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I want you to put your hand down.......
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The side or back of your sofa and tell me what's there.
Inspired by me dropping a screw down the back of a customer's sofa, putting my hand down there and pulling out a set of keys they thought they had lost some months ago.
If it's money it's mine  |
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"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea
The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers."
They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried  .
We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ... |
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"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea
The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.
They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .
We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ..."
I once found a live mole in my living room! No sign of a tunnel so I assume it was the cats |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden/Faversham |
"The side or back of your sofa and tell me what's there.
Inspired by me dropping a screw down the back of a customer's sofa, putting my hand down there and pulling out a set of keys they thought they had lost some months ago.
If it's money it's mine "
Mind you don't get stuck like they do in porn movies and find the only way to release yourself is for someone to come and have sex with you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nuts. It’s always my nuts.
Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?
I throw them in my mouth and miss every night. "
You've clearly got a small mouth |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea
The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.
They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .
We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ..."
The frog is just about understandable, but the mole  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The side or back of your sofa and tell me what's there.
Inspired by me dropping a screw down the back of a customer's sofa, putting my hand down there and pulling out a set of keys they thought they had lost some months ago.
If it's money it's mine
Mind you don't get stuck like they do in porn movies and find the only way to release yourself is for someone to come and have sex with you."
Well I did try waving my arse around for 10 minutes but the customer wouldn't have a bar of it, the dog though |
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I once found a decomposing pig trotter  Came downstairs one morning to a smell that was more horrendous than the usual dog farts, and after a bit of searching found said pig trotter that I thought pooch had eaten when I gave it to her...instead she'd "buried" it down the side of the sofa cushion  Sometimes dogs are just knobheads! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nuts. It’s always my nuts.
Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?
I throw them in my mouth and miss every night.
You've clearly got a small mouth"
This maybe true, or a shocking aim. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nuts. It’s always my nuts.
Have you been neglecting your nuts Woody?
I throw them in my mouth and miss every night.
You've clearly got a small mouth
This maybe true, or a shocking aim. "
It's your mouth 
You could get your nuts into somebody else's mouth first time I bet. |
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"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea
The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.
They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .
We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...
I once found a live mole in my living room! No sign of a tunnel so I assume it was the cats "
I hope it was our cats too. The poor mole didn't know what was going on |
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"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea
The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.
They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .
We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...
The frog is just about understandable, but the mole "
we did live on a farm at the time |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
I've found the odd crisp or silver pen I'd thought I'd lost in the past....
One of my Aunt's regularly had her cushions up on the sofa to look for pennies or two pence's.
When I went round her bum was in the air - cushions everywhere. This act always made me laugh cos I thought what a tight wad!!!
Comes into the category of " God always loves a trier!" LOL.   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea
The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.
They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .
We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...
The frog is just about understandable, but the mole
we did live on a farm at the time "
Ahh! That and the cat puts it into perspective, I thought you might be into Chinese medicine or something. A shark fin, a bit of bat wing and a pinch of mole, should clear that right up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sitting on my special work chair, I looked like a right tit reaching down into the vacant space beside me
We've found peas and bits of Lego down our sofa. Nothing seriously grim or weird."
But you did it anyway 
Thank you |
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"Absolutely nothing done mine currently but I sometimes find a pea
The lego of the food world, they get everywhere the little beggers.
They do and to my eternal shame by the time I find them they're completely dried .
We did find a mummified frog under a radiator once and a live mole in a sweet jar ...
The frog is just about understandable, but the mole
we did live on a farm at the time
Ahh! That and the cat puts it into perspective, I thought you might be into Chinese medicine or something. A shark fin, a bit of bat wing and a pinch of mole, should clear that right up. "
Ah no that's a recipe from my book of Shadows... |
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"Not much, I vacuumed it recently
LvM
What if I hid behind your sofa and pulled my pants down? O think you should try again.
 "
Upon further inspection of the couch I noticed K stuck face down between the cushions. I can only presume she was trying to help you out (though that doesn't explain the moaning). Fortunately my years of porn research have prepared me on the ideal way of getting women unstuck from household objects. I'll get you both off in a jiffy... out, I'll get you both out...
LvM |
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"Not much, I vacuumed it recently
LvM
What if I hid behind your sofa and pulled my pants down? O think you should try again.
Upon further inspection of the couch I noticed K stuck face down between the cushions. I can only presume she was trying to help you out (though that doesn't explain the moaning). Fortunately my years of porn research have prepared me on the ideal way of getting women unstuck from household objects. I'll get you both off in a jiffy... out, I'll get you both out...
LvM"
Thank goodness you can spring into action and get us off. Out. Get us out.
I was stuck in the washing machine for ages the other day waiting for the plumber to help. |
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"Not much, I vacuumed it recently
LvM
What if I hid behind your sofa and pulled my pants down? O think you should try again.
Upon further inspection of the couch I noticed K stuck face down between the cushions. I can only presume she was trying to help you out (though that doesn't explain the moaning). Fortunately my years of porn research have prepared me on the ideal way of getting women unstuck from household objects. I'll get you both off in a jiffy... out, I'll get you both out...
LvM
Thank goodness you can spring into action and get us off. Out. Get us out.
I was stuck in the washing machine for ages the other day waiting for the plumber to help. "
Happy to help, now you two go and rest up in bed while I get some cock for you. Cake. Get some cake... and probably cock too let's be honest.
Oh no! I do hope he was just as well trained as I and managed to get you unstuck, and sort out your pipes...
LvM |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Before getting rid of old sofas I tell my children to cut open the bottoms, tip them up and check for lost keys, pens, money etc.
Once we found a whole set of keys and fobs, loads of lighters and almost £20 in change, from a 3 and 2 seater. |
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