FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Things that porn films have taught us
Things that porn films have taught us
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
I'll go first with an easy one.
After being in the house for no more than 90 seconds, a plumber will get propositioned by a semi naked woman  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A randomer you've just met? Sure let's bareback right away .. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That men love it when a gal jacks them off at 130 mph with her tongue hanging out waiting.....and waiting.......and waiting......and bleurgh.....up the nostril was not in the script. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That there is alot of ways to use a cup |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Women love arse to mouth |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That stuff portrayed in them shouldn't always be attempted by us mere muggles. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
That women tend to keep their shoes on. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That you can stick it in without foreplay and there shouldn't be a problem. Also they all love it in the bum too.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That every woman has thighs of steel and can bounce up and down on a cock, on any suface, in 5 inch heels, and still look graceful. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That if you're a lad calling round at your mate's house when he's out (does this happen anymore with mobile phones in play?) then his mum is going to be all over you. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Good looking Asian girls are always she-males. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Every woman loves it when another woman with inch-long nails shoves three fingers up her pussy. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When men fuck other men, they communicate silently using only their eyebrows to express themselves. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That doctors regularly inspect ladies vaginas with their penises  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That's there are hoards of step mum or mom's that want to teach their step sons how to fuck their GF's. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When men fuck other men, they communicate silently using only their eyebrows to express themselves."
 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Every woman is a sexual gymnast!!  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That lesbians are good looking. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That sex is over when a man cums.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Squirting!  "
they taught you to squirt? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That sex is over when a man cums. "
Hell i could teach you that! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That women love having a guy ball deep in their mouth until they nearly pass out..
Then he pulls out as her saliva nearly drowns the both of them...
Or is that only Max Steiner!!!
That guy is OTT.. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
New neighbours still pop around for some sugar. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Women like it when you spit into their mouths. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
I wish I had a step mum. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That sex is over when a man cums. "
.
No it just means I'll be asleep but you can carry on |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That bashing a vag at the rate of knotts evokes an eruption from said vag, and then you MUST clit slap. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That you don't have to offer good looking girls at the side of road free kittens and Haribo to get them into your van  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I'll go first with an easy one.
After being in the house for no more than 90 seconds, a plumber will get propositioned by a semi naked woman "
That's not happened to me in a long time lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
That we walk about in our heels and stockings all day just waiting for the handyman/delivery man/neighbour to ring the bell. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
To lick a pussy, in the style of a Labrador licking it's balls. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That men like doing doggy style thrusting with one hand on their hip.
That fucking outdoors in blazing hot sunshine shouldn't mean your top lip turns into Niagra Falls. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That prison is a muff minefield, and there's a guard who's gonna take you to hell/heaven simultaneously |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Women are willing to take gallons of cum in the face |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Women are willing to take gallons of cum in the face"
Oh yes, and they must grin and bear it and pretend it doesn't feel like your eyeball is being scratched by a cactus if a bit of jizz flies in. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There is a hidden erogenous zone between ladies boobs, that when stimulated by a cock, during a tit wank, results in a strong and vocal orgasm. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
[Removed by poster at 21/06/17 16:58:34] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Love this topic...
Well for those men who seek to learn these things... It teaches men... By demonstration... The need to delay their orgasms and maintain stamina for the sake of the woman's pleasure... In recent years even more so... Given the number of absolutely rubbish meets I've had with men on Fab... Shocking really that porn-watching men won't even begin to emulate their fellow menfolk on the porn screen |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
[Removed by poster at 21/06/17 17:01:38] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Things That Porn Films Have Taught Us....
That my ex had never seen any porn film....ever  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Woman's vaginas are extremely smooth and hairless and have no stubble, like none, not one stupid fricking hair  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Beware when you're at the dentist, they like to stick things in your mouth while you are out of it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A randomer you've just met? Sure let's bareback right away .. "
Wait that's not normal
Ooops 
I would say that women want jackhammer style anal within 20 seconds...only using spit as lube. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That all women moan loudly every 2 seconds and pull the 'ooo' pursed lips face.
Women are also the users of the most crude language known to man. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Well if I'm enjoying myself... Yes absolutely |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I got a job as a taxi driver I would get loads of women wanting to use me. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some women do anal without lube |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That he needs to "fuck me harder" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That women only need their pussy eaten for about a 1 minute before they come... and then of course she'll be soooo grateful she'll suck your cock for 45mins in return... and of course we all love facials! And are as excited by jizz on our face as you are!  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That most girls love being held down and throat fucked like a whore and act with pure gratitude every single time.
(Except Sammi does... lol). |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That a Nunnery is full of super models with a penchant of cock |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That bashing a vag at the rate of knotts evokes an eruption from said vag, and then you MUST clit slap."
