FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fab has become unusable
Fab has become unusable
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I previously used Fab during my time in college and have since returned, 8 years later, full time a month ago.
Unfortunately, this site has gone to hell, at least in my locality.
All the women I chat with end up wanting to go on social meets before sex, and that's fine. In fact, I personally recommend we meet over drinks before anything happens as it builds chemistry and removes any awkwardness.
But many of these girls expect me to have six or more socials before anything happens. We might as well be dating at that point.
Perhaps that's why the average age of people on this site is now 40-something. Very few 20 year olds on here, in contrast to 8 years ago when I could find plenty.
A reminder that this is a swingers site, not a dating app. If I wanted to take a girl out on multiple "socials" then I'd just sign up to Tinder. |
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I apologise wholeheartedly on behalf of all women for not wanting to just bone you already  |
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By *oo..Woman 40 weeks ago
Boo's World |
Look for the "women" OP and not the girls is the best advice!
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I'm sorry you aren't finding people who align with your expectations. |
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By *RWoodyCouple 40 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
Whilst it can be appreciated it's not a dating site OP, I think it also has to be appreciated that a Swingers site doesnt necessarily mean jumping into bed with someone/some people by 'date' 2. J. |
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The cheek of it right?! They don't know what they're missing out on! Have you SEEN my penis!?
No seriously where is it. |
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O.P.
I get you. I get where you are coming from BUT ...... the power is in your hands.
Your boundary is one social.
Any second meet is for jiggery pokery.
Own your own weakness O.P. No one skull dragged you out 6 times.
First meet / social and maybe. Second meet Social Sex....
Put it on your profile  |
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"The cheek of it right?! They don't know what they're missing out on! Have you SEEN my penis!?
No seriously where is it. "
OMG ..... it's that penis again ! |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 40 weeks ago
Evergreen Forest, looking for Cyril Sneer |
To be honest having to go on what is essentially 6 dates before you get the green light is a bit ridiculous. |
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"O.P.
I get you. I get where you are coming from BUT ...... the power is in your hands.
Your boundary is one social.
Any second meet is for jiggery pokery.
Own your own weakness O.P. No one skull dragged you out 6 times.
First meet / social and maybe. Second meet Social Sex....
Put it on your profile "
This |
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"The cheek of it right?! They don't know what they're missing out on! Have you SEEN my penis!?
No seriously where is it.
OMG ..... it's that penis again !"
It's coming for ya granny! |
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"To be honest having to go on what is essentially 6 dates before you get the green light is a bit ridiculous."
It'd be too much for me, too. |
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"The cheek of it right?! They don't know what they're missing out on! Have you SEEN my penis!?
No seriously where is it.
OMG ..... it's that penis again !
It's coming for ya granny!"
I don't have a granny. That was cruel Bwuce ! |
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By *oo..Woman 40 weeks ago
Boo's World |
"The cheek of it right?! They don't know what they're missing out on! Have you SEEN my penis!?
No seriously where is it. "
Yours looks like he needs some tlc and soothing cream rubbed in, you've made him all red from all the non stop grabbing and teenage horn levels Brucey! |
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Every moan about the situation is about the people, not the site, Fabswingers doesn't turn people into what you want. Maybe you need to have a more realistic expectation of what people are like. |
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OP maybe say what you want on your profile as Swing has suggested.
A surprising number of people on here are looking to date, but 6 socials and no sex suggests they're not really attracted to you. Are you paying for everything?
Nita
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By *ugby 123Couple 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I wouldn't get that either. I would call that dating too.
However, if that's what the boundery is for that person and isn't for you then you don't match each other so I wouldn't go on a second / 3rd/4th meet etc and try and find someone who matches what you are looking for
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By *ugby 123Couple 40 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I apologise wholeheartedly on behalf of all women for not wanting to just bone you already "
He didn't say that at all. Lets not put words into his mouth as it sends the thread a different way altogether |
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Can't see this going well OP.
