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Take things to heart
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well? |
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I can do, if I think they're way off but that's moreso because I see it as a reflection of myself and my ability to explain things properly or maybe using a bad example. So in those cases I feel like I've let myself down.
Being called a weird fucked up woman didn't bother me in the slightest.
If someone I respected said something negative about me, yeah, it'd come with a sting. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
Where would you like me? |
It depends on my general frame of mind at the time. If I'm feeling a bit crap then things can get to me that normally wouldn't. Things can get to me on different levels as well - if it's something that calls out a part of me I'm worried about, that will affect me more than it should.
Most of the time (like 90% of the time) it doesn't really affect me.
I'm trying to work on being less bothered by others and what they say/think about me, it's a long process when you're an overthinker like me. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I think it often depends on my frame of mind. At times we are all a little more fragile and things get to us more.
I think that is when you need to learn your owm tolerances and if its starting to get to you - walk away for a bit. I believe thats true for 'real' life as well as 'fab' life.
I quite often need a break from ceertain aspects of life - even myself  |
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I wish I was secure enough to say that I don't and only care what those who I respect say about me. But unfortunately, that's not the case.
If anyone said anything negative about me, I'd like to know so that I can guage why they came to that conclusion and if it's something I can work on, I would definitely do that. It's not about sucking up to everyone, it's about not making things awkward haha |
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Yeah I can do depending on my mood, if I have PMT then I certainly will. It's like someone sent a crappy message about my appearance and I did get upset. Think everyone does now and again we're not made of Teflon. |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"I think it often depends on my frame of mind. At times we are all a little more fragile and things get to us more.
I think that is when you need to learn your owm tolerances and if its starting to get to you - walk away for a bit. I believe thats true for 'real' life as well as 'fab' life.
I quite often need a break from ceertain aspects of life - even myself "
Totally get this. I had to cut someone out of my life for good who I thought was a very good friend. I saw how selfish and manipulative she actually was. It hurt me to do it but it was for the best for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?"
IRL no not really but on here I used to a lot until the lessons dolled out by mods sunk in and for me personally fab has become so much more enjoyable.
You’re never too old to learn I say.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am far from hard as nails and in real life I'm a softie (no smart remarks please  ) but I have learned that on her you really cannot take too much to heart... Otherwise it will be emotional and mental torture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On here no, in real life I can be more sensitive.. if those close to me are telling me about myself and I know there right, I can be sensitive and defensive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol |
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"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?"
If I was to take to heart what a certain gobshite says about me here than I'd log out and not come back. It actually says more about their petty behaviour than mine. Their opinion means nothing to me and very little to other fab users as I've not been the only one they talk about and have targeted.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
Where would you like me? |
"Yeah I can do depending on my mood, if I have PMT then I certainly will. It's like someone sent a crappy message about my appearance and I did get upset. Think everyone does now and again we're not made of Teflon. "
I've learned to minimise contact with most during my hormonal changes - it's not worth the sad it causes. Best to talk to icecream and chocolate. |
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol"
Sounds like a lucky escape if she flounces over you fancying another woman when she has a husband  . |
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"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?"
Never take anything to heart, as long as you're living your best life that's all that matters.
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"On here no, in real life I can be more sensitive.. if those close to me are telling me about myself and I know there right, I can be sensitive and defensive "
I can get defensive but will sit and mull over what was said, and sometimes I end up agreeing with what they said. |
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I take most things to heart and dwell on everything. Can spend days worrying about a comment made. I try not to let it get me and fab is in a weird way helping. Getting rude messages used to really upset me and I’d really take them to heart. But learning to shrug them off and realising it’s a reflection of them rather than me. Freya |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Sounds like a lucky escape if she flounces over you fancying another woman when she has a husband . "
I was gutted because it was an innocent comment, plus we were getting on well.
Que sera sera..as they say in Paris
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol"
Jeez. Some people really don't understand swinging do they. You're better off without jealous people. |
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"Yeah I can do depending on my mood, if I have PMT then I certainly will. It's like someone sent a crappy message about my appearance and I did get upset. Think everyone does now and again we're not made of Teflon.
