FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Reject me politely.
Reject me politely.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Armed with the knowledge you've picked up on Fab, and especially with people's views over this question. 'Why do people delete/unread.
How would you answer....
I've read your profile (insert your name), I especially like the fact were similar, (insert specific thing we both like that I found in your profile). I hope we can talk, maybe you'd like to join me for a coffee, I enjoy socials and getting to know people more, hopefully getting to know each other more intimately. 
Thank you. MrBee.
So. 'Politely' say no to me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are such a splendid fellow i fear i may pale to your expectations ,so with a heavy heart i have to say sport sir but no and good luck in your adventure  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey there, thanks for the message but I don't think we are compatible. I like a man who takes time to get to know me which starts with reading my profile. The 17 dick pics you sent prove you haven't even bothered to do that. Good luck though x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey there, thanks for the message but I don't think we are compatible. I like a man who takes time to get to know me which starts with reading my profile. The 17 dick pics you sent prove you haven't even bothered to do that. Good luck though x"
You turned down a man with 17 dicks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very generic message layout.. probably not helped by the way it's set out here though.. but I'd delete.
Its funny though, a few times I've applied the deletion as a no thanks thing to messages from women and couples and there's been hell to pay.
Strange how that works isn't it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very generic message layout.. probably not helped by the way it's set out here though.. but I'd delete.
Its funny though, a few times I've applied the deletion as a no thanks thing to messages from women and couples and there's been hell to pay.
Strange how that works isn't it "
Lol! This is why we generally put an add on in an opening message saying it's OK to delete if not interested. Saves stress all round. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties "
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you for your well thought out message mister bee, unfortunately it appears we are too far away from each other to meet so 'the computer says no....' |
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"Armed with the knowledge you've picked up on Fab, and especially with people's views over this question. 'Why do people delete/unread.
How would you answer....
I've read your profile (insert your name), I especially like the fact were similar, (insert specific thing we both like that I found in your profile). I hope we can talk, maybe you'd like to join me for a coffee, I enjoy socials and getting to know people more, hopefully getting to know each other more intimately.
Thank you. MrBee.
So. 'Politely' say no to me.
"
Thank you for your message - admittedly it's a vast improvement on the filth you usually send. However, as I'm sure you wouldn't wish to see the unfortunate effect real coffee has on my stomach, I must nonetheless regretfully decline your kind invitation.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Armed with the knowledge you've picked up on Fab, and especially with people's views over this question. 'Why do people delete/unread.
How would you answer....
I've read your profile (insert your name), I especially like the fact were similar, (insert specific thing we both like that I found in your profile). I hope we can talk, maybe you'd like to join me for a coffee, I enjoy socials and getting to know people more, hopefully getting to know each other more intimately.
Thank you. MrBee.
So. 'Politely' say no to me.
Thank you for your message - admittedly it's a vast improvement on the filth you usually send. However, as I'm sure you wouldn't wish to see the unfortunate effect real coffee has on my stomach, I must nonetheless regretfully decline your kind invitation.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I was a woman I'd be replying
You've Clearly sent me a copy and paste message as you've left (insert your name) and (insert specific thing) in your message
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
"
Then I would think somebody like that wouldn't have been a good match to begin with, due to their self-consciousness, or possible narcissism/entitlement. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
Then I would think somebody like that wouldn't have been a good match to begin with, due to their self-consciousness, or possible narcissism/entitlement. "
I agree and you've got a point. , we don't want to exhaust all our own energy trying to pamper everyone else's needs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
"
This isn't a place for a man with self confidence/esteem issues IMO.
Again, paradoxically.. it's an ideal place for a woman with them to a degree
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if im being polite i will send a sorry not for me have fun type of message - or simply delete "
and now ive read what im supposed to write (not long since woken up ) - if i were to say no to you it would be a miracle as men cant get through the filters yet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
This isn't a place for a man with self confidence/esteem issues IMO.
