FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > do I keep fighting or give up
do I keep fighting or give up
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on whether you are a masochist or not. Wake up sweetie, 2 years! fraid you have to face up to the fact you cannot always get what you want. If someone does not want you or just annoys dangling on a string, you cant change that. |
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"Thats a good question I really dont no ...... But if this was one off my friend then I would say walk away they have had there chance "
Then there's your answer.
Doesn't matter how many times our friends tell us what's best. Until you see it for yourself then you'll keep doing what you're doing.
You're stronger than that and you'll come out the other side better for it.
Good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
If you haven't won after 2 yrs your unlikely to.
What you have to ask your self is "is it worth the time and effort." If it is carry on but if not just ignore and move on. I always think assholes are just not worth giving attention to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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But love is a bitch and im finding it really hard to no what to do ...... I no that sounds stupid but thats whats making me carry on but my head and gut saying walk away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ALWAYS listen to your gut feeling. Rarely wrong. Get some respect for yourself. Maybe that would make you more attractive to him? you never know. Most people rarely want what is offered on a plate, there is no challenge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The fact that you've come as far as asking yourself the question should tell you what to do. I don't think you're really asking us to tell you - you already know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
Don't let go.....throw him as far as you can, dust your hands off kick up your heels and skip away....without a backwards glance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
If you haven't won after 2 yrs your unlikely to.
What you have to ask your self is "is it worth the time and effort." If it is carry on but if not just ignore and move on. I always think assholes are just not worth giving attention to."
How do you know he's an asshole?!! Is this from the same school of thought if someone doesn't want you it's their loss?!! 
OP, you shouldn't have to fight: this isn't a Cheryl Cole song! Sorry to be harsh but you sound pathetic! You're "fighting" for the love of someone who's lied to you and obviously not treated you well in two years.
Instead of looking for the self respect you've lost you're asking strangers on a swinging site what to do!
Keep banging you're head against the wall, you obviously like it!  |
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By *imal75Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Hi Hornybitch, You should get shot of him! You can do better and if you ever need a chat pm me anytime.
Loves a hard thing I know.... But time is a great healer... Don't let him mess you around anymore and you can do better.... everyones Input on this forum is Valid and you should take note of it... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
I think you have answered your own question....
if you have been lied and let down so many times it shows what they think of you.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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from someone who has been there, don't waste any more time on it, you have missed out on 2 years of your life, which you will never get back.
I know it is hard, but you have to move on, there are people on here who will support you in any way you need till you feel confident enough in yourself.
I wish you luck and the happyness you deserve |
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
I think you have answered your own question....
if you have been lied and let down so many times it shows what they think of you...."
yup ahll agree with this whole heartedly
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
why would you fight for someone? if they wanated to be with you they would be with you, if you have to fight for them then id say give up, after 2 years they obviously dont want to be with you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
Does this guy want what you want? Did you meet him on this scene? Does he know your on here? Is he just after NSA?
I've never really understood this 'fighting for someone' business. If they want what you want there's no fight, if they don't you can become a 'bunny boiler' in their eyes (no offence). I don't wish to sound harsh but like with so many threads we only have your side of the story. Bottom line, it's sad your feeling so frustrated, if the positives outweigh the negatives carry on. If not, you know what to do. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
Walk away, go get pampering treatments, night out with the girls, and leave em behind , if they dont want to be with you, whats the point?
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
Don't let go.....throw him as far as you can, dust your hands off kick up your heels and skip away....without a backwards glance."
id hate to fall out with u lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
Been there, done that, its so not worth it.. and when you get out and realise how much better off you are without them, you feel silly for a bit..
But.. hopefully you will get into the position I was in not so long ago.. To tell them "NO, I dont want you"... as I had moved on so far that I couldnt even work out what I saw in them.
Without having the full facts we cant really advise, but two years is a long time..
Having been there.. saying no and meaning it was the best thing I ever did.. And I now have the best relationship I could ever have. And I realise now that when love really hits you that you can not miss it..
