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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy.Have you found them sexy because of it?"
Nooooo I prefer confidence, and I am surprised when people who I think should have it, don't. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy.Have you found them sexy because of it?
Nooooo I prefer confidence, and I am surprised when people who I think should have it, don't."
See i dont think that self depreciation and lack of confidence always go hand in hand. My mind goes blank when i hear someone doing it....it bores me rigid and frigid.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Self deprecation is better than boastful, full of themselves types. However, if it's done to overkill it can come across as 'give me a compliment and say I'm nice really'. A half way house where you're modest but confident is the best way to be IMO xx |
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"Self deprecation is better than boastful, full of themselves types. However, if it's done to overkill it can come across as 'give me a compliment and say I'm nice really'. A half way house where you're modest but confident is the best way to be IMO xx"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do sometimes, but it comes from being put down by people in my past. After while you start to believe it.
I'm.much better now that I've met people wholike me for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am the first to take the piss out of myself but I don't see that as self depreciation. My confidence waivers depending on my mood. Yesterday was a shocker, but most days I am happy as Larry and feel great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do sometimes, but it comes from being put down by people in my past. After while you start to believe it.
I'm.much better now that I've met people wholike me for me. "
Same here. I try to be confident and some nice people on here are helping with that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting. From my own point of _iew, I hold no notions of vanity about myself - Im quite aware of who and what I am.
Some may see the way I describe myself as self-depreciation but it isn't. I recoil at any attempts made to try to turn it around with compliments (or as Diamondsmiles says, fawning).
Simply because I have the body of the Pilsbury Dough Boy, it doesn't mean I don't have enough self-confidence and self-assurance to fill a swimming pool.
I just temper it with a well grounded self awareness. Because if I didn't, I'd just be an 'orrible twunt! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy.Have you found them sexy because of it?
Nooooo I prefer confidence, and I am surprised when people who I think should have it, don't.See i dont think that self depreciation and lack of confidence always go hand in hand. My mind goes blank when i hear someone doing it....it bores me rigid and frigid. "
See now I think there is a link between self depreciation and confidence. |
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"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy.Have you found them sexy because of it?
Nooooo I prefer confidence, and I am surprised when people who I think should have it, don't.See i dont think that self depreciation and lack of confidence always go hand in hand. My mind goes blank when i hear someone doing it....it bores me rigid and frigid.
See now I think there is a link between self depreciation and confidence."
I have to agree with femme, im sure if where honest even the most confident can have a moments wobble every now and again, but to me self depreciation is someone who whinges and whines constantly about themselves just hoping they are going to get complements.
I like to think im pretty self aware, im an overweight, lates 40's average looking woman thats been blessed with a nice smile. I have all the time in the world for people with confidence issues but i cannot abide people that i class as self depreciating |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy.Have you found them sexy because of it?
Nooooo I prefer confidence, and I am surprised when people who I think should have it, don't.See i dont think that self depreciation and lack of confidence always go hand in hand. My mind goes blank when i hear someone doing it....it bores me rigid and frigid.
See now I think there is a link between self depreciation and confidence."
On the odd occasion yes, most of the time no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy.Have you found them sexy because of it?
Nooooo I prefer confidence, and I am surprised when people who I think should have it, don't.See i dont think that self depreciation and lack of confidence always go hand in hand. My mind goes blank when i hear someone doing it....it bores me rigid and frigid.
See now I think there is a link between self depreciation and confidence.
I have to agree with femme, im sure if where honest even the most confident can have a moments wobble every now and again, but to me self depreciation is someone who whinges and whines constantly about themselves just hoping they are going to get complements.
I like to think im pretty self aware, im an overweight, lates 40's average looking woman thats been blessed with a nice smile. I have all the time in the world for people with confidence issues but i cannot abide people that i class as self depreciating"
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"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy."
Never.
I can make jokes...... but it is because I find it funny. If someone does it and does it in a clever witty way... as in it is funny... cool. But not too often.
When people do it and are serious or just fishing for compliments, I find it a deeply unattractive activity...... along with the act of rushing in to say "oh no you're not" and in doing so encouraging the behaviour to continue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy."
yes i often put myself down before others do, was bullied through out my childhood so its kinda my own self defense if i pull a fat joke before they stick a punch in. I find i do it more when it comes to people who haven't physically met me yet, and once they get over the initial shock of my size then i relax more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you put yourself down before others do? I have met quite a few people who do, yet I have found them very sexy."
Are you actually meaning self-deprecation, or is actually self-effacing which you find sexy? I know I do - makes me feel that a woman is almost in my hands (Oh what a perv I am!), but of course, with many, it is a well-rehearsed 'act'.... but I'm a sucker for it anyway, so... hey-ho! 
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting. From my own point of _iew, I hold no notions of vanity about myself - Im quite aware of who and what I am.
Some may see the way I describe myself as self-depreciation but it isn't. I recoil at any attempts made to try to turn it around with compliments (or as Diamondsmiles says, fawning).
Simply because I have the body of the Pilsbury Dough Boy, it doesn't mean I don't have enough self-confidence and self-assurance to fill a swimming pool.
I just temper it with a well grounded self awareness. Because if I didn't, I'd just be an 'orrible twunt!"
I'm a bit like this...I know my flaws and my qualities, but I don't expect someone to tell me I don't have a fat ass when I make a joke about it because I clearly do have a fat ass. I get irritated by people who will try the flattery because I just see it as fake compliments which mean nothing and just make me uncomfortable...and kill the joke I was making too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't put myself down but I am realistic. I don't take myself seriously and sometimes people mistake my comments as putting myself down when actually I'm just having a laugh.
I don't like it when people think I'm doing it for attention or for compliments as I don't really like compliments or attention. If I can make someone smile then that's the kind of compliment I like. |
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I have an honest _iew of myself and won't be lied to.
But then I won't be so rude as to question another person's opinion and knowledge of what they find attractive.
So: " you're never a size 14" will get dismissed but "I think your tummy is lovely" will get a thank you.
But people who do it just to get compliments are on a hiding to nothing with me. 
And if I want a compliment I will brazenly ask for one!  It may not have as much value as one out of the blue but it has more value than a pity compliment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it really irritating and childish when people put themselves down in an attempt to gsain a compliment, people who say things like, I'm so fat' when they are a size 0 etc.
But people also don't take warmly to people who are positive about themselves and these people get tarred with the 'up their own arse, egotistical' etc.
I know exactly what my faults are. I am mid 40s, getting a few lines, am a big girl with a flabby tummy. But on the positive side I am attractive, I have great curves and I'm intelligent. There are many positives about me so I'm ok with myself really. |
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