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Is it a criminal offence...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?   "
Your post had cheered me up no end 
Was having a tearful moment, now can't stop laughing 
If you get away with it can you come and sort my neighbour too please?  |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?
Your post had cheered me up no end
Was having a tearful moment, now can't stop laughing
If you get away with it can you come and sort my neighbour too please? "
Glad it cheered you up....and yes why not , if i can getway with it.
Fucking twat is still letting em off, my puppy is scared stiff and crying under the table and wont come out, but i am smiling as i write as now the wife is kicking off and they having a domestic.....KARMA |
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"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?
R u aiming this question at anyone in particular ? lol   No just the forum as its about my inconsiderate wanker of a neighbour  "
You could broach the subject and enquire if they have any objections to you placing a catherine wheel on his or her head.. Now that would at least make you smile inside  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?
Your post had cheered me up no end
Was having a tearful moment, now can't stop laughing
If you get away with it can you come and sort my neighbour too please? Glad it cheered you up....and yes why not , if i can getway with it.
Fucking twat is still letting em off, my puppy is scared stiff and crying under the table and wont come out, but i am smiling as i write as now the wife is kicking off and they having a domestic.....KARMA "
This is why the bloomin things should only be made legal at properly organised displays.
They suddenly started 3 days ago here during the day.
Our poor 2 didn't know whether to run or hide.... in the end one of them just stood there and shook |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up "
Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot. |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up
Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot."
Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up
Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok."
Poor wee pup, literally frightened fartless.
leave an anonymous note through their door thanking him for the good rodgering he gave you while his Mrs was at work and when can he do it to you again big boy? |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
Awww poor puppy! Hate bastard fireworks for these reasons! Should only allow them for one night a year (at the most). Drives me mad!
Going to be a nightmare with my princess this year, as her ears have just been treated (again) so she can hear a pin drop.
I think you'd be ok shoving a firework up their arses, they may not even realise |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up
Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok.
Poor wee pup, literally frightened fartless.
leave an anonymous note through their door thanking him for the good rodgering he gave you while his Mrs was at work and when can he do it to you again big boy? "
Nice one but i would hate to even imagine that scenario.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up
Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok.
Poor wee pup, literally frightened fartless.
leave an anonymous note through their door thanking him for the good rodgering he gave you while his Mrs was at work and when can he do it to you again big boy? Nice one but i would hate to even imagine that scenario.... "
His Mrs would give him a good hiding and put him on short rations till 2013 though.
One of my dogs still jumps up onto the nearest lap and buries her head into your armpit when fireworks go off.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never been a fan of fireworks but the city centre outskirts are alreay full of short lease shops selling em to kids....grrrrrrrrrrrr "
Bastards, kids can be injured with them ffs!
My dad was a fireman and hated that time of year, they used to get stoned by kids and adults, if they went round putting out non-organised bonfires and fireworks displays that were classed as dangerous or out of control. |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I have never been a fan of fireworks but the city centre outskirts are alreay full of short lease shops selling em to kids....grrrrrrrrrrrr
Bastards, kids can be injured with them ffs!
My dad was a fireman and hated that time of year, they used to get stoned by kids and adults, if they went round putting out non-organised bonfires and fireworks displays that were classed as dangerous or out of control."
Kids seem to just use them as a way to up their anti social behaviour.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get your own back .... stick your dogs turds in a paper bag, put it on his doorstep,set light to it, ring his bell then run away ... not so far away though that you can't see him stamping on it in his slippers to put the flames out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My pup is farting even more than usual, he is now sat next to me cuddled up
Does Ceaser have an online lesson for dealing with loud noises? You may want to change pup's diet to fix the farty bot.Hes farting cause he a scared puppy dog....hes on the vets recommended, normally ok."
Poor puppy 
Fireworks should be allowed at organised events only, and events should be limited and well publicised, to allow people the best chance of ensuring their pets are safe and not frightened.
Fireworks going off randomly, frequently, at any time, on any day between October and January is totally unacceptable.
There haven't been any around this area yet but there will, and they always upset my cats. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was only pondering on the lack of banging (from fireworks) as I locked my car to start my night shift. Then a rocket went off. Ohhh, the irony. Hate them.
As regards your neighbour, I'm sure if you secure said lit firework to his person with the aid of a 6" nail, his immediate thoughts wont be to call the police. Be sure to film it and claim 250 spondies from Harry Hill. Should cover the cost of air freshener to remove the lingering aroma of nervous puppy...
See? Practical advice. I amaze myself sometimes, I really do....  |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I was only pondering on the lack of banging (from fireworks) as I locked my car to start my night shift. Then a rocket went off. Ohhh, the irony. Hate them.
As regards your neighbour, I'm sure if you secure said lit firework to his person with the aid of a 6" nail, his immediate thoughts wont be to call the police. Be sure to film it and claim 250 spondies from Harry Hill. Should cover the cost of air freshener to remove the lingering aroma of nervous puppy...
See? Practical advice. I amaze myself sometimes, I really do.... "
Well thank you for the advice, i suspect his missus has debollocked him by now , its gone verrrry quiet. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...
Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy... "
Muffocated - love it! I'll have to find a way of slipping that into conversation tomorrow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...
Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy... I still prefer the the firework idea....i know im bad  "
Only bad if you get caught. And can't plausably deny it. Without bursting into spluttery laffter immediately afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour? "
I'm sure it is a criminal offence but then they'd have to retrieve him from the moon to prove it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They might be making up.... he's being muffocated as you type...
Theres a mental image for ya! Enjoy...
Muffocated - love it! I'll have to find a way of slipping that into conversation tomorrow."
One of my fave words at the mo - it says so much in so few syllables, kind of like the Anti-Prescott. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to shove a rather large firework up the arsehole of my next door neighbour?
I'm sure it is a criminal offence but then they'd have to retrieve him from the moon to prove it. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not heard one firework yet...long may the peace continue. "
BOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! oopsss sorry didnt mean to scare you,hope you were fast asleep wen the firework went off |
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This might sound a bit weird but it really calms dogs down when they get scared by fireworks. Wear an old t-shirt (next to skin) for the day and in the evening put it on the dog. Your scent and its closeness to their bodies will have a real calming effect on them. Told to me by a dog trainer mate and it has always worked on our dogs x |
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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"This might sound a bit weird but it really calms dogs down when they get scared by fireworks. Wear an old t-shirt (next to skin) for the day and in the evening put it on the dog. Your scent and its closeness to their bodies will have a real calming effect on them. Told to me by a dog trainer mate and it has always worked on our dogs x"
thank you, i had thought of that, my pup has claimed an old cardi of mine tonight so he thought of it too! |
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