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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sowing Your Wild Sod
A kid gets a job in a small department store. On his first
day, the manager shows the kid round, and explains that the
company policy was to sell a product, with a product. The
kid looked confused....so the manager said he would show him
what he meant.
Now, it just so happened that a customer approached the
manager and asked if they sold grass seed. "Certainly",
pointing to the wide range of seed boxes, "and what sort of
lawn mower would you like?"
The customer looked baffled, so
the manager went on "Well, you will sow the grass, the grass
will grow, and you will need a lawn mower to cut it."
"I hadn't thought of that," says the customer, "I'll take
the lawn mower as well then"....and the customer leaves the
store happy.
The manager then looks at the kid and says "Now do you
understand our policy?" to which the kid replies "Yes...it's
good!" Just then, a bloke walks into the store.
The manager says to the kid "Go on, you can deal with this
guy".
So the kid asks the bloke if he can help.
"Yes" replies the guy hesitantly, "Do you sell tampons,
as I need some for my wife..."
"Certainly", pointing to a shelf with tampons etc on it,
"and what sort of lawn mower would you like?"
The customer looked baffled and the manager's face drops,
so the kid went on "Well, the weekend's fucked....you may
as well cut the grass!" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Doctor Checkup
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the
doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen
year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do
you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me
tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He
never missed a season.
But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally
grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor
continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly
bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella,
pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."
"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else
must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor |
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