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Some thoughts on what some dads would you.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My 28 yr old daughter has had a turbulent relationship with her dad. (My ex) since she was 18 and came home pregnant he threw her out the house.she has not chosen the best of partners for herself.she has 3 boys 1 with asd and adhd.we think 3 yr old also has adhd.she is a good mum and try her best.she has recently had another fall out with her dad..lack of support.and he has not been to see her today.or bought his grandchildren any presents.would any other dad's behave like this? She told him few weeks ago she didn't want to see him again.like she has with me dozens of times but I don't take any notice..appreciate a dad's thought. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"maybe he thought it best to stay away incase he spoiled the day
can you not ask him"
I'm sick of telling him.he could have left them with other daughter.its hurt me he taken it out on the boys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If she's telling you both that she doesn't want to see you again... perhaps you should find out why she's telling you that and perhaps try and rectify it?
At the end of the day, nobody on this forum knows you, your ex, or your daughter, so there's not really much anyone can say.
Sounds like a bit of an arsehole though if he reacted poorly to her getting pregnant. I wouldn't want someone in my life who wasn't supportive, and I wouldn't want them buying presents for my kids. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend not to get involved in other peoples drama. I have no idea about the things leading up to this situation and would be surprised if anyone else has."
not a drama just asking if other dad's would behave like this.thats all.
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By *ephistoCouple
over a year ago
torrance |
I'm not in this same situation. Perhaps some words were said that hurt him and he sees this as the same difficulties he's had with her in the past. Perhaps some space will heal whatever's going on. On the other hand, I don't think I could be so angry with my kids as to stay away from or not contact them. Plus, the grand kids aren't involved in their disagreement. It's not fair to them. Just my two cents. |
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Yes. Many families behave this way. Not just dads either.
Your daughter is 28. A grown woman. An adult.
She told her father she didn't want to see him.
She got what she asked for.
What is he feeling right now ? Does she care ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If she's telling you both that she doesn't want to see you again... perhaps you should find out why she's telling you that and perhaps try and rectify it?
At the end of the day, nobody on this forum knows you, your ex, or your daughter, so there's not really much anyone can say.
Sounds like a bit of an arsehole though if he reacted poorly to her getting pregnant. I wouldn't want someone in my life who wasn't supportive, and I wouldn't want them buying presents for my kids."
thanks not asking for peeps to get involved.just like you said an arsehole hun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A dads job is to be there for his kids through every shit decision. yes he might of stayed away to keep the peace but he could of offered to visit, stating that if he didn't hear back he'd stay away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he threw is own daughter out when she was pregnant then it's hardly a surprise he couldn't be fucked to buy the grandkids presents this year. Sounds like a bit of a cunt to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stay away from your daughter if that's what she wants, but still sort the kids out - with prezzies, days out, fun & love.
Poor mites have done nothing to deserve childish spite from either their Mum or their Gramps x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My 28 yr old daughter has had a turbulent relationship with her dad. (My ex) since she was 18 and came home pregnant he threw her out the house.she has not chosen the best of partners for herself.she has 3 boys 1 with asd and adhd.we think 3 yr old also has adhd.she is a good mum and try her best.she has recently had another fall out with her dad..lack of support.and he has not been to see her today.or bought his grandchildren any presents.would any other dad's behave like this? She told him few weeks ago she didn't want to see him again.like she has with me dozens of times but I don't take any notice..appreciate a dad's thought."
It seems absent fathers can be as bad as absent mothers. Absent parents who can't be bothered with their kids make me sad. |
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P.S.
The fact that you 'take no notice' when she treats you like rubbish means you are an enabler.
You accept that from her. Maybe you dish out the same treatment. I don't know.
Seems to me that you all seem more worried about the lack of presents rather than relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stay away from your daughter if that's what she wants, but still sort the kids out - with prezzies, days out, fun & love.
Poor mites have done nothing to deserve childish spite from either their Mum or their Gramps x
"
With respect - if the mother thinks it's a poor idea for their grandparent to see them, then perhaps her wishes should be respected.
