FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Selling Themselves
Selling Themselves
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been thinking whenever to post this for the last week or so.
Since i have been off work (ill) i have noticed mainly in the chat-rooms that some women and a few couples too
Will offer a Bj for a lift somewhere
Will expect gifts for a meet
IN the time i have been swinging on and off a few years, i have never expected a lift or gifts
if i meet with someone i will get to the location at my own accord and i would never let a meet pay for drinks or dinner or anything like that
Since this is being noticed now in the chatrooms, there are alot of single men and couples who think this is the done thing when meeting single women 
it groads me
I am independent and if i cant afford to meet i wont simple. i just wish that single women and some couples "whoring themselves" would learn some self respect
sorry moan over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some women see it as a way of well im doing them a favour they should get me something, iv never had it myself - yes my profile says il meet for a coffee/smoothie but id buy it my self cause I get there earlier. its just greed really. If it works for them then fair does |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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never noticed this, tbh, although as said above, dont spend time in the chatrooms.
however, IF we were lucky enough to meet a single woman, as a gentleman (yes, there are some around) and we were meeting for a drink, i would be buying the drinks, at least to start with, as thats the 'done' thing, to me.
even if i were having a drink with someone i knew years, i would buy at the very least the first drink, so im sorry you feel this way about things, but im not going to change because you seem to think its about selling yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a social meet the other week that the woman arranged and although it didn't bother me I was expected to pay for the drinks, yet a had another social the night before and the woman insisted on going halves! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met someone recently who was insistent he brought wine - this was a social meet in a pub firstly but he brought two bottles and gave them to us even though no play occurred.
He said it is the normal thing for single guys to do. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
been going on for years and it will continue: there are people who will pay to fit in, get invites and get to clubs etc etc.
as long as people are prepared to pay: the takers will flourish
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"never noticed this, tbh, although as said above, dont spend time in the chatrooms.
however, IF we were lucky enough to meet a single woman, as a gentleman (yes, there are some around) and we were meeting for a drink, i would be buying the drinks, at least to start with, as thats the 'done' thing, to me.
even if i were having a drink with someone i knew years, i would buy at the very least the first drink, so im sorry you feel this way about things, but im not going to change because you seem to think its about selling yourself."
I agree, a gentleman should always at least buy the first drinks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to be honest and say, i haven't found that to be the case. the people I have meet have been respectful and not shown any expectations of remittance,gifts or lifts. I will look out for it in the future and report back. P.S. its not a moan or rant if its a valid point.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"never noticed this, tbh, although as said above, dont spend time in the chatrooms.
however, IF we were lucky enough to meet a single woman, as a gentleman (yes, there are some around) and we were meeting for a drink, i would be buying the drinks, at least to start with, as thats the 'done' thing, to me.
even if i were having a drink with someone i knew years, i would buy at the very least the first drink, so im sorry you feel this way about things, but im not going to change because you seem to think its about selling yourself.
I agree, a gentleman should always at least buy the first drinks "
actually, i wil lgo further to say that, when we meet couples for a drink, i usually get the first round in, as we are usually there early and have our drinks, then offer them drinks when they come in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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dont see whats wrong with it, does it make you a better person to be giving it away for nothing. i like it when a man brings me something and think its a nice thought, not that i expect anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"never noticed this, tbh, although as said above, dont spend time in the chatrooms.
however, IF we were lucky enough to meet a single woman, as a gentleman (yes, there are some around) and we were meeting for a drink, i would be buying the drinks, at least to start with, as thats the 'done' thing, to me.
even if i were having a drink with someone i knew years, i would buy at the very least the first drink, so im sorry you feel this way about things, but im not going to change because you seem to think its about selling yourself.
I agree, a gentleman should always at least buy the first drinks
actually, i wil lgo further to say that, when we meet couples for a drink, i usually get the first round in, as we are usually there early and have our drinks, then offer them drinks when they come in"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This might be cultural as well. The UK is the only place where "rounds" are the norm so you get this odd"it's your round" sort of thing so when one person buys all the drinks it looks odd. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree OP, scavenging buggers that do this.
Single guys shouldn't have to buy women or couples anything. I am not referring to buying drinks, as we all do this as a courtesy thing. I always treat meets as I do friends, I buy drinks, so do they, but meals are paid for separately.
I don't agree with taking lingerie or sex toys either.
And it's ridiculous to suggest that people are 'giving it away' free. Swinging is not prostitution, it's a mutual enjoyable activity between all parties.
In my opinion swinging is an enjoyable pastime and hobby and not something to make a profit out of. If you want sex toys and lingerie buy them yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I agree OP, scavenging buggers that do this.
Single guys shouldn't have to buy women or couples anything. I am not referring to buying drinks, as we all do this as a courtesy thing. I always treat meets as I do friends, I buy drinks, so do they, but meals are paid for separately.
I don't agree with taking lingerie or sex toys either.
And it's ridiculous to suggest that people are 'giving it away' free. Swinging is not prostitution, it's a mutual enjoyable activity between all parties.
