FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > not feeling welcome
not feeling welcome
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
a misleading title i no, but this is about Ella moving in with me, she feels that my landlady hasn't made her feel welcome and i thought it was just her being paranoid.
However while we where out yesterday my landlady asked her surname by text and told me she "accidentely" torn up some mail for ella from her bank and thrown it in the bin. Then she got all umpty that I hadn't said anything about Ella getting mail at "her" address
We now have the feeling that the landlady is just putting up with us for the excessice rent i am paying.
Thoughts anyone?
Grai (watching for coffin activity)
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would look for somewhere else to live,i would be fumming if someone torn up my mail,especially something as important as bank statements.
Would make me wonder if it was an accident about the mail and make me think she was prying,being nosey. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
did you tell her Ella was moving in?? if so why is it such a shock that she would be getting mail there??
something a bit odd going on there - maybe the land lady has a thing for you and is jealous  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
she did say she thought it was junk mail, but why did she ask after destroying it? and yes she knows Ella lives here- she put my rent up by more than 50% to cover extra costs!
No she doesn't have a thing for me, as her fella is staying here at the moment, not sure if he has moved in or is just on holiday. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"she did say she thought it was junk mail, but why did she ask after destroying it? and yes she knows Ella lives here- she put my rent up by more than 50% to cover extra costs!
No she doesn't have a thing for me, as her fella is staying here at the moment, not sure if he has moved in or is just on holiday. "
extra costs??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Firstly, i would inform her that what she has done is a criminal offence. Doesnt take much working out that a new female has moved into the house and she has mail not addressed to her. She should of asked first.
Secondly find somewhere else to live immediatly. Most places let from 1st of the month so you could be out there within two weeks. Oh and only give her a weeks notice. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
the issue with moving out is that i get a very low wage and getting enough money together for a months rent and deposit is going to take some time.
moving out is definately something we are going to do, Ella feels so unwelcome some days she doesn't leave the room at all except to go to the loo
The mail is just for me the final straw.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
can all 3 of you not sit down and have a chat. she surely must see how happy you both are.
she maybe miffed over the tenancy agreement she signed with you.
hope it all works out for all parties x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
tenancy agreement? stupid i no but we never did one of those, i do think she is a bit pissed offf with ella moving in but she was happy to take the extra money.
I guess i just need to wait for a few months and get some money together for a new place this is just a room i rented anyway, not really big enough for 2.
thanks for the advice people it was I expected to hear but its nice to get confimation
I dont suppose anybody knows of anywhere near streatham to rent for next to nothing? lol
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you'd only meet problems if you took any of the advice offered.
Most advice seems to take your side without considering any relationship or agreement between your landlady and yourself.
You call her a landlady. Is she that?
Do you rent a flat or other building from her? Or are you in - what we used to commonly call - 'digs'? i.e you are sleeping in one of her bedrooms IN her house where she lives - her home?
Regardless of where you live - did you draw up a tenancy agreement WITH her?
Do you know what HER rights and YOUR responsibilities are ?
Did you ask if you could move a friend in?
It is NOT unreasonable for her to expect EXTRA money to cover electricity , gas , water and other extras that extra residents use.
Does she charge you RENT? You say rent but does she only charge you living expenses or does she actually charge you rent?
The mail would pee me off too but it doesn't seem like you have kept her informed of events and names so that she can act properly.
If she did do it on purpose - why would she then have the decency to ask you what your girls name is ? Maybe she realised the possibilities afterwards.
Too many people will give you advice that sides with what you say without knowing any facts. You will only end up in shit creek if you don't consider your responsibilities.
Doesn't sound to me like you have done anything illegal.
If she is not declaring income from you though it may be that she has.
The best advice you have been given here is to sit down and talk to her. As she is the roof over your head at the moment it wouldn't do to go making enemies.
Sit down. Talk ammicably. In the mean time find out how to protect yourself in this situation. Use the net for info for tenants. Tenant does have a specific meaning though. Sounds to me like you are bunking up in her house which isn't really a tenancy and more the position of a lodger. So find out lodgers rights and get a bloody rent book. If she is not declaring income she might want you to move anyhow if you ask for a rent book but fair is fair.
