FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Self esteem
Self esteem
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Fab has raised my self esteem massively. I've always been self conscious of my body shape and weight and never felt that I was particularly attractive. Since being here I have met some really lovely people who genuinely like larger ladies and have chatted with many, many more. If enough people tell you that you are sexy you start to believe it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab has raised my self esteem massively. I've always been self conscious of my body shape and weight and never felt that I was particularly attractive. Since being here I have met some really lovely people who genuinely like larger ladies and have chatted with many, many more. If enough people tell you that you are sexy you start to believe it."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It has zero impact on my self esteem. My self-esteem is only affected when I fuck up big style and I need to rebuild my confidence. Thankfully it doesn't happen too often  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither. I'm fucking awesome and fab neither adds nor detracts from my belief in that. 
Us Americans are known for our self-esteem.  "
Along with destabilising democratic countries for their oil or shoring up evil dictatorships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither. I'm fucking awesome and fab neither adds nor detracts from my belief in that.
Us Americans are known for our self-esteem.
Along with destabilising democratic countries for their oil or shoring up evil dictatorships."
Oh. Was that what this thread was about?  |
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It hasn't made much difference both of us have always had good levels of self esteem.
Although this and another site we used to belong to did make me realise that contrary to what the media and advertising industry would have us believe men don't always go for younger women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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raised it in that the way i am is normal. it's actually been nice to learn a fair bit of stuff from here.
looks wise, meh. i'm slightly above average still and that hasn't been raised or lowered. think my body is doing great seeing as it's carried 5 kids to term though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's raised mine in terms of confidence level in feeling sexy or desired but I struggle to believe I'm beautiful.
I've made some new friends and my social life is better which is great for my overall wellbeing.
Had one bad experience so far on fab but others have stepped in to heal that hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd like to say 'no impact at all' but I don't think that's right.
Maybe self esteem is the wrong phrase - I think it has boosted my confidence. I'm so bloody average it's unreal but it has definitely been a boost to have been fortunate enough to meet a number of women who I probably would never have thought would be in the slightest bit interested. So that's been a revelation and nice.
On the flip side I do sometimes look at the other guys they've met, the ripped, fit, hung types and that can cause a bit of internal angst. You know that whole 'god they're going to be SO disappointed when they see me' thing |
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"Fab has raised my self esteem massively. I've always been self conscious of my body shape and weight and never felt that I was particularly attractive. Since being here I have met some really lovely people who genuinely like larger ladies and have chatted with many, many more. If enough people tell you that you are sexy you start to believe it."
Shows how we're all different: it's the cynic in me. I wouldn't hold much stock to anything anyone said on here to me as I'd just see it as trying to get into my knickers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont quiet understand why he would mess you about.
On saying that it seems to me that people have 'all the chat' when online but when it comes down to a meet....well its a different story"
Hey I know you're replying to Mona in this instance but a quick tip, use the 'reply +quote' button so people know what you're replying to good luck fella! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though. "
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont quiet understand why he would mess you about.
On saying that it seems to me that people have 'all the chat' when online but when it comes down to a meet....well its a different story"
Oh i had met him a few times but then he let me down and wasted my precious time on more than one occasion in recent weeks.
But I've also found guys who say they want to meet and after a few days of chatting I accept their friend request but never get any further to Actually arranging a meet. They are busy with work or social arrangements. Think they just want to perv private pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Neither. I'm fucking awesome and fab neither adds nor detracts from my belief in that.
Us Americans are known for our self-esteem. "
I'm fucking awsome too though I think I hide it well... lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that "
Nutella is a good answer to many of life's questions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though. "
This. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
Nutella is a good answer to many of life's questions. "
And petite filous too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that "
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has fab raised it or lowered it for you?
Lowered it?
It's killed my self esteem off.
What makes you stay on here? Or do you only chat on the forums?"
Truthfully. The forums are the only thing that keeps me here. There are a mix of fun people on here. So regardless of if your meeting or not, you can always chat. Swinging is a social thing. At least on the forum it feels social.
I couldn't tell you the last time I sent a message to somebody that's not on the forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you "
What, cheesy?
(*joking!! ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has fab raised it or lowered it for you?
Lowered it?
It's killed my self esteem off.
What makes you stay on here? Or do you only chat on the forums?
Truthfully. The forums are the only thing that keeps me here. There are a mix of fun people on here. So regardless of if your meeting or not, you can always chat. Swinging is a social thing. At least on the forum it feels social.
I couldn't tell you the last time I sent a message to somebody that's not on the forum. "
At least you're honest with your profile and great photos
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
What, cheesy?