If he threw her out because she got pregnant, he doesn't really deserve to see them IMO. He didn't want them to exist. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not in this same situation. Perhaps some words were said that hurt him and he sees this as the same difficulties he's had with her in the past. Perhaps some space will heal whatever's going on. On the other hand, I don't think I could be so angry with my kids as to stay away from or not contact them. Plus, the grand kids aren't involved in their disagreement. It's not fair to them. Just my two cents."
thank you.she hits out with her mouth.she does with me.but she still mine.and god she needs someone.
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"A dads job is to be there for his kids through every shit decision. yes he might of stayed away to keep the peace but he could of offered to visit, stating that if he didn't hear back he'd stay away. "
Or he could just stay away cos he was asked to - like he did.
Do you really think a dad has to be their for their kids through every shit decision ?
Really ?
Think it through now...... she's 28. What about when she's 38, 48, 68 ?
Everyone is assuming she's a joy of a daughter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he threw is own daughter out when she was pregnant then it's hardly a surprise he couldn't be fucked to buy the grandkids presents this year. Sounds like a bit of a cunt to me"
i totaly agree with this quote  |
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"If he threw is own daughter out when she was pregnant then it's hardly a surprise he couldn't be fucked to buy the grandkids presents this year. Sounds like a bit of a cunt to mei totaly agree with this quote "
'if' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes. Many families behave this way. Not just dads either.
Your daughter is 28. A grown woman. An adult.
She told her father she didn't want to see him.
She got what she asked for.
What is he feeling right now ? Does she care ?"
he probably pissed like he always has been.she doesn't care about her.its the grandchildren that have suffered |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stay away from your daughter if that's what she wants, but still sort the kids out - with prezzies, days out, fun & love.
Poor mites have done nothing to deserve childish spite from either their Mum or their Gramps x
With respect - if the mother thinks it's a poor idea for their grandparent to see them, then perhaps her wishes should be respected.
If he threw her out because she got pregnant, he doesn't really deserve to see them IMO. He didn't want them to exist."
Take it out on the kids then
And, with respect, reading between the lines, I suspect their may be more than one 'problem' here
Kids deserve better from both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A dads job is to be there for his kids through every shit decision. yes he might of stayed away to keep the peace but he could of offered to visit, stating that if he didn't hear back he'd stay away. "
xx at last a dad with commonsense.x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If he threw is own daughter out when she was pregnant then it's hardly a surprise he couldn't be fucked to buy the grandkids presents this year. Sounds like a bit of a cunt to me"
xx That's when I left the 22yr marriage hun x
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"Yes. Many families behave this way. Not just dads either.
Your daughter is 28. A grown woman. An adult.
She told her father she didn't want to see him.
She got what she asked for.
What is he feeling right now ? Does she care ?he probably pissed like he always has been.she doesn't care about her.its the grandchildren that have suffered"
How did the children suffer ?
Sorry - this sounds like excusing the failings of the rest of the family by blaming the absent grandfather.
There are millions of HAPPY children all over the country/world that didn't get a pressie from their grandparents but are perfectly happy because the rest of the family are stable, loving, non accusative and don't involve the children in the problems caused by adults.
How do the children even know about what is going on ? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stay away from your daughter if that's what she wants, but still sort the kids out - with prezzies, days out, fun & love.
Poor mites have done nothing to deserve childish spite from either their Mum or their Gramps x
"
he has never really bothered once a fortnight for 20 min he sees them.chucks money at them.x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes. Many families behave this way. Not just dads either.
Your daughter is 28. A grown woman. An adult.
She told her father she didn't want to see him.
She got what she asked for.
What is he feeling right now ? Does she care ?he probably pissed like he always has been.she doesn't care about her.its the grandchildren that have suffered
How did the children suffer ?
Sorry - this sounds like excusing the failings of the rest of the family by blaming the absent grandfather.
There are millions of HAPPY children all over the country/world that didn't get a pressie from their grandparents but are perfectly happy because the rest of the family are stable, loving, non accusative and don't involve the children in the problems caused by adults.
