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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been on the site for quite a while now, and have had some newbies email us about profiles and getting started, so here are a few things that may help newbies to the site.
Single guys, what they say and what they really mean advice for the ladies and couples:
‘Looking for long term fun’ what it means: Sick of sending email after email out and gettting nothing back, a long term relationship would be good, ill be at your beck and call because I know there are thousands of guys and I hope to be picked.
‘I travel with work and stay in lots of hotels’ what it means: I am married, I have cheated on my wife many times as I work away alot, but am too cheap for an escort.
‘I can only meet daytimes’ what it means: I have a partner, and I hope I can meet others without her knowing about my infidelity.
‘Looking for discreet fun’ what it means: I have a partner, and I hope I can meet others without her knowing about my infidelity.
‘I dont mind if you are married or attached, NSA welcome’ what it means: Im married too.
‘Very open minded, will try anything’ what it means: I will fuck anyone, I will fuck a minger and still be greatful.
‘No pics due to my job’ what it means: I am frightened that another person at work will recognise me and think I am a pathetic loser who can’t get laid.
Single girls, what they say and what they really mean. Advice for the guys:
‘Not into one nighters, or being a notch on a bed post’ what it means: I have tried dating sites and found married/attached guys cheating on their wives, so I figure I would try a sex site to find some one to have a long standing relationship with.
‘Please write this key word in your message, so I know you have read my profile fully’ what it means: I can make you jump through hoops because I am a girl, and there are thousands of men on the site. Also, I have no intention of reading and/or responding to your personalised email if you do not look like Hugh Jackman or Johny depp.
‘no cock shots please’ what it means: All penises look alike, only length varies...I want want Hugh Jackman or Johnny Depp.
‘No one under my age limit, got kids your age’ what it means: I still see my grown children as a 15 year old and am not comfortable with the possibility of them having mulitple sexual partners. Additionally, I am not comfortable with the idea that you may be one of my childs friends.
‘No one liners’ what it means: You can write war and peace and I won’t read it, I want Hugh Jackman or Johnny Depp.
‘No face pic, no reply’ what it means: I want Hugh Jackman or Johnny Depp.
‘No married or attached guys’ what it means: I want a relationship as the dating sites are filled with men whose wives “don’t understand them.” Secondly, if I am horny at midnight I can call on you and you will coming running because you are a single guy and there are thousands of you.
‘No one hundreds of miles away’ what it means: I am not travelling anywhere other than the other side of town, there are thousands of guys on the site.
‘No text speak’ what it means: I have great difficulty elucidating words that have been shortened or using numbers in words...I hated Algebra at school, I do not want want it when looking for a shag, m8....Also, I am over 40 and barely understand how to text, let alone the lingo.
Couples, what they say and what they really mean. Advice for other couples, and singles:
‘No single guys’ what it means: when we play we both want to play, besides Hubby gets the right arse if wife is playing with someone new and he doesn’t get anyone.
‘Late night meets only’ what it means: we will fuck others with our young children in the house, as we can not find anyone to babysit for us.
‘We dont do msn or web cam’ what it means (if they are unverified): I am a single guy pretending to be a couple, and nothing will catch me out faster than being on cam on my own; (if verified) we can not be bothered chatting endlessly, late at night with wanna be couples and singles who will sit and wank, but not actually come round and put there money where there mouth is.
‘Young looking couple in 40’s’ what it means: the wife is gorgeous, the husband is not.
‘No bi or bicurious guys’ what it means: Husband is a homophobe, which is odd because he is quite happy to watch wife with another lady.
‘Member’s of such and such a club’ what it means: we got pissed off with websites, and being in clubs and no one talking to us. So chat to us here, arrange to meet in a club that way we are garunteed a play, after all how hard is it to turn someone down face to face compared to the delete button here?
‘Going dogging later’ what it means: we got REALLY annoyed with how long it takes people to respond here and actually meet so we are off to the woods to meet total strangers.
‘Soft swing only’ what it means: we know we could not cope with watching either of us fuck someone else, so we want to watch others have sex. It’s like porn, but in real 3d.
‘Wife requires bbc’ what it means: We dont believe white men have large cocks, also, husband is hung like an Argos biro and wife is pissed off with it.
‘No timewasters please’ what it means: we want to meet right now, and we dont care if your life doesn’t revolve around swinging, ours does.
‘No pictures due to our jobs’ what it means: we feel that everyone on here cannot be trusted with some pictures of us, what if they use them to bribe us? Or we come across people we know? Or people dont like the look of us? What if... ???? We arn’t paranoid...no!!! we are not...
‘No one under my age limit, got kids your age’ what it means: I still see my grown children as a 15 year old and am not comfortable with the possibility of them having mulitple sexual partners. Additionally, I am not comfortable with the idea that you may be one of my childs friends.
We hope this helps and makes a few of us chuckle. |
And YES we ARE really paranoid 
we had that paranoia when we first started swinging... it lasted 3 long goddam awful hours 
