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Outrageously generous.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've had a few days when I've not been myself. Don't know why but I've just been a bit inward looking.
I woke this morning and thought I'm going to do something unexpected and make someone's day. I know what it will be but waiting till lunch time and I'm going to pay for someones lunch without them knowing.
So... lets all get out there and make someone's day without them knowing.
Look forward to hearing what you plan to do.
Have a fun and creative day...doesn't have to cost money but if it costs us something it makes it even better for us in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a really nice sentiment but choose wisely who you are going to pay for. Some people may not appreciate the gesture in the spirit it is intended (I speak from experience!)
When I try and do little gestures like this I try and get consent first, e.g. if I buy a coffee for a homeless person I'll ask them if they want one first rather than just get them one and assume it's what they want. Some might prefer a cup of tea!
But full marks for the thought behind it - you're obviously a decent fella so good luck with it this afternoon!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed with Dan here. I sometimes go out of my way to help or 'pay it forward'. I've had some uncomfortable responses.
Be careful. Some don't like charity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd love it it some one did something like that for me! I'd probably feel guilty though and donate to charity but then I guess one good deed deserves another. I'm only going the hairdressers today but I'll take in some treats for everyone I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a few days when I've not been myself. Don't know why but I've just been a bit inward looking.
I woke this morning and thought I'm going to do something unexpected and make someone's day. I know what it will be but waiting till lunch time and I'm going to pay for someones lunch without them knowing.
So... lets all get out there and make someone's day without them knowing.
Look forward to hearing what you plan to do.
Have a fun and creative day...doesn't have to cost money but if it costs us something it makes it even better for us in the long run."
Paying it forward. How fantastic and very selfless of you Op. You will have put a smile on a strangers face today for sure. Splendid  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The library in Exeter allows you to buy a 'suspended coffee' so that if someone comes in and needs one you've bought it for them.
You don't know who has had it but you've done a good deed anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The library in Exeter allows you to buy a 'suspended coffee' so that if someone comes in and needs one you've bought it for them.
You don't know who has had it but you've done a good deed anyway"
yes that's lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a café here in Edinburgh that does the same with food and drinks. They also employ homeless people and the profits go to charity. They also make really good food! |
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By *iz78Woman
over a year ago
wirral |
I did this last year. I was in maplin and the card machine was not working. A couple in front of me only had a card so i put told the guy to put it on my bill as i was paying cash.
The couple insisted i give my address so they could pay me back i told them just to pay it forward.
An hour later there was a post on facebook from the couple thanking the kindness of a stranger....
They went on to explain that for the 5 previous years they had collected for the homeless for winter warm clothing,sleeping bags and such but had become disillusioned by peoples lack of charity.
But due to my act of kindness towards them they had decided to carry on with their venture  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a few days when I've not been myself. Don't know why but I've just been a bit inward looking.
I woke this morning and thought I'm going to do something unexpected and make someone's day. I know what it will be but waiting till lunch time and I'm going to pay for someones lunch without them knowing.
So... lets all get out there and make someone's day without them knowing.
Look forward to hearing what you plan to do.
Have a fun and creative day...doesn't have to cost money but if it costs us something it makes it even better for us in the long run."
Some fella asked me for money so he could get home to grab his spRe car keys (new car/wallet&keys locked inside and locksmith would cost him 300£) felt sympathetic and loaned a tenner
The fucker is avoiding me for a week now lol..
Buy some flowers give em out to people lol that small thing does make a difference |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Years ago I put fuel in my car...was struggling financially so put in just £15 and when I went up to pay the cashier said .... its already been paid for.... I was stunned as we're those behind me in the queue. .. left me on a high for weeks.
For those comments above as to...Very careful who you.... my reply is NO. Do it show the love.
We in the west think we can do anything ourselves and feel that we are then belittled if someone helps us.... We can give but few of us know how to recieve graciously and humbly....when we do that we empower the giver and give blessing. ..when we don't we selfishly hold back on the generous one which is a shame. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
If you're worried about the random act of kindness being rejected or misunderstood then drop something in the food bank. Or do the thing I do and pop a fiver through the letterbox of someone you know is struggling and needs a little treat.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Years ago I put fuel in my car...was struggling financially so put in just £15 and when I went up to pay the cashier said .... its already been paid for.... I was stunned as we're those behind me in the queue. .. left me on a high for weeks.
For those comments above as to...Very careful who you.... my reply is NO. Do it show the love.
We in the west think we can do anything ourselves and feel that we are then belittled if someone helps us.... We can give but few of us know how to recieve graciously and humbly....when we do that we empower the giver and give blessing. ..when we don't we selfishly hold back on the generous one which is a shame. "
I hear what you're saying, but to be truthful with you (and I guess this says a lot more about the negative traits of my personality than anything else) I'd be very suspicious if someone random and a total stranger paid for my fuel or a restaurant meal etc I was having up front however noble a gesture it was.
I've had verbals for holding a door open for someone (just general politeness isn't it?) which I know is their problem and not mine. I've also seen (as a third party) the 'I'm not a charity case' scenario when someone was just trying to be helpful.