Where you say women want social meets before sex, well of course they do.
I guess they want to check us guys out before committing to anything which to be fair is their right.
Besides I've met women who for whatever reason there was zero chemistry, so I didn't fuck them.
Sex is more than the physical, well good sex is anyway |
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"I wouldn't get that either. I would call that dating too.
However, if that's what the boundery is for that person and isn't for you then you don't match each other so I wouldn't go on a second / 3rd/4th meet etc and try and find someone who matches what you are looking for
"
This is exactly it. It's their boundaries and their time value they put on themselves. Maybe over the top for some, but it's what they are comfortable with. |
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Apologies for the age demograph OP 
Wanna take me out for drinks? I fancy an espresso martini |
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Best bet is to go to the clubs that's where the fun is. You will love it just go on a newbie night. I went to one beginning of the year it was a great night met lots of nice people and the hosts were amazing. |
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You should make it clear one social only and if they don't like that your not compatible. Must say 6 socials is abit excessive |
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"You should make it clear one social only and if they don't like that your not compatible. Must say 6 socials is abit excessive"
Agreed, but still unsure how this is "Fab becoming unusable"  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Six socials before sex sounds good to me but then again I'm old |
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"I wouldn't get that either. I would call that dating too.
However, if that's what the boundery is for that person and isn't for you then you don't match each other so I wouldn't go on a second / 3rd/4th meet etc and try and find someone who matches what you are looking for
"
I agree with this, but then I'm not a 'white knight' or some 'clever clogs'that enjoys pulling an honest post down. |
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By *ee04Man 40 weeks ago
Thurrock |
I understand what the OP is saying in terms of a dating site.
The site became more popular during COVID, don’t know why when there was no meeting.
But as so many have said if it’s not your thing then move on.
I agree nothing wrong with a social but 6?
I still remember my first fab meet many years ago. It was a NSA meet with a woman locally. She arrived we got naked fucked and a lot more. We showered she dressed and left.
We both verified each other met a few more time same thing.
I have also been on a few socials were I didn’t want to go any further and quite a few that did. |
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Fair enough but after the 2nd social it should be clear there is no spark |
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By *lan157Man 40 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
6 social dates ? I have told you a million times about exaggerating |
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"I understand what the OP is saying in terms of a dating site.
The site became more popular during COVID, don’t know why when there was no meeting.
But as so many have said if it’s not your thing then move on.
I agree nothing wrong with a social but 6?
I still remember my first fab meet many years ago. It was a NSA meet with a woman locally. She arrived we got naked fucked and a lot more. We showered she dressed and left.
We both verified each other met a few more time same thing.
I have also been on a few socials were I didn’t want to go any further and quite a few that did. "
Nothing wrong with 6 either. If that's what they want to do before the sex then why is that wrong?
It's not the "normal" thing but it's not wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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If 6 socials isn't for you, just say so. I find men want things from me that I don't want, so I say no. It doesn't make Fab unusable? |
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"Apologies for the age demograph OP
Wanna take me out for drinks? I fancy an espresso martini "
I'll get you one, if I can drink mine off your ass haha |
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Anyway who in London wants 1 drink and then oral? |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Oh the frustration! It must be maddening  |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"I previously used Fab during my time in college and have since returned, 8 years later, full time a month ago.
Unfortunately, this site has gone to hell, at least in my locality.
All the women I chat with end up wanting to go on social meets before sex, and that's fine. In fact, I personally recommend we meet over drinks before anything happens as it builds chemistry and removes any awkwardness.
But many of these girls expect me to have six or more socials before anything happens. We might as well be dating at that point.
Perhaps that's why the average age of people on this site is now 40-something. Very few 20 year olds on here, in contrast to 8 years ago when I could find plenty.
A reminder that this is a swingers site, not a dating app. If I wanted to take a girl out on multiple "socials" then I'd just sign up to Tinder."
