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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm a bit twisted as a person and have a dark sense of humour. One the best friends I ever made in my life was a Nurse called Debbie. She was a good friends partner and we got on really well, she was about 15 or more years younger than me but she knew Status Quo and laughed at midgets.
We had excellent banter, this story is me revealing a bit of myself and it is sad. I've got Bi-Polar it's managed but it took a long time for me to find how I live with it not how anyone else tells me how to live with, my life I manage, maybe that is a bit reckless and selfish of me but if hadn't rebelled against the suggested path I'd be watch This Morning and eating porridge as a daily routine adding raisins for entertainment.
With Bi-polar it can go into what is called Hypomania, your thinking speeds up, your brain is over closed and it uses all the information in your memory.
If that information is gathered from unlinked and separate sources it can cause so real problems with thoughts. I won't go into it but when the brain is overclocked, the thinking comes first the behaviour and politeness go out the window.
This has had the horrible consequences of damaged relationships, friendships and opportunities throughout my life. There is prejudice there, my best friend Debbie used a term I despise, Window Licker.
When she found out I had a mental illness she was far from a nurse and disowned me, it might be for other reasons but she never talked to me about it. The sad thing is about a year later Debbie was diagnosed with mental health issues, she worked as a Nurse and evethough she was a Spurs fab I loved her like a sister I never had. She worked the pandemic as far as I know and then a mutual friend called me towards the end of lockdown, she decided to end her life and nothing more can be said about that.
It's sad, she was wonderful, funny and true to form an Essex girl.
My name and I think she'd laugh is a tribute to her and the giggles we had at Subversion and other clubs. |
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