In my opinion swinging is an enjoyable pastime and hobby and not something to make a profit out of. If you want sex toys and lingerie buy them yourself. "
Thanks iconic1
u get what im saying completely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree OP, scavenging buggers that do this.
Single guys shouldn't have to buy women or couples anything. I am not referring to buying drinks, as we all do this as a courtesy thing. I always treat meets as I do friends, I buy drinks, so do they, but meals are paid for separately.
I don't agree with taking lingerie or sex toys either.
And it's ridiculous to suggest that people are 'giving it away' free. Swinging is not prostitution, it's a mutual enjoyable activity between all parties.
In my opinion swinging is an enjoyable pastime and hobby and not something to make a profit out of. If you want sex toys and lingerie buy them yourself.
Thanks iconic1
u get what im saying completely "
well, we must be missing a trick, cuz its cost me a small fortune to buy V all her sexy outfits and toys.
if we had known we could just get single guys to buy them for her we would have started ages ago lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm too mean to even buy MYSELF a drink never mind anyone else. I take a thermos flask with me n if food is suggested I whip out me Tupperware wiv the egg sandwich n banana - I never get caught out - |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"I agree OP, scavenging buggers that do this.
Single guys shouldn't have to buy women or couples anything. I am not referring to buying drinks, as we all do this as a courtesy thing. I always treat meets as I do friends, I buy drinks, so do they, but meals are paid for separately.
I don't agree with taking lingerie or sex toys either.
And it's ridiculous to suggest that people are 'giving it away' free. Swinging is not prostitution, it's a mutual enjoyable activity between all parties.
In my opinion swinging is an enjoyable pastime and hobby and not something to make a profit out of. If you want sex toys and lingerie buy them yourself. "
I agree with what you are saying here. However I think the perception of the site from a large group of members is now completely different to when the site was first founded. A lot of the newbies coming in see it purely as a sex site. You can also see this from the "why haven't I had a meet yet" threads in the forum.
The member base seems to be growing pretty quick, a lot of it probably word of mouth between lads down the pub.
If there is now say circa 50,000 members (guesstimate) how many of those are 'swingers' in the true sense, and how many are looking for a quick shag? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We know that some single guys can be complete dicks but they also put up with some crap don't they.
"
this is why ive posted it as when i saw it i cringed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
In my opinion swinging is an enjoyable pastime and hobby and not something to make a profit out of. If you want sex toys and lingerie buy them yourself. "
if you cant afford sex toys or underwear yourself dont buy it simple |
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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago
Bridgwater - Somerset |
There was a thread back along about single guys paying for hotel rooms, I've also seen profiles where one of the hoops to jump through was to arrive with a bottle of spirits.
Fair enough to arrive with your own favourite tipple, but come on, it's using people, not swinging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know that some single guys can be complete dicks but they also put up with some crap don't they.
"
hay not all single guys read my verfications and there are a lot of couples and single ladies out there who give swinging a bad name rant over |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of people see sex as a commodity,
most can offer sex, and it doesn't cost them anything, so exchanging sex for something you need , like a lift, some ironing, gardening, is the same as bartering.
no money needs to change hands,
An hour of your time, for an hour of my time.
Its not as if love, commitment or feelings are being used, just a bodily function. |
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"dont see whats wrong with it, does it make you a better person to be giving it away for nothing. i like it when a man brings me something and think its a nice thought, not that i expect anything."
When it's offered by the guy it's naive gesture when it's demanded by the woman it something very different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have seen many share a hotel room and only the guy pay then people buy you drinks of food how far do you read into it? Sometimes its just a gesture sometimes more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not actually seen it.. I've seen a few people ask for lifts to clubs etc..but to be honest that's mutually beneficial.
I've seen profiles that ask.. however if I were to meet for a social I would expect the guy to at least offer to buy the first drink.. I have actually refused to meet again on just those grounds... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sometimes a man brings me a bottle of wine or buys me a meal.
i suppose if someone is good looking they are more likely to know they can get something in exchange for sex so they ask and if the man doesnt like it, he can always say no cant he.  |
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My fb often drives me if we go to a couple meet, or I drive him occasionally. We have brought wine for each other and shared costs on other occasions. I also pay my way when going for coffee/drink/meal, but if a man insists on paying, as has happened, I will demure. I don't see this as "whoring" myself out at all. Indeed, if I were to meet someone again, I would be happy to pay for him and me if we went for something to eat, or got food in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not seen it in the chat rooms but was chatting to one person not going to say who about meeting up and after three or four days of chatting they agreed to meet me if I paid them £100 for sex...... safe to say there was no way I was paying |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"I agree OP, scavenging buggers that do this.
Single guys shouldn't have to buy women or couples anything. I am not referring to buying drinks, as we all do this as a courtesy thing. I always treat meets as I do friends, I buy drinks, so do they, but meals are paid for separately.
I don't agree with taking lingerie or sex toys either.
And it's ridiculous to suggest that people are 'giving it away' free. Swinging is not prostitution, it's a mutual enjoyable activity between all parties.
