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Honeys helpline
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, we've made it through Christmas.
It can be a challenging time with all that drink and crazy family.
Do you need help or advice? Somewhere to hide out?
Tell me your woes "
I can't fix your title with an apostrophe. |
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"So, we've made it through Christmas.
It can be a challenging time with all that drink and crazy family.
Do you need help or advice? Somewhere to hide out?
Tell me your woes
I can't fix your title with an apostrophe."
My phone is on top typo form today. Sorry  |
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"I’ve overdosed on afrer eight mints - I think I’m turning into a watery thin mint....
Help  "
I like to play a game where you put one on your forehead and have to get it in your mouth without using your hands  |
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I just feel a bit flat now after Christmas with my family as I'm by myself again now,shall I take down my xmas decorations?
Weather is poo poo it's grey,windy and now started to snow by the looks of it,stuff going out to pick up my panto tickets  |
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"I’ve overdosed on afrer eight mints - I think I’m turning into a watery thin mint....
Help
I like to play a game where you put one on your forehead and have to get it in your mouth without using your hands "
BRB just getting an after eight mint  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise? "
Norovirus will do the job for ya.  |
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"I just feel a bit flat now after Christmas with my family as I'm by myself again now,shall I take down my xmas decorations?
Weather is poo poo it's grey,windy and now started to snow by the looks of it,stuff going out to pick up my panto tickets "
Put some music on, take them down if it helps and get out in the fresh air to blow the blues away  |
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise?
Norovirus will do the job for ya. "
 . Turkey in 2 days should do the job |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me honey. I may be addicted to Wotsits (and most other cheesy flavoured puffed snacks) 
I don't know that I can help you, only cheesus can save you now. "
Haha!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me honey. I may be addicted to Wotsits (and most other cheesy flavoured puffed snacks)
I don't know that I can help you, only cheesus can save you now. "
Lol |
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies 
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate "
Luxury chocolate biscuits here too - all gone now! Only the mince pies and Xmas cake to get rid of now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate "
I had chocolate cherry liqueurs. I decided as it contains fruit it's allowed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise?
Sex. All the sex "
Sadly for my waistline, flying solo doesn't seem to work |
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate
Luxury chocolate biscuits here too - all gone now! Only the mince pies and Xmas cake to get rid of now. "
I've got too much food left. Peach You are going to have to help me. |
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate
I had chocolate cherry liqueurs. I decided as it contains fruit it's allowed "
 |
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise?
Sex. All the sex
Sadly for my waistline, flying solo doesn't seem to work "
Sit up wanking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My back hurts
My bum hurts
My pussy is aching and dripping out someone's cum
My legs hurt
I look and feel a mess
And my hubby is in bed asleep so I can't shower yet incase I wake him up
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By *limarkCouple
over a year ago
Next door to Brenda & Clive |
When I was in my childhood days one of my favourite story books was The Magic Porridge pot, about a pot that never stopped giving porridge. Do you know if its possible to get Prosecco bottles like this?  |
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"When I was in my childhood days one of my favourite story books was The Magic Porridge pot, about a pot that never stopped giving porridge. Do you know if its possible to get Prosecco bottles like this? "
I wish!! |
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"My back hurts
My bum hurts
My pussy is aching and dripping out someone's cum
My legs hurt
I look and feel a mess
And my hubby is in bed asleep so I can't shower yet incase I wake him up
"
I fail to see this as a problem |
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"I literally had to go and buy my own Lynx africa yesterday, I feel like I was too bad for santa
Lol my son said it wasn’t Christmas unless he had a Lynx Africa set. I was happy to oblige.
"
I got the "black edition" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After spending nearly 4 hours with Star Wars Lego, I’ve cone to realise that I don’t have all the pieces so can’t finish it, it’s the speederbike set for those who are interested |
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"Had a tooth out this morning. Dentist says I’ve to take it easy but I’m off to a club tonight. What position do you suggest Miss Honey so that I’m still following the dentist’s advice?