How do the children even know about what is going on ? "
don't you dare blame the rest of the family.she has a loving family.grandparents.me.what ever she done she still his daughter.keep your comments to yourself.as I was asking dad's not granny crumpets |
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"Yes. Many families behave this way. Not just dads either.
Your daughter is 28. A grown woman. An adult.
She told her father she didn't want to see him.
She got what she asked for.
What is he feeling right now ? Does she care ?he probably pissed like he always has been.she doesn't care about her.its the grandchildren that have suffered
How did the children suffer ?
Sorry - this sounds like excusing the failings of the rest of the family by blaming the absent grandfather.
There are millions of HAPPY children all over the country/world that didn't get a pressie from their grandparents but are perfectly happy because the rest of the family are stable, loving, non accusative and don't involve the children in the problems caused by adults.
How do the children even know about what is going on ? don't you dare blame the rest of the family.she has a loving family.grandparents.me.what ever she done she still his daughter.keep your comments to yourself.as I was asking dad's not granny crumpets"
Apples never fall far from the tree.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her."
she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
If you're looking for reasoned responses given we don't know the full facts .. you'll likely be disappointed, if you're looking for folk to agree with your judgement you're likely to receive some support, others will disagree with you.
My 2p... I'm a dad to two girls, I as a parent make my kids Christmas as special as I canI don't rely on my kids grandparents to do that.  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her.she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her."
you may be enabling her |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"don't you dare blame the rest of the family.she has a loving family.grandparents.me.what ever she done she still his daughter.keep your comments to yourself.as I was asking dad's not granny crumpets"
The dads on here will tell you what you want to hear. |
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"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her.she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her.
you may be enabling her"
Excuse me ? Are you a dad ? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her.she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her.
you may be enabling her
Excuse me ? Are you a dad ?"
No  |
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"don't you dare blame the rest of the family.she has a loving family.grandparents.me.what ever she done she still his daughter.keep your comments to yourself.as I was asking dad's not granny crumpets
The dads on here will tell you what you want to hear."
Oh now...that's mean to logical, stable, randy, erect, ........ oh.... |
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"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her.she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her.
you may be enabling her
Excuse me ? Are you a dad ?
No "
Sniff... I rest my drink m'lud! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. Many families behave this way. Not just dads either.
Your daughter is 28. A grown woman. An adult.
She told her father she didn't want to see him.
She got what she asked for.
What is he feeling right now ? Does she care ?he probably pissed like he always has been.she doesn't care about her.its the grandchildren that have suffered
How did the children suffer ?
Sorry - this sounds like excusing the failings of the rest of the family by blaming the absent grandfather.
There are millions of HAPPY children all over the country/world that didn't get a pressie from their grandparents but are perfectly happy because the rest of the family are stable, loving, non accusative and don't involve the children in the problems caused by adults.
How do the children even know about what is going on ? don't you dare blame the rest of the family.she has a loving family.grandparents.me.what ever she done she still his daughter.keep your comments to yourself.as I was asking dad's not granny crumpets"
Says you, one sided story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah 100%. from the sound of it he may have been a nob head from day one and he is just reaping what he has sown.
maybe you are right, i don't know, but a world where i am not there for my kids is inconceivable to me.
my parents have stood by me through some terrible decisions. not in an enabling way but in a way that allowed me to sort my shit out when i needed to make a U-turn, and they go great satisfaction in saying "i told you so" (which was rightly earned)
of they hadn't then who knows where things would have ended up...Jeremy Kyle?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A dads job is to be there for his kids through every shit decision. yes he might of stayed away to keep the peace but he could of offered to visit, stating that if he didn't hear back he'd stay away.
Or he could just stay away cos he was asked to - like he did.
Do you really think a dad has to be their for their kids through every shit decision ?
Really ?
Think it through now...... she's 28. What about when she's 38, 48, 68 ?
Everyone is assuming she's a joy of a daughter. "
she's not an angel but she's our flesh and blood.she never asks for anything.she just wanted him to knock the door say I don't want to see you iv come to see my grandsons.they have been in the window all day asking were he is? |
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"yeah 100%. from the sound of it he may have been a nob head from day one and he is just reaping what he has sown.
maybe you are right, i don't know, but a world where i am not there for my kids is inconceivable to me.
my parents have stood by me through some terrible decisions. not in an enabling way but in a way that allowed me to sort my shit out when i needed to make a U-turn, and they go great satisfaction in saying "i told you so" (which was rightly earned)
of they hadn't then who knows where things would have ended up...Jeremy Kyle?