In my opinion swinging is an enjoyable pastime and hobby and not something to make a profit out of. If you want sex toys and lingerie buy them yourself. "
My _iew too |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Lots of people see sex as a commodity,
most can offer sex, and it doesn't cost them anything, so exchanging sex for something you need , like a lift, some ironing, gardening, is the same as bartering.
no money needs to change hands,
An hour of your time, for an hour of my time.
Its not as if love, commitment or feelings are being used, just a bodily function."
Shouldn't sex be mutually beneficial? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not seen it in the chat rooms but was chatting to one person not going to say who about meeting up and after three or four days of chatting they agreed to meet me if I paid them £100 for sex...... safe to say there was no way I was paying "
do you think she was pulling your leg. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've not seen it in the chat rooms but was chatting to one person not going to say who about meeting up and after three or four days of chatting they agreed to meet me if I paid them £100 for sex...... safe to say there was no way I was paying
do you think she was pulling your leg. "
No she was quite off with me saying that she really liked me too and then defriended me lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it's a difference between manners and being cheeky.
We always take a bottle or two when we meet but to be told do this for that is something else entirely no matter how you dress it up its prostitution |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My fb often drives me if we go to a couple meet, or I drive him occasionally. We have brought wine for each other and shared costs on other occasions. I also pay my way when going for coffee/drink/meal, but if a man insists on paying, as has happened, I will demure. I don't see this as "whoring" myself out at all. Indeed, if I were to meet someone again, I would be happy to pay for him and me if we went for something to eat, or got food in. "
not on abot fbs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The question here is the manner of the way these "gifts" are asked for.
When I meet a single or a couple then I will take a small gift of wine or chocolates even flowers on one occasion. I always buy the drinks, but nearly all the time they insist on sharing. This to me is the same as I would do if meeting friends and after all I am seeing friends, just met them under different circumstances.
If these "friends" were to ask for gifts BEFORE they even would meet me then I would not be there.
Simples
 |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I have once and only once been asked if I wanted 'a social meet' to buy me some lingerie! And to be honest, I think he meant it in a very naïve but nice way!
Of course I refused and told him not to be daft that we were only meeting in a social surrounding, but to demand something? I think some women get above their own stations lmao
However, if I am entertaining at home, I make sure I know what they drink and buy it in, if they turn up without even a bottle of wine, I would be pretty miffed to be honest, but that is as far as I would go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can only go clubbing if I get a lift, but only if the couple or guy is local and are already going anyway, I don't drive. I always pay my own entry and/or drinks tho.
Chams daytime trips I normally public transport halfway, or get dropped at new street
Should I feel bad?? |
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"I can only go clubbing if I get a lift, but only if the couple or guy is local and are already going anyway, I don't drive. I always pay my own entry and/or drinks tho.
Chams daytime trips I normally public transport halfway, or get dropped at new street
Should I feel bad??"
No not at all and tbh I don't think the OP is referring to what you say..
more about when some, and to be fair its usually when a minority of Cpl's and single fems expect and state hotel rooms paid for by the other party..
seen one on here where the Cpl wanted 2 'decent' bottles of wine..
wtf is that about.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have seen this twice, Saw the packet of fags one. Hmmmm. But also saw one asking for meets to bring some food as she hadnt eaten for two days. That upset us.
Xx |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
Women and couples bitch about single guys, but they are quite happy to take gifts as and when, I have seen it on profiles, and to be honest some profiles could be adult worker profiles with "gift lists"...if a guy/couple/single female wishes to buy a token gift then fair enough.
Guys cannot do right for doing wrong really and to be honest its getting on my fucking last nerve....people who expect gifts are no better than the same said people who whinge about said guys...I would put them all in a swingers Room 101.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll offer Jaffa cakes for a lift
If y look at PRIVATE PARTS pix m8 u think you'll find he's already got that covered lol "
But u can never have enough jaffa cakes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll offer Jaffa cakes for a lift
If y look at PRIVATE PARTS pix m8 u think you'll find he's already got that covered lol
But u can never have enough jaffa cakes "
True |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i offered V for an aston martin.
im still waiting.
some people are very ungrateful lol"
Now hercy - apropos some other thread u posted on I seen to recall you stating u are rather a (ahem) 'well upholstered chap ' which your public images do not belie. Are u sure u would b comfortable behind wheel of an Aston Martin? It's a tight fit u know (altho I'm sure u are familiar wiv those  )
Perhaps it'd b best to stick wiv that tandem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i offered V for an aston martin.
im still waiting.
some people are very ungrateful lol
Now hercy - apropos some other thread u posted on I seen to recall you stating u are rather a (ahem) 'well upholstered chap ' which your public images do not belie. Are u sure u would b comfortable behind wheel of an Aston Martin? It's a tight fit u know (altho I'm sure u are familiar wiv those )
Perhaps it'd b best to stick wiv that tandem "
i could just stand and look at it, while i wash myself with a stick.  |
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