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Is it the done thing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was reading another thread and it got me wondering. Is it acceptable to arrange a meet and agree what acts you will do when they turn up, but really have little or no intention of carrying out what you have agreed? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"I was reading another thread and it got me wondering. Is it acceptable to arrange a meet and agree what acts you will do when they turn up, but really have little or no intention of carrying out what you have agreed?"
yes it is wrong... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Not when it means converting your sexuality for the night 
having said that there are some things that I like but don't like doing with everyone,its what feels good on the night and I make that clear,my list of interests is'nt a menu board that you can just pick and choose from
and before anyone points it out,I know I have nothing on my list of interests at the moment |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I am looking for an element of spontaneity in a meet.... but then I would only ever meet socially for a first meet during whcih I have the chance to find out if we are compatible.. So if and when I conisder meeting again for fun I will know that our boundaries... mutually... are respected.. |
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"This is where people need to specify things they will do, its an adult site after all  "
i dont like to specify what i want to do like i have an agenda to the meet, i like to go with the flow
however, if there are specific things that i or the other party want to have happen then i would discuss that with them and decide whether or not they or i am happy with it and make sure we are all in agreement before the day of the meet.
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"I was reading another thread and it got me wondering. Is it acceptable to arrange a meet and agree what acts you will do when they turn up, but really have little or no intention of carrying out what you have agreed?"
Yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is where people need to specify things they will do, its an adult site after all
i dont like to specify what i want to do like i have an agenda to the meet, i like to go with the flow
however, if there are specific things that i or the other party want to have happen then i would discuss that with them and decide whether or not they or i am happy with it and make sure we are all in agreement before the day of the meet.
"
go with the flow and enjoy it.
agreed. |
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"I was reading another thread and it got me wondering. Is it acceptable to arrange a meet and agree what acts you will do when they turn up, but really have little or no intention of carrying out what you have agreed?"
IF you agree to meet and certain things are discussed before hand you should carry on with that agreement. Other wise it may be construed you agreed to anything just to get the meet. |
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Well agreeing to anything before you have met someone is very unwise although some discussion about what you like is. However, I might not want to do everything I like with everyone. Most people feel more relaxed with some rather than others. An agreement to meet and maybe play is not a contract and the number one rule is still no means no whenever it is said. A social meet before hand really helps.
Mistress x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was reading another thread and it got me wondering. Is it acceptable to arrange a meet and agree what acts you will do when they turn up, but really have little or no intention of carrying out what you have agreed?"
dont know i have mixed feeling about this
I would never agree to doing anything if i knew i wasnt going to, but i have met people who have asked me if i will do certain things which ive agreed to, but after meeting them not felt comfy about them or whatever reason and changed my mind
And to be honest i feel i have every rights to do so, wether i meet someone or not if after meeting things arnt as i expected i feel its ok for me to say so and not go thro with sex or certain things, im not just there for their pleasure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it's not acceptable if you agree to meet and do particular acts then you should be prepared to carry them out. If you have no intention of doing them don't agree to it simple.
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what if the guy asks you if you like anal and you do so you say yes but then on meeting find out hes got a 12ich cock im sorry but agreed or not theres no 12inch cock going up my arse |
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"This is where people need to specify things they will do, its an adult site after all
i dont like to specify what i want to do like i have an agenda to the meet, i like to go with the flow
however, if there are specific things that i or the other party want to have happen then i would discuss that with them and decide whether or not they or i am happy with it and make sure we are all in agreement before the day of the meet.
"
+1
i could never imagine ever being so clinical about sex that i had a checklist,and i would not meet anyone who expected one.
For example, i love anal, but sometimes the mind is willing but the flesh does not co operate(even with lube ) So have i let someone down,or have they had unrealistic expectations?
Sex should be uninhibited,that way it is fun., |
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By *eaboMan
over a year ago
marden |
i don't agree with lying to get a meet. I like to see how the evening develops and follow a mutually pleasurable path rather than feeling obliged to doing something i don't feel like doing that evening, or with that person. Spontanious sex is a lot better than scripted sex. |
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We prefer to let people know the things that are definitely out of bounds. After that spontaneity is so much better. We would hope that even mid flow its polite to suggest an act rather than just take. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to also go with the flow as it were, but find things more black and white and pre-planned if meeting with a couple.
I do try to be spontaneous, but for example, some couples like to save penetrative sex just for each other so require me as a 'fluffer' or I need to find out that the female is happy with bi sex and not just doing it to keep her hubby happy, or no kissing with her man is allowed... restrictive I know but I have come across these things and more, so feel with a couple 'ground rules' have to be a bit more exact than with singles, mmf etc. I'm still very happy to meet with couples, just find in my experience it's better to spend time talking before any meets go ahead and avoid any misunderstandings or worse.... tantrums..... later. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was reading another thread and it got me wondering. Is it acceptable to arrange a meet and agree what acts you will do when they turn up, but really have little or no intention of carrying out what you have agreed?
IF you agree to meet and certain things are discussed before hand you should carry on with that agreement. Other wise it may be construed you agreed to anything just to get the meet. "
I agree to certain extent.... seeing the thread concerned, I did feel that instructions were agreed to just to keep a planned meet. It smacks desperation to me.
However, I struggle with the thought that anyone (male or female) should feel they have to do anything... there is a huge difference in having to do something and wanting to do something.... no-one should ever be in a position to say no to something that takes them out of their comfort zone whether it be heat of the moment or preplanned. That's NEVER EVER! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is where people need to specify things they will do, its an adult site after all
i dont like to specify what i want to do like i have an agenda to the meet, i like to go with the flow
however, if there are specific things that i or the other party want to have happen then i would discuss that with them and decide whether or not they or i am happy with it and make sure we are all in agreement before the day of the meet.
"
Agreed. |
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