"
I get that Mr. Greybeard. I stick by mine too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her.she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her."
Well yes, you can.
I threw my mother out of my life for my own health and sanity, and it was exactly the right decision.
Giving birth to someone doesn't mean you *must* be in their life. |
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"A dads job is to be there for his kids through every shit decision. yes he might of stayed away to keep the peace but he could of offered to visit, stating that if he didn't hear back he'd stay away.
Or he could just stay away cos he was asked to - like he did.
Do you really think a dad has to be their for their kids through every shit decision ?
Really ?
Think it through now...... she's 28. What about when she's 38, 48, 68 ?
Everyone is assuming she's a joy of a daughter. she's not an angel but she's our flesh and blood.she never asks for anything.she just wanted him to knock the door say I don't want to see you iv come to see my grandsons.they have been in the window all day asking were he is?"
Did she call him to ask him round for the kids sake ? |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"A dads job is to be there for his kids through every shit decision. yes he might of stayed away to keep the peace but he could of offered to visit, stating that if he didn't hear back he'd stay away.
Or he could just stay away cos he was asked to - like he did.
Do you really think a dad has to be their for their kids through every shit decision ?
Really ?
Think it through now...... she's 28. What about when she's 38, 48, 68 ?
Everyone is assuming she's a joy of a daughter. she's not an angel but she's our flesh and blood.she never asks for anything.she just wanted him to knock the door say I don't want to see you iv come to see my grandsons.they have been in the window all day asking were he is?"
he has never really bothered once a fortnight for 20 min he sees them.chucks money at them.x
If he's never really bothered why would the kids be looking out of the window they wouldn't be expecting him..??.
Me thinks ££££'s and this is why the kids were in the window..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her.she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her.
Well yes, you can.
I threw my mother out of my life for my own health and sanity, and it was exactly the right decision.
Giving birth to someone doesn't mean you *must* be in their life."
she is a good girl.just makes wrong decisions.we get on really well.i tell her were she going wrong yes she says blah blah.but then says mum your always right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"she made lousy choices
she has made her bed and it's tough
she is abusive to both her parents numerous times
she is a grown adult and you still go back for more
he has chosen not to.
his choice.
your's is to take it from her.she my daughter.i won't turn my back on her.i gave birth to her."
There are times when no matter what the relationship , sometimes you have to walk away for your own sanity and theirs...
No idea if in this case its what happened but it would be impossible for people to judge based on the little and very one sided information we have here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My dad walked out when I was 9
No cards or haven seen him since.
Then the cheeky fucker sends me a face book friends invite.
He was never a dad.
"
My ex walked out when my daughter was 16 months old. Similar lack of interest ever since. My daughter saw her in the summer and it fell into a row with my ex shouting ' I don't give a fuck' as she flounced off.
Mothers can be shit too.
Just saying for the sake of balance folks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My 28 yr old daughter has had a turbulent relationship with her dad. (My ex) since she was 18 and came home pregnant he threw her out the house.she has not chosen the best of partners for herself.she has 3 boys 1 with asd and adhd.we think 3 yr old also has adhd.she is a good mum and try her best.she has recently had another fall out with her dad..lack of support.and he has not been to see her today.or bought his grandchildren any presents.would any other dad's behave like this? She told him few weeks ago she didn't want to see him again.like she has with me dozens of times but I don't take any notice..appreciate a dad's thought."
Not for the first time she told him that she didn't want to see him, and she got what she asked for. People need to be careful what they wish for. Maybe he'd had enough of having that thrown at him repeatedly.