Dont mistake lust and need and not wanting to be alone for love.
katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To late to comment"
all comments welcome ......i wouldnt fight to keep anyone in my life who obviously didnt want to be there ????? dont waste precious energy...keep it for the good things in life ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
Don't let go.....throw him as far as you can, dust your hands off kick up your heels and skip away....without a backwards glance.
id hate to fall out with u lol xx"
I was with my husband for 20 years and had no compunction doing the same when I found out he was cheating on me, I took a lot of abuse from him but that was the final insult. I've never seen him from the day I told him to leave, never will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
Don't let go.....throw him as far as you can, dust your hands off kick up your heels and skip away....without a backwards glance.
id hate to fall out with u lol xx
I was with my husband for 20 years and had no compunction doing the same when I found out he was cheating on me, I took a lot of abuse from him but that was the final insult. I've never seen him from the day I told him to leave, never will."
i did the same ..after 35 years ........but im so glad he was cheating its allowed me to have a new life .. |
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i know how you feel and what your going tru,believe me walking is the best thing you can and should do,,
love is a strange thing,brings you to both ends of pleasure in the blink of an eye,it hurts to walk away,and it hurts to stay,walking will hurt hard,but not for as long as you think it will,staying hurts in growing stages,till one day you wake up and realise,its turned to hate and resentment,
so walk and embrace the hurt for all tyour worth,and learn from it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
Does this guy want what you want? Did you meet him on this scene? Does he know your on here? Is he just after NSA?
I've never really understood this 'fighting for someone' business. If they want what you want there's no fight, if they don't you can become a 'bunny boiler' in their eyes (no offence). I don't wish to sound harsh but like with so many threads we only have your side of the story. Bottom line, it's sad your feeling so frustrated, if the positives outweigh the negatives carry on. If not, you know what to do. "
no didnt meet him on here there is alot more to it really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very hard to comment as theres very little information really, but your post alludes to a needy,emotionally entangled relationship...
I think a emotionally mature person would question why you`ve chose to stay with someone for 2 yrs...sounds codependent to me...a sign of low self worth and self respect.....you hardly seem compatible...
You probally know the answer inside yourself,but lack the strength of character to walk away from the relationship..
Ah...I`m assuming alot
Be true to what lies deep inside, face the pain....look at yourself and not the other person and take a break!!
I hope you resolve your dilemma, and find the right person for yourself...
Good Luck..x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
Give up and move on i would say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
Give up and move on i would say."
im guessing maybe the guy isnt fully available?? ditch him.... if he hasnt left his wife by now he isnt going too..i have a friend who has been waiting 20 years .....he is the ultimate timewaster !!! |
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"Stick with it.... you have managed to stick with it for 2 years so why give up now.
By the way... I sell a nice range in 'Sucker For Life' t-shirts if you are interested."
I'll take a medium please. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love" makes you act irrationally at times, someone can treat you really badly and you still convince yourself you'd be great together...
Give up, they're obviously not interested - as you said, if it was a friend you'd tell them to walk away (sometimes easier said than done).
Shoe on the other foot, declaring a lack of interest spurs some people on...which is massively annoying. |
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
People who ask questions similar to yours:
Usually don’t need to be told to walk away, because the fact you think it is an option says it all.
Don’t give out the full details, because they don’t want to admit to others what they have already done or allowed to happen in a blind hope that it will all come good.
Haven’t already walked away because they are desperate (yes I said it – desperate) for the person to come good and love them back.
Are in love with a fantasy of what it could be like, IF ONLY it was different… but it’s not reality is it.
Have not been fighting to keep something they have, they’ve been fighting for something that does not exist.
Are looking for a way to make the person who is the focus of their affections change and want them just as much, rather than actually needing advice.
My question is…. Why would anyone want life advice from a bunch of total strangers who don’t know ANY of the details?
My suggestion is.... go away and start being honest with yourself. Once you've learnt to be honest with yourself you'll find you get a few more honest answers.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
Give up and move on i would say.
im guessing maybe the guy isnt fully available?? ditch him.... if he hasnt left his wife by now he isnt going too..i have a friend who has been waiting 20 years .....he is the ultimate timewaster !!!"