(*joking!! )"
No comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you "
Was it like uncontrollable urge for sex ? If yes, that's normal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
Was it like uncontrollable urge for sex ? If yes, that's normal "
Well it *was* a very good cheesecake  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
Was it like uncontrollable urge for sex ? If yes, that's normal
Well it *was* a very good cheesecake "
Is it the good moment to say that I dreamt about you last night ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
Was it like uncontrollable urge for sex ? If yes, that's normal
Well it *was* a very good cheesecake
Is it the good moment to say that I dreamt about you last night ?"
Was I eating cheesecake? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
Was it like uncontrollable urge for sex ? If yes, that's normal
Well it *was* a very good cheesecake
Is it the good moment to say that I dreamt about you last night ?
Was I eating cheesecake? "
No, you were eating a french stick spreaded with Nutella (no pun intended)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
Was it like uncontrollable urge for sex ? If yes, that's normal
Well it *was* a very good cheesecake
Is it the good moment to say that I dreamt about you last night ?
Was I eating cheesecake?
No, you were eating a french stick spreaded with Nutella (no pun intended)
"
This isn't about that anal thread, is it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
Was it like uncontrollable urge for sex ? If yes, that's normal
Well it *was* a very good cheesecake
Is it the good moment to say that I dreamt about you last night ?
Was I eating cheesecake?
No, you were eating a french stick spreaded with Nutella (no pun intended)
This isn't about that anal thread, is it? "
Haha nope, but let me check that thread out, I am curious now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not affected my self-esteem but it has made me realise that the majority of people aren't bothered if your body isn't perfect.
To me, people are more accepting in the swinging world and it's most certainly made me reevaluate how I see myself... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has fab raised it or lowered it for you?
Lowered it?
It's killed my self esteem off.
What makes you stay on here? Or do you only chat on the forums?
Truthfully. The forums are the only thing that keeps me here. There are a mix of fun people on here. So regardless of if your meeting or not, you can always chat. Swinging is a social thing. At least on the forum it feels social.
I couldn't tell you the last time I sent a message to somebody that's not on the forum.
At least you're honest with your profile and great photos
"
Ooh. Let me clarify.
There's a little truth here in my post.
My self esteem is managed by myself. Fab website won't lower it or raise it.
So my 'killed it' response was tongue in cheek.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you "
Oh God, was it the Nigella one?
So good! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab itself Has had little impact in all honesty, however I did meet the Mr through fab and he has improved my self esteem because he makes me feel beautiful. |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though. "
I relate to this |
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By *iver2015Woman
over a year ago
middlesbrough |
It's questioned it. People compliment me on here who I know would not be seen in public with me and when I say no their opinion of me and how I look changes, making me believe that must be the true _iew because they're no longer trying to get something. |
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"It's questioned it. People compliment me on here who I know would not be seen in public with me and when I say no their opinion of me and how I look changes, making me believe that must be the true _iew because they're no longer trying to get something. "
Self esteem springs from knowing your own worth in the face of what other people say about you.
If a 23 year old contacts us saying I'm the best looking woman on here I "know" it's BS. If after a polite no thanks from us he replies that I'm an old hag I know that's BS too. I don't question myself because I know that I pass muster and I know I'm not either of the things that have been said.
What I'm saying is the operative word in the phrase self esteem "self". |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
Where would you like me? |
No, not really. If anything fab has made me more realistic of my self. It has helped me realise that everyone has different likes and there really is someone for everyone in terms of sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab has raised our self esteem on a purely carnal level . We have had over a thousand meets in the 5 years since we began swinging and using fab . If someone had told us back at the beginning that so many people would want to get jiggy with us we wouldn't have believed them . So I guess we figure we must have something worthwhile to offer , and that certainly makes us feel good about ourselves . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My self esteem was fine before fab, it'll remain that way.
I'm realistic and I realise that people like and want different things, if I'm not that then it's ok...if I am then that's ok too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, not really it has perhaps given me a cause for thought in certain respects, namely that I'm not as hideous as once thought. I've never particularly liked the way I look, so I never based my confidence in it.
But I do have confidence in my intelligence, my empathy, and that at my core I'm a good person. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Hmm. My self esteem has always been firmly based on who I am rather than what I look like. Fab comments (positive or negative) tend to be about the latter so my sense of self hasn't really changed as a result of being on here. Apart from those times when what I say seems to be invisible - I get a few seconds of butthurt then but it quickly passes. |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"Fab has raised my self esteem massively. I've always been self conscious of my body shape and weight and never felt that I was particularly attractive. Since being here I have met some really lovely people who genuinely like larger ladies and have chatted with many, many more. If enough people tell you that you are sexy you start to believe it."
