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How big of a deal is the next England match on Tuesday ...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don’t follow sport at all and I don’t watch football.
How big a deal is watching the next game really from a man or women’s point of view?
For contexts...
Ex is meant to have our kids next Tuesday for the evening. He’s asking can he do another night as England is playing. Iv already made plans to go to the cinema with a friend (no tickets bought) so Iv said no as I’m busy but he’s come back saying it’s a ‘big game’ and I’m being a bit mean.
He can’t really take the kids with him to watch it properly as one of our kids is disabled and the other would be bored shitless 
My friend can’t do any other week night hence not really wanting to change.
We get on fine and he’s a great dad so changing the day normally isn’t a problem.
So am I being mean? Is it actually a big deal? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience of watching England in the knock out stages its not worth the 2 hours of watching to be disappointed at the final result.
I haven't watched much this tournament as I don't get excited by England anymore. Maybe because I'm older. But the whole experience of going the pub having a few was always the best bit, having beer thrown all over the place when we took the lead to then being pissed off at the final whistle.
If I was you go the cinema enjoy your evening. if he thinks England will beat Germany then he will have the quarter final to look forward too down the pub and in some ways a better prospect if reaching the semi finals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't understand it but football is important to guys, so I always compromise during football season.
I would do the change if I was you, as long as he is willing to do the same back for you  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Is his TV at home broken?
Watching England doesn’t have to mean shouting at the big TV in a pub, I’ve watched the last 3 games at home.
It’s not so much that he wants to watch the game, it’s that he wants to go out and watch it, they’re two very different things |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is his TV at home broken?
Watching England doesn’t have to mean shouting at the big TV in a pub, I’ve watched the last 3 games at home.
It’s not so much that he wants to watch the game, it’s that he wants to go out and watch it, they’re two very different things"
Ha ha I don’t think his TVs are broken
Yes he wants to go out and watch it. A group of his friends are. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't understand it but football is important to guys, so I always compromise during football season.
I would do the change if I was you, as long as he is willing to do the same back for you "
Yeh he’s pretty good at switching. We normally only switch if the other doesn’t have plans though  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
This is a bit of a quandary really.
Speaking personally, I’d never pass up time with my kids for anything like that, or anything for that matter!
If there’s a big game, I’ll watch it with them so I’d never do that. However I understand the positives of being flexible in co parenting and people have different priorities over their time and kids.
It is a huge game with a lot of history and significance attached but at the same time, it’s just a game |
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Single dad perspective here… there are events, occasions etc. that I would absolutely ask my ex if I could rearrange seeing the kids for…
So I could watch the football in the pub is NOT one of them. For context, I am a big football fan and also enjoy socialising with friends at the pub, but let’s face it, it’s not even like it’s the Final.
He can watch the game at home, maybe even get the kids involved…. Plenty of other opportunities to watch football at the pub with his mates.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only a game. No-ones life is going to change if god forbid they do happen to win. Still at least they might stop happing on about 66 for a change! "
It definitely is onoy a game, but then again...you could switch it around and say it's only a movie 
hehe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a bit of a quandary really.
Speaking personally, I’d never pass up time with my kids for anything like that, or anything for that matter!
If there’s a big game, I’ll watch it with them so I’d never do that. However I understand the positives of being flexible in co parenting and people have different priorities over their time and kids.
It is a huge game with a lot of history and significance attached but at the same time, it’s just a game"
It's a tough one isn't it.
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"It's only a game. No-ones life is going to change if god forbid they do happen to win. Still at least they might stop happing on about 66 for a change!
It definitely is onoy a game, but then again...you could switch it around and say it's only a movie
hehe "
I dont get excited over movies either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's only a game. No-ones life is going to change if god forbid they do happen to win. Still at least they might stop happing on about 66 for a change!
It definitely is onoy a game, but then again...you could switch it around and say it's only a movie
hehe
I dont get excited over movies either!"
lol. Was just messing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t follow sport at all and I don’t watch football.
How big a deal is watching the next game really from a man or women’s point of view?
For contexts...
Ex is meant to have our kids next Tuesday for the evening. He’s asking can he do another night as England is playing. Iv already made plans to go to the cinema with a friend (no tickets bought) so Iv said no as I’m busy but he’s come back saying it’s a ‘big game’ and I’m being a bit mean.