I can see and accept where you're coming from but I prefer my benefactory acts to be to those that genuinely need it rather than a randomer that might well be pleasantly surprised and it makes their day, but actually might be in a position to not need it.
In your petrol example, whilst actually it helped you as you were struggling at the time, I'm guessing this stranger wouldn't have known that - for all they knew you might have been rich and the person BEHIND you in the queue was in desperate need.
They delighted you and made your day for sure (and good for them!) but actually a significant difference might have been made to had the needy person benefitted.
Anyway I guess it's a case of you call it tomato, I call it tomato and I agree it's nice to make a positive difference to someone's day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It makes me sad to think that all the kind, generous offers that some folk do can be thrown back in their faces.
Have we become that hard nosed as a society that an innocent gesture is looked upon with suspicion and bad grace.
I would be overjoyed if i had popped petrol in my car and then found out it had been paid for. It would probably make my week nevermind my day! And if someone had paid for my lunch? Well i'd be just as overjoyed.
Shopping i'd probably get a bit angsty about because my shopping usually comes to quite a bit, so i'd feel guilty, so can understand the reluctance there.
Holding doors open is common courtesy, why would someone begrudge someone holding a door open for them? It's crazy.
*wanders off muttering about the state of Society as a whole* |
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"Personally I'd just do what I may do and certainly not start a forum thread to get extra self smug satisfaction and reciprocal back patting for my money xxx"
Awww, give him the benefit of the doubt why on't you, you don't know what was in his heart when he posted and it makes you look so bitter!!!
Anyway, I've been doing my bit all morning doing some 'nest building' for a friend....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Years ago I put fuel in my car...was struggling financially so put in just £15 and when I went up to pay the cashier said .... its already been paid for.... I was stunned as we're those behind me in the queue. .. left me on a high for weeks.
For those comments above as to...Very careful who you.... my reply is NO. Do it show the love.
We in the west think we can do anything ourselves and feel that we are then belittled if someone helps us.... We can give but few of us know how to recieve graciously and humbly....when we do that we empower the giver and give blessing. ..when we don't we selfishly hold back on the generous one which is a shame.
I hear what you're saying, but to be truthful with you (and I guess this says a lot more about the negative traits of my personality than anything else) I'd be very suspicious if someone random and a total stranger paid for my fuel or a restaurant meal etc I was having up front however noble a gesture it was.
I've had verbals for holding a door open for someone (just general politeness isn't it?) which I know is their problem and not mine. I've also seen (as a third party) the 'I'm not a charity case' scenario when someone was just trying to be helpful.
I can see and accept where you're coming from but I prefer my benefactory acts to be to those that genuinely need it rather than a randomer that might well be pleasantly surprised and it makes their day, but actually might be in a position to not need it.
In your petrol example, whilst actually it helped you as you were struggling at the time, I'm guessing this stranger wouldn't have known that - for all they knew you might have been rich and the person BEHIND you in the queue was in desperate need.
They delighted you and made your day for sure (and good for them!) but actually a significant difference might have been made to had the needy person benefitted.
Anyway I guess it's a case of you call it tomato, I call it tomato and I agree it's nice to make a positive difference to someone's day! "
I'd say you're very sad if you are over thinking things so much. Do you really stop doing kind acts because you think they might be if fended! !! Nothing would ever get done.
Good job the acts of kindness are not always related to needs... they are just that acts of kindness. .. the rich wealthy person who has almost every needs an act of kindness... He might feel suddenly loved for being a human... wouldn't that be wonderfull... 
Btw...I did mine and the cashier looked at me and her face said...are you for real...lol... I said enjoy their face of surprise when you tell them it's already paid for and have a nice day. Her smile was worth it too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'd say you're very sad if you are over thinking things so much. Do you really stop doing kind acts because you think they might be if fended! !! Nothing would ever get done.
Good job the acts of kindness are not always related to needs... they are just that acts of kindness. .. the rich wealthy person who has almost every needs an act of kindness... He might feel suddenly loved for being a human... wouldn't that be wonderfull...
Btw...I did mine and the cashier looked at me and her face said...are you for real...lol... I said enjoy their face of surprise when you tell them it's already paid for and have a nice day. Her smile was worth it too.
"
I don't overthink it, I would hope that everyday I am civil and considerate of others and do good deeds wherever I can.
In terms of charitable / philanthropic deeds however I target them to those most in need rather than offering a free meal to a randomer in a restaurant. If that makes me "very sad" so be it and it's a grudge I'm prepared to bear!
Like I say, it's great that you do what you do, I'm just outlining what I prefer to do. No right or wrong, no criticism of what you do, just a different way of doing it. You'll recall that my original point was simply to choose who you do it to carefully as I've been witness to ungrateful recipients in the past who may not wish to receive such deeds but I'm a great advocate of what you're doing and applaud you for it!
Good work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I'd just do what I may do and certainly not start a forum thread to get extra self smug satisfaction and reciprocal back patting for my money xxx"
I don't see any self smugness, nor anything negative. I see a beautiful thought from the OP, posters responding positively. And then I see one bitter and twisted post. Only one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I did this last year. I was in maplin and the card machine was not working. A couple in front of me only had a card so i put told the guy to put it on my bill as i was paying cash.
