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Free IVF...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have mixed feeling on IVF to be honest
I think women who cant have children is natures way of keeping the population down but on the other hand i understand the need for some women to have children, so i have very mixed feelings about this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i have mixed feeling on IVF to be honest
I think women who cant have children is natures way of keeping the population down but on the other hand i understand the need for some women to have children, so i have very mixed feelings about this"
I understand your mixed feelings. My concern is; would this relegate fatherhood more to the background than it is at present? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt"
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already! "
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already!
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up "
If one can't qualify to adopt, should they qualify for IVF then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already!
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up
If one can't qualify to adopt, should they qualify for IVF then?"
well the thing is they are more strict on how you bring up other peoples kids than they are your own
A good friends of mine fosters and her husband isnt allowed to bath the kids, change them etc, even tho hes had a CRB and has no criminal record at all, so i suppose you clould say if men who foster cant bath foster kids why are they allowed to bath their own?
its a very touchy subject |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already!
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up "
Adopting is far to hard . A lovely family down the road from me tried . They have 2 children of there own by IVF . He's a solicitor and she's a teacher . But they were turned down because before you adopted you have the child on a Forstering agreement . When your Forstering a child you can't leave the country with that child . My friends have family all over the world and said that they were not planing on leaving the country but if something was to happen to there family they might have to . That was it they were not aloud to adopt ! |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already!
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up
If one can't qualify to adopt, should they qualify for IVF then?
well the thing is they are more strict on how you bring up other peoples kids than they are your own
A good friends of mine fosters and her husband isnt allowed to bath the kids, change them etc, even tho hes had a CRB and has no criminal record at all, so i suppose you clould say if men who foster cant bath foster kids why are they allowed to bath their own?
its a very touchy subject"
Wow! That's a new dimension. If he's got no criminal record and has a clear CRB what reason have they got to stop him bathing the kids? Is that not sexism?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already!
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up
Adopting is far to hard . A lovely family down the road from me tried . They have 2 children of there own by IVF . He's a solicitor and she's a teacher . But they were turned down because before you adopted you have the child on a Forstering agreement . When your Forstering a child you can't leave the country with that child . My friends have family all over the world and said that they were not planing on leaving the country but if something was to happen to there family they might have to . That was it they were not aloud to adopt ! "
Didn't know it was this difficult to adopt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Didn't know it was this difficult to adopt."
its very hard to adopt
They can pull up criminal records that have been cleared
If you commit a crime before the age of 18 after 3 years its cleared, so if you went for a CRB when you was say 35 to work in a care home you would have a clear record so long as you was well behaved after the age of 18 of course, if your adopting then they can go into old records that usually arnt shown, and if theres anything on there at all your rejected, so something as daft as being a idiot at 14 and going into boots and pinching a lipstick as a dare wth your mates will stop you, even tho 20 years on you've grown up, got a good job and wouldnt dream of doing such a thing |
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I think all of the checks and rules are there to ensure the adopted babies/children are given the best chance of having a good life, which unfortunately , children who are born naturally into a family do not always get. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Didn't know it was this difficult to adopt.
its very hard to adopt
They can pull up criminal records that have been cleared
If you commit a crime before the age of 18 after 3 years its cleared, so if you went for a CRB when you was say 35 to work in a care home you would have a clear record so long as you was well behaved after the age of 18 of course, if your adopting then they can go into old records that usually arnt shown, and if theres anything on there at all your rejected, so something as daft as being a idiot at 14 and going into boots and pinching a lipstick as a dare wth your mates will stop you, even tho 20 years on you've grown up, got a good job and wouldnt dream of doing such a thing"
That ridiculous! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think all of the checks and rules are there to ensure the adopted babies/children are given the best chance of having a good life, which unfortunately , children who are born naturally into a family do not always get."
My initial thoughts was that all children should be able to have a good life, born or adopted. Why put so much huddles on adoption and then let some people treat their kids like rubbish? |
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"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF"
Are you for real? Do you have children? Cos someone who can't have them would never say such a narrow minded thing.
I can't have children and even IVF won't help but my god it it would i would hope I would be eligible to have this on the NHS...not having children when every urge and fibre in your body screams out to have them is physically painful not just mentally...I go through every day with a gut wrenching heart roping pain knowing I will never experience the joy of my own child.... Your _iew amazes me so if I self inflict liver disease from drinking too much or heart disease from eating too much as that is self inflicted am I eligible for NHS treatment too??
I pay my taxes etc as every other person and see no reason why a round of IVF shoukd not be available if it gives me the chance to have what should happen naturally and from no fault of my own isn't.
As for adoption being an alternative... Nothing will replace never holding a baby in my arms that I have created, grown and nurtured... There isn't an alternative to this.
Such and inconsiderate and Cruel thing to say I hope you are never cursed with so raging beyond your control and be told that nobody can help you as your not in 'physical' pain.... What a joke!!!! |
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"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF
As for adoption being an alternative... Nothing will replace never holding a baby in my arms that I have created, grown and nurtured... There isn't an alternative to this.
"
please dont suggest that us adopted children are less loved than a natural child. I am sorry that you have issues with having children, but adoption is a real and very rewarding option, and there are many babies who would love a loving pair of arms cuddling them. x |
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See . Sorry to hear your pain from not being able to have children. I would have gone down the get over it and adopt road cos being a father this has never been a problem . But to hear your pain of loss has softened my stance. Ivf is expensive and there are other drains on the nhs but as the technology is there , a limited chance to have children must surely be offered to people in your position |
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"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF
As for adoption being an alternative... Nothing will replace never holding a baby in my arms that I have created, grown and nurtured... There isn't an alternative to
please dont suggest that us adopted children are less loved than a natural child. I am sorry that you have issues with having children, but adoption is a real and very rewarding option, and there are many babies who would love a loving pair of arms cuddling them. x "
Sorry of this came across that way my partner is also adopted ... Just annoys me people see it as an alternative .., not every can adopt for many reasons and as you are aware adoption is an even harder path many times to follow.
We are waiting for out first meeting re adoption now but as much as I will love and adore that child or still won't be 100% the same for me x |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF
Are you for real? Do you have children? Cos someone who can't have them would never say such a narrow minded thing.
I can't have children and even IVF won't help but my god it it would i would hope I would be eligible to have this on the NHS...not having children when every urge and fibre in your body screams out to have them is physically painful not just mentally...I go through every day with a gut wrenching heart roping pain knowing I will never experience the joy of my own child.... Your _iew amazes me so if I self inflict liver disease from drinking too much or heart disease from eating too much as that is self inflicted am I eligible for NHS treatment too??
I pay my taxes etc as every other person and see no reason why a round of IVF shoukd not be available if it gives me the chance to have what should happen naturally and from no fault of my own isn't.
As for adoption being an alternative... Nothing will replace never holding a baby in my arms that I have created, grown and nurtured... There isn't an alternative to this.
Such and inconsiderate and Cruel thing to say I hope you are never cursed with so raging beyond your control and be told that nobody can help you as your not in 'physical' pain.... What a joke!!!!"
I'm child free by choice...I stand by my opinion - it's just that, my opinion, fairly given on an internet site as is yours - I don't consider your opinion a joke and would never slag you off for that. if you can't get pregnant naturally, I hope you manage to get IVF, but that doesn't mean I should believe it to be a given for those that can't get naturally get pregnant - I'd rather (selfishly) make sure that those in physical pain are treated ahead of those whose mental pain may be treated with therapy or who could take an unwanted/abused child into their lives. My best wishes go to you for hopefully becoming a parent in whichever way may be best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF"
Definitely agree (and I'm a leftie!) Also the adoption of children is to be made easier, apparently. We shall see. |
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Don't quite know how you recommend how we Judge what physical pain is more important than mental pain and vice versa... I deal everyday with people who have severe mental health issues they would have some very valid reasons that their pain may be classed and mental pain but is very much the opposite... Sadly therapy etc does not work for everyone |
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Im thinking along the lines of....
A child already born, suffering with a disease that needs treatment.
A couple desperately trying to have a child but not sucessful.
How does anyone decide where NHS money is best spent.
I know what I would choose, but thats my own personal opinion.
I wouldnt like to think that because of IVF being more widely available on the NHS that other life saving treatments would be under threat.
How to balance it is a nightmare.
Oh for a perfect world. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sister tried for five years to conceive...by the time they decided they needed help she was 40...told she was to old. They have both worked all their lives and put into the nhs system. I think its unfair to just draw a line to all of those above a certain age...they both got good careers under their belts and a comfortable home before trying to start a family...why should they and those like them be penalised.
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"i have mixed feeling on IVF to be honest
I think women who cant have children is natures way of keeping the population down but on the other hand i understand the need for some women to have children, so i have very mixed feelings about this"
until you have been in that position you will never no how a women feels i had IVF, fertility runs in my family so cos that is our gene we shouldn't have kids??
its these people that just go having kids willy nilly for extra benifits should be stopped. because they can not care for every child they decide to have.
i say yes to the over 40s n lesbian but there should be a cut of age some where, as a lot of women on here know most of them look after there grandchildren and make a better job of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some of you have just got no idea. for some not beingable to have children causes mental health issues this leading to more spending from the nhs. adoption is very very hard you have to jump to the highest star to prove your worth as a potential parent for that child, i know i went through the process with my ex. we were told to get pur child we would be better on benefits with the child 24/7 rather than a normal working family in a financialy stable home. Because of my fertility issues it cost me the love of my life now too, because him having his own blood was too important for his family. Our first ivf didnt work which yes we got on the nhs. they didnt want us to adopt. so now im on the cusp of 40 single and desperate for a family to call my own, rather than beet my hope down with a iron bar of comments think about how you would feel if so,thing you had wanted all your life you couldnt reach not matter what you did. chances are now i wont ever be a mummy a fact i cant accept no matter how much im told it. would i adopt yes anyday but in my area i cant as im single so another child is missing out on a loving mummy. |
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By *smWoman
over a year ago
.somewhere in Cornwall |
"What are your _iews on this latest move by the government to offer free IVF treatment to over 40s and Lesbian couples?