6 socials and no sex think your pretty much friend zoned. |
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Maybe use the singular when talking about social meeting  |
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"Anyway who in London wants 1 drink and then oral? "
Giving or Receiving ? |
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I agree with op in one why this used to be a swinging site, now it's becoming a dating site.
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"Apologies for the age demograph OP
Wanna take me out for drinks? I fancy an espresso martini
I'll get you one, if I can drink mine off your ass haha"
Might be a little extreme for whetherspoons, but hey, up for anything once! |
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"To be honest having to go on what is essentially 6 dates before you get the green light is a bit ridiculous."
If someone needed to social with me 6 times before any action, I'd assume they didn't fancy me in the slightest and cut my losses.
Sounds like OP isn't selecting people aligned with what's they actually want. |
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So true fabswingers is full of people looking at ur pics or talk about it on here it's a waste of time |
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It is odd to me.
One social, go away and digest and process how I feel about it. And if its not a fuck yes then it's a fuck no. There's no room for fucking about on "meh, maybe" reactions in my schedule |
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Think it must just be you, all the women I meet just fuck wherever we meet, there and then, I've been submerged in pussy since signing up.
Mrs |
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"
But many of these girls expect me to have six or more socials before anything happens. We might as well be dating at that point.
"
If it takes you 6 socials then you are dating at that point.
OP I have to be honest - if _all_ your meets are like that then you need to rethink what you are doing because clearly it isn’t working. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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It is a swingers site.
But people can use the site in any way they like, if you don’t want to go on multiple socials make that clear in your initial conversation.
A lot of the problems you’re suffering with on here are likely things you could change yourself.
I first found Fab in 2019 when I was 26 and I’ve never found it to be a place full of 20 somethings at all. |
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[Removed by poster at 22/12/23 14:54:26] |
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I think there is element of truth to what you say OP albeit perhaps not expressed in the most sensitive and elegant way
Fab has changed a bit over the years and especially during Covid a lot of people more interested in socials/dating etc came in, singles and couples. An element remains and sometimes I wonder why certain people are here although ultimately up to them.
That said Fab is still very much usable albeit not easy. There are plenty of ladies and couples across the whole spectrum including those who pretty much want to meet that day and fuck.
How often are you coming across ladies who want six socials? Surely this is rare? Are you indulging them? If this is a major problem for you then perhaps you need to reconsider your approach, who you interact with and what limits you place. No way in hell I would go on six socials and if I come across somebody a couple of times at a party or club and nothing happens pretty much give up - either give up and move on or just accept they are in the "friends zone". |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"I previously used Fab during my time in college and have since returned, 8 years later, full time a month ago.
Unfortunately, this site has gone to hell, at least in my locality.
All the women I chat with end up wanting to go on social meets before sex, and that's fine. In fact, I personally recommend we meet over drinks before anything happens as it builds chemistry and removes any awkwardness.
But many of these girls expect me to have six or more socials before anything happens. We might as well be dating at that point.
Perhaps that's why the average age of people on this site is now 40-something. Very few 20 year olds on here, in contrast to 8 years ago when I could find plenty.
A reminder that this is a swingers site, not a dating app. If I wanted to take a girl out on multiple "socials" then I'd just sign up to Tinder."
Perhaps it's different because 8 years ago you were the same age as them.
I wouldn't have 2 socials without a plan for more. I certainly wouldn't have 5 or 6. |
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"Can't see this going well OP.
Where you say women want social meets before sex, well of course they do.
I guess they want to check us guys out before committing to anything which to be fair is their right.
Besides I've met women who for whatever reason there was zero chemistry, so I didn't fuck them.
Sex is more than the physical, well good sex is anyway "
OP wasn't expressing concern at socials meet per se. You are misrepresenting what he said. It was the number of them not them taking place at all. |
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There isn't a lot we need to know about someone to want sex with someone, about 5 minutes of chat is sufficient to exclude someone.