He can’t really take the kids with him to watch it properly as one of our kids is disabled and the other would be bored shitless
My friend can’t do any other week night hence not really wanting to change.
We get on fine and he’s a great dad so changing the day normally isn’t a problem.
So am I being mean? Is it actually a big deal? "
It's not going to build any bridges between you, let's put it that way. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
It’s the Germans in a major tournament
Beat them in 66 to win the World Cup with a tight offiside call, got knocked out by then in 1990 on pens and again in 1996. Beat them in 2000 with a Alan Shearer header, got knocked out of 2010 World Cup due to a phantom goal that wasn’t given
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Football tournaments come & go.
There is such a thing called evening highlights or youtubeor boxes that record or even old school - a video!
Kid's are with you till you die ...... Their well being is more important than watching overpaid fotballers chasing a bag of wind around the pitch.
Were there any football quotes about kids not being as important as a football game? NO!
However, there is also a famous quote about a manager being asked by a reporter whether they feared such and such a team in a tournament.
The manager replied:-
"I fear my wife more!"
Do I like football? - Yes, yhank you!
Is it a biggy? - Yes. But, there is no guarantee that England will win or even if it's stalemate that they win on penalties.....
Tell him you are protecting his health & stress levels! |
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Yes it's a big game. Start of the knock outs. First instinct was couldn't he just watch it at home with the kids.
But then thought would it be that much of an imposition for you to change your cinema day?
And to those saying they'd never do that to their kids, he's just swapping a day not never seeing them again.
So I'd do him the favour and let him go watch the football. |
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"Yes it's a big game. Start of the knock outs. First instinct was couldn't he just watch it at home with the kids.
But then thought would it be that much of an imposition for you to change your cinema day?
And to those saying they'd never do that to their kids, he's just swapping a day not never seeing them again.
So I'd do him the favour and let him go watch the football. "
OP said her friend can only do that day |
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"I don't understand it but football is important to guys, so I always compromise during football season.
I would do the change if I was you, as long as he is willing to do the same back for you "
Bit of a generalisation that it is important to guys.... There are thousands and thousands of women who attend football and watch football.... So I would say its important to gals too.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone will have their own view: me? Yes, it is big. Someone else will think, ah football? Meh.
Then those that think that about football might get in a frenzy over rugby whereas I can’t abide the sport. So it’s all a personal definition isn’t it?
As an ex you will know him, and what is important to him, better than we do, and also what is important to you and whether you want to compromise or not.
So just because Joe Bloggs or Mary Smith on here might say it is / isn’t important from their perspective, that’s irrelevant imho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's just a game. I think the question to ask him is what is more important his children or a football match. He can watch it at home it'd be different if it was the semi or final"
What if he counters what’s more important the cinema or a child?
Isn’t this more about functioning effectively as a separated mother and father, not using the kids to score points? The OP has already said he’s a good Dad.
Hopefully they can agree a mutually acceptable situation and everyone wins. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Regardless of whether you like football, or England - the question was "how big is this game relative to others?"
The answer is that they just don't get any bigger than England v Germany in the knockout stage of a tournament. |
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"Regardless of whether you like football, or England - the question was "how big is this game relative to others?"
The answer is that they just don't get any bigger than England v Germany in the knockout stage of a tournament."
The weird thing is..gernany dont see it as big as we do..their big rivals are Holland.
It's only here we build it up to be this huge rivalry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regardless of whether you like football, or England - the question was "how big is this game relative to others?"
The answer is that they just don't get any bigger than England v Germany in the knockout stage of a tournament.
The weird thing is..gernany dont see it as big as we do..their big rivals are Holland.
It's only here we build it up to be this huge rivalry."
Not weird at all. Football has many examples of one way rivalries.
Particularly when one side has a far better head to head record. |
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"Regardless of whether you like football, or England - the question was "how big is this game relative to others?"
The answer is that they just don't get any bigger than England v Germany in the knockout stage of a tournament.
The weird thing is..gernany dont see it as big as we do..their big rivals are Holland.
It's only here we build it up to be this huge rivalry.
Not weird at all. Football has many examples of one way rivalries.
Particularly when one side has a far better head to head record."