I've learned to minimise contact with most during my hormonal changes - it's not worth the sad it causes. Best to talk to icecream and chocolate. "
Totally with you there Meli, I'm too unpredictable I'll either cry or rage. Most people in work know when to leave me alone else suffer the consequences |
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Sounds like a lucky escape if she flounces over you fancying another woman when she has a husband .
I was gutted because it was an innocent comment, plus we were getting on well.
Que sera sera..as they say in Paris
"
Onwards and upwards  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Sounds like a lucky escape if she flounces over you fancying another woman when she has a husband .
I was gutted because it was an innocent comment, plus we were getting on well.
Que sera sera..as they say in Paris
Onwards and upwards "
Course..glass is always half full here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?
If I was to take to heart what a certain gobshite says about me here than I'd log out and not come back. It actually says more about their petty behaviour than mine. Their opinion means nothing to me and very little to other fab users as I've not been the only one they talk about and have targeted.
"
.. Well I for one can vouch that you are one of the nicest here and certainly don't deserve any hate ..  |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I think it often depends on my frame of mind. At times we are all a little more fragile and things get to us more.
I think that is when you need to learn your owm tolerances and if its starting to get to you - walk away for a bit. I believe thats true for 'real' life as well as 'fab' life.
I quite often need a break from ceertain aspects of life - even myself
Totally get this. I had to cut someone out of my life for good who I thought was a very good friend. I saw how selfish and manipulative she actually was. It hurt me to do it but it was for the best for me."
I've had to do similar and it's really hard when you have known them for years. But you have to look after yourself  |
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Sounds like a lucky escape if she flounces over you fancying another woman when she has a husband .
I was gutted because it was an innocent comment, plus we were getting on well.
Que sera sera..as they say in Paris
Onwards and upwards
Course..glass is always half full here "
Good to hear |
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I don't take anything said on here to heart. Why would you? The majority play no part in my day to day life. There are many who make wild misguided assumptions on here about peoples life's that could get to me if I let it. |
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"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?
If I was to take to heart what a certain gobshite says about me here than I'd log out and not come back. It actually says more about their petty behaviour than mine. Their opinion means nothing to me and very little to other fab users as I've not been the only one they talk about and have targeted.
.. Well I for one can vouch that you are one of the nicest here and certainly don't deserve any hate .. "
As I can easily vouch for you too xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?
If I was to take to heart what a certain gobshite says about me here than I'd log out and not come back. It actually says more about their petty behaviour than mine. Their opinion means nothing to me and very little to other fab users as I've not been the only one they talk about and have targeted.
.. Well I for one can vouch that you are one of the nicest here and certainly don't deserve any hate ..
As I can easily vouch for you too xx"
... Awwww... Im getting that warm fuzzy feeling again inquisitive!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't control other people... But you can control your reaction and feelings
You need to be comfortable in your own skin and know yourself well.. Which means lots of honest reflection in the mirror.. Once you own your faults and weaknesses they can't be used against you as amunition
If a friend thst i like/respect said something, i would try to look rationally, reflect and learn.. But equally i have no qualms saying to myself (and them) actually you are wrong
... I currently have someone saying complete bollox and lies about me to someone i care very much about.. I'm fortunate that my friend knows me very well and recognises it for the insecure, jealous drama that it is, so in this situation I've let it wash over me and down the drain
 |
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"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?
If I was to take to heart what a certain gobshite says about me here than I'd log out and not come back. It actually says more about their petty behaviour than mine. Their opinion means nothing to me and very little to other fab users as I've not been the only one they talk about and have targeted.
.. Well I for one can vouch that you are one of the nicest here and certainly don't deserve any hate ..