Again, paradoxically.. it's an ideal place for a woman with them to a degree
"
Your probably right, I'm amazed people brave it here on Fab if they're already anxious people. But, I've listened on the forum, it's proven they exist. That doesn't warrant being so harsh if they are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi misterbee x thanks for your 'enticing' msg x though you seem to be an interesting, sexy man you'd have to improve your pulling technique vastly to reach the standard of manliness that I'm currently used to. Though I would give you a chance if you plied me with haribos...
Peach x |
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"If I was a woman I'd be replying
You've Clearly sent me a copy and paste message as you've left (insert your name) and (insert specific thing) in your message
"
haha I got one yesterday that said hi big gap, then 2 min later same message saying hi Diane and Martin, would normally delete both but decided to challenge him, he denied cutting andpasting and said he really liked me! deleted and blocked! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I was a woman I'd be replying
You've Clearly sent me a copy and paste message as you've left (insert your name) and (insert specific thing) in your message
haha I got one yesterday that said hi big gap, then 2 min later same message saying hi Diane and Martin, would normally delete both but decided to challenge him, he denied cutting andpasting and said he really liked me! deleted and blocked!"
How can you deny when it's clear you've been caught out?   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As an avid tea drinker I will have to decline your kind offer of coffee. Would you like to fuck instead?
P.S. You will have to scrub the taste of coffee from your tongue first. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"*delete and block*
That's a polite refusal around here. "
It's a polite refusal. But do you not not agree, it could be out more politely. Because in effect, you've ignored me. And that's ignorant. No?
My point is clear what I'm trying to say, and it's my biggest rant at the website. Saying ignoring someone is a polite no, is so off the mark. And if anyone agrees with me, your alright my books. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As an avid tea drinker I will have to decline your kind offer of coffee. Would you like to fuck instead?
P.S. You will have to scrub the taste of coffee from your tongue first. "
I'll pop a mint in. |
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"**message deleted**
Would you have thought that was "polite", before you were were told it was from the FAQ's.
Serious question. "
Mr bee. I do like this  . So many brain washed zombies. Or double standard profiles. This comment here sir has earned you a free meal and a pint from me haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*delete and block*
That's a polite refusal around here.
It's a polite refusal. But do you not not agree, it could be out more politely. Because in effect, you've ignored me. And that's ignorant. No?
My point is clear what I'm trying to say, and it's my biggest rant at the website. Saying ignoring someone is a polite no, is so off the mark. And if anyone agrees with me, your alright my books. "
I agree.
I find it weird that people seem to think the Internet should be any different to real life. It's still human beings behind the profiles.
People rant about others treating them like a piece of meat yet they happily admit to doing the same. Sometimes even stating their rudeness with glee.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"*delete and block*
That's a polite refusal around here.
It's a polite refusal. But do you not not agree, it could be out more politely. Because in effect, you've ignored me. And that's ignorant. No?
My point is clear what I'm trying to say, and it's my biggest rant at the website. Saying ignoring someone is a polite no, is so off the mark. And if anyone agrees with me, your alright my books.
I agree.
I find it weird that people seem to think the Internet should be any different to real life. It's still human beings behind the profiles.
People rant about others treating them like a piece of meat yet they happily admit to doing the same. Sometimes even stating their rudeness with glee.... "
spot on there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you for the lovely message but unfortunately you're not what we're looking for. Hope you have plenty of fun x"
It doesn't get more polite than this, unless you were sucking my cock at the same time. |
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Oh how refreshing that someone has taken the time to read my profile, makes a pleasant change. Thank you.
Unfortunately I'm not in a position to make plans to meet, but I really do wish you well on your fab adventure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have always been polite but had a few nasty messages after saying to them sorry I'm not meeting or your not what I'm looking for. Alot of people do not like rejection polite or not .So alot end up being blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"**message deleted**
Would you have thought that was "polite", before you were were told it was from the FAQ's.
Serious question.