Pet hate! Clit slapping.., wtaf! That stuff hurts, way to get me to shrink back in  Tells me the guy has got all his moves from watching porn! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That bashing a vag at the rate of knotts evokes an eruption from said vag, and then you MUST clit slap.
Pet hate! Clit slapping.., wtaf! That stuff hurts, way to get me to shrink back in Tells me the guy has got all his moves from watching porn!"
Love clit slapping, any kind of slapping actually! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That bashing a vag at the rate of knotts evokes an eruption from said vag, and then you MUST clit slap.
Pet hate! Clit slapping.., wtaf! That stuff hurts, way to get me to shrink back in Tells me the guy has got all his moves from watching porn!"
100% makes me cringe |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"If I got a job as a taxi driver I would get loads of women wanting to use me."
Hahahahahaha |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That he needs to "fuck me harder""
Must say this is usually the case in my experience... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Some women do anal without lube"
Quite easy with plenty of saliva and natural lubrication of the rectum |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That most girls love being held down and throat fucked like a whore and act with pure gratitude every single time.
(Except Sammi does... lol)."
I do actually love this and it's very hard to obtain... True. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That women only need their pussy eaten for about a 1 minute before they come... and then of course she'll be soooo grateful she'll suck your cock for 45mins in return... and of course we all love facials! And are as excited by jizz on our face as you are! "
It's true there are many women who love to suck multiple cocks for ages and who also love multiple cocks Cumming on their face. I should know. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That women love sucking off a strapon dildo. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That sitting on that couch in that room, your video wont end up on the internet |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *rowleyMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
That any guy can get laid by beautiful women. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That boobs shouldn't move!
Regardless of any activity lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That every woman has thighs of steel and can bounce up and down on a cock, on any suface, in 5 inch heels, and still look graceful."
Plenty of practice my dear lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That a woman taking her glasses off in a porn film is akin to Clark Kent taking off his and revealing the hunk that is Superman. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If your girlfriend walks in on you and another girl she will join in or watch through the crack of the door whilst playing with herself |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some guys would continue getting sucked and do more fucking after cumming |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *andDeeCouple
over a year ago
Ashford |
That women don't even have to open their mouths to moan like fuck. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When you've violently forced your cock so far down her throat she has to momentarily stop so she can gag/vomit/blow snot bubbles from her nose.....it's good form to use that lull in the proceedings to take the opportunity to smack her about her face with your cock before you ram it back in to use her tonsils as a punching bag again. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dont get a pool boy. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That everyone's female boss will have sex many times over her desk with her staff, especially when she's wearing a short skirted suit and sexy spectacles |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That if you're not elbow deep you're not doing it right |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That nurses who work together regularly have lesbian sex on the wards |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What mixchick said...
Women only need 5 mins of licking/foreplay and men get 55 mins.. with the standard facial oh and during that time the woman has squirted and cum buckets |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That womens only want huge cocks. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That sex is over when a man cums.
Hell i could teach you that! "
Teach me, Clem. Teach me everything. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
All women love being spanked. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That sex is over when a man cums. .
No it just means I'll be asleep but you can carry on "
Cheers |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
After sex rolling credits flash across your eyes. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Women come every session.
Women love A2M.
Lots of men and women fuck their step parents.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That there's no need for lube. Ever. Even when fucking really hard in the ass |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When men fuck other men, they communicate silently using only their eyebrows to express themselves."
It's our special code. I could teach you, but then I'd have to kill you. You know, official secrets act and all that. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That a fucking a womans ass then moving cock straight into her vaj is fine and will not end in a nasty infection |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That a fucking a womans ass then moving cock straight into her vaj is fine and will not end in a nasty infection "
Yeah how unrealistic is that?!?! I mean it's all unrealisticbht those women must really suffer |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
That if you've forgotten your purse you can just fuck the taxi driver instead |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That new sex move...buffering
Ginger |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Pool boys can be made to strip and fuck within 3 min |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That new sex move...buffering
Ginger "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That if you've forgotten your purse you can just fuck the taxi driver instead"
So that's why you got me to drive! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It taught me that despite all the things I thought made me a pervert...there's a hell of a lot more bizzare folk than I!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That Russians have no interior decorating style |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That is takes precisely half a second of oral or fingering to have a woman moaning, and writhing around in ecstasy. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *heffmMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
Your eyes can not unsee things  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That women cum from having a load of spunk shot on their faces. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Omg thank you thank you op for this thread it has had me literally LOL!!!
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That women tend to keep their shoes on. "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That you can stick it in without foreplay and there shouldn't be a problem. Also they all love it in the bum too. "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Genau so... Du willst mehr, nicht whar?
I have wette, Du wüßtest gerne, was ich sage, richtig? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
that toilets have more than one hole for use |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How to say 'yes I'm coming' in German. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When men fuck other men, they communicate silently using only their eyebrows to express themselves.
