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The spark/attraction etc
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Have you ever thought it was there and the other person didn't?
Or thought there was something there worth exploring and the other person didn't?
Do you accept it's either there or it isn't and you can't 'encourage' it?
What can you do to encourage it? Like flirting and stuff?
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By *red333Man 40 weeks ago
Dorchester |
"Have you ever thought it was there and the other person didn't?
Or thought there was something there worth exploring and the other person didn't?
Do you accept it's either there or it isn't and you can't 'encourage' it?
What can you do to encourage it? Like flirting and stuff?
"
bribe them its the only way  |
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"Have you ever thought it was there and the other person didn't?
Or thought there was something there worth exploring and the other person didn't?
Do you accept it's either there or it isn't and you can't 'encourage' it?
What can you do to encourage it? Like flirting and stuff?
"
1. Probably
2. Definitely
3. Yes
4. I won't spend time trying to get someone to like me. If they don't they don't. |
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Often the other way around on the first two. I don't think I remember being especially into someone and it not being mutual.
Chemistry is or it isn't. There's no coaxing or coercing it when it's just not there  |
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"Do you accept it's either there or it isn't and you can't 'encourage' it? "
I pretty firmly believe in acceptance being the right course of action. If someone doesn’t fancy you, be a grown adult and respect their feelings. (Or lack thereof.)
.
"Have you ever thought it was there and the other person didn't?"
Not quite what you’re asking, but there was one girl I had a disastrous first date with. Awkward. Nothing to talk about. No spark whatsoever. We both agreed it wasn’t there - so this wasn’t a one-sided thing. But then one night I was walking home late (so late it was early) and heard Meatloaf songs blasting from a closed pub. A lock-in in full swing. And it made me think of her. So I texted her and said so. We chatted. We met up for a second date. And second time around the chemistry was off the charts. We ended up in bed that same night, and stayed together for a few months. She’s on Fab somewhere, actually. Popped up here a while back.
Anyway, I had a point. Oh yeah - Sometimes *both* of you don’t think the spark is there, but actually it’s just the wrong night. I think that’s pretty damn rare though. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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There are lots of people I find attractive and I enjoy the company of attractive people. However I'm the Queen of reciprocal liking so I have to know someone is interested in me before I start igniting sparks. |
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I don’t think you can encourage it but timing is important. I’ve been on a couple of dates with really attractive people and shown zero interest and just regretted the awful timing on my side.I should have waited till I was ready to give them full attention and energy |
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If it isn’t there from the start (and I mean after we saw each other in real life, I don’t do online) then it isn’t there.
I can’t see a way of “encouraging” someone whatever it takes, it’s just pretty much sad and gives out the desperation vibe.
Next. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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I’ve thought there’s nothing there and the other person thought there was something they wanted to explore. In those situations, when the other person has tried to encourage it, it makes for a very awkward situation.
Chemistry either is there or it isn’t. It shouldn’t be something you need to encourage the other person to explore. They’re either all in, or all out on their own in wanting to explore or not.
As a woman, meeting someone socially who can’t take the clearly communicated lack of interest makes for creepiness. |
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"
As a woman, meeting someone socially who can’t take the clearly communicated lack of interest makes for creepiness. "
As I bloke, meeting someone socially who can’t take the clearly communicated lack of interest makes them seem needy and stalkerish. |
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"Hopefully I'm neither needy, desperate or stalkerish....
Although, if I've got some spare time on my hands I might sit outside his window. That's OK right?
"
I think the rule is it's OK as long as you never blink. |
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"Hopefully I'm neither needy, desperate or stalkerish....
Although, if I've got some spare time on my hands I might sit outside his window. That's OK right?
I think the rule is it's OK as long as you never blink."
I'll superglue my eyelids open |
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"Do you accept it's either there or it isn't and you can't 'encourage' it?
I pretty firmly believe in acceptance being the right course of action. If someone doesn’t fancy you, be a grown adult and respect their feelings. (Or lack thereof.)
.
Have you ever thought it was there and the other person didn't?
Not quite what you’re asking, but there was one girl I had a disastrous first date with. Awkward. Nothing to talk about. No spark whatsoever. We both agreed it wasn’t there - so this wasn’t a one-sided thing. But then one night I was walking home late (so late it was early) and heard Meatloaf songs blasting from a closed pub. A lock-in in full swing. And it made me think of her. So I texted her and said so. We chatted. We met up for a second date. And second time around the chemistry was off the charts. We ended up in bed that same night, and stayed together for a few months. She’s on Fab somewhere, actually. Popped up here a while back.
Anyway, I had a point. Oh yeah - Sometimes *both* of you don’t think the spark is there, but actually it’s just the wrong night. I think that’s pretty damn rare though."
Interesting... lol |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Have you ever thought it was there and the other person didn't?
Or thought there was something there worth exploring and the other person didn't?
Do you accept it's either there or it isn't and you can't 'encourage' it?
What can you do to encourage it? Like flirting and stuff?
"
1. First one, yep. I was completely delusional thought something was there and there really wasn't (shrug). I'm big enough to admit that
2.Not sure about this one.
3. I think that spark can be encouraged. However, that may happen it's up to you. But you can certainly be friends and then it develope and grow into more. |
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"Have you ever thought it was there and the other person didn't?
Or thought there was something there worth exploring and the other person didn't?
Do you accept it's either there or it isn't and you can't 'encourage' it?
What can you do to encourage it? Like flirting and stuff?
1. Probably
2. Definitely
3. Yes
4. I won't spend time trying to get someone to like me. If they don't they don't. "
I agree with all that. I think the older you get, the more likely this is to happen as there are simply that many more people younger than oneself and one can't help feeling attracted to some of them, so one has to be increasingly careful and cautious in saying anything suggestive. |
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By *mf123Man 40 weeks ago
the space between spaces |
If she aint feeling it and craving it to the point her whole body is trembling at the prospect im not all that fussy about getting freaky i needed uncontrollable fire
But those days are over the lightning i found once cant be matched by mortals so i gave up the wish to try find it again |
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