"
too late for us.. we tried to get help 4 years ago, but were turned down due to my age (41 at the time). Hubby had radiotherpy and banked his sperm but we still couldn't get help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are your _iews on this latest move by the government to offer free IVF treatment to over 40s and Lesbian couples?
"
Not seen this in the press so do both lezzers get IVF then? Where does the spunk cum from and can they both claim family allowance? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a woman who for genetic and gynae reasons will definitely require IVF if i want children I'm shocked by some of the comments here.
One of the big struggles I have mentally is that having children would be very difficult for me. I'm facing the prospect of carrying the Delta F508 Cystic Fibrosis gene as well as having an ovary which probably needs removing, a hostile uterus and endometriosis. I feel very unfeminine with these issues.
If IVF becomes a fee paid option then I've no chance of becoming a mother. My body has put me through enough, should I be punished because of my health? I don't want the CF gene passed down the generations.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing is we all have to accept everyone has their own _iews and opinion on every subject, we're not going to agree on everything and wether peoples _iews offend us or not we have to accept other peoples right to feel them
A lot of people dont really care about subjects that dont affect them, again their rights to feel that way
Its not a subject that affects me so i have no realy feelings either way, thats not to say i dont care its just hard to have a real _iew on something thats not part of your life, if it was something more closer to home im sure i would feel more passionate about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF"
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"
A good friends of mine fosters and her husband isnt allowed to bath the kids, change them etc, even tho hes had a CRB and has no criminal record at all, so i suppose you clould say if men who foster cant bath foster kids why are they allowed to bath their own?
its a very touchy subject"
He must be a saint  |
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18 years ago when IVF became available on the NHS i was one of the many first to be offered this treatment.
to be given that chance was the first step to been a mother. at the time there was also the controversy of unmarried cpls i was one of them to. me and paul had been together for 8 years at that time, that is longer than most marriages these days.
but the fact remains just because we have not signed a piece of paper to say we want to spend the rest of our life together shouldn't mean any thing.
lucky for us a year later i was carrying our gift she is 17 now had a good education and now at collage trying to build a life for herself and guess what 23 years on me and paul still haven't signed that piece of paper.
so it goes to show all them that slagged us for not been married can stick it where the sun don't shine because we have well and truly proved the right to be parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apparently it can cost anything up to £20,000 for this treatment. A lot of money but money I, personally, would have tried to earn or save to have children. (I did not need to I have two).
I am not so sure about it being funded by NHS when people facing terminal illness are waiting for treatment. I would suggest a grant system offering partial help might be more appropriate. |
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Well seeings as my child is an IVF baby I can't say I'm against it, my child is my world and anyone who goes through IVF will know how hard it is
As for adoption cos of my work I couldn't, people seem to think you put your name down for a baby and wow the next day it is there waiting for you, my family has a lot to do with social services and believe me it's not easy, going through the foster process was tough on its own
Having said that I do believe that when you reach an age for the health of mum and baby there should be limits, there are so many children in care that need families, and it breaks my heart to see that it is all made so hard
Sj |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are your _iews on this latest move by the government to offer free IVF treatment to over 40s and Lesbian couples?
Not seen this in the press so do both lezzers get IVF then? Where does the spunk cum from and can they both claim family allowance?"
They are saying that they have one each but give one to a gay couple who cannot do it themselves. (EEC regulations?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do agree that Ivf aswell as cosmetic surgery shouldn't be paid for by the nhs when there is people dying from things like cancer were medication is deemed to expensive. I'm aware it doesn't cure it but can prolong the life of some people. Surely the money should be used to extend life or save a life rather than create one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As my past posts on the subject of yet more drains on the planet's resources suggest, I'm all for making it easier for people to reproduce at public expense.
I'm short sighted, do I get laser eye surgery on the NHS to correct it? Do I fuck. Because not every condition is debilitating enough to be life threatening or severely impact on the quality of life.
It may be a difficult path, but try fostering or adoption first at least. If you don't qualify for IVF then you probably qualify for help from a mental health professional for the anguish.
Once again, throw in a scenario involving babies or children and people lose their bloody minds. Get a grip on reality, a reality which is we can't afford the people already here. |
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By *arl828Man
over a year ago
warrington, Cheshire |
"Well seeings as my child is an IVF baby I can't say I'm against it, my child is my world and anyone who goes through IVF will know how hard it is
As for adoption cos of my work I couldn't, people seem to think you put your name down for a baby and wow the next day it is there waiting for you, my family has a lot to do with social services and believe me it's not easy, going through the foster process was tough on its own
Having said that I do believe that when you reach an age for the health of mum and baby there should be limits, there are so many children in care that need families, and it breaks my heart to see that it is all made so hard
Sj "
My 4 year old daughter was an IUI baby and took us 6 years to get her. As for adoption we looked at that but I admitted I could never love the child 100% because it wasn't my biological child, this make me sound selfish or horrible but thats how I felt at the time. |
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"Well seeings as my child is an IVF baby I can't say I'm against it, my child is my world and anyone who goes through IVF will know how hard it is
As for adoption cos of my work I couldn't, people seem to think you put your name down for a baby and wow the next day it is there waiting for you, my family has a lot to do with social services and believe me it's not easy, going through the foster process was tough on its own
Having said that I do believe that when you reach an age for the health of mum and baby there should be limits, there are so many children in care that need families, and it breaks my heart to see that it is all made so hard
Sj
My 4 year old daughter was an IUI baby and took us 6 years to get her. As for adoption we looked at that but I admitted I could never love the child 100% because it wasn't my biological child, this make me sound selfish or horrible but thats how I felt at the time."
I can understand people feeling that way and I make no judgement as I believe I could never love anyone as much as my child
Sj |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As my past posts on the subject of yet more drains on the planet's resources suggest, I'm all for making it easier for people to reproduce at public expense.
I'm short sighted, do I get laser eye surgery on the NHS to correct it? Do I fuck. Because not every condition is debilitating enough to be life threatening or severely impact on the quality of life.
It may be a difficult path, but try fostering or adoption first at least. If you don't qualify for IVF then you probably qualify for help from a mental health professional for the anguish.
Once again, throw in a scenario involving babies or children and people lose their bloody minds. Get a grip on reality, a reality which is we can't afford the people already here."
Very well said. |
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"As my past posts on the subject of yet more drains on the planet's resources suggest, I'm all for making it easier for people to reproduce at public expense.
I'm short sighted, do I get laser eye surgery on the NHS to correct it? Do I fuck. Because not every condition is debilitating enough to be life threatening or severely impact on the quality of life.
It may be a difficult path, but try fostering or adoption first at least. If you don't qualify for IVF then you probably qualify for help from a mental health professional for the anguish.
Once again, throw in a scenario involving babies or children and people lose their bloody minds. Get a grip on reality, a reality which is we can't afford the people already here."
I agree with your final paragraph Jodie.
There is far too much sentiment and prejudice in most responses on either side of any argument.
People use the word 'rights' without thinking about what a right is or the consequences of exercising a right simply because they can. |
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"If they are giving it away free I will have some. Sell it down the pub. 
I'd love a Baby Sham ?
 Madam, you're a comedy genius!
Your ass inspires me so much I gave it a carrot. "
Ouch!
That will be why it's went orange. |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
This is highly emotive subject for some people, particularly due to how infertility and pregnancy loss can affect a relationship.
Take me for example. My husband and I have been trying to have a child for 8 years. In that time we have been through seven first trimester miscarriages and 3 years of unexplained infertility. The psychological effects of all this is what has lead to my husband's loss of libido and me being here.
We attempted to get ivf on the nhs. I was told that I had to lose five stone in weight before my 35th birthday to be put on the list, a time period of just three months. Needless to say we didn't achieve it and out pct refuses to help us.
The current guidelines for ivf are not being followed so I seriously doubt if the change will make much difference to most people seeking help.
Some people say to adopt. I say have you tried?
We have. We got 6 months along the line of endless social worker visits only to be turned down when they checked my credit history. We were rejected because I had credit card debt at the age of 18
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF
Are you for real? Do you have children? Cos someone who can't have them would never say such a narrow minded thing.
I can't have children and even IVF won't help but my god it it would i would hope I would be eligible to have this on the NHS...not having children when every urge and fibre in your body screams out to have them is physically painful not just mentally...I go through every day with a gut wrenching heart roping pain knowing I will never experience the joy of my own child.... Your _iew amazes me so if I self inflict liver disease from drinking too much or heart disease from eating too much as that is self inflicted am I eligible for NHS treatment too??
I pay my taxes etc as every other person and see no reason why a round of IVF shoukd not be available if it gives me the chance to have what should happen naturally and from no fault of my own isn't.
As for adoption being an alternative... Nothing will replace never holding a baby in my arms that I have created, grown and nurtured... There isn't an alternative to this.