It's our special code. I could teach you, but then I'd have to kill you. You know, official secrets act and all that. "
But i'd go to heaven *cough* a happy lady |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When men fuck other men, they communicate silently using only their eyebrows to express themselves.
It's our special code. I could teach you, but then I'd have to kill you. You know, official secrets act and all that.
But i'd go to heaven *cough* a happy lady "
You would certainly go somewhere and I'm sure you'd be very happy. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good looking Asian girls are always she-males."
Real life has taught me this more than porn |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
couples always fuck there babysitters |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What mixchick said...
Women only need 5 mins of licking/foreplay and men get 55 mins.. with the standard facial oh and during that time the woman has squirted and cum buckets "
I was down on a lady for 4 hrs on an off the other day - seems like that was really appreciated and rare it seems from this thread - what did I learn from porn... how not to treat a real life partner - what have i learned from women?? Everything!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Women lay in their bed half clothed waiting for the gardener, plumber, pool guy, stepson,repo man to catch them. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There is no excuse for anyone not to be having sex 24/7 as everyone you encounter, anywhere is gagging for it, whether you're working, shopping, driving a taxi etc.
There must be thousands of very relaxed employers who place no pressure on staff to actually do much work.
However long, rough etc the shag, there are make-up brands that continue to keep you looking pristine.
Women love being fucked repetitively and don't get bored
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That it's ok to for men to wear socks during sex, so long as they are white. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That it's ok to for men to wear socks during sex, so long as they are white."
Germans love that |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
women have never seen a cock as big in there life.......no matter how many films they have been in.
Do the work there way up size wise and what happens when they have got to the biggest?
Do they get neurolised by the men in black to forget them all and start all over again |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If a woman spots someone perving on her while she is masturbating, instead of calling the police, she would pull him into the room and start sucking and riding his dick |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
porn taught me that to keep a job as a poolboy you have to stand around with a net, drag it across the water once or twice then have sex with the usually middle aged woman who pays you |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A randomer you've just met? Sure let's bareback right away .. "
Hahaha. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When men fuck other men, they communicate silently using only their eyebrows to express themselves.
"
This is true in saunas btw. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"That if you've forgotten your purse you can just fuck the taxi driver instead
So that's why you got me to drive! "
Ha of course |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That nhs workers gives a hand job to their patients lol. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stunning women do like ugly guys |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That if you're a penniless young student who can't afford to pay the rent, the buxom, horny landlady will always be happy to let you 'pay in kind'...
In the real world of course, we don't get fucked by large-breasted, sex-starved landladies...we get fucked by government tuition fees and high-interest student loans...
(Just thought I'd sneak in a topical political joke)
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
"When men fuck other men, they communicate silently using only their eyebrows to express themselves.
It's our special code. I could teach you, but then I'd have to kill you. You know, official secrets act and all that.
But i'd go to heaven *cough* a happy lady "
Yeah, right. I'll see you down there, most of you in fact |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *rowleyMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
You can fuck your teacher for a better grade. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That if you're a penniless young student who can't afford to pay the rent, the buxom, horny landlady will always be happy to let you 'pay in kind'...
In the real world of course, we don't get fucked by large-breasted, sex-starved landladies...we get fucked by government tuition fees and high-interest student loans...
(Just thought I'd sneak in a topical political joke)
"
Funnily enough, apparently when my older brother was a penniless student the buxom sex starved landlady of the pub he worked in worked was desperate for him to fuck her. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I'll go first with an easy one.
After being in the house for no more than 90 seconds, a plumber will get propositioned by a semi naked woman "
Dangers of stds as a lot of famous 80,s porn stars suffered greatly sorry to bring.it down |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No need to tell your partner how hot and sexy she is and who good it feels to be with her. No need to have a box of tissues by the bed |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Trannies go to all the trouble just so a guy can get is gay jollies. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Women are willing to take gallons of cum in the face"
Um!...
Maybe some women are! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That it is cool to act like rampant rabbits |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That I'm a crap fuck |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That crime doesn't pay, no, hold on, that's Midsomer Murders. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Czech woman do anything for money |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Kissing?! Nobody does that anymore! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Kissing?! Nobody does that anymore! "
That's why I like lesbian porn made for women, lots of kissing. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Porn can be boring these days that's why I like to shoot normal women usually 40+ with no scripts just real sex & however & whatever they enjoy doing it (as long as its legal) as it adds to the variety of reality porn.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That fanny farts never happen in a movie! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"That if you're a penniless young student who can't afford to pay the rent, the buxom, horny landlady will always be happy to let you 'pay in kind'...
In the real world of course, we don't get fucked by large-breasted, sex-starved landladies...we get fucked by government tuition fees and high-interest student loans...
