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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Was recently talking to someone about the horrific recent murders in sligo. At some point during the conversation the age of the mother of one of the victims was mentioned and how hard it must be for her.
Two things came to mind :
1 does the age a parent loses a child affect the impact on the parent
2 does the method of death affect the impact, assuming natural or medical would be more acceptable (possibly not the right word) than murder or by own hand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think the age would make a big difference in how you would feel losing a child. But I can imagine if they were very young, it would play on your mind how little of life they had and hpw little of time you got to spend with them. I wouldn't say it is worse, but there would be that added extra weight you would carry.
I know I'd feel very differently if my daughter suffered a horrific death compared to if she passed away peacefully. It's a very traumatic situation to lose a child, but knowing they suffered would be so unbearable.
But no matter how you look at it, it will cut deep and you will experience no pain like it. It's not like a scale where you can measure how bad it is.
When you lose a child it must be excruciating no matter how that child was lost. |
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There’s no word to cover being a parent who has lost a child. You can have an orphan for a parent less child or widow or widower for loss of husband or wife but to have to live with the death of a child, literally no words for it. |
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I think the death of a person and the way they died are separate things. You mourn the person regardless of how they died but if the circumstances are terrible you have that to contend with on top of the grief.
Recently a 106 year old lady that I know of lost her 82 year old son I think it would be unfeeling to suggest that her grief was less in some way |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the death of a person and the way they died are separate things. You mourn the person regardless of how they died but if the circumstances are terrible you have that to contend with on top of the grief.
Recently a 106 year old lady that I know of lost her 82 year old son I think it would be unfeeling to suggest that her grief was less in some way "
Was not implying at all it would be worse or less. I agree that age of parent is irrelevant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that people are entitled to grieve in whatever way they wish too...age and nature of death is irrelevant and having never lost a child then I'm hardly qualified to comment
Grief is fluid and grieving process can be different for everyone based on a myriad of factors. Your grief is your own |
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I think whilst the feelings surrounding the death are different the actual pain of loss is the same.
My Mum and MIL have a close bond and my Mum was 21 and my sibling a small baby when they died, my MIL was 75 and my late husband 51 when he died, yet their pain was the same and they “get” each other’s pain. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai / Nottingham |
I don’t think you can generalise, every person who loses someone deals with it differently , their own personal beliefs and faith probably have the most impact rather than age. Big questions like why and what now/next etc |
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