Such and inconsiderate and Cruel thing to say I hope you are never cursed with so raging beyond your control and be told that nobody can help you as your not in 'physical' pain.... What a joke!!!!"
I was told the chances of me concieving naturally were almost zero.
I brought my step daughter up and even splitting with her dad she stayed with me. I also was about to look into fostering/adoption as she was off to uni when I found out I was pregnant!
Big massive shock.. And I'm over the moon to have my son, but I never wanted fertility treatment as I don't like the idea of messing with nature and I would happily have brought up a zillion kids who weren't mine and felt forfilled. A child is a child blood or not.. All children deserve a chance inlife |
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you say about what NHS should fund. get this one then....
i paid for 2 courses of treatment before i was told the treatment i was having was no good for me as i could end up with multiple births, at that time there was no funding what so ever for IVF.
we was devastated at that time our wages wasn't all that good so we couldn't afford any more treatment specialty IVF at a cost of £3000 a go.
in the time period of us coming to terms i could not give paul a baby, pauls sister went to see her doctor because her boobs was to small and guess what she was put forward to have a boob job done on the NHS 6 months down the line a nice new pair of boobs. now tell me about where the money should go ????? |
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"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children."
Well said
Amazes me how people compare IVF to laser eye surgery hardly in the same league.
As for the women who have negative _iews against IVF and comment they chose to not have children for whatever reason... At least you had that 'choice' my choice was made for me and I something I would gladly change everyday!! |
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The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children.
Well said
Amazes me how people compare IVF to laser eye surgery hardly in the same league.
As for the women who have negative _iews against IVF and comment they chose to not have children for whatever reason... At least you had that 'choice' my choice was made for me and I something I would gladly change everyday!!"
and some people were born with spina bifida or cerebal palsy and will never walk.. but they have to live with that.
just saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm aware I am very lucky in that I conceived my three children naturally, maybe not so lucky that later in life I was diagnosed with a condition that at the moment has no cure and at best can be managed or the progression slowed down. I know for a fact the treatment I receive for my illness would not be available on the NHS if it wasn't for the fact that the drugs company provide some of the funding..there just isn't enough money in the pot to treat everything and my illness isn't life threatening so although I could be permanently and completely disabled any treatment I receive is a bonus, not a right. If I was unfortunate enough to be childless I know I would want treatment and I know I would be distraught if it wasn't available to me, but I can't say that I would be automatically entitled to help via the NHS as not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Having children is a blessing, not an automatic right and, yes, in an ideal world there should be funds available to help everyone that wants it..however this is not an ideal world.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them. "
to be fair you really cant do that
I lost one of my children when he was 20 month old so i know how it feel to have kids and know what life without them is like i dont have to imagine, but had i never had any kids that wouldnt be the same
My life could have been bloody great without kids or could have been shite, who knows, you cant dwell on what you could or couldnt have had only what you do have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children.
Well said
Amazes me how people compare IVF to laser eye surgery hardly in the same league.
As for the women who have negative _iews against IVF and comment they chose to not have children for whatever reason... At least you had that 'choice' my choice was made for me and I something I would gladly change everyday!!
and some people were born with spina bifida or cerebal palsy and will never walk.. but they have to live with that.
just saying"
My brother was born with cystic fibrosis so I know about genetics. That's why I qualify for PGD, because I carry the cf gene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Having children is a blessing, not an automatic right and, yes, in an ideal world there should be funds available to help everyone that wants it..however this is not an ideal world.
"
do you really believe that?
lets strip this down to basic's, we are born to reproduce and die, end of, thats our basics on life, having children isnt a blessing its what we are designed to do to keep the population going
Maybe not being abale to have kids is natures way of saying there is something wrong here?
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
"
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Having children is a blessing, not an automatic right and, yes, in an ideal world there should be funds available to help everyone that wants it..however this is not an ideal world.
do you really believe that?
lets strip this down to basic's, we are born to reproduce and die, end of, thats our basics on life, having children isnt a blessing its what we are designed to do to keep the population going
Maybe not being abale to have kids is natures way of saying there is something wrong here?
"
I believe that I was blessed with having my three children as I know others aren't so lucky. If the technology to assist conception had never been discovered then I guess the people that were unable to conceive would still be upset, but would maybe accept there was little that could be done about it. Rightly or wrongly IVF has been discovered along with other techniques (and that's a whole different subject) ,and so people in that situation are going to want access to them. I am not sure that finances are necessarily the right way to decide who receives that help or not so yes, in an ideal world all people would be entitled to the same help regardless of their income, but the NHS has to have priorities of need over choice. |
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"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children.
Well said
Amazes me how people compare IVF to laser eye surgery hardly in the same league.
As for the women who have negative _iews against IVF and comment they chose to not have children for whatever reason... At least you had that 'choice' my choice was made for me and I something I would gladly change everyday!!
and some people were born with spina bifida or cerebal palsy and will never walk.. but they have to live with that.
just saying"
Sorry but where did I compare this to spina bifida or cerebral palsy? Or are you saying because some people are born with disabilities why should IVF be in the NHS...if there was a cure for such disabilities or a chance if treatment for a better quality of life I'm sure people would expect this to be funded by the NHS and not a lottery on where you live or your age etc... Maybe the 40 year old with spina bifida should be put at the back of the queue for and treatment like this simply because the have passes a prime age... Sure it would cause uproar if this happened |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow! Never knew this could be an emotional one. I thought I had an opinion on this subject but having through each contribution on this thread, I do not have an opinion anymore, I am now forming a new opinion.
I would say that each contribution seemed to have come from the heart and I respect each for their individual _iews. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children.
Well said
Amazes me how people compare IVF to laser eye surgery hardly in the same league.
As for the women who have negative _iews against IVF and comment they chose to not have children for whatever reason... At least you had that 'choice' my choice was made for me and I something I would gladly change everyday!!
and some people were born with spina bifida or cerebal palsy and will never walk.. but they have to live with that.
just saying
Sorry but where did I compare this to spina bifida or cerebral palsy? Or are you saying because some people are born with disabilities why should IVF be in the NHS...if there was a cure for such disabilities or a chance if treatment for a better quality of life I'm sure people would expect this to be funded by the NHS and not a lottery on where you live or your age etc... Maybe the 40 year old with spina bifida should be put at the back of the queue for and treatment like this simply because the have passes a prime age... Sure it would cause uproar if this happened "
i never said u did compare it.. i was just making the point that sometimes you have to just accept the way you were made. even ivf isnt 100% guarenteed to work.
people would be happier if they were grateful for the things they have rather than the things they dont. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons "
ive seen some of your posts in various threads and it makes me wander you true inner intentions for being on a site like this.. i think you have alot going on and im not sure a site like this is going to help. |
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"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children.
Well said
Amazes me how people compare IVF to laser eye surgery hardly in the same league.
As for the women who have negative _iews against IVF and comment they chose to not have children for whatever reason... At least you had that 'choice' my choice was made for me and I something I would gladly change everyday!!
and some people were born with spina bifida or cerebal palsy and will never walk.. but they have to live with that.
just saying
Sorry but where did I compare this to spina bifida or cerebral palsy? Or are you saying because some people are born with disabilities why should IVF be in the NHS...if there was a cure for such disabilities or a chance if treatment for a better quality of life I'm sure people would expect this to be funded by the NHS and not a lottery on where you live or your age etc... Maybe the 40 year old with spina bifida should be put at the back of the queue for and treatment like this simply because the have passes a prime age... Sure it would cause uproar if this happened i never said u did compare it.. i was just making the point that sometimes you have to just accept the way you were made. even ivf isnt 100% guarenteed to work.
people would be happier if they were grateful for the things they have rather than the things they dont."
I wasn't "made" this was things have caused this to happen that can't be corrected...sorry but my biggest fear is growing old with no children or grandchildren around me sorry if I'm not grateful that I may have a nice house, freedom etc now but come 40 years time I'm going to be very lonely with no family of my own... I am an only child from a very small family who is very unlikely to have extended family around me at that age |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons
ive seen some of your posts in various threads and it makes me wander you true inner intentions for being on a site like this.. i think you have alot going on and im not sure a site like this is going to help."
I have only been posting in forums for 36 hours and only in a handful of threads. Do you truely think that a handful of posts in a forum enables you to know me well enough to make such a comment?
While I thank you for your concern I do have to say that I am the best judge of whether this site is for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons
ive seen some of your posts in various threads and it makes me wander you true inner intentions for being on a site like this.. i think you have alot going on and im not sure a site like this is going to help.
I have only been posting in forums for 36 hours and only in a handful of threads. Do you truely think that a handful of posts in a forum enables you to know me well enough to make such a comment?
While I thank you for your concern I do have to say that I am the best judge of whether this site is for me "
Exactly just a few posts and yet you have said so many concerning things such as trying to take ur own life and struggle to concieve and how ur husbands sex drive has been affected so ur on here.
From an outsiders _iew it seems you have a lot of problems and things going on in ur life that could be clouding ur own reasoning for being here.
Most of all it seems ur husband has also been going through a lot and what might finding out about u being on here going to do to him?
Do u think its him that can't impregnante u? Maybe a casual encounter might achieve it?
I'm not trying to be judgemental and I don't know ur full story, ibut I can relate with how not concieving can do to how u think, I did some things people tried to tell me I was doing but I couldn't see it at the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My sister tried for five years to conceive...by the time they decided they needed help she was 40...told she was to old. They have both worked all their lives and put into the nhs system. I think its unfair to just draw a line to all of those above a certain age...they both got good careers under their belts and a comfortable home before trying to start a family...why should they and those like them be penalised.