Socials tend to be in the bar area of a club, if we want someone we get up, say we are off to a playroom and ask if they want to join us. If we are horny for you, we want you right now.
6 socials, you could be married to some people in less time. |
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"There isn't a lot we need to know about someone to want sex with someone, about 5 minutes of chat is sufficient to exclude someone.
Socials tend to be in the bar area of a club, if we want someone we get up, say we are off to a playroom and ask if they want to join us. If we are horny for you, we want you right now.
6 socials, you could be married to some people in less time."
Must admit i'm the similar with my partner in a party/club - well maybe not 5 mins but find extended socials even there tricky at times. If a private meet it is usually with prior agreement that most likely will play after a little chat if all happy. Some exceptions if lucky enough to meet a single lady as understand it can take more time for us all to feel comfortable. |
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Should add this is one of an increasing growing list of thing where the couples meeting couples and singles meeting singles experience can be quite different. It's like a whole different world at times. |
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"There isn't a lot we need to know about someone to want sex with someone, about 5 minutes of chat is sufficient to exclude someone.
Socials tend to be in the bar area of a club, if we want someone we get up, say we are off to a playroom and ask if they want to join us. If we are horny for you, we want you right now.
6 socials, you could be married to some people in less time."
I'd want a bit longer - online discussion for awhile then a social, or a little longer than 5 minutes in a club. But I can't think of any reason I'd want more than one social. |
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The twenty year olds from 8 years ago are now 28. I think that’s where you’re going wrong.
#girlmaths |
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"The twenty year olds from 8 years ago are now 28. I think that’s where you’re going wrong.
#girlmaths"
lol must admit I hadn't picked up on the age thing.
OP I'll whisper it quietly but you might end up having a far better time sexually with the over 40's experienced swingers than the young 20 year olds |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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This site is both a swinging site and a dating site. What about the single swingers looking for a partner to swing with? I'm somewhere in between personally.
Where OP seems to be unlucky is in clearly communicating his own desires and boundaries for what he wants.
Maybe the women he's ended up dating are looking for a long term partner to swing with and not NSA? Although I'm not sure how he wouldn't know that before a 3rd social. What are you talking about if not what you're into, what your values are, what is needed before trust is given for X, Y, Z, what you both want from a dynamic or sexual meet, and then negotiating limits and boundaries? Eastenders???
So many people talk about "communication is key" and then fail to actually communicate at all when it comes to the things that really matter. |
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"To be honest having to go on what is essentially 6 dates before you get the green light is a bit ridiculous.
It'd be too much for me, too."
That’s too many dates for tinder. |
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"
I first found Fab in 2019 when I was 26 and I’ve never found it to be a place full of 20 somethings at all. "
Sometimes I wish it was but it certainly never has been |
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By *hoirCouple 40 weeks ago
Bury St Edmunds/Clacton |
How does this make the service unusable though? For a start, you are using it right now. Secondly, this just sounds like a whine as you can't get any action anymore.
C |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Think it must just be you, all the women I meet just fuck wherever we meet, there and then, I've been submerged in pussy since signing up.
Mrs "
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"To be honest having to go on what is essentially 6 dates before you get the green light is a bit ridiculous.
It'd be too much for me, too.
That’s too many dates for tinder. "
My brief experience of Tinder is that guys are way less tolerant of "social first" |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"The twenty year olds from 8 years ago are now 28. I think that’s where you’re going wrong.
#girlmaths"
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I'd argue it's very usable to those who like to get to know the person they want to fuck.
Perhaps the issue is you and your expectations? |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"I previously used Fab during my time in college and have since returned, 8 years later, full time a month ago.
Unfortunately, this site has gone to hell, at least in my locality.
All the women I chat with end up wanting to go on social meets before sex, and that's fine. In fact, I personally recommend we meet over drinks before anything happens as it builds chemistry and removes any awkwardness.
But many of these girls expect me to have six or more socials before anything happens. We might as well be dating at that point.