Mr bee. I do like this . So many brain washed zombies. Or double standard profiles. This comment here sir has earned you a free meal and a pint from me haha"
How does that make me a brain washed zombie, or a double standards profile? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"**message deleted**
Would you have thought that was "polite", before you were were told it was from the FAQ's.
Serious question.
Mr bee. I do like this . So many brain washed zombies. Or double standard profiles. This comment here sir has earned you a free meal and a pint from me haha
How does that make me a brain washed zombie, or a double standards profile? "
Shh. Don't cause trouble. I've got a free meal and a pint riding on this.
I do get the delete/unread is what is the easiest thing to do. And it is easy, you've loads of messages, too many to manage in some cases. But it's not the most polite way of doing things. Is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"**message deleted**
Would you have thought that was "polite", before you were were told it was from the FAQ's.
Serious question.
Mr bee. I do like this . So many brain washed zombies. Or double standard profiles. This comment here sir has earned you a free meal and a pint from me haha
How does that make me a brain washed zombie, or a double standards profile?
Shh. Don't cause trouble. I've got a free meal and a pint riding on this.
I do get the delete/unread is what is the easiest thing to do. And it is easy, you've loads of messages, too many to manage in some cases. But it's not the most polite way of doing things. Is it? "
I do plan on giving a more detailed response, but I need to think about it.
Do you not see the irony in someone in the 'it's polite to reply' camp insulting me in a passive-aggresive and indirect way? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"**message deleted**
Would you have thought that was "polite", before you were were told it was from the FAQ's.
Serious question.
Mr bee. I do like this . So many brain washed zombies. Or double standard profiles. This comment here sir has earned you a free meal and a pint from me haha
How does that make me a brain washed zombie, or a double standards profile?
Shh. Don't cause trouble. I've got a free meal and a pint riding on this.
I do get the delete/unread is what is the easiest thing to do. And it is easy, you've loads of messages, too many to manage in some cases. But it's not the most polite way of doing things. Is it?
I do plan on giving a more detailed response, but I need to think about it.
Do you not see the irony in someone in the 'it's polite to reply' camp insulting me in a passive-aggresive and indirect way? "
Haha. Yes. |
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I usually say thanks for taking the time to message me. You are not what I'm looking for, but good luck with your search. Or something similar.
P.S. OP I would not say that to you. I would say yes please where and when? |
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"Oh how refreshing that someone has taken the time to read my profile, makes a pleasant change. Thank you.
Unfortunately I'm not in a position to make plans to meet, but I really do wish you well on your fab adventure. "
I'm stealing this Peach x |
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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"You are a sad, strange little man. You have my pity. Farewell."
Oh wait... you said gently.
"Thank you for your message, but I'm not seeing anyone currently. However if I do in the future, then a social might be on the cards" |
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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
"
I get that. Makes me pause when sending another message. It's not great and something I am trying to work through. |
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"Oh how refreshing that someone has taken the time to read my profile, makes a pleasant change. Thank you.
Unfortunately I'm not in a position to make plans to meet, but I really do wish you well on your fab adventure.
I'm stealing this Peach x"
Go for it |
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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
This isn't a place for a man with self confidence/esteem issues IMO.
Again, paradoxically.. it's an ideal place for a woman with them to a degree
"
Oh well, I'll go and fuck off then. |
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I have an auto reject message typed into my keyboard shortcuts so with 5 letters I can type:
Sorry not what I'm looking for but happy fabbing x
It's quick for me, generic and so far doesn't cause offence. It occasionally gets the 'why not?' Or 'please change your mind' but anything after my rejection gets deleted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't reply to most messages for another reason.
Anytime I turn off my mail filters so that men can message me I get around 200 messages a day. So I have no choice but to block men 99% of the time and only unblock when I am looking.
The downside of replying to all messages is that once you reply, in the future that person can message you, even if your message filters block them. Therefore I only ever reply to men that I am interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry, I have a one in, one out policy and my dance card is currently full as it were. Happy swinging!"