They are not being penalised. The fact is that over the age of 40, a woman who has had to use IVF in order to GET pregnant will be much less likely to carry to full term. It's both medical ethics AND economics coming into play.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons "
But that's you, you are not "everywoman" who is infertile. What did people do prior to IVF? They managed. |
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By *ig jugsWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise."
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been trying for kids for 2 years and my next step is ivf I think society now a days just don't understand if a women wants a child wats wrong with having ur own!  |
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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago
Bedworth |
"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons
ive seen some of your posts in various threads and it makes me wander you true inner intentions for being on a site like this.. i think you have alot going on and im not sure a site like this is going to help.
I have only been posting in forums for 36 hours and only in a handful of threads. Do you truely think that a handful of posts in a forum enables you to know me well enough to make such a comment?
While I thank you for your concern I do have to say that I am the best judge of whether this site is for me
Exactly just a few posts and yet you have said so many concerning things such as trying to take ur own life and struggle to concieve and how ur husbands sex drive has been affected so ur on here.
From an outsiders _iew it seems you have a lot of problems and things going on in ur life that could be clouding ur own reasoning for being here.
Most of all it seems ur husband has also been going through a lot and what might finding out about u being on here going to do to him?
Do u think its him that can't impregnante u? Maybe a casual encounter might achieve it?
I'm not trying to be judgemental and I don't know ur full story, ibut I can relate with how not concieving can do to how u think, I did some things people tried to tell me I was doing but I couldn't see it at the time"
Do I also not say that I'm in a better place. The point I was trying to make is that over the years I have had a lot of help from mental health professionals to get me to the place I am now. Help which has cost the nhs many thousands of pounds.
You question my reasoning for being here but then go on to say you're not being judgmental. I find that somewhat contradictory.
Finally you psychoanalyse my posts and conclude that I must be looking for someone to impregnate me yet fail to notice that on my profile I say that I only ever play safe.
I think it's fair to say that we have very differing _iews
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise.
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting. "
I bet you wouldn't have that stance or attitude if you or one of your family members needed life saving or prolonging treatment but were told sorry its to expensive because we are offering Ivf and cosmetic surgery to everyone. It's not life threatening so should not be funded by the nhs. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons
ive seen some of your posts in various threads and it makes me wander you true inner intentions for being on a site like this.. i think you have alot going on and im not sure a site like this is going to help.
I have only been posting in forums for 36 hours and only in a handful of threads. Do you truely think that a handful of posts in a forum enables you to know me well enough to make such a comment?
While I thank you for your concern I do have to say that I am the best judge of whether this site is for me
Exactly just a few posts and yet you have said so many concerning things such as trying to take ur own life and struggle to concieve and how ur husbands sex drive has been affected so ur on here.
From an outsiders _iew it seems you have a lot of problems and things going on in ur life that could be clouding ur own reasoning for being here.
Most of all it seems ur husband has also been going through a lot and what might finding out about u being on here going to do to him?
Do u think its him that can't impregnante u? Maybe a casual encounter might achieve it?
I'm not trying to be judgemental and I don't know ur full story,"
That is a lot of assumptions you have made from the posters post.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"not having children is unlikely to kill me.
Not having children has nearly killed me on four occasions. The depression which comes along with recurrent miscarriage and infertility has lead me to attempt taking my own life four times. I dread to think how much this has cost the nhs.
Fortunately, these days I am in a better place and am currently dealing with my demons
ive seen some of your posts in various threads and it makes me wander you true inner intentions for being on a site like this.. i think you have alot going on and im not sure a site like this is going to help.
I have only been posting in forums for 36 hours and only in a handful of threads. Do you truely think that a handful of posts in a forum enables you to know me well enough to make such a comment?
While I thank you for your concern I do have to say that I am the best judge of whether this site is for me
Exactly just a few posts and yet you have said so many concerning things such as trying to take ur own life and struggle to concieve and how ur husbands sex drive has been affected so ur on here.
From an outsiders _iew it seems you have a lot of problems and things going on in ur life that could be clouding ur own reasoning for being here.
Most of all it seems ur husband has also been going through a lot and what might finding out about u being on here going to do to him?
Do u think its him that can't impregnante u? Maybe a casual encounter might achieve it?
I'm not trying to be judgemental and I don't know ur full story,
That is a lot of assumptions you have made from the posters post. "
Just speaking from experience
As for stating u play safe on a profile, we all know what's written isn't always what happens. Been discussed a lot on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is that our profile you are dissecting without justification or are you quoting the wrong person?
"
Sorry answered ur post about speaking from experience then the post above urs about safe sex
Never seen ur profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If alcholics and smokers can choose to abuse their bodies and always receive free treatment on the NHS. I don't see why some who can't have a child naturally should not be treated for free.
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Is that our profile you are dissecting without justification or are you quoting the wrong person?
Sorry answered ur post about speaking from experience then the post above urs about safe sex
Never seen ur profile"
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"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise.
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting. "
I am for real and I do have a grip.
If someone can't afford to save a few grand a year, then can they really afford kids?
Working and paying taxes is great, but you have your head in a cloud if you think that means you are or should be 'entitled' to whatever treatment you feel you need.
Every day there are plans discussed to move or merge specialist units or even close specialst units... to save money. When hospitals are forced to take such action becuase the pot is empty people die....... including babies. Given the choice I am sure any parent who could pay to save their baby's life would... but they don't have that choice.
People have the choice to pay for IVF.... I believe they should exercise that right rather than demand the NHS pay.
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"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise.
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting.
I bet you wouldn't have that stance or attitude if you or one of your family members needed life saving or prolonging treatment but were told sorry its to expensive because we are offering Ivf and cosmetic surgery to everyone. It's not life threatening so should not be funded by the nhs. "
Again another comparison that just does not stand now grouping IVF and cosmetic surgery together again are people here for real.
I bet everyone with these negative _iews either don't have children or don't want them |
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"
Didn't know it was this difficult to adopt.
its very hard to adopt
They can pull up criminal records that have been cleared
If you commit a crime before the age of 18 after 3 years its cleared, so if you went for a CRB when you was say 35 to work in a care home you would have a clear record so long as you was well behaved after the age of 18 of course, if your adopting then they can go into old records that usually arnt shown, and if theres anything on there at all your rejected, so something as daft as being a idiot at 14 and going into boots and pinching a lipstick as a dare wth your mates will stop you, even tho 20 years on you've grown up, got a good job and wouldnt dream of doing such a thing"
They do with CRB checks for working with children in schools - your CRB check will show, for instance, a shoplifting conviction at, say, 15. I think most people (thankfully) then would take the sensible _iew as to whether that would present a problem with working in a school in your 20s/ 30s etc if everything else since was fine.
Sadly to foster or adopt you have to jump through so many hoops it rules out many - who are, of course, allowed to have as many children of their own as they want (if they're able to) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise.
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting.
I bet you wouldn't have that stance or attitude if you or one of your family members needed life saving or prolonging treatment but were told sorry its to expensive because we are offering Ivf and cosmetic surgery to everyone. It's not life threatening so should not be funded by the nhs.
Again another comparison that just does not stand now grouping IVF and cosmetic surgery together again are people here for real.
I bet everyone with these negative _iews either don't have children or don't want them "
Yes I am for real. I really don't know what planet you live on we're you think there is a endless supply of cash for all these treatments that people want not need!! Yes that's right it is some thing they want they do not need to have children to live so it shouldn't be funded. But know its alright you want it so we will let this person die earlier than need be because we can't afford the treatment just so you can have some thing that you WANT!!
We'll you bet wrong as I have 2 children. The point is that money is wasted on things like cosmetic surgery and Ivf when they could be used to save someone's life or prolong it but you've ignored that point |
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"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise.
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting.
I am for real and I do have a grip.
If someone can't afford to save a few grand a year, then can they really afford kids?
Working and paying taxes is great, but you have your head in a cloud if you think that means you are or should be 'entitled' to whatever treatment you feel you need.
Every day there are plans discussed to move or merge specialist units or even close specialst units... to save money. When hospitals are forced to take such action becuase the pot is empty people die....... including babies. Given the choice I am sure any parent who could pay to save their baby's life would... but they don't have that choice.
People have the choice to pay for IVF.... I believe they should exercise that right rather than demand the NHS pay.
"
It's not only a few grand ... A round of IVF starts at £4000 depending on your health authority some up to £8000 many couples need more than one round... Considering its normally ladies 30 plus that undergo treatment and the NHS but a time limit on it so you do the maths that not all people have them time to try then fail save for a year etc then try again
Until you have been in the position then I'm sorry but you will never grasp an understand of how frustrating it is.
People only have a choice to pay IVF as the government won't full fund it yet they will happily fund treatment for drug addicts etc whole systems stinks to me... They should try capping people's be benefits who pop out 5,6,8 even 11 kids as per the papers right now and use some of this to give other people the chance of just the one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise.
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting.
I bet you wouldn't have that stance or attitude if you or one of your family members needed life saving or prolonging treatment but were told sorry its to expensive because we are offering Ivf and cosmetic surgery to everyone. It's not life threatening so should not be funded by the nhs.
Again another comparison that just does not stand now grouping IVF and cosmetic surgery together again are people here for real.
