FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why so rude?
Why so rude?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So why is it that some guys are rude and almost Neanderthal in their messages?
It shocks me that guys think they can open communication with lines like "How about I come round and empty my load in you" or "are you on the pill?" and expect an answer. Obviously, we laugh, delete and block anyone that sends messages like that.
I would like to understand if these are just trolls, or do they really think it is acceptable and that knickers will just fall off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually really struggle to understand the mindset and what response they expect to receive back, now I completely get we are all different but some messages really are offensive !! I’ve had my fair share since joining so can only imagine what it’s like for couples and single Ladies x |
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"I used to ponder this ,I came to the conclusion that these individuals just like to offended so I don't respond at all as it might feed into it.
X "
I'd say that's about right. It's more about getting a reaction because they're tired of being ignored |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab is a reflection upon all kinds kinds in society, pretty much.
Some understand swinging and the likes, others don't.
Some only really understand sex through what porn taught them.
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While I am sure the men here are rude, I get more than my fair share of messages from women here that obviously have not read my profile and just make assumptions based on my skin color alone.
So, both sexes are far from innocent here in this regard. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this"
Why do people always blame the young? We get more rude messages from older gents than we do from the younger generation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The general assumption is that because we are on a sex site, little effort is needed. They can say what they want and think I'll run towards them with my knickers around my ankles. Respect costs nothing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this
Why do people always blame the young? We get more rude messages from older gents than we do from the younger generation."
Totally agree, it 30's and 40's that are the rudest. |
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"Yep, we’ve had our fair share of crass messages but they do give us a laugh! It’s an easy delete too!
Shhhhh.....that's our secret about my use of custard and cherries   xx"
 I just didn’t fancy the custard cold  |
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"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this
Why do people always blame the young? We get more rude messages from older gents than we do from the younger generation.
Totally agree, it 30's and 40's that are the rudest."
Us 50s are gents  x |
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"Yep, we’ve had our fair share of crass messages but they do give us a laugh! It’s an easy delete too!
Shhhhh.....that's our secret about my use of custard and cherries xx
I just didn’t fancy the custard cold "
It'll singe your bits hot though. I'll bring ice too xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this
Why do people always blame the young? We get more rude messages from older gents than we do from the younger generation.
Totally agree, it 30's and 40's that are the rudest."
Most the messages we get from younger men are very respectful. |
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After 100s of message where they read the profile and put something witty go unopened or dejected, they decide it’s not worth their time trying too hard and just shoot their shot
It’s a time/effort thing. You can only fail so many times before you lower what your willing to put forward |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I used to ponder this ,I came to the conclusion that these individuals just like to offended so I don't respond at all as it might feed into it.
X
I'd say that's about right. It's more about getting a reaction because they're tired of being ignored"
In my opinion its this.
Better to be told to fuck off than ignored, at least that way they can have an angry wank pretending that it was their decision not to want to hook up. |
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"Yep, we’ve had our fair share of crass messages but they do give us a laugh! It’s an easy delete too!
Shhhhh.....that's our secret about my use of custard and cherries xx
I just didn’t fancy the custard cold
It'll singe your bits hot though. I'll bring ice too xx"
Glacé cherries or fresh? |
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"Yep, we’ve had our fair share of crass messages but they do give us a laugh! It’s an easy delete too!
Shhhhh.....that's our secret about my use of custard and cherries xx
I just didn’t fancy the custard cold
It'll singe your bits hot though. I'll bring ice too xx
Glacé cherries or fresh? "
Glacé....they stick better xx |
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"Yep, we’ve had our fair share of crass messages but they do give us a laugh! It’s an easy delete too!
Shhhhh.....that's our secret about my use of custard and cherries xx
I just didn’t fancy the custard cold
It'll singe your bits hot though. I'll bring ice too xx
Glacé cherries or fresh?
Glacé....they stick better xx"
…..To everything!!! |
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We just laugh and block as it’s obvious from the messages we have received from all different age groups that they have no clue about the lifestyle in general.Messages like do you want a real man etc .. |
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"Yep, we’ve had our fair share of crass messages but they do give us a laugh! It’s an easy delete too!