This is by far my favourite response though. |
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I have a rather special one for when people ask me to meet now in their car or van and go for a drive....
That ain't happening sunshine, for all I know you could be buffalo bill. Give precious a kiss from me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't reply to most messages for another reason.
Anytime I turn off my mail filters so that men can message me I get around 200 messages a day. So I have no choice but to block men 99% of the time and only unblock when I am looking.
The downside of replying to all messages is that once you reply, in the future that person can message you, even if your message filters block them. Therefore I only ever reply to men that I am interested in."
That last bit. Another reason where the website it's self needs to find a solution. that's another rant for Thursday. I'm collecting a few. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry, I have a one in, one out policy and my dance card is currently full as it were. Happy swinging!
This is by far my favourite response though. "
I'll remember and I'll hopefully send it you one day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The downside of replying to all messages is that once you reply, in the future that person can message you, even if your message filters block them. Therefore I only ever reply to men that I am interested in."
That's one of the reasons we don't reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry, I have a one in, one out policy and my dance card is currently full as it were. Happy swinging!
This is by far my favourite response though.
I'll remember and I'll hopefully send it you one day. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thank you Mister Bee
For messaging me
Unfortunately you see
You don't drink tea
So I'll have to politeleeee
Convert your silly ways to actually liking it first.
Oh balls.....messed it up.
I'll have a think |
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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago
West Midlands |
"Armed with the knowledge you've picked up on Fab, and especially with people's views over this question. 'Why do people delete/unread.
How would you answer....
I've read your profile (insert your name), I especially like the fact were similar, (insert specific thing we both like that I found in your profile). I hope we can talk, maybe you'd like to join me for a coffee, I enjoy socials and getting to know people more, hopefully getting to know each other more intimately.
Thank you. MrBee.
So. 'Politely' say no to me.
"
Thanks for looking but I'm not into guys.
If I ever decide to experiment you'll be top of my list 
Happy fabbing |
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"
The downside of replying to all messages is that once you reply, in the future that person can message you, even if your message filters block them. Therefore I only ever reply to men that I am interested in.
That's one of the reasons we don't reply "
I'm having this issue at the moment... Guys I've previously said no thanks to, and given an explanation as to why, messaging again a few weeks/months later having forgotten they already tried ~ pretty obvious they've the attention span of a goldfish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
The downside of replying to all messages is that once you reply, in the future that person can message you, even if your message filters block them. Therefore I only ever reply to men that I am interested in.
That's one of the reasons we don't reply
I'm having this issue at the moment... Guys I've previously said no thanks to, and given an explanation as to why, messaging again a few weeks/months later having forgotten they already tried ~ pretty obvious they've the attention span of a goldfish "
When you get rejected as often as I do, it's hars to remember who turned you down and who you just had a bried conversation with. Private notes are a real help here, as long as you remember to use them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Armed with the knowledge you've picked up on Fab, and especially with people's views over this question. 'Why do people delete/unread.
How would you answer....
I've read your profile (insert your name), I especially like the fact were similar, (insert specific thing we both like that I found in your profile). I hope we can talk, maybe you'd like to join me for a coffee, I enjoy socials and getting to know people more, hopefully getting to know each other more intimately.
Thank you. MrBee.
Don't
So. 'Politely' say no to me.
"
I'm 5'10" I wear heels, I like tea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm having this issue at the moment... Guys I've previously said no thanks to, and given an explanation as to why, messaging again a few weeks/months later having forgotten they already tried ~ pretty obvious they've the attention span of a goldfish "
I used to reply to everybody and make notes on their profiles, because yes, they will try their luck again in the future. I don't anymore because its just too much work. Now I follow my instincts and make a decision in the first few seconds. This all may sound harsh to the poor men that are trying to get our attention, but it can be fucking brutal being a single woman on here! I'm trying to keep this fun, not a full time job. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you've looked at and liked my profile, I'd have hoped you also read it. In which case you'll know I'm not currently looking to meet single guys alone "
This still saddens me  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure rejection can be done politely? "
But you can't say yes to everyone. That asks. So we need to say no. So do you choose harsh and clinical. Or something polite and tactile? |
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"Armed with the knowledge you've picked up on Fab, and especially with people's views over this question. 'Why do people delete/unread.