True dat. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"I don’t follow sport at all and I don’t watch football.
How big a deal is watching the next game really from a man or women’s point of view?
For contexts...
Ex is meant to have our kids next Tuesday for the evening. He’s asking can he do another night as England is playing. Iv already made plans to go to the cinema with a friend (no tickets bought) so Iv said no as I’m busy but he’s come back saying it’s a ‘big game’ and I’m being a bit mean.
He can’t really take the kids with him to watch it properly as one of our kids is disabled and the other would be bored shitless
My friend can’t do any other week night hence not really wanting to change.
We get on fine and he’s a great dad so changing the day normally isn’t a problem.
So am I being mean? Is it actually a big deal? "
Plans were made and plans needs to be kept, just tell him they will lose on penalties like last time.
Enjoy the film. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TBH whilst I get that it helps to garner wider opinion. There are many differing opinions in this forum. Most of which are irrelevant as they don’t apply to your particular circs.
Obvs it is important enough to your ex who by your own words is a good Dad and you get on. The cinema will still be there in a few weeks. The England game won’t.
This is coming from a mildly football fan who’s not bothered watching any of the matches to date.
I don’t buy the ‘kids come first’ comments - that’s a given if there is no choice - but (hypothetically) unless they are terminally ill then they’ll also be around next week too.
How about you swap, and he buys the cinema tickets and a nice meal after for you and your friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I would swap.
You say you get on fine and he's a good dad so as its once every 2 years (I'm including the world cup) id say yes.
I get that people might think "he should see his kids rather than watch football" but we have all been through so much the last 18 months and all just want a bit of "normal". |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
See .. I kinda get both points of view… it’s either going to be the last game and heartbreaking… or the 1st glorious March to that semi final…
It’s a toughie…
Football hasn’t come home yet.. it’s rummaging in it’s pockets looking for it’s keys! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He really is a great dad to the kids so I’m
Not bothered about the asking to change days. I also ask to change sometimes but we normally only say yes if the other has no plans.
So Iv asked my friend if she would mind coming to mine instead and having a takeaway and a catch up. She’s happy with this so Iv told my ex he can go out and watch the football and have the kids a different night.
He’s grateful and has thanked me... even offered to pay for our takeaway as a sorry for being a pain.
Our daughter doesn’t care which night she sees him as long as she does and she’s happy she’s getting dominos next week now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He really is a great dad to the kids so I’m
Not bothered about the asking to change days. I also ask to change sometimes but we normally only say yes if the other has no plans.
So Iv asked my friend if she would mind coming to mine instead and having a takeaway and a catch up. She’s happy with this so Iv told my ex he can go out and watch the football and have the kids a different night.
He’s grateful and has thanked me... even offered to pay for our takeaway as a sorry for being a pain.
Our daughter doesn’t care which night she sees him as long as she does and she’s happy she’s getting dominos next week now.
"
Sounds like a brilliant comprise and free pizza just tops it off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He really is a great dad to the kids so I’m
Not bothered about the asking to change days. I also ask to change sometimes but we normally only say yes if the other has no plans.
So Iv asked my friend if she would mind coming to mine instead and having a takeaway and a catch up. She’s happy with this so Iv told my ex he can go out and watch the football and have the kids a different night.
He’s grateful and has thanked me... even offered to pay for our takeaway as a sorry for being a pain.
Our daughter doesn’t care which night she sees him as long as she does and she’s happy she’s getting dominos next week now.
Sounds like a brilliant comprise and free pizza just tops it off. "
He just knows our daughter would give up her soul for pizza |
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"He really is a great dad to the kids so I’m
Not bothered about the asking to change days. I also ask to change sometimes but we normally only say yes if the other has no plans.
So Iv asked my friend if she would mind coming to mine instead and having a takeaway and a catch up. She’s happy with this so Iv told my ex he can go out and watch the football and have the kids a different night.
He’s grateful and has thanked me... even offered to pay for our takeaway as a sorry for being a pain.
Our daughter doesn’t care which night she sees him as long as she does and she’s happy she’s getting dominos next week now.
Sounds like a brilliant comprise and free pizza just tops it off.
He just knows our daughter would give up her soul for pizza "
Sounds like a much better compromise than digging heels in. |
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