(Just thought I'd sneak in a topical political joke)
Funnily enough, apparently when my older brother was a penniless student the buxom sex starved landlady of the pub he worked in worked was desperate for him to fuck her. "
Over the years I've worked as a window cleaner builder pub management amongst other things & yes I have had women ask for sex & you are put on the spot as it could cost you your job to say no, some of my younger life was more like scenes from the confessions films which didn'the scar me but gave me my interest in porn & swinging.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"porn taught me that to keep a job as a poolboy you have to stand around with a net, drag it across the water once or twice then have sex with the usually middle aged woman who pays you"
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Not every parked black London cab hasn't got people fucking in the back |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Enjoyed this light-hearted thread alot, thanks for the fun-Friday start |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Apparently you cannot fuck without full on Smokey eyes and lots of moaning.
I've been doing it wrong then... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Woman's vaginas are extremely smooth and hairless and have no stubble, like none, not one stupid fricking hair "
That's because they don't. Vulvas however... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Woman's vaginas are extremely smooth and hairless and have no stubble, like none, not one stupid fricking hair
That's because they don't. Vulvas however..."
You're baffling me with science, you are. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"You can fuck your teacher for a better grade. "
My female students are all in the upper quartile.
Time spent in the College library, and in tuition, is seldom wasted.
Dr Nasty
Knots College Bristol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Porn can be boring these days that's why I like to shoot normal women usually 40+ with no scripts just real sex & however & whatever they enjoy doing it (as long as its legal) as it adds to the variety of reality porn."
Love your work...Kim and her friends always look like they're having loads of fun. Best reality vids out there.
Would love to be able to get to know you both... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That Germans love to poo all over each other whilst having sex!
("my - he's watched some strange porn hasn't he!") |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
that lotsa ladies like having huge objects up their bums and having their arseholes turned inside out |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That women tend to keep their shoes on. "
 |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"To lick a pussy, in the style of a Labrador licking it's balls. "
Omg that made me laugh |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This thread is the best
That women are perfect little sex machines
No belly rolls
No sweating
No make up dripping down face
Not even one stray pubic hair
Can take anal dry
Dvp and dp is done easy af
No ugly cum faces
Sex in shower looks sexy whereas mine looks like two mating whales .. hair stuck to face .. slipping everywhere trying not to smash shower screen whilst knocking over every bottle of shampoo trying to see ... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread is the best
That women are perfect little sex machines
No belly rolls
No sweating
No make up dripping down face
Not even one stray pubic hair
Can take anal dry
Dvp and dp is done easy af
No ugly cum faces
Sex in shower looks sexy whereas mine looks like two mating whales .. hair stuck to face .. slipping everywhere trying not to smash shower screen whilst knocking over every bottle of shampoo trying to see ..."
Mine are more like the outtakes at the end of rush hour |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nurses would make you feel better by sucking and riding your dick |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *dam1971 OP Man
over a year ago
Bedford |
"This thread is the best
That women are perfect little sex machines
No belly rolls
No sweating
No make up dripping down face
Not even one stray pubic hair
Can take anal dry
Dvp and dp is done easy af
No ugly cum faces
Sex in shower looks sexy whereas mine looks like two mating whales .. hair stuck to face .. slipping everywhere trying not to smash shower screen whilst knocking over every bottle of shampoo trying to see ..."
I'd forgotten about shower sex - in my experience you're so freezing cold out of the water that you can't concentrate on anything. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How three ladies with three double enders can lead to contortionist frivolity.  |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Prisoners get to bang their scantily clad prison guard on their bunk without all the other men shouting out "go on my son, get the keys!" |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That women prefer to fuck their vegetables than eat them... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That women can take multiple cocks in the ass.... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Also that no man is too ugly, and women are always desperate for their cocks |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That you can stick it in without foreplay and there shouldn't be a problem. Also they all love it in the bum too. "
Do we not all love it i the bum no haha ... just me then I suppose LMAO |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Massages always have a "happy" ending |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Baby sitters always end up getting fucked |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That tradesmen actually turn up |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *ve 66Woman
over a year ago
Blackwood |
That we should all have fake eyelashes, tan, boobs, hair piece's not forgetting the extra long nails and 3 inches of make up piled on |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That tradesmen actually turn up"
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You know what this thread is telling us? That the simple fact is, porn isn't unrealistic for some people. Plenty of people love being spanked around in places and in ways that some don't. The ones who say something hurts are the ones who forget that a LOT of people like that in sex. And a lot of girls love being gagged and throat fucked, or pounded until they can't sit down in their ass. There's all kinds of people here and not many people have considered that actually, very few of the things posted are really out of the realm of reality for a lot of people. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Competition for best handle bar moustaches lolx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My cocks tiny |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How to make a woman squirt
(wait til she needs a piss) |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
That the fruit and veg aisle is in fact just all sex toys.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Never to wank with your eyes closed wearing headphones cause you'll find a steaming cup of tea next to you from your mam lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A black duvet cover is not a good idea. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