How would you answer....
I've read your profile (insert your name), I especially like the fact were similar, (insert specific thing we both like that I found in your profile). I hope we can talk, maybe you'd like to join me for a coffee, I enjoy socials and getting to know people more, hopefully getting to know each other more intimately.
Thank you. MrBee.
So. 'Politely' say no to me.
"
Meh! Copy and paste!
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"I'm sorry, I have a one in, one out policy and my dance card is currently full as it were. Happy swinging!
This is by far my favourite response though.
I'll remember and I'll hopefully send it you one day. "
Pmsl! 'Plan Bee'? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always say 'sorry but you're not what I'm looking for....happy fabbing'
and I always get a thanks back "
Or try the Jedi response. "I'm not the woman your looking for" . See if that get rid of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always say 'sorry but you're not what I'm looking for....happy fabbing'
and I always get a thanks back
Or try the Jedi response. "I'm not the woman your looking for" . See if that get rid of them. "
I have said that to a few people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not sure rejection can be done politely?
But you can't say yes to everyone. That asks. So we need to say no. So do you choose harsh and clinical. Or something polite and tactile?"
Or not reply at all? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always say 'sorry but you're not what I'm looking for....happy fabbing'
and I always get a thanks back
Or try the Jedi response. "I'm not the woman your looking for" . See if that get rid of them. "
tbh that would probably go over a lot of people's heads... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always say 'sorry but you're not what I'm looking for....happy fabbing'
and I always get a thanks back
Or try the Jedi response. "I'm not the woman your looking for" . See if that get rid of them.
tbh that would probably go over a lot of people's heads... "
Yours?  |
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"Armed with the knowledge you've picked up on Fab, and especially with people's views over this question. 'Why do people delete/unread.
How would you answer....
I've read your profile (insert your name), I especially like the fact were similar, (insert specific thing we both like that I found in your profile). I hope we can talk, maybe you'd like to join me for a coffee, I enjoy socials and getting to know people more, hopefully getting to know each other more intimately.
Thank you. MrBee.
So. 'Politely' say no to me.
"
We aren't compatible I dont like big girls. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always say 'sorry but you're not what I'm looking for....happy fabbing'
and I always get a thanks back
Or try the Jedi response. "I'm not the woman your looking for" . See if that get rid of them.
tbh that would probably go over a lot of people's heads... "
Would have been better as yoda......"the woman you are looking for........I am not" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
"
I can appreciate that. I am always polite and try to answer as many as I can, even if it's to say no but ultimately we can't please everyone I guess |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you get a lot of messages it is sometimes impossible to reply to them all. I try but can't always get to them and then get freaked out when my inbox is full (I am usually a bit of a control freak) and then do a bulk delete to reduce my anxieties
I've also thought of the other side of that, the self conscious who thinks the deleted/unread message isn't a polite no, it's more of a reflection towards him/her causing more anxiety than they had before they struggled putting themselves forward for rejection, when they sent the pm.
I can appreciate that. I am always polite and try to answer as many as I can, even if it's to say no but ultimately we can't please everyone I guess "
No you can't, Not from London. No |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always say 'sorry but you're not what I'm looking for....happy fabbing'
and I always get a thanks back
Or try the Jedi response. "I'm not the woman your looking for" . See if that get rid of them.
tbh that would probably go over a lot of people's heads...
Would have been better as yoda......"the woman you are looking for........I am not" "
Haha. Perfect. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Hi there,
Thanks for your lovely message, and detailed profile but if I read your username correctly it didn't say MisterBi and I'd therefore respectfully suggest either we're not compatible or you're Fab straight and therefore not for me.
Yours blah blah blah... |
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