I bet everyone with these negative _iews either don't have children or don't want them
Yes I am for real. I really don't know what planet you live on we're you think there is a endless supply of cash for all these treatments that people want not need!! Yes that's right it is some thing they want they do not need to have children to live so it shouldn't be funded. But know its alright you want it so we will let this person die earlier than need be because we can't afford the treatment just so you can have some thing that you WANT!!
We'll you bet wrong as I have 2 children. The point is that money is wasted on things like cosmetic surgery and Ivf when they could be used to save someone's life or prolong it but you've ignored that point
Have I ignored that point?? No!!
Read my posts at no point have I said that people with life threatening treatments should get it because I may need IVF... The point is anyone who needs treatment for anything that affects then physically or mentally should be allowed it and not made to pay and I'm sorry as a parent you will never understand how this feels"
I do kind of understand how it feels to not be able to have kids. Which I'm not going in to on here.
My point is that you are not going to die from not having Ivf so the funds should be used for life saving treatment over Ivf were having a child is something you want |
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I have 4 children and conceived all relatively easily and had relatively trouble free pregnancies.
However, my younger sister has had 5 pregnancies, none lasting longer than 20 weeks. I'd dearly love her to become a mum - I can see it tears her up when a younger relative has a child, sometimes unplanned. She's having investigations on the nhs and a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic in London - it seems donor eggs may be an option.
However, much as I'd love her to have a child and am truly grateful that she is receiving the treatment, I'm still not convinced that having a child is everyone's basic right and that options to assist a pregnancy should be funded by the nhs. And I do appreciate that the hunger and inability to easily have a child can cause severe mental stress and other issues and that these also require treatment
BUT - I still would prefer the money to go on cancer treatments and the like than on ivf or similar. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't believe IVF should be offered on the NHS,, I think NHS should be avaqilable for life-threatening or painful conditions...I realise not having a baby can be mentally painful for some but feel that physical pain should override that...there seems tobe children that could be adopted and I'd suggest that as an alternative unless you can afford to go for IVF
Are you for real? Do you have children? Cos someone who can't have them would never say such a narrow minded thing.
I can't have children and even IVF won't help but my god it it would i would hope I would be eligible to have this on the NHS...not having children when every urge and fibre in your body screams out to have them is physically painful not just mentally...I go through every day with a gut wrenching heart roping pain knowing I will never experience the joy of my own child.... Your _iew amazes me so if I self inflict liver disease from drinking too much or heart disease from eating too much as that is self inflicted am I eligible for NHS treatment too??
I pay my taxes etc as every other person and see no reason why a round of IVF shoukd not be available if it gives me the chance to have what should happen naturally and from no fault of my own isn't.
As for adoption being an alternative... Nothing will replace never holding a baby in my arms that I have created, grown and nurtured... There isn't an alternative to this.
Such and inconsiderate and Cruel thing to say I hope you are never cursed with so raging beyond your control and be told that nobody can help you as your not in 'physical' pain.... What a joke!!!!"
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By *artsnikCouple
over a year ago
wortley |
"I would like all the women who have posted in this thread who have been able to conceive naturally and have their own babies to think about what their lives would have been like without them.
I guess this thread is split in two because there's some of us who know we'll need IVF or who have had IVF and some women who are blessed (and I use that word carefully) with having children naturally without the need for medical intervention.
Count your blessings when you hug your children."
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"The NHS isn't a bottomless cash pit and I see no reason why the NHS should fund IVF treatment for every Tom, Dickanny and Harriet.
People face being refused life saving drugs and treatment every day because choices must be made about what will and will not be funded.
For every IVF treatment funded by the NHS, someone else must go without the treatment they need.
Kids cost money.... so saving for the treatment will be good practise.
Are you for real? Get a grip will you!.So why should we go without treatment then to let som one else have it.That what your saying eh,,why should we get IVF to be allowed a chance to become a parent and keep out generations going, just so some junkie or the likes can have treatment.I dont think so!..
And for the comment that we should pay fot it.Really? So every body with a conditions should pay for treatment then? What about the mother with 11 children,Thats allowed because she can have them naturally.REALLY!. I work and pay taxes therefore I should be entitled to have IVF funded for me and not have to pay private.
I have had painful surgeries on my tubes and womb to help but hey who cares that I suffer eh as long as others get treatment for dug addictions or the likes the sod those who will be exellent mothers but not allowed because society creates people like you!
disgusting.
I bet you wouldn't have that stance or attitude if you or one of your family members needed life saving or prolonging treatment but were told sorry its to expensive because we are offering Ivf and cosmetic surgery to everyone. It's not life threatening so should not be funded by the nhs.
Again another comparison that just does not stand now grouping IVF and cosmetic surgery together again are people here for real.
I bet everyone with these negative _iews either don't have children or don't want them
Yes I am for real. I really don't know what planet you live on we're you think there is a endless supply of cash for all these treatments that people want not need!! Yes that's right it is some thing they want they do not need to have children to live so it shouldn't be funded. But know its alright you want it so we will let this person die earlier than need be because we can't afford the treatment just so you can have some thing that you WANT!!
We'll you bet wrong as I have 2 children. The point is that money is wasted on things like cosmetic surgery and Ivf when they could be used to save someone's life or prolong it but you've ignored that point
Have I ignored that point?? No!!
Read my posts at no point have I said that people with life threatening treatments should get it because I may need IVF... The point is anyone who needs treatment for anything that affects then physically or mentally should be allowed it and not made to pay and I'm sorry as a parent you will never understand how this feels
I do kind of understand how it feels to not be able to have kids. Which I'm not going in to on here.
My point is that you are not going to die from not having Ivf so the funds should be used for life saving treatment over Ivf were having a child is something you want "
Ok so I want to drink myself stupid, I want to take drugs until I'm off my face I choose to do this until such an extend I have liver failure would I get treated for free? Damn right I have as even though I made that choice to poison and harm myself that's ok for me to be a drain on resources but not the childless woman who doesn't drink or take drugs just has an overwhelming natural need to have children to the point that her mental health has now been affected her relationship may have been affected the list is endless how this effects people... Mentally and physically but as its not life threatening I can't be treated.... People with drepression etc arent technically suffering from a life threatening disease but do we refuse to treat them also...the wisdom tooth my dentist can't remove isn't life threatening and I'm referred to the hospital again do I pay?
If your argument is to stand you are saying the only people who shoukd get NHS free treatment are the ones who's health problem is life threatening... So every other health problem no matter how big or small unless it will cause your death you should pay for it .. No? Exactly but as soon as it come to such an emotive subject of being given free assistance to have a child people object
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To foster or adopt is a long hard process, even then you may not get accepted. My parents fostered , teenagers that a lot of people didn't want. I think everyone should be allowed 1 free treatment of IVF,it shouldn't be a postcode lottery. I can't imagine the mental angrish it must cause some couples who would love a baby and can't conceive naturaly. |
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"To foster or adopt is a long hard process, even then you may not get accepted. My parents fostered , teenagers that a lot of people didn't want. I think everyone should be allowed 1 free treatment of IVF,it shouldn't be a postcode lottery. I can't imagine the mental angrish it must cause some couples who would love a baby and can't conceive naturaly. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The main cost concern with this isn't the initial IVF treatment itself, but the birth, medical care and subsequent medical treatment of both mother and baby. Over 39 years old birth-related physical and mental health problems increase significantly (stats from The Lancet). I have no problem with en-masse IVF treatment, but I think the NHS will suffer hugely when the first generations are born. |
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Lets face it there's never gonna be a definitive right way to resolve this situation but theres also a lot of misconceptions running through this thread. As someone who has gone through years of infertility, one round of ivf (yes paid for by the nhs), then went on to adopt a beautiful baby and now work in the adoption and fostering field I pretty much have a handle on the whole situation!!
I agree it's not a right to have a child but a choice but having that choice is taken away is difficult to deal with particularly when society expect that by a certain age a women should have had a child and almost everyone asks when your going to have one!!
Ivf should be free but there has to be some restrictions put in place such as age etc and even possibly means tested. Infertility is a medical condition and the nhs treats all medical conditions not just life saving ones. If you broke your arm you'd expect the nhs to treat it but if they didn't it won't kill you!!
Adoption isn't as hard as imagined. You don't have to be perfect to adopt as I certainly aren't and a cleared debt from many years ago wouldn't stop an application. If certainly be questioning this and going to the IRM if necessary!
Fostering isn't as rigid as made out either. Men not being able to bathe a child is ludicrous!! I have single male carers and have had homosexual carers they certainly were allowed to give personal care to the children in their care!!! Also a fostered child is able to leave the uk with the consent of the local authority as long as it doesn't exceed 30 days!!
Lets all just have our own opinions without resorting to personal insults |
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"Lets face it there's never gonna be a definitive right way to resolve this situation but theres also a lot of misconceptions running through this thread. As someone who has gone through years of infertility, one round of ivf (yes paid for by the nhs), then went on to adopt a beautiful baby and now work in the adoption and fostering field I pretty much have a handle on the whole situation!!
I agree it's not a right to have a child but a choice but having that choice is taken away is difficult to deal with particularly when society expect that by a certain age a women should have had a child and almost everyone asks when your going to have one!!
Ivf should be free but there has to be some restrictions put in place such as age etc and even possibly means tested. Infertility is a medical condition and the nhs treats all medical conditions not just life saving ones. If you broke your arm you'd expect the nhs to treat it but if they didn't it won't kill you!!