I'm not condoning him, but your daughter isn't innocent in this either. And if she is repeatedly telling you both that she doesn't want to see you maybe you and her father might be better off finding out the source of that anger rather than trying to blame your ex? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My 28 yr old daughter has had a turbulent relationship with her dad. (My ex) since she was 18 and came home pregnant he threw her out the house.she has not chosen the best of partners for herself.she has 3 boys 1 with asd and adhd.we think 3 yr old also has adhd.she is a good mum and try her best.she has recently had another fall out with her dad..lack of support.and he has not been to see her today.or bought his grandchildren any presents.would any other dad's behave like this? She told him few weeks ago she didn't want to see him again.like she has with me dozens of times but I don't take any notice..appreciate a dad's thought.
Not for the first time she told him that she didn't want to see him, and she got what she asked for. People need to be careful what they wish for. Maybe he'd had enough of having that thrown at him repeatedly.
I'm not condoning him, but your daughter isn't innocent in this either. And if she is repeatedly telling you both that she doesn't want to see you maybe you and her father might be better off finding out the source of that anger rather than trying to blame your ex?"
her anger comes from him throwing her out of our home 9 yr ago when she got pregnant.and he told her he only had one daughter.she forgave him and his words |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A dads job is to be there for his kids through every shit decision. yes he might of stayed away to keep the peace but he could of offered to visit, stating that if he didn't hear back he'd stay away.
Or he could just stay away cos he was asked to - like he did.
Do you really think a dad has to be their for their kids through every shit decision ?
Really ?
Think it through now...... she's 28. What about when she's 38, 48, 68 ?
Everyone is assuming she's a joy of a daughter. she's not an angel but she's our flesh and blood.she never asks for anything.she just wanted him to knock the door say I don't want to see you iv come to see my grandsons.they have been in the window all day asking were he is?
he has never really bothered once a fortnight for 20 min he sees them.chucks money at them.x
If he's never really bothered why would the kids be looking out of the window they wouldn't be expecting him..??.
Me thinks ££££'s and this is why the kids were in the window.. "
no they actually love him even tho its not very often he sees them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My 28 yr old daughter has had a turbulent relationship with her dad. (My ex) since she was 18 and came home pregnant he threw her out the house.she has not chosen the best of partners for herself.she has 3 boys 1 with asd and adhd.we think 3 yr old also has adhd.she is a good mum and try her best.she has recently had another fall out with her dad..lack of support.and he has not been to see her today.or bought his grandchildren any presents.would any other dad's behave like this? She told him few weeks ago she didn't want to see him again.like she has with me dozens of times but I don't take any notice..appreciate a dad's thought.
Not for the first time she told him that she didn't want to see him, and she got what she asked for. People need to be careful what they wish for. Maybe he'd had enough of having that thrown at him repeatedly.
I'm not condoning him, but your daughter isn't innocent in this either. And if she is repeatedly telling you both that she doesn't want to see you maybe you and her father might be better off finding out the source of that anger rather than trying to blame your ex?her anger comes from him throwing her out of our home 9 yr ago when she got pregnant.and he told her he only had one daughter.she forgave him and his words"
Is that why she also says it to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it's his way of coping as he may find it difficult to deal with himself. I had a dad that was hard work in so many words.....many battles in our house. But sitting down as a family and sorting out any issues can help and their are people out there that can help with family problems |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. Many families behave this way. Not just dads either.
Your daughter is 28. A grown woman. An adult.
She told her father she didn't want to see him.
She got what she asked for.
What is he feeling right now ? Does she care ?he probably pissed like he always has been.she doesn't care about her.its the grandchildren that have suffered
How did the children suffer ?
Sorry - this sounds like excusing the failings of the rest of the family by blaming the absent grandfather.
There are millions of HAPPY children all over the country/world that didn't get a pressie from their grandparents but are perfectly happy because the rest of the family are stable, loving, non accusative and don't involve the children in the problems caused by adults.
How do the children even know about what is going on ? don't you dare blame the rest of the family.she has a loving family.grandparents.me.what ever she done she still his daughter.keep your comments to yourself.as I was asking dad's not granny crumpets
Apples never fall far from the tree.
"
Oy Crumpet!
I think you got the nail right on the wotsit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The dads on here will tell you what you want to hear."
This dad won't.