Who's fault is that, the guy or your friend? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thanks for all your messages alot made load off sence some just sooo wrong ..... few facts yes his married .. we have lived together before reason he left there was lots but didnt leave because we wasnt workin out ..... i dont meet up with him for sex so its not offered on a plate ..... i have lots off self respect and im soooo not pathetic and im not a bunny boiler and will never turn into one ...... yes i put this post up but it dont mean im any off the above ...... like i said there is alot more to it but its to personal to put on here .... all i wanted was someone eles _iew and advice and i have got it now so thank u all very much ..... will let u all no what i do  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
Why i never posted i read this and felt you was telling us everything and its hard to say when you dont know the in s and outs xx just be true to yourself and that should work and DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY X.Life far to short to put up with things that are not right x jo
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S
Give up and move on i would say.
im guessing maybe the guy isnt fully available?? ditch him.... if he hasnt left his wife by now he isnt going too..i have a friend who has been waiting 20 years .....he is the ultimate timewaster !!!
Who's fault is that, the guy or your friend? "
OF COURSE ITS HER fault ...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I read between the lines correctly here and see children involved in it somewhere - his children - then you are on a rocky road to Lonesomeville.
I hope I'm wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"there is no hmmmmmmmms about it sweet 
Oh there is... it's my hmmmmm and I shall hmmmmm all I like as I ponder the contrast in the two statements."
lol well u carry on then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I read between the lines correctly here and see children involved in it somewhere - his children - then you are on a rocky road to Lonesomeville.
I hope I'm wrong."
oh soooo wrong lol |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Been fighting for someone for the last 2 years been lied to and let down soooo many times ...... Do I let go or keep fighting :-S "
'lied to and let down so many times..'
scoop up your dignity, tell him to take a hike... and move on alone.
someone who will respect you & treat you better may be just round the next corner ..
good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I read between the lines correctly here and see children involved in it somewhere - his children - then you are on a rocky road to Lonesomeville.
I hope I'm wrong.
oh soooo wrong lol "
Oh well, something pulled him away from you and you've been fighting it ever since. Maybe you just don't like being beaten lol |
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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago
east cheshire |
"If I read between the lines correctly here and see children involved in it somewhere - his children - then you are on a rocky road to Lonesomeville.
I hope I'm wrong.
oh soooo wrong lol
Oh well, something pulled him away from you and you've been fighting it ever since. Maybe you just don't like being beaten lol "
A nice spanking would be acceptable tho
Im not going to give any advise because it will fall on deaf ears |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Northants |
"few facts yes his married "
Sooooo.... You are helping a man to cheat on his wife? Well... Out of the door goes any sympathy I may have had for you! Slaking your own lust at the expense of the other, presumably unsuspecting party... Lower than low!
Even if she is not a nice person or she never lets him have sex, you should stay out of it until he has decided to leave and actually does. No wonder it has been going on two fookin years! Does "Cake and eat it" ring any bells???  |
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In the words of our Chezza'....
Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh
..... makes you realise what a load of bollox that song is don't it. |
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"In the words of our Chezza'....
Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh
..... makes you realise what a load of bollox that song is don't it."
Coz wa worth it hinny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the words of our Chezza'....
Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh
..... makes you realise what a load of bollox that song is don't it."
Well she sure didn't set her stall out by it did she. Make a few quillions of quid with it too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the words of our Chezza'....
Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for oh-oh-oh
..... makes you realise what a load of bollox that song is don't it."
lolol you do come out with some good ones here x lol never liked that song alot now have it in my head , lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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only you know what you really want and it does sound that you are mixed up.
put yourself first for once. be good to yourself and make a decision which ends your personal hell.
take care xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Life is a bitch.
Do what you feel is the right thing to do and live with the consequences.
Only you can decide what is right or wrong.
Sometimes, it is best to say enough is enough and break away.
However, there are times when something is worth the hassle to hold on to.
Only you can decide whether enough is enough, or it is something so dear it is worth holding on to.
Good luck, whatever you have decided. |
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