Perhaps that's why the average age of people on this site is now 40-something. Very few 20 year olds on here, in contrast to 8 years ago when I could find plenty.
A reminder that this is a swingers site, not a dating app. If I wanted to take a girl out on multiple "socials" then I'd just sign up to Tinder."
I believe correct me if I'm wrong others can choose to use the site how they choose,
Tinder will be pleased to see you  |
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By *lex46TV/TS 40 weeks ago
Near Wells |
6 meetings before sex??
I get worried if we’re not having sex within 6 minutes of meeting |
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"To be honest having to go on what is essentially 6 dates before you get the green light is a bit ridiculous.
It'd be too much for me, too.
That’s too many dates for tinder.
My brief experience of Tinder is that guys are way less tolerant of "social first""
My experience of it is that women want to shag on the first date 
And nobody is on it for a serious relationship really despite the bios |
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Doesn't say alot for the OP. Either there's sexual attraction or not. Silly man for trying again and again . |
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I would only expect one social.
I wouldn't want to constantly meet someone for a social it's either there for me or not and if it's not then no point. |
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"I would only expect one social.
I wouldn't want to constantly meet someone for a social it's either there for me or not and if it's not then no point. "
I'd take your social  |
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"The cheek of it right?! They don't know what they're missing out on! Have you SEEN my penis!?
No seriously where is it. "
I handed it in to lost property. |
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What is it they say about keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome?
It takes two op.
Maybe look in the mirror.? If it's taking you 6 socials to get your fingers wet, and you don't like that. Try doing something different for a different outcome.? |
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What 6 social really
Never neverv |
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Only 6?! I’m not planning to bone anyone else until we are married, lucky you  |
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By *AYENCouple 40 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
It sounds like you're a great candidate for the friend zone. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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So OP,
In the eight months back on Fab have any of these extended socials actually ended in sex?
Sorry but someone’s got to ask |
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"I previously used Fab during my time in college and have since returned, 8 years later, full time a month ago.
Unfortunately, this site has gone to hell, at least in my locality.
All the women I chat with end up wanting to go on social meets before sex, and that's fine. In fact, I personally recommend we meet over drinks before anything happens as it builds chemistry and removes any awkwardness.
But many of these girls expect me to have six or more socials before anything happens. We might as well be dating at that point.
Perhaps that's why the average age of people on this site is now 40-something. Very few 20 year olds on here, in contrast to 8 years ago when I could find plenty.
A reminder that this is a swingers site, not a dating app. If I wanted to take a girl out on multiple "socials" then I'd just sign up to Tinder."
See you then bye bye turn the light off on your way out. |
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Some people here have completely misunderstood what I'm saying.
I have nothing against social meets but I recently had one that went on for six. Before that, I had one that went on for four. Of course, they're not all like this but this is becoming more frequent.
Once again, there's nothing wrong with social meet-ups but they certainly have become excessive. If they really weren't into me then we wouldn't still be going out and talking online.
Unfortunately, not a lot of choices on fab for what I'm after in my location. And I'm mainly targeting people my age, late-20s/mid-30s. I can certainly refuse to go out for more then two socials but I'm definitely seeing a pattern here in regards to what women are after on fab.
The purpose of social meets is to check eachother out and build some chemistry. Not try and fall in love with one another. And yes, I already have this in my bio long before I made this post.
In terms of demographics on Fab, it's gotten much older. But I guess dating/hookup apps are the cause of this because that's what most under 40s use for sex. |
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"So OP,
In the eight months back on Fab have any of these extended socials actually ended in sex?
Sorry but someone’s got to ask "
I'm quite picky but yes. Though I find Bumble and Hinge to be much easier and I'm not exaggerating. |
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By *mf123Man 40 weeks ago
the space between spaces |
Good luck with your socials id much prefer the early close |
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"So OP,
In the eight months back on Fab have any of these extended socials actually ended in sex?
