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Christmas cracker jokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

How do you keep cool at a football match?

Stand next to a fan

O dear

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost

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By *lueWonderMan over a year ago

Preston.....ish

Where does Tarzan buy his clothes.....

From a jungle sale

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Where does Tarzan buy his clothes.....

From a jungle sale

Dear lord

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By *entaur_UKMan over a year ago

Cannock

If the Snowman's dog melts, what is he left with?

A slush puppy.

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By *icearmsMan over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

What have a tree and a dog got in common? ....

Bark!

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By *rimson_RoseWoman over a year ago

Lea Marston

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck.

A Christmas Quacker. We’re still laughing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just go and fecking sleep it off d*unk fecker

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks ?

Santa Jaws

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just go and fecking sleep it off d*unk fecker"

Your fecking right...it won't let you type pissed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Park in it man

Ads

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just go and fecking sleep it off d*unk fecker

Your fecking right...it won't let you type pissed

As i found out last night,anyway f**k you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just go and fecking sleep it off d*unk fecker

Your fecking right...it won't let you type pissed

As i found out last night,anyway f**k you!"

I can manage to type feck

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By *lueWonderMan over a year ago

Preston.....ish

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

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By *lueWonderMan over a year ago

Preston.....ish

Who is never hungry at Christmas?

The turkey... He's always stuffed.

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By *lueWonderMan over a year ago

Preston.....ish

Why can't the car play football?

Because it's only got one boot...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why can't the car play football?

Because it's only got one boot...

Haha nice one

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By *ichaelangelaCouple over a year ago

notts

why did they ask a chicken to join the band?

he was the only one with drumsticks

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By *eisurepleasureMan over a year ago

belfast

Whats a pizza delvery man and a gynaecologist got in common

They can smell it but cant eat it

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By *imandHerNottsCouple over a year ago

North Notts

Why does Santa come down the chimney?

Because Mrs Clause said there was no way he was getting in the back door!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do hedgehogs have for lunch?

Prickled onions x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do hedgehogs have for lunch?

Prickled onions x "

Ffs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do ghosts eat?

Spookghetti x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are horses good at cleaning?

They are always hoofering

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By *rHornyGentMan over a year ago

South East London

What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone!!

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