Adoption isn't as hard as imagined. You don't have to be perfect to adopt as I certainly aren't and a cleared debt from many years ago wouldn't stop an application. If certainly be questioning this and going to the IRM if necessary!
Fostering isn't as rigid as made out either. Men not being able to bathe a child is ludicrous!! I have single male carers and have had homosexual carers they certainly were allowed to give personal care to the children in their care!!! Also a fostered child is able to leave the uk with the consent of the local authority as long as it doesn't exceed 30 days!!
Lets all just have our own opinions without resorting to personal insults "
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"Well seeings as my child is an IVF baby I can't say I'm against it, my child is my world and anyone who goes through IVF will know how hard it is
As for adoption cos of my work I couldn't, people seem to think you put your name down for a baby and wow the next day it is there waiting for you, my family has a lot to do with social services and believe me it's not easy, going through the foster process was tough on its own
Having said that I do believe that when you reach an age for the health of mum and baby there should be limits, there are so many children in care that need families, and it breaks my heart to see that it is all made so hard
Sj
My 4 year old daughter was an IUI baby and took us 6 years to get her. As for adoption we looked at that but I admitted I could never love the child 100% because it wasn't my biological child, this make me sound selfish or horrible but thats how I felt at the time."
its not being selfish, its being honest |
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"Well seeings as my child is an IVF baby I can't say I'm against it, my child is my world and anyone who goes through IVF will know how hard it is
As for adoption cos of my work I couldn't, people seem to think you put your name down for a baby and wow the next day it is there waiting for you, my family has a lot to do with social services and believe me it's not easy, going through the foster process was tough on its own
Having said that I do believe that when you reach an age for the health of mum and baby there should be limits, there are so many children in care that need families, and it breaks my heart to see that it is all made so hard
Sj
My 4 year old daughter was an IUI baby and took us 6 years to get her. As for adoption we looked at that but I admitted I could never love the child 100% because it wasn't my biological child, this make me sound selfish or horrible but thats how I felt at the time. its not being selfish, its being honest"
I agree and you have to be completely honest with yourself when looking into adoption or its not going to work. It's not the easy option and it never goes away but I can hand on heart say that I love my daughter no less than if I'd given birth to her. She is my daughter and biology doesn't make that love but time does. Many parents don't live their child immediately it's a bond that's built up and the same thing happens after adopting a child too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lets face it there's never gonna be a definitive right way to resolve this situation but theres also a lot of misconceptions running through this thread. As someone who has gone through years of infertility, one round of ivf (yes paid for by the nhs), then went on to adopt a beautiful baby and now work in the adoption and fostering field I pretty much have a handle on the whole situation!!
I agree it's not a right to have a child but a choice but having that choice is taken away is difficult to deal with particularly when society expect that by a certain age a women should have had a child and almost everyone asks when your going to have one!!
Ivf should be free but there has to be some restrictions put in place such as age etc and even possibly means tested. Infertility is a medical condition and the nhs treats all medical conditions not just life saving ones. If you broke your arm you'd expect the nhs to treat it but if they didn't it won't kill you!!
Adoption isn't as hard as imagined. You don't have to be perfect to adopt as I certainly aren't and a cleared debt from many years ago wouldn't stop an application. If certainly be questioning this and going to the IRM if necessary!
Fostering isn't as rigid as made out either. Men not being able to bathe a child is ludicrous!! I have single male carers and have had homosexual carers they certainly were allowed to give personal care to the children in their care!!! Also a fostered child is able to leave the uk with the consent of the local authority as long as it doesn't exceed 30 days!!
Lets all just have our own opinions without resorting to personal insults "
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Technology has given us choices that were once unheard of. One of those choices is to delay having children until later in life, through contraception. The age that many women now start trying for children has gone up and so if there are problems conceiving the investigations start much later.
It is emotionally very hard to want children and not be able to have them. It's hard seeing people pop them out like shelling peas and judge that those people don't deserve the children they have (for whatever reason).
Yes, I have managed to conceive without IVF in the past. Yes, I have given birth. I don't have any living children. When I looked at IVF I decided that the uncertainty and expense was not worth it for me or as a cost to the NHS. I was below 40 then and went through the counselling for IVF. That helped me to see that it would raise my hopes at the same time as stretching my capacity to manage the stress and the loss I could feel if IVF was unsuccessful could well be worse for me than learning to live with the loss I always feel at not being a mother.
I am not suggesting that would be the same for everyone. I am suggesting that we need to look at reproduction and fertility in a different way now. Young women should be taught to manage their reproductive health. We should be checking for potential problems earlier and then the choices can be made earlier. Or, you take the "leave it to nature" approach and don't intervene at all.
It's called the National Health Service but we are fast getting to the point where it can't cope with health and will have to be seen as the National Sickness Service.
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already!
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up
If one can't qualify to adopt, should they qualify for IVF then?
well the thing is they are more strict on how you bring up other peoples kids than they are your own
A good friends of mine fosters and her husband isnt allowed to bath the kids, change them etc, even tho hes had a CRB and has no criminal record at all, so i suppose you clould say if men who foster cant bath foster kids why are they allowed to bath their own?
its a very touchy subject"
men aren't allowed to bathe girls in general. if a male foster carer isn't allowed to bathe a boy, then there is usually history to that child that means a male bathing him could be harmful or upsetting.
the rules also vary slightly between adopting through your Local Council or an agency (agencies are usually stricter.... go figure?!?!) |
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"
Having children is a blessing, not an automatic right and, yes, in an ideal world there should be funds available to help everyone that wants it..however this is not an ideal world.
do you really believe that?
We was designed to be instinctive impulsive and violent. Doesn't mean it's my right to walk around half naked with a club grunting
NHS isn't funded endlessly so tough choices have to be made. Give IVF or save 2 children from a heart defect.
There is NO winner.I do however think the middle ground here is ONE round of IVF treatment should be offered free, but no more.
lets strip this down to basic's, we are born to reproduce and die, end of, thats our basics on life, having children isnt a blessing its what we are designed to do to keep the population going
Maybe not being abale to have kids is natures way of saying there is something wrong here?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Amazes me how people compare IVF to laser eye surgery hardly in the same league.
"
I think it's a very valid thing to compare IVF to. I've been short sighted since I was 8. In the 32 years since then it has cost me, my parents and the NHS a fair bit of cash in checkups and medical correction i.e.glasses/contacts.
Without that treatment my quality of life would be awful and I wouldn't have a job and everything would be difficult, as everything is blurred at a distance of 3 metres or more. Having it would save me money in the long run on lenses also.
So given that, why isn't laser eye surgery available on the NHS but IVF is?
Ok, not having a baby naturally might be psychologically damaging, but there are alternatives and it won't directly stop you working or having a normal life in every other respect.
Now as much as I'd like laser surgery I don't think it should be available either. It's a cosmetic thing mainly, like boob jobs. Which I also don't agree with using public money.
So I'd be confident to say that my permanent eye condition trumps the need for IVF, particularly when there are plenty of unloved children waiting for parents. So instead of demanding free conception, demand a better system of adoption and fostering perhaps? |
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So many people think fostering and adoption is an alternative.... Not everyone can adopt or Foster this isn't always a well if you can concieve adopt scenario
Sorry no I don't compare IVF to laser eye surgery... If you don't have laser eye surgery hopefully you will always be able to correct you sight with glasses at a much less considerable cost... I wish someone could say to pay a £30 consultation fee and £150 for a medication etc and this will correctly my fertility issues.... The money accept is miles apart |
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"Another drain on the NHS. Too many people on the planet already. If they're desperate for kids... adopt
At least, the adoptable kids have been born already!
the problem with adoption is its very hard, there are very strict laws on who can and cant adopt and even if you pass them the chances of getting a baby is slim
people say adopt like you can just walk into a shop and pick a baby up
If one can't qualify to adopt, should they qualify for IVF then?"
When you fall pregnant naturally you don't have to prove yourself to anyone... To adopt you go through a lengthy process including looking into your finances etc do natural parents have to do that??? To qualify for IVF free or paid for again you have to meet criteria be under a certain weight and age etc again something that does apply to natural parents... The IVF process is hard enough without being put through the same checks as adoption |
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First of all, as I well know, it doesn't matter a jot what NICE recommend for fertility services, the PCT's just ignore it so you're all getting your knickers in a twist over nothing.
Second of all, there have been some frankly appalling statements in here, mainly from women who have popped out several children without a second thought. Those women stating that the world is over populated as it is - didn't give a fig when opening their legs themselves and popping out one after the other without a thought, yet expect other women to take the flack for their choice to overpopulate.
Thirdly to those saying "just adopt". Easy for you to say. We don't WANT to adopt. We desperately want our own child. So desperately, that we're about to put ourselves through a clinical trial to get a free round of IVF. YES we're saving but that £8k doesn't come easy or quickly these days, especially when time isn't on your side (as is the case many a time with couples who need IVF).
The fact is, whether you agree with it or not, it's there and it's available. Just like fat people who get diabetes treatment for the rest of their lives or gastric bands, drinkers get new livers after drinking themselves almost to death and smokers get operations to save their lives after smoking themselves half to death.
Those here who have commented negatively, better not smoke, be fat or drink because those in glass houses..... |
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"First of all, as I well know, it doesn't matter a jot what NICE recommend for fertility services, the PCT's just ignore it so you're all getting your knickers in a twist over nothing.