Sorry but someone’s got to ask
I'm quite picky but yes. Though I find Bumble and Hinge to be much easier and I'm not exaggerating."
To be honest, these are probably better for hook ups and your age group than Fab.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Coffee? |
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"I previously used Fab during my time in college and have since returned, 8 years later, full time a month ago.
Unfortunately, this site has gone to hell, at least in my locality.
All the women I chat with end up wanting to go on social meets before sex, and that's fine. In fact, I personally recommend we meet over drinks before anything happens as it builds chemistry and removes any awkwardness.
But many of these girls expect me to have six or more socials before anything happens. We might as well be dating at that point.
Perhaps that's why the average age of people on this site is now 40-something. Very few 20 year olds on here, in contrast to 8 years ago when I could find plenty.
A reminder that this is a swingers site, not a dating app. If I wanted to take a girl out on multiple "socials" then I'd just sign up to Tinder."
On the first day of Christmas my truelove gave to me... |
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The older woman are better pal |
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I politely disagree. If I want to use it to date…I will.
I think people rely on fab too much for meeting. Lots of clubs and social events to meet people at. |
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"Some people here have completely misunderstood what I'm saying.
I have nothing against social meets but I recently had one that went on for six. Before that, I had one that went on for four. Of course, they're not all like this but this is becoming more frequent.
Once again, there's nothing wrong with social meet-ups but they certainly have become excessive. If they really weren't into me then we wouldn't still be going out and talking online.
Unfortunately, not a lot of choices on fab for what I'm after in my location. And I'm mainly targeting people my age, late-20s/mid-30s. I can certainly refuse to go out for more then two socials but I'm definitely seeing a pattern here in regards to what women are after on fab.
The purpose of social meets is to check eachother out and build some chemistry. Not try and fall in love with one another. And yes, I already have this in my bio long before I made this post.
In terms of demographics on Fab, it's gotten much older. But I guess dating/hookup apps are the cause of this because that's what most under 40s use for sex."
Can't argue with your experiences and it's an interesting observation that you make. Do you find similar behavior and expectations on other meet sites? |
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Women (and men), can use Fab however they like.
If you don't like it, go out, meet someone in a bar, pub, club. Or use a different app. |
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"So OP,
In the eight months back on Fab have any of these extended socials actually ended in sex?
Sorry but someone’s got to ask
I'm quite picky but yes. Though I find Bumble and Hinge to be much easier and I'm not exaggerating."
He's way too picky, that's his problem. Just look at what he's looking for ... |
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"So OP,
In the eight months back on Fab have any of these extended socials actually ended in sex?
Sorry but someone’s got to ask
I'm quite picky but yes. Though I find Bumble and Hinge to be much easier and I'm not exaggerating.
He's way too picky, that's his problem. Just look at what he's looking for ..."
Picky ain't a thing remember! It's good to have standards!
My good looking penis only wants to meet hot faces/vaginas! |
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By *oopy Lou 666Woman 40 weeks ago
Heaven.......I came down from Heaven |
"Look for the "women" OP and not the girls is the best advice!
"
well he is still in his 20`s.......... |
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"The older woman are better pal "
We old women already have husbands and suchlike, I don't have time for so many socials. We also probably have children, some not far off in age to the OP so we won't be wanting to go to some hip young-people bar etc.
Old women are sitting home, doing their knitting, in their sexy undies and stockings, just waiting for young studs to take 'em quickly, before 'im indoors wants a quick suck before bed and before little Kiddie gets up at 3am needing cuddles! |
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By *oopy Lou 666Woman 40 weeks ago
Heaven.......I came down from Heaven |
"To be honest having to go on what is essentially 6 dates before you get the green light is a bit ridiculous."
yeah ........I think we should know after 1st meet if you like the person.... |
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The cheek of them.
Usually when I go on socials, I'm usually already wearing a condom, I'm that lucky. |
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