On here men will say anything for a shag |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes Fab raises my self esteem, other times it whips the rug of self esteem from under my feet and I crash. Lots of other real life things do that too though.
Same here, fortunately a Nutella jar can partly fix that
I had a Nutella cheesecake yesterday and it reminded me of you
Oh God, was it the Nigella one?
So good!"
Not sure, someone else made it, but it was bloody lovely |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I have lots of self esteem. I am what I am and there ain't nothing I can do to change that. I don't want to change either. Some people find me odd, others don't. I think I'm hysterically funny, others don't. Am I attractive? Well some might think I am but others don't. As long as I am confident in my abilities and my outlook then it don't matter really does it? I am the best at being me. No one does it better.
As an aside and not wishing to be rude (but I will be) as long as the people I love have faith in me then why would I allow 'strangers' on the interweb to influence me and my self esteem? |
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"I have lots of self esteem. I am what I am and there ain't nothing I can do to change that. I don't want to change either. Some people find me odd, others don't. I think I'm hysterically funny, others don't. Am I attractive? Well some might think I am but others don't. As long as I am confident in my abilities and my outlook then it don't matter really does it? I am the best at being me. No one does it better.
As an aside and not wishing to be rude (but I will be) as long as the people I love have faith in me then why would I allow 'strangers' on the interweb to influence me and my self esteem? "
I agree with you. Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't join this site to improve my selfesteem and certainly don't post for that reason but I do take pleasure in knowing that in the 8 years I've been here pretty much every poster I've ever respected has expressed a similar respect towards me. I've had my share of abuse both on the forum and by PM and it's generally from people who I feel are so inconsequential if anything it provides affirmation rather than anniyance |
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"I have lots of self esteem. I am what I am and there ain't nothing I can do to change that. I don't want to change either. Some people find me odd, others don't. I think I'm hysterically funny, others don't. Am I attractive? Well some might think I am but others don't. As long as I am confident in my abilities and my outlook then it don't matter really does it? I am the best at being me. No one does it better.
As an aside and not wishing to be rude (but I will be) as long as the people I love have faith in me then why would I allow 'strangers' on the interweb to influence me and my self esteem? "
Bestie I fucking love you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have lots of self esteem. I am what I am and there ain't nothing I can do to change that. I don't want to change either. Some people find me odd, others don't. I think I'm hysterically funny, others don't. Am I attractive? Well some might think I am but others don't. As long as I am confident in my abilities and my outlook then it don't matter really does it? I am the best at being me. No one does it better.
As an aside and not wishing to be rude (but I will be) as long as the people I love have faith in me then why would I allow 'strangers' on the interweb to influence me and my self esteem? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm. My self esteem has always been firmly based on who I am rather than what I look like. Fab comments (positive or negative) tend to be about the latter so my sense of self hasn't really changed as a result of being on here. Apart from those times when what I say seems to be invisible - I get a few seconds of butthurt then but it quickly passes."
That's the thing with us - our self esteem may take the occasional knock and we wobble, but it pings back.
Similar to what Highheels said, my wife and I can be riding high but something can suddenly knock us down but we get back up again. It's rare that fab is the reason.
But we don't get knocked about our looks - we're gorgeous in each other's eyes, and we know we're not everyone's cup of tea, so it's no sweat.
But we've always been oddballs, marching to our own beat. Over recent years we've embraced that, but our return to fab hasn't been smooth - and it's hard not to feel like the odd ones out again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't been here long enough for Fab to have any bearing on anything, but I can't see my self esteem being affected.
I've always been happy with who I am as a person and don't worry too much about the opinion of others on that front.
When I split up with my ex, and first tried Internet dating, I can say that my self confidence took quite a hammering though!
I'd never had any great difficulty getting girlfriends when I was younger, so always thought I was reasonably attractive. Apparently I'm not haha! When it comes down to relying on a photo to attract a woman, I'm doomed! 
Clearly, I have to rely on my winning personality...   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab hasn't raised or lowered my self esteem. It has opened my eyes to all the competition and opportunities out there and also made me realise how many nice, smart, peeps enjoy swinging |
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I would say that Fab initially played a part in helping to raise my self-esteem. And that has been useful. It doesn't help me on Fab in any way but I've found out in the real world an increase in confidence in myself has been of great use.
I guess you could say that Fab kickstarted my boost in self-esteem, which was very low at the time I joined. Fab doesn't do anything for me in that regard now though.
I've begun to see my true self-worth and how that helps me in everyday life. It's very much a snowball effect. Confidence and respect in yourself only helps to breed even more positive feelings. Fab doesn't play any part in that now. I keep Fab at arms length now to avoid it having a negative impact on my life, which it has done in the past. |
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