1, gifts of material things are not love, support or respect.
2, 28 year olds are adults, 28 year old mothers should no longer throw temper tantrums they don't mean, so if your daughter says stay away, she either means it, or needs to grow up fast.
3, Parents that never allow their offspring to suffer some minor consequences of their actions are not good parents.
As a single father for more than half the childhood of my children (assuming adult at 18) I was always aware that you only lease your children, my parental job was to make them whole independent adults by a reasonable age, adding responsibility a bit at a time as they grew into it.
Other than those thoughts, I have no idea of the right or wrong of the situation you posted about, we only have your interpretation of a situation you are only half aware of, as you are only getting half the story yourself.
Happy Christmas |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"The dads on here will tell you what you want to hear.
This dad won't.
1, gifts of material things are not love, support or respect.
2, 28 year olds are adults, 28 year old mothers should no longer throw temper tantrums they don't mean, so if your daughter says stay away, she either means it, or needs to grow up fast.
3, Parents that never allow their offspring to suffer some minor consequences of their actions are not good parents.
As a single father for more than half the childhood of my children (assuming adult at 18) I was always aware that you only lease your children, my parental job was to make them whole independent adults by a reasonable age, adding responsibility a bit at a time as they grew into it.
Other than those thoughts, I have no idea of the right or wrong of the situation you posted about, we only have your interpretation of a situation you are only half aware of, as you are only getting half the story yourself.
Happy Christmas "
Very good post |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Some people also need to understand that even though they are your children there is only so much you can do or take! Otherwise you will end up like my mother having to deal with a fucked up Xmas as usual, trying but failing to placate my psychotic sister because she has been let off with certain behaviours over the years! And ruins everything as per usual and is also the reason why I stay away and do my own thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a father of 4 daughters I'll say this. There is some good advice in here and some bad twisted advice and responses. This is not the place for such matters. Though I understand your pain and frustrations you are on a place where you will find it hard to get objective advice. Reconciliation needs to be achieved by all parties including yourself and grand kids. This can only happen when you lay aside your rights and look to the others. It needs to be done with a councellor in privacy and will take time. Here you're in danger of hanging out your washing. My experience is everyone has part to blame and what we will always get on forums is one side and only one chapter of the story. I wish you well in your efforts and hopefully it works out well soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My 28 yr old daughter has had a turbulent relationship with her dad. (My ex) since she was 18 and came home pregnant he threw her out the house.she has not chosen the best of partners for herself.she has 3 boys 1 with asd and adhd.we think 3 yr old also has adhd.she is a good mum and try her best.she has recently had another fall out with her dad..lack of support.and he has not been to see her today.or bought his grandchildren any presents.would any other dad's behave like this? She told him few weeks ago she didn't want to see him again.like she has with me dozens of times but I don't take any notice..appreciate a dad's thought."
In fairness, your daughter is 28 and an adult, she has from the sounds of it refused to grow up and take responsibility for herself and her decisions, her father's patience with her abuse of both herself and him has run out. We don't have the full details and there are three sides to every story - his, hers, and the truth which lies somewhere in the middle
So be it. When a loved one expects you to be an enabler, you choose to play along or not. We all have our limits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Families are too complicated I've not seen or been in touch in my sister. Or bought her anything...
Its been a great peaceful Christmas so I don't feel guilty at all |
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"My 28 yr old daughter has had a turbulent relationship with her dad. (My ex) since she was 18 and came home pregnant he threw her out the house.she has not chosen the best of partners for herself.she has 3 boys 1 with asd and adhd.we think 3 yr old also has adhd.she is a good mum and try her best.she has recently had another fall out with her dad..lack of support.and he has not been to see her today.or bought his grandchildren any presents.would any other dad's behave like this? She told him few weeks ago she didn't want to see him again.like she has with me dozens of times but I don't take any notice..appreciate a dad's thought."
I would like to think had I an 18 year old daughter that I would be her shield regardless of the choices she makes,this person would be my flesh and blood and would have no doubt brought me great joy and many tears in her 18 years,so a dad in my opinion should be her constant comfort blanket and her refuge when she needs shelter. |
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