people ever! Let her speak for herself ! Jesus the reification of human feelings onto animals never ceases to astonish me. " she said "haisk aaaaj wweee snnn" translated thru googlecattalk that said "dont talk pish crumpet" | |||
"Im owned by 2 cats.... totally different characters but both very loving and loyal.. except one would happily leave home and go live with my FB, she adores him Loving and Loyal ? Give it the chance to find someone with more food , warmer beds etc... you'll be history. Loyal my ass...... dont talk pish crumpet, my cat pines for me when Im away...she tends not to attach herself to other people ever! Let her speak for herself ! Jesus the reification of human feelings onto animals never ceases to astonish me. she said "haisk aaaaj wweee snnn" translated thru googlecattalk that said "dont talk pish crumpet"" you must have a Siamese / Persian Cross.... that translates in the Catese Bible to .... The Goon is back - rub his legs and he'll stop the sloppy kisses n serve food. | |||
"Im owned by 2 cats.... totally different characters but both very loving and loyal.. except one would happily leave home and go live with my FB, she adores him Loving and Loyal ? Give it the chance to find someone with more food , warmer beds etc... you'll be history. Loyal my ass...... dont talk pish crumpet, my cat pines for me when Im away...she tends not to attach herself to other people ever! Let her speak for herself ! Jesus the reification of human feelings onto animals never ceases to astonish me. she said "haisk aaaaj wweee snnn" translated thru googlecattalk that said "dont talk pish crumpet" you must have a Siamese / Persian Cross.... that translates in the Catese Bible to .... The Goon is back - rub his legs and he'll stop the sloppy kisses n serve food. " lol how dare u suggest my cat is mixed race!!!!! | |||
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"Freud would have a field day in here." Hmmmmmmmmm a place of excitement and opportunist circumstance FABS is not ! | |||
"Im owned by 2 cats.... totally different characters but both very loving and loyal.. except one would happily leave home and go live with my FB, she adores him Loving and Loyal ? Give it the chance to find someone with more food , warmer beds etc... you'll be history. Loyal my ass...... " She bloody would as well! shes never acted like this with anyone else.. shes all over him when hes here, she is besotted with him.... am begining to think he comes to visit her as much as he does me! | |||
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"I have 3 cats and a dog. Cats rule the roost, the dog knows who is in charge. And they are not MY cats- I am their Human lol "Do you, by any chance, drink chardonnay, Read Grazia and eat diet pasta meals for one? | |||
"I have 3 cats and a dog. Cats rule the roost, the dog knows who is in charge. And they are not MY cats- I am their Human lol
Do you, by any chance, drink chardonnay, Read Grazia and eat diet pasta meals for one?"No, I drink Vodka, read books, and cook! | |||
"I have 3 cats and a dog. Cats rule the roost, the dog knows who is in charge. And they are not MY cats- I am their Human lol
Do you, by any chance, drink chardonnay, Read Grazia and eat diet pasta meals for one?"Ha ! Garden path ..... | |||
"I have 3 cats and a dog. Cats rule the roost, the dog knows who is in charge. And they are not MY cats- I am their Human lol
Do you, by any chance, drink chardonnay, Read Grazia and eat diet pasta meals for one?
No, I drink Vodka, read books, and cook!"Most times she Beads Rodka Binks Boods and Vooks ! | |||
"I have 3 cats and a dog. Cats rule the roost, the dog knows who is in charge. And they are not MY cats- I am their Human lol
Do you, by any chance, drink chardonnay, Read Grazia and eat diet pasta meals for one?
No, I drink Vodka, read books, and cook!"Good. I reserve the right to pinch your arse in Tesco's | |||
"I have 3 cats and a dog. Cats rule the roost, the dog knows who is in charge. And they are not MY cats- I am their Human lol
Do you, by any chance, drink chardonnay, Read Grazia and eat diet pasta meals for one?
No, I drink Vodka, read books, and cook!
Most times she Beads Rodka Binks Boods and Vooks !"More water with it Grann! | |||
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"I have a 9 month ragdoll cat who is more like a dog than a cat, he runs to the door meowing when somebody knocks and plays fetch. He wants to be with me all the time and is very devoted, but that has probably got something to do with him being an indoor cat." love ragdolls there gorgeous.. | |||
"I have a 9 month ragdoll cat who is more like a dog than a cat, he runs to the door meowing when somebody knocks and plays fetch. He wants to be with me all the time and is very devoted, but that has probably got something to do with him being an indoor cat." My Siamese was an indoor cat until I rehomed her(rich people with more money than sense didn't want her), and loves going out now, but hates the cold and the wet! She will use any available body for warmth, me, the dog, the other cats- much Like Sensual(In my imagination) | |||
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"Grab cat, shove your finger up it's ass, shove the pill in its gaping mouth. Job done." Think I might try that trick on Mr next time he's complaining about some ache or pain and won't take a painkiller!! | |||
"How to get a cat to take a pill: Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth. Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table. Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours). Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. "Omg just love it lol Should of tried putting it in a bit of patty
We have got 3 pussy cats 2 are moggies and my noodles is a persian.
She lays on her back and says tickle my tummy with a grin on her face as she sticks her back claws in your hand and kicks  | |||
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"I love cats although i have a dog at the moment. Cats are beautiful creatures "did i mention u have beautiful cat shaped eyes... | |||
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