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Why shoes are better than children.
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You can sell them on ebay when you realise they were a mistake.
If you get them home and realise they don’t match your outfit, you can usually get a refund or exchange them for better ones.
Charity shops will even take the older ones off your hands when you want to make a bit more space.
You only pay for them once… not for the rest of your life.
You are more likely to only buy what you can afford to have.
They never puke on your sofa.
They only scream ‘buy me’ when you look at them in the shop and once you have the screaming stops forever.
They don’t wreck the house if you leave them at home.
The older ones don’t one day decide you are a controlling bastard and feel ashamed to walk down the street with you.
They will never drag you onto Jeremy Kyle and tell the world what a failure you are…. demanding a DNA test.
They will never choose a skanky lowlife waster over you and send you hate mail for trying to ruin their life.
They won’t discuss you on the internet.
They accept your love unconditionally.
They will love you just as much as you love them.
If they hurt you no one will report you to social service for throwing them in the bin.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahh,but they don't cuddle you and tell you they love you,
or say "find it,get it,argos it!" in the most adorable voice ever totally out of the blue!!(3 yr old) |
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"You can customise them with superglue, glitter, a hole-punch and ribbon.
surely you can do that with children ? 
Apparently social services get a bit arsey about the hole-punch. oh bugger  "
I wish I'd known that this morning |
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