Shhhhh.....that's our secret about my use of custard and cherries xx
I just didn’t fancy the custard cold
It'll singe your bits hot though. I'll bring ice too xx
Glacé cherries or fresh?
Glacé....they stick better xx
…..To everything!!! "
I'll nibble, it'll be fine  xx |
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"As long as dick meets minge who cares what's said? I mean, we're ALL here for the same thing ain't we.
A bit like gumtree. I want it, you got it, give me it."
Do you have an old vcr too. Looked on gumtree, but they only had attractive ladies available x |
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Some men on here are obviously roleplaying and it's highly likely that being abrupt and rude isn't their natural demeanor.
While there are plenty who are definitely like that in their daily lives there are many who feel they have to act that way because that's what they think a "real man" would do based on whatever porn they've been watching.
Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen approach.
It works both ways though because there are a number of men I know on here who are extremely misogynistic in real life but are able to project a different image online.
Just as there are many women who can be equally as rude and demanding and approach every conversation with a certain level of expectation as to how that conversation should go and become very abusive when it doesn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If there's naked tits/ cunts/ cocks on a profile they are hardly going to discuss the weather.
The site is full of sex chat and sex reviews "give her a try, she sucks and swallows!!" so it's not a surprise when they start with sex chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After 100s of message where they read the profile and put something witty go unopened or dejected, they decide it’s not worth their time trying too hard and just shoot their shot
It’s a time/effort thing. You can only fail so many times before you lower what your willing to put forward "
An angry reply is better than no reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this"
I get plenty of men in their fifties writing sordid messages to me. When I have challenged them, they say it's acceptable because of the kind of site we are on. It's the mindset that some people have here - if you're on the site, you're a slut and you don't need to be spoken to politely. |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
"Perhaps it's a reflection on poor social skills and lack of respect for others that appear to be prevalent in much of society. "
On the nail here. Also when their cock gets bigger their brain gets smaller sadly |
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If someone uses a particular approach the only avenue to take is to say 'no thanks'or to block.
Why shouldn't someone be direct ? At least you are clear as to what they want and you can decline.
I'd prefer that to someone with 'social skills' as it's been put above.... The person with 'social skills' wants to empty his load in you but just takes a slightly longer way round.
It's true I wouldn't find it a come on but why blame the reality instead of the ones that are conditioned to want everything painted pretty ?
Fottimi amore mio OR Fuck me luv...
Same thing.
|
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Let's be fair , for those blokes that haven't yet learned that women need tempting they just assume we want what they want and as they want uncomplicated relief they don't see the harm in asking for it.
Much simpler in a blokey world |
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Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So why is it that some guys are rude and almost Neanderthal in their messages?
It shocks me that guys think they can open communication with lines like "How about I come round and empty my load in you" or "are you on the pill?" and expect an answer. Obviously, we laugh, delete and block anyone that sends messages like that.
I would like to understand if these are just trolls, or do they really think it is acceptable and that knickers will just fall off?"
It's done to get a reaction... Which means a dialogue has started when you reply. They stand out but for the wrong reasons.
I've replied to a few before. They change their tune once you're talking.
One conversation I had with one that asked to get me pregnant was very amusing. It ended with him saying he'd absolutely shit himself if actually got someone pregnant. He still made the block list though of course.
PW |
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Honestly, Fab is an enormous free database, unwanted messages to some degree will go with the show.
Also, people forget what a huge kink it is for some people to ruffle or upset strangers!
And it's worth remembering that some people are often rather-tragically bad at communicating too.  
BUT...
If a message is genuinely offensive (ie it's not because you just haven't built a skin yet) - then do other people a favour and report it!
Fab can only act sometimes if they have enough data. |
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"Ive had 2 disgusting messages in the last 24 hours, I'm seriously thinking about leaving, I don't need this shit...
Don't let them get to you.
Thanks, think I need a thicker skin
"
yeah, it's the skin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So why is it that some guys are rude and almost Neanderthal in their messages?
It shocks me that guys think they can open communication with lines like "How about I come round and empty my load in you" or "are you on the pill?" and expect an answer. Obviously, we laugh, delete and block anyone that sends messages like that.
I would like to understand if these are just trolls, or do they really think it is acceptable and that knickers will just fall off?"
