 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is 'kitten' a euphemism for nottsmale, or is it a real kitten?
 "
PMSL!!!!!!.....nah this is a real one....kittens supposed to eat and sleep....well...this one eats....runs round like a loony......gets in all the nook and crannies...shreds the sofa...runs round some more....bites my toes.....then eats....runs round like a loony...... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"it will fall asleep befor long....then you will worry its dead "
fukker has been running round since 5am.......the enjoyment starting to wear off now....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago
east cheshire |
LOL it will settle and then just flake out. I had 4 last year and they drove me demented!! Just used to leave them to it, fall asleep on the sofa and wake up to a big ginger purring pile lying on top of me...4 pooped kittens  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i had one of those..it used to creep off to one of my neighbours houses, get stoned, come home, chill, eat and eat and eat then go nuts for hours at a time. move away...it will never find you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"sounds like my ex.....xx
you had to move to lose him?? 
nah all the stuff before lol!! he wasnt difficult to lose .... xx "
had an image of him coming home to an empty house..everything gone. that woulda fucked him up...though sometimes an empty fridge is enough to screw a guy up! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is 'kitten' a euphemism for nottsmale, or is it a real kitten?
PMSL!!!!!!.....nah this is a real one....kittens supposed to eat and sleep....well...this one eats....runs round like a loony......gets in all the nook and crannies...shreds the sofa...runs round some more....bites my toes.....then eats....runs round like a loony......"
Declaw it, pull its teeth out then drug it. Or by a cuddly toy next time, it's much the same thing but without the shit on the other side of the door that you drag across the carpet when you open it unknowingly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
how to give a cat medication:
Pick the cat up and cradle in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into it, allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind the sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner in from garden. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from the foil wrap. Make note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered 'Dolton' figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pills not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply plaster to partners forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbours shed and get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon and flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road and apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid the cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed and pry cat's mouth open with a small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour a pint of water down throat to wash down pill.
Get partner to drive you to the Emergency Room and sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat. Ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