"
Missionary, doggy, basically make them do the work  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single bloke on here starting to think there is something wrong with me haha not getting meets, messages etc yet when I first come on was beating them off haha .. |
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"As a single bloke on here starting to think there is something wrong with me haha not getting meets, messages etc yet when I first come on was beating them off haha .."
Me too. Now I just embrace the fact that I am an old vagina. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single bloke on here starting to think there is something wrong with me haha not getting meets, messages etc yet when I first come on was beating them off haha ..
Me too. Now I just embrace the fact that I am an old vagina. "
You were closer I'd meet you  think that's what it Is, I'm knocking on now? haha |
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"I am at work. It's busy and I am on call tonight.
Can you hide me away please?*
*Not under the new patio at Honey towers.
Come hide in my bed "
Whoo duvet den! Do you have a torch? It'll be dark. |
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"I am at work. It's busy and I am on call tonight.
Can you hide me away please?*
*Not under the new patio at Honey towers.
Come hide in my bed
Whoo duvet den! Do you have a torch? It'll be dark. "
I eat my carrots, no need for a torch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fire needs a log adding, and there’s cellophane around the next box of chocolates.
What am I to do?
Throw a log on and I'll open the cellophane "
Deal x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I :
1. Have a snooze
2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one)
3. Prep dinner
4. Pour a gin and do some colouring.
5. Continue perving on here
Help!!
Peach x |
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"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I :
1. Have a snooze
2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one)
3. Prep dinner
4. Pour a gin and do some colouring.
5. Continue perving on here
Help!!
Peach x"
You could combine 2 & 3 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I :
1. Have a snooze
2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one)
3. Prep dinner
4. Pour a gin and do some colouring.
5. Continue perving on here
Help!!
Peach x
You could combine 2 & 3 "
HEALTH AND SAFETY ALERT!!
I shall attempt it now...
Peach x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The rum is gone.......why has the run gone? 
Because the pirate drank it. The shop is open, get more."
No I didn't....
But getting more of anything is always good advice  |
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"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I :
1. Have a snooze
2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one)
3. Prep dinner
4. Pour a gin and do some colouring.
5. Continue perving on here
Help!!
Peach x"
Wank then gin |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"So, we've made it through Christmas.
It can be a challenging time with all that drink and crazy family.
Do you need help or advice? Somewhere to hide out?
Tell me your woes "
I need help with a swelling that I would like to hide somewhere 
Grabs coat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I :
1. Have a snooze
2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one)
3. Prep dinner
4. Pour a gin and do some colouring.
5. Continue perving on here
Help!!
Peach x"
Ok, do all of the above in this order
3, the first part of 4, 2 whilst doing 5, then 1.
You're welcome. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I now need to go out to get my massage after an insecure boyfriend vetoed a home visit. Im now thinking do I go and let his mind rest or cancel to make him think more was in the cards if a home visit happened. |
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"I now need to go out to get my massage after an insecure boyfriend vetoed a home visit. Im now thinking do I go and let his mind rest or cancel to make him think more was in the cards if a home visit happened. "
Like you need to ask |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Had a tooth out this morning. Dentist says I’ve to take it easy but I’m off to a club tonight. What position do you suggest Miss Honey so that I’m still following the dentist’s advice?
Missionary, doggy, basically make them do the work "
Thanks Miss Honey |
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"I am at work. It's busy and I am on call tonight.
Can you hide me away please?*
*Not under the new patio at Honey towers.
Come hide in my bed
Whoo duvet den! Do you have a torch? It'll be dark.
I eat my carrots, no need for a torch "
Ahh. But then you may visage the horror of my countenance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've drank far too much gin, I'm now running low & my next batch won't be ready til end of Jan.
I may have to resort to buying gin
Oh the woe! "
I wonder if Discovery have a gap in their schedule for “South Coast Moonshiners” !!  |
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