Second of all, there have been some frankly appalling statements in here, mainly from women who have popped out several children without a second thought. Those women stating that the world is over populated as it is - didn't give a fig when opening their legs themselves and popping out one after the other without a thought, yet expect other women to take the flack for their choice to overpopulate.
Thirdly to those saying "just adopt". Easy for you to say. We don't WANT to adopt. We desperately want our own child. So desperately, that we're about to put ourselves through a clinical trial to get a free round of IVF. YES we're saving but that £8k doesn't come easy or quickly these days, especially when time isn't on your side (as is the case many a time with couples who need IVF).
The fact is, whether you agree with it or not, it's there and it's available. Just like fat people who get diabetes treatment for the rest of their lives or gastric bands, drinkers get new livers after drinking themselves almost to death and smokers get operations to save their lives after smoking themselves half to death.
Those here who have commented negatively, better not smoke, be fat or drink because those in glass houses....."
Well said!!! I'd kiss you if I could lol  |
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By *arl828Man
over a year ago
warrington, Cheshire |
"First of all, as I well know, it doesn't matter a jot what NICE recommend for fertility services, the PCT's just ignore it so you're all getting your knickers in a twist over nothing.
Second of all, there have been some frankly appalling statements in here, mainly from women who have popped out several children without a second thought. Those women stating that the world is over populated as it is - didn't give a fig when opening their legs themselves and popping out one after the other without a thought, yet expect other women to take the flack for their choice to overpopulate.
Thirdly to those saying "just adopt". Easy for you to say. We don't WANT to adopt. We desperately want our own child. So desperately, that we're about to put ourselves through a clinical trial to get a free round of IVF. YES we're saving but that £8k doesn't come easy or quickly these days, especially when time isn't on your side (as is the case many a time with couples who need IVF).
The fact is, whether you agree with it or not, it's there and it's available. Just like fat people who get diabetes treatment for the rest of their lives or gastric bands, drinkers get new livers after drinking themselves almost to death and smokers get operations to save their lives after smoking themselves half to death.
Those here who have commented negatively, better not smoke, be fat or drink because those in glass houses....."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many people think fostering and adoption is an alternative.... Not everyone can adopt or Foster this isn't always a well if you can concieve adopt scenario
Sorry no I don't compare IVF to laser eye surgery... If you don't have laser eye surgery hopefully you will always be able to correct you sight with glasses at a much less considerable cost... I wish someone could say to pay a £30 consultation fee and £150 for a medication etc and this will correctly my fertility issues.... The money accept is miles apart "
I don't think there's a difference in the scenarios at all. You are taking the emotional aspect of childlessness and using that to elevate your condition above mine, that's all. You have a medical condition the same as me that affects your life. In a day to day way probably less than mine affects me.
It's time we stopped asking "why can't we have more children?", and started asking wether we should?
As I said earlier, instead of being desperate to give your love to your own child, try giving it to an unloved one that's already here. And if you can't then campaign for a fairer adoption system. Everyone seems desperate for someone to do something about all their problems, but no-one actually wants to do the work themselves.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And financially in the 22 years I've been wearing glasses/lenses, and in the years still to come, the amount of money I'll have paid out in eyecare is huge. Probably enough for a few rounds of IVF. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And financially in the 22 years I've been wearing glasses/lenses, and in the years still to come, the amount of money I'll have paid out in eyecare is huge. Probably enough for a few rounds of IVF. "
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"So many people think fostering and adoption is an alternative.... Not everyone can adopt or Foster this isn't always a well if you can concieve adopt scenario
Sorry no I don't compare IVF to laser eye surgery... If you don't have laser eye surgery hopefully you will always be able to correct you sight with glasses at a much less considerable cost... I wish someone could say to pay a £30 consultation fee and £150 for a medication etc and this will correctly my fertility issues.... The money accept is miles apart
I don't think there's a difference in the scenarios at all. You are taking the emotional aspect of childlessness and using that to elevate your condition above mine, that's all. You have a medical condition the same as me that affects your life. In a day to day way probably less than mine affects me.
It's time we stopped asking "why can't we have more children?", and started asking wether we should?
As I said earlier, instead of being desperate to give your love to your own child, try giving it to an unloved one that's already here. And if you can't then campaign for a fairer adoption system. Everyone seems desperate for someone to do something about all their problems, but no-one actually wants to do the work themselves.
"
It's time we asked shoukd we be having more children? So because other are irresponsible enough to pop them out year after year I should forgo having one to control the population
As I have said adoption is not always an answer for many different reasons.
Desperate about someone to sort my problems? Believe me If I could resolve this situation alone I would
My condition effects me less than your day to day? How wrong I wear glasses and don't see that as a burden and does not affect my daily life at all however the physical condition that prevents me from having children even with medication is very painful plus that pain is a daily reminder of what that illness has caused... See children everywhere, adverts aimed at families ,friends and family have endless babies with no problem is a fail pain that unless you are childless from no choice you will NEVER understand the agony that causes everyday all the fine having to put a brave face on it as round the corner are people like you with opnions on something they have no idea about abd as someone who also needs glasses to see correctly sorry it doesn't compare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think comparing medical conditions is something that only upsets people. I wear glasses and have a fertility issue and if I don't wear my glasses things are fuzzy. If I don't take my medication then I'm in severe pain and I would probably end up with a colostomy bag.
They both affect me in different ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think comparing medical conditions is something that only upsets people. I wear glasses and have a fertility issue and if I don't wear my glasses things are fuzzy. If I don't take my medication then I'm in severe pain and I would probably end up with a colostomy bag.
They both affect me in different ways. "
I used it initially to try and make the point that infertility is alot like short sightedness, in that it's not life threatening or a condition that will impact on the quality of life. That's why laser eye surgery isn't available on the NHS, and why IVF may be but in limited cases for a limited number of tries.
I refuse to let myself be emotionally blackmailled into not having an opinion on something that my NI contributions and taxes are paying for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a child who was conceived naturally but after that I had six miscarriages so I can understand the need some women feel to have a child and the pain of not being able to do so
I feel that science shouldn't mess with the 'normal' life cycle of a body ie if you are of an age when conceiving naturally would never happen normally then IVF should not be an option
I also believe that as two lesbians would never ever naturally conceive then if they really want a child they should pay for IVF |
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I remember a debate on another forum a few years back about a news article: a couple who were both addicts on methadone being approved for NHS funded IVF. Now then, if they can get through the selction process for funding approval, do I really think the treatment should be opened up to more people?
Do I fuck! |
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I'm not going to post anything more in this thread as banging head off brick wall.
Simply put people with children or those who for one reason or another will never understand the urge to Carry your own child.
While I still have a breath in my body I do believe people should be given a round of ivf that's not dependant on certain criteria... And I will never ever compare my fertility issues to being short sighted... Come along to one of my fertility support groups voice that opnion number 1 I would bet people don't have the balls to come and voice such opnions and Number 2 after speaking to medical staff and people rhat have fertility problems lostening yo their opnions i don't think you would leave with the same opnion |
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i remember a few days ago reading this thread at about 9 am in the morning .. i was phyisically crying for the pain that I could feel from childless couples who so wanted children but for what ever reason couldnt concieve. Whilst this is not a physical medical ailment like cancer .. from reading the thread, I have come to realise that it can impact on your life in a huge way and have life changing consequences such as marriages breaking up over it .. so does it have a place in the nhs .. for lots of people who are affected by it .. yes ! |
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"i remember a few days ago reading this thread at about 9 am in the morning .. i was phyisically crying for the pain that I could feel from childless couples who so wanted children but for what ever reason couldnt concieve. Whilst this is not a physical medical ailment like cancer .. from reading the thread, I have come to realise that it can impact on your life in a huge way and have life changing consequences such as marriages breaking up over it .. so does it have a place in the nhs .. for lots of people who are affected by it .. yes ! "
I'm glad at least one person has come to realise how this effects people xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i remember a few days ago reading this thread at about 9 am in the morning .. i was phyisically crying for the pain that I could feel from childless couples who so wanted children but for what ever reason couldnt concieve. Whilst this is not a physical medical ailment like cancer .. from reading the thread, I have come to realise that it can impact on your life in a huge way and have life changing consequences such as marriages breaking up over it .. so does it have a place in the nhs .. for lots of people who are affected by it .. yes ! "
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"I'm not going to post anything more in this thread as banging head off brick wall.
Simply put people with children or those who for one reason or another will never understand the urge to Carry your own child.
While I still have a breath in my body I do believe people should be given a round of ivf that's not dependant on certain criteria... And I will never ever compare my fertility issues to being short sighted... Come along to one of my fertility support groups voice that opnion number 1 I would bet people don't have the balls to come and voice such opnions and Number 2 after speaking to medical staff and people rhat have fertility problems lostening yo their opnions i don't think you would leave with the same opnion "
I can understand the 'urge' and that the urge will be different for different people.
It is not that I don't empathise, I simply feel IVF should not be funded by the NHS as standard practice.
IVF is available privately, so non-funding by the NHS isn't a dead end.
Medical treatments will continue to advance and as they do more and more choices about what is and isn't funded will need to be made.... because the money pot is getting smaller.
I worked with a guy who had a heart condition... he didn't drink or smoke and looked after himself. After several date changes for him to go into hospital they eventually told him they had run out of money and all operations (of the kind he needed) were cancelled until the new financial year. He died a matter of weeks before his operation. He left behind a family, a wife, children.
This is the reality of the NHS.