We’re not all that bad I promise you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone uses a particular approach the only avenue to take is to say 'no thanks'or to block.
Why shouldn't someone be direct ? At least you are clear as to what they want and you can decline.
I'd prefer that to someone with 'social skills' as it's been put above.... The person with 'social skills' wants to empty his load in you but just takes a slightly longer way round.
It's true I wouldn't find it a come on but why blame the reality instead of the ones that are conditioned to want everything painted pretty ?
Fottimi amore mio OR Fuck me luv...
Same thing.
"
I don't often disagree with you but I do here. There's being direct "Hi, I'd love to have sex with you" which I have no problem with. And then there's "I'd love to smear my cum all over those fat tits". I don't think many of us want poetry in our messages but FFS nobody here deserves to be treated like an object and not worthy of respect. |
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"So why is it that some guys are rude and almost Neanderthal in their messages?
It shocks me that guys think they can open communication with lines like "How about I come round and empty my load in you" or "are you on the pill?" and expect an answer. Obviously, we laugh, delete and block anyone that sends messages like that.
I would like to understand if these are just trolls, or do they really think it is acceptable and that knickers will just fall off?"
Those messages just makes life easier. It a quick and easy fall at filter number one. It's surprising but soon water off a ducks back. |
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"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this"
Not all young men... Some of the worst messages I've had are from 45+ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this
Not all young men... Some of the worst messages I've had are from 45+"
Same here. And I find younger guys are more likely to change their attitude when challenged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed."
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages. |
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By *age500Woman
over a year ago
ashton-under-lyne |
"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this
Not all young men... Some of the worst messages I've had are from 45+"
Thought the same myself…. Had a 40 year old bloke tell me I shouldn’t be on the site the other day because I didn’t appreciate him asking if I was on the pill.
I seem to find that older men (older than myself) seem to think they can speak to me how they wish because of my age  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages."
Not replying to first messages is one thing but wouldn't you say ignoring a chat that's started is rude? |
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By *age500Woman
over a year ago
ashton-under-lyne |
"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages.
Not replying to first messages is one thing but wouldn't you say ignoring a chat that's started is rude? "
I’m all for not replying to unwanted messages but do find it rude if you’ve started a conversation with someone and suddenly stop responding |
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"I used to ponder this ,I came to the conclusion that these individuals just like to offended so I don't respond at all as it might feed into it.
X
I'd say that's about right. It's more about getting a reaction because they're tired of being ignored"
It’s this they want a reaction or they are into a breeding fantasy. But either way it’s just meh honestly the guys that do it |
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We get so many messages like this. I just think they have no respect for women and just see them as a breathing talking flashlight.
And they're certainly not capable of learning from their lack of success as we get the same messages over and over from the same guys. You'd think at some point they'd go "this isn't working, I'll try a different tact" but no, apparently not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages.
Not replying to first messages is one thing but wouldn't you say ignoring a chat that's started is rude? "
Personally I wouldn’t say it is rude. If you don’t want to carry on chatting then I don’t think you should have to explain why - You might have got talking then the chat suddenly changes to being weird or creepy (just an example) or you are just not interested anymore… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages.
Not replying to first messages is one thing but wouldn't you say ignoring a chat that's started is rude?
Personally I wouldn’t say it is rude. If you don’t want to carry on chatting then I don’t think you should have to explain why - You might have got talking then the chat suddenly changes to being weird or creepy (just an example) or you are just not interested anymore…"
It’s not rude at all.
I’ll often reply to first messages if they are nice enough. I explain that I won’t be meeting them etc but thank them for their message. 9/10 try to continue the chat regardless. I may reply once or twice more but often I just stop opening them.
Ignoring messages, deleting messages or anything if the sort is not rude at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages.
Not replying to first messages is one thing but wouldn't you say ignoring a chat that's started is rude?
Personally I wouldn’t say it is rude. If you don’t want to carry on chatting then I don’t think you should have to explain why - You might have got talking then the chat suddenly changes to being weird or creepy (just an example) or you are just not interested anymore…
It’s not rude at all.
I’ll often reply to first messages if they are nice enough. I explain that I won’t be meeting them etc but thank them for their message. 9/10 try to continue the chat regardless. I may reply once or twice more but often I just stop opening them.