The couple insisted i give my address so they could pay me back i told them just to pay it forward.
An hour later there was a post on facebook from the couple thanking the kindness of a stranger....
They went on to explain that for the 5 previous years they had collected for the homeless for winter warm clothing,sleeping bags and such but had become disillusioned by peoples lack of charity.
But due to my act of kindness towards them they had decided to carry on with their venture "
Awwwww!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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talking about this earlier - so pleased my daughter has grown up caring - she asked a homeless fella what he would like - it was cold so she offered soup sandwich or hot drink - he asked for a bottle of oasis - cos he can keep it on the go - whereas people just turn up with a coffee assuming he wants a hot drink - no good to me in the middle of the night he says - but he was very grateful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're worried about the random act of kindness being rejected or misunderstood then drop something in the food bank. Or do the thing I do and pop a fiver through the letterbox of someone you know is struggling and needs a little treat.
"
That's a good idea |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I'd just do what I may do and certainly not start a forum thread to get extra self smug satisfaction and reciprocal back patting for my money xxx"
?????
You're sad. It was a thread to get people to think about someone else for the day and make someone day. How is anyone here looking extra smug satisfaction and back patting...
It sounds like you need a generous helping of something to loosen you up and see that there are nice things happening out there.
Too much sinister thinking in our society of mistrust and fear of offending someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're worried about the random act of kindness being rejected or misunderstood then drop something in the food bank. Or do the thing I do and pop a fiver through the letterbox of someone you know is struggling and needs a little treat.
That's a good idea "
years ago - in my early 20s i was really struggling - kept it to myself and a temp lady at work one day gave me a bag that contained bread milk eggs etc - i cried and she said she never wanted anything back but to do the same if i ever came across others in the same place - twice over ive been able to do exactly this thing - world isnt all bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"talking about this earlier - so pleased my daughter has grown up caring - she asked a homeless fella what he would like - it was cold so she offered soup sandwich or hot drink - he asked for a bottle of oasis - cos he can keep it on the go - whereas people just turn up with a coffee assuming he wants a hot drink - no good to me in the middle of the night he says - but he was very grateful "
superb! That's fantastic of her.
It's nice to offer a total surprise to someone but maybe another way is to give them what THEY want / need. Both ways work well! Good work! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Years ago I put fuel in my car...was struggling financially so put in just £15 and when I went up to pay the cashier said .... its already been paid for.... I was stunned as we're those behind me in the queue. .. left me on a high for weeks.
For those comments above as to...Very careful who you.... my reply is NO. Do it show the love.
We in the west think we can do anything ourselves and feel that we are then belittled if someone helps us.... We can give but few of us know how to recieve graciously and humbly....when we do that we empower the giver and give blessing. ..when we don't we selfishly hold back on the generous one which is a shame. "
Thats happened to me as someone had gone to pay and given the cashier my pump no and payed it by mistake thfn drove off before it could be rectified.
So the cashier said because ghe other person had paid mine even though it was a mistake it was impossible for her to charge me again for it.
Maybe it was same? that happened to you without you realising? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I'd just do what I may do and certainly not start a forum thread to get extra self smug satisfaction and reciprocal back patting for my money xxx
I don't see any self smugness, nor anything negative. I see a beautiful thought from the OP, posters responding positively. And then I see one bitter and twisted post. Only one "
Hear hear...I accept that it is enough to just do things and they don't have to be monetary things...and you don't need to seek acknowledgement but spreading the concept is lovely. The fact is that most people don't think of doing it . Both my teenage sons see me do little things, thy only see a fraction of it, and I'm pleased to say they now think that way too and seek out opportunities without being noticed. I love the pay it forward schemes...there aren't many in my locale . If you can just take a bag of clothes or DVDs to a charity shop or pay for someone's shopping or meal..or pass on a discount voucher...or spread a friends business site on social media...anything...it's a nice habit. |
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Many years ago, an amazing and inspiring lead Midwife I worked with was really struggling with the utter shite that management expect with no support at all, yet she continued to run the unit to support the women and Midwives in her care.
I saw her grabbing a quick cry in the sluice so I left her a short note about how she is loved and appreciated.
Sometimes, a very small and simple gesture is all that's needed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It makes me sad to think that all the kind, generous offers that some folk do can be thrown back in their faces.
Have we become that hard nosed as a society that an innocent gesture is looked upon with suspicion and bad grace.
I would be overjoyed if i had popped petrol in my car and then found out it had been paid for. It would probably make my week nevermind my day! And if someone had paid for my lunch? Well i'd be just as overjoyed.
Shopping i'd probably get a bit angsty about because my shopping usually comes to quite a bit, so i'd feel guilty, so can understand the reluctance there.
Holding doors open is common courtesy, why would someone begrudge someone holding a door open for them? It's crazy.
*wanders off muttering about the state of Society as a whole*"
This!
It's a lovely gesture, OP. If it's something you want to do, don't think about any negative repercussions as others have discussed. I think the good far outweighs anything else! |
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