I wouldn't go as far as saying people feeling they should be 'entitled' to IVF on the NHS are being selfish, but they are certainly not looking beyond their own bubble.
Would anyone want to go and tell someone else's child why IVF treatment is a higher priority than saving their parent's life?
I'd sooner face the support group any day of the week.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not going to post anything more in this thread as banging head off brick wall.
Simply put people with children or those who for one reason or another will never understand the urge to Carry your own child.
While I still have a breath in my body I do believe people should be given a round of ivf that's not dependant on certain criteria... And I will never ever compare my fertility issues to being short sighted... Come along to one of my fertility support groups voice that opnion number 1 I would bet people don't have the balls to come and voice such opnions and Number 2 after speaking to medical staff and people rhat have fertility problems lostening yo their opnions i don't think you would leave with the same opnion
I can understand the 'urge' and that the urge will be different for different people.
It is not that I don't empathise, I simply feel IVF should not be funded by the NHS as standard practice.
IVF is available privately, so non-funding by the NHS isn't a dead end.
Medical treatments will continue to advance and as they do more and more choices about what is and isn't funded will need to be made.... because the money pot is getting smaller.
I worked with a guy who had a heart condition... he didn't drink or smoke and looked after himself. After several date changes for him to go into hospital they eventually told him they had run out of money and all operations (of the kind he needed) were cancelled until the new financial year. He died a matter of weeks before his operation. He left behind a family, a wife, children.
This is the reality of the NHS.
I wouldn't go as far as saying people feeling they should be 'entitled' to IVF on the NHS are being selfish, but they are certainly not looking beyond their own bubble.
Would anyone want to go and tell someone else's child why IVF treatment is a higher priority than saving their parent's life?
I'd sooner face the support group any day of the week.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a bloke i do not feel qualified to comment on how strong the female need want or desire to have children is.
What i do feel is its easy to criticise folk who are outside society normal ages without taking into the above into account |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not going to post anything more in this thread as banging head off brick wall.
Simply put people with children or those who for one reason or another will never understand the urge to Carry your own child.
While I still have a breath in my body I do believe people should be given a round of ivf that's not dependant on certain criteria... And I will never ever compare my fertility issues to being short sighted... Come along to one of my fertility support groups voice that opnion number 1 I would bet people don't have the balls to come and voice such opnions and Number 2 after speaking to medical staff and people rhat have fertility problems lostening yo their opnions i don't think you would leave with the same opnion "
I understand completely what you're saying, right from the heart. But I don't think 'people should be be given a round of IVF that's not dependant on certain criteria'.
If there was a bottomless pit of money for the NHS there wouldn't be an issue. But there just isn't enough money.
It's not just IVF, it's weight loss operations, cosmetic surgery etc that I think the NHS should be cutting back on and saving money on. |
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To the people on this thread male or female who have children tell me how you would feel watching your daughter go through the physical and mental pain with fertility problems we suffer from.... Or think what your life woukd be like if you hadn't been blessed with those children to begin with.... I bet the majority of you find that hard to think about then maybe you might just grasp how we feel.
I'm not saying that IVF should be available to all but the current post code lottery is a joke... My friend who lives 30 miles away can have two rounds in the NHS when other areas don't get one... How is this fair? If your comments are to be believed it should be one rule for all... If they have to charge for it so be it but the price of £8000 a go is out of many people's reach in this current climate.
You know what gets me more?? I suffer from back ache due to large breasts my doctors solution was to offer me a reduction on the NHS after I nearly choked and asked Instead of this can they use that funding for my IVF they tell be it isn't possible so I can have a boob job at thousands of ponds but not something that would make a real difference
Yes people who are affected by the NHS cuts don't deserve that and I feel for them but I don't deserve my health condition either and I feel that if I can be offered a boob job so freely the system stinks when it won't help me have the child I so long for.... Reading these threads I know many of you have children and grandchildren and you are so blessed I am a single child... One of my parents is a single child so have a very small family... When the pass and I'm left with no family and no legacy to continue those are the days I dread the most. I do not feel I am asking to much for just one helping hand to have a child if it dioesnt work so be it but at least I know I have done all that can be done I'm not demanding endless attempts until I reach that dream just one attempt I don't feel is a lot to ask...the NHS are so quick to offer cosmetic procedures as long as they can pass then off for medical reasons, spending millions on obesity, drug addicts and alcohol dependency all of which are self inflicted yet they aren't expected to pay for their treatment that continues for years... A few have raised points about having a say about how you national insurance is spent I would rather my contributions went on fertility and other health problems then self inflicted illness from booze or drugs plus then my tax that it topping up their benefit to keep themselves supplied with the booze....not many seem concerned about that tho
So many people take children and the family that brings for granted.... When you next kiss or hug you child hold then extra closely and thank god for what you have been blessed with and that you will never have to feel our pain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not going to post anything more in this thread as banging head off brick wall.
Simply put people with children or those who for one reason or another will never understand the urge to Carry your own child.
While I still have a breath in my body I do believe people should be given a round of ivf that's not dependant on certain criteria... And I will never ever compare my fertility issues to being short sighted... Come along to one of my fertility support groups voice that opnion number 1 I would bet people don't have the balls to come and voice such opnions and Number 2 after speaking to medical staff and people rhat have fertility problems lostening yo their opnions i don't think you would leave with the same opnion
I can understand the 'urge' and that the urge will be different for different people.
It is not that I don't empathise, I simply feel IVF should not be funded by the NHS as standard practice.
IVF is available privately, so non-funding by the NHS isn't a dead end.
Medical treatments will continue to advance and as they do more and more choices about what is and isn't funded will need to be made.... because the money pot is getting smaller.
I worked with a guy who had a heart condition... he didn't drink or smoke and looked after himself. After several date changes for him to go into hospital they eventually told him they had run out of money and all operations (of the kind he needed) were cancelled until the new financial year. He died a matter of weeks before his operation. He left behind a family, a wife, children.
This is the reality of the NHS.
I wouldn't go as far as saying people feeling they should be 'entitled' to IVF on the NHS are being selfish, but they are certainly not looking beyond their own bubble.
Would anyone want to go and tell someone else's child why IVF treatment is a higher priority than saving their parent's life?
I'd sooner face the support group any day of the week.
"
Well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think comparing medical conditions is something that only upsets people. I wear glasses and have a fertility issue and if I don't wear my glasses things are fuzzy. If I don't take my medication then I'm in severe pain and I would probably end up with a colostomy bag.
They both affect me in different ways.
I used it initially to try and make the point that infertility is alot like short sightedness, in that it's not life threatening or a condition that will impact on the quality of life. That's why laser eye surgery isn't available on the NHS, and why IVF may be but in limited cases for a limited number of tries.
I refuse to let myself be emotionally blackmailled into not having an opinion on something that my NI contributions and taxes are paying for. "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think comparing medical conditions is something that only upsets people. I wear glasses and have a fertility issue and if I don't wear my glasses things are fuzzy. If I don't take my medication then I'm in severe pain and I would probably end up with a colostomy bag.
They both affect me in different ways.
I used it initially to try and make the point that infertility is alot like short sightedness, in that it's not life threatening or a condition that will impact on the quality of life. That's why laser eye surgery isn't available on the NHS, and why IVF may be but in limited cases for a limited number of tries.
I refuse to let myself be emotionally blackmailled into not having an opinion on something that my NI contributions and taxes are paying for. "
You didn't last long on here then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To the people on this thread male or female who have children tell me how you would feel watching your daughter go through the physical and mental pain with fertility problems we suffer from.... Or think what your life woukd be like if you hadn't been blessed with those children to begin with.... I bet the majority of you find that hard to think about then maybe you might just grasp how we feel.
I'm not saying that IVF should be available to all but the current post code lottery is a joke... My friend who lives 30 miles away can have two rounds in the NHS when other areas don't get one... How is this fair? If your comments are to be believed it should be one rule for all... If they have to charge for it so be it but the price of £8000 a go is out of many people's reach in this current climate.
You know what gets me more?? I suffer from back ache due to large breasts my doctors solution was to offer me a reduction on the NHS after I nearly choked and asked Instead of this can they use that funding for my IVF they tell be it isn't possible so I can have a boob job at thousands of ponds but not something that would make a real difference
Yes people who are affected by the NHS cuts don't deserve that and I feel for them but I don't deserve my health condition either and I feel that if I can be offered a boob job so freely the system stinks when it won't help me have the child I so long for.... Reading these threads I know many of you have children and grandchildren and you are so blessed I am a single child... One of my parents is a single child so have a very small family... When the pass and I'm left with no family and no legacy to continue those are the days I dread the most. I do not feel I am asking to much for just one helping hand to have a child if it dioesnt work so be it but at least I know I have done all that can be done I'm not demanding endless attempts until I reach that dream just one attempt I don't feel is a lot to ask...the NHS are so quick to offer cosmetic procedures as long as they can pass then off for medical reasons, spending millions on obesity, drug addicts and alcohol dependency all of which are self inflicted yet they aren't expected to pay for their treatment that continues for years... A few have raised points about having a say about how you national insurance is spent I would rather my contributions went on fertility and other health problems then self inflicted illness from booze or drugs plus then my tax that it topping up their benefit to keep themselves supplied with the booze....not many seem concerned about that tho
So many people take children and the family that brings for granted.... When you next kiss or hug you child hold then extra closely and thank god for what you have been blessed with and that you will never have to feel our pain "
This got me thinking... |
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