Hope this helps xx
Much love xx Gran xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"WHAT ???
ATTENTION .......... TWO ROOMS TO RENT.
Strike that ...... FOUR
God im gonna be rich !! "
Actually, thinking about it some more.
What if i was to rent one of your rooms, and then look for extremely local meets. With whom i could accomodate and make them feel really at home?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"WHAT ???
ATTENTION .......... TWO ROOMS TO RENT.
Strike that ...... FOUR
God im gonna be rich !!
Actually, thinking about it some more.
What if i was to rent one of your rooms, and then look for extremely local meets. With whom i could accomodate and make them feel really at home?
"
That idea seems perfectly acceptable to me Mush.
You may move in. I will not be providing a rent book and I will not be taxed on the first tenth of the weekly rent - according to you  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I believe it depends how you approached your landlady in the first place about your partner moving in with you.
Was it discussed in length, as in the full implications mapped out for her, or just a casual, my partner is moving in, and I shall pay you this much more in rent, hope that is ok with you.
If it is the latter, then I can appreciate why she is behaving the way she does, as the situation has been jammed down her throat, and she feels she did not have a say in the matter.
If she is an old-fashioned lady, then she may be taken aback by having a couple living in her property, unmarried, and doing "it" etc...
Best course of action IMHO, if for the OP to sit down and discuss with the landlady about the issues ASAP to prevent any further deterioation in their relationship.
Otherwise, start looking for alternative accommodation!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
If it's an area only really suitable for one person, then she's coining it in by increasing rent for the two of you.
Therefore she *should* be happy for you both to stay, and should therefore be more accommodating.
It's worth trying to find an option (even if it's digs elsewhere, ie not a "step up") so that *when* you sit and talk to her, you have some leverage.
But if she's not willing to be welcoming to paying customers...well, if Starbucks staff were rude.....?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
no idea how it works where you are, however ask the council...where i am there is a system called a 'key fund'
This is basically..if you are NOT homeless but want to move and cannot afford the deposit etc...the council act as a sort of guarantor for the deposit etc.
Anyways..ask about and see if anything similar exists where you are.
On a side note...perhaps the landlady is miffed as she has her sights set on you to keep her warm on the forthcoming cold nights....
vol
xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"no idea how it works where you are, however ask the council...where i am there is a system called a 'key fund'
This is basically..if you are NOT homeless but want to move and cannot afford the deposit etc...the council act as a sort of guarantor for the deposit etc.
Anyways..ask about and see if anything similar exists where you are.
On a side note...perhaps the landlady is miffed as she has her sights set on you to keep her warm on the forthcoming cold nights....
vol
xx"
thamks for that suggestion i will enquire in the week, as for hoping for me to keep her warm i made it quite clear i would of liked that when i was single lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Question is: Did she destroy it, or read it first.
I'd move out if I were you, especially if you're paying exhorbitant rent. Surely there's another place you could rent that's charging the market rate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"she did say she thought it was junk mail, but why did she ask after destroying it? and yes she knows Ella lives here- she put my rent up by more than 50% to cover extra costs!
No she doesn't have a thing for me, as her fella is staying here at the moment, not sure if he has moved in or is just on holiday. "
I'm assuming there's no kids living with her. And I'd bet that she isn't disclosing the money you pay her either. I'd also bet she's claiming the 25% discount for a single person living alone on her council tax.
And now you, your g/f and HER b/f are living there. She's increased your rent by 50% and is probably getting cash off her b/f too. She's coining it in, robbing the state and robbing you at the same time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Problem solved.
Ella felt so unwelcome she broke up with me and moved out...
"
oh dear sorry to hear that mate but....if you broke up so easily then maybe it wasnt the right relationship to be in, IMHO |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Problem solved.
Ella felt so unwelcome she broke up with me and moved out...
oh dear sorry to hear that mate but....if you broke up so easily then maybe it wasnt the right relationship to be in, IMHO"
Do you do hospital visiting sweetie ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Problem solved.
Ella felt so unwelcome she broke up with me and moved out...
oh dear sorry to hear that mate but....if you broke up so easily then maybe it wasnt the right relationship to be in, IMHO
Do you do hospital visiting sweetie ?"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
/wisdom.