Ignoring messages, deleting messages or anything if the sort is not rude at all. "
Yes exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages.
Not replying to first messages is one thing but wouldn't you say ignoring a chat that's started is rude?
I’m all for not replying to unwanted messages but do find it rude if you’ve started a conversation with someone and suddenly stop responding"
The trouble is, there are times when I don’t want to continue chatting, times a message gets lost further down or even times I just don’t check my inbox.
It probably is rude, but if I don’t want to continue talking, then what…
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This morning I've had messages about my bra size and whether I really love anal. I'm not a walking wank bank. "
 I’m laughing but, really, I’m tired of it.
Have a rest and block the single guys xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, first of all I obviously wouldn't write something like that. But I've written enough proper replies, eloquent, with big words and everything, and never got a reply back, which is pretty rude in itself. In the end you just give up. Did exchange a few mails with someone earlier this week, and then they just stopped replying. I sent one more, just a comment on an update to their profile, but both my previous mail and that one are still unread, and they've been online several times. Don't want to keep mailing so just taking the hint and walking away as usual.
So rudeness is rampant on here. Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed.
It isn’t rude. People have the choice whether or not to reply.
I spend my time on this site as I wish, not replying to unwanted messages.
Not replying to first messages is one thing but wouldn't you say ignoring a chat that's started is rude?
I’m all for not replying to unwanted messages but do find it rude if you’ve started a conversation with someone and suddenly stop responding
The trouble is, there are times when I don’t want to continue chatting, times a message gets lost further down or even times I just don’t check my inbox.
It probably is rude, but if I don’t want to continue talking, then what…
"
I take on board what you've all said - I guess for me I'd feel rude. But I don't want to keep talking because often a guy has messaged saying something nice, I've felt I need to say thank you but I am not interested when they keep going with a desultory chat. I usually say "I'm not interested in chatting anymore, good luck". If they keep on messaging, I just delete. But I suspect it's just numbers for you Hippy - you will get a lot more messages than I do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This morning I've had messages about my bra size and whether I really love anal. I'm not a walking wank bank.
I’m laughing but, really, I’m tired of it.
Have a rest and block the single guys xx"
Yeah, I do periodically. Or just change my age limit to 98-99 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This morning I've had messages about my bra size and whether I really love anal. I'm not a walking wank bank.
I’m laughing but, really, I’m tired of it.
Have a rest and block the single guys xx
Yeah, I do periodically. Or just change my age limit to 98-99 "
Oooo that’s a good tip! Thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This morning I've had messages about my bra size and whether I really love anal. I'm not a walking wank bank.
I’m laughing but, really, I’m tired of it.
Have a rest and block the single guys xx
Yeah, I do periodically. Or just change my age limit to 98-99
Oooo that’s a good tip! Thanks "
It was a tip passed onto me! |
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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago
Sent to Coventry |
"Sadly this site seems to attract these young men who seem to thing they are god's gift to to women and are in love with themselves.
Sadly society is becoming more and more like this
Why do people always blame the young? We get more rude messages from older gents than we do from the younger generation."
I only allow messages from over 50’s and still a lot of rude/graphic first messages |
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"So why is it that some guys are rude and almost Neanderthal in their messages?
It shocks me that guys think they can open communication with lines like "How about I come round and empty my load in you" or "are you on the pill?" and expect an answer. Obviously, we laugh, delete and block anyone that sends messages like that.
I would like to understand if these are just trolls, or do they really think it is acceptable and that knickers will just fall off?"
I'm sure there are people that would respond to those sort of messages. What they are guilty of is not knowing there audience. |
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"A guy will look at a profiles pictures, start to get an erection and all there blood ends up in their cock hence guys thinking with their dicks and not there brains.!!!! "
Your profile is a boner alert  |
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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"The general assumption is that because we are on a sex site, little effort is needed. They can say what they want and think I'll run towards them with my knickers around my ankles. Respect costs nothing!"
Beat me to it….it’s predominantly laziness and misinterpreting the nature of this site to mean that being utterly direct is the way to go.
Not far behind that however is that some guys are just semi-evolved knuckledraggers and couldn’t manage any better. |
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