As I can easily vouch for you too xx... Awwww... Im getting that warm fuzzy feeling again inquisitive!! "
  |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"You can't control other people... But you can control your reaction and feelings
You need to be comfortable in your own skin and know yourself well.. Which means lots of honest reflection in the mirror.. Once you own your faults and weaknesses they can't be used against you as amunition
If a friend thst i like/respect said something, i would try to look rationally, reflect and learn.. But equally i have no qualms saying to myself (and them) actually you are wrong
... I currently have someone saying complete bollox and lies about me to someone i care very much about.. I'm fortunate that my friend knows me very well and recognises it for the insecure, jealous drama that it is, so in this situation I've let it wash over me and down the drain
"
Sorry to read this. Jealous people really can be so vicious and troublesome. Good on you for not taking it to heart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes I do, depending on my emotional state, but generally I don’t.
There are times when I’ve overreacted a bit, but haven’t most of us at times
Having said that, i did flounce off with my last profile, but I came back with a very different mindset |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who cares less what random strangers say online, unless it affects you in the real world ?
And those who use Fab to create drama and division, especially in private, deserve pity more than anything - imagine having so little going on in your real life that you'd resort to such behaviour.
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol"
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
I don’t tend to let what most people say bother me but occasionally things do. I think I get most annoyed when something I’ve said or done has been misinterpreted and used against me. But it really depends on who’s involved. |
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"I don’t tend to let what most people say bother me but occasionally things do. I think I get most annoyed when something I’ve said or done has been misinterpreted and used against me. But it really depends on who’s involved. "
You know Vine....... I welcome being disagreed with and considering others point of view but when people who can't even damn well read or if they can do the words they can't comprehend the text and then they attribute something to me that I have not said .......... well ........ well I learned to ignore the simple folk ..... it's kinder to all, including me. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"I don’t tend to let what most people say bother me but occasionally things do. I think I get most annoyed when something I’ve said or done has been misinterpreted and used against me. But it really depends on who’s involved.
You know Vine....... I welcome being disagreed with and considering others point of view but when people who can't even damn well read or if they can do the words they can't comprehend the text and then they attribute something to me that I have not said .......... well ........ well I learned to ignore the simple folk ..... it's kinder to all, including me. "
With age comes wisdom Granny! Well in your case anyway. Some people live and learn others just live. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only if I was in a vulnerable place and they stumbled upon it or took advantage of it. Ive acquired thick skin over the last year.
Listen to those who matters. Not to the empty noise. |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Yeah I can way too easily. Anxiety is a bitch for making me think somethings more hurtful than it is. I may be pan faced, but I’m soft as anything. "
You most certainly aren't pan faced. You're beautiful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous."
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future "
Are you sure it was actually jealousy? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Very much mood and circumstance dependent for me - especially being somewhat of an overthinker at times, although am getting better at managing that.
A bit like Granny said I can struggle when my words are either misunderstood or twisted to mean something that wasn't actually what I was saying but that tends to be a knot of annoyance more than anything - some of it directed at myself as I question whether I could/should have worded something better despite knowing that my core values/beliefs are actually sound. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future
Are you sure it was actually jealousy? "
Indiscreet LPP makes me hurl. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future
Are you sure it was actually jealousy? "
Not sure what it was but she did message me to say that I was unfriended because of what I had said about the other woman.
Wasn’t meant to be..hey ho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future
Are you sure it was actually jealousy?
Indiscreet LPP makes me hurl."
What’s LPP..?? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
Where would you like me? |
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future
Are you sure it was actually jealousy?
Indiscreet LPP makes me hurl.
What’s LPP..??"
LampPostPissing. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future
Are you sure it was actually jealousy? "
No, she was probably feeling inadequate because he mentioned another woman, who was also hot.
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future
Are you sure it was actually jealousy?
Indiscreet LPP makes me hurl.
What’s LPP..??"
They think you mentioned the other woman to lamp post piss on her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was chatting to a lovely couple not so long ago, the wife was seriously hot, I made a comment about another stunning woman on here and that was it, the old Spanish Archer..El Bow..lol
Lesson learned- Swingers can be very jealous.
Lesson definitely learned ~ will think before I speak in the future
Are you sure it was actually jealousy?
Indiscreet LPP makes me hurl.
What’s LPP..??
LampPostPissing."
Ah right..every day is a school day..lol |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Yes. Rightly or wrongly I do.
There are worse things in life
True. People don't always have the same heart as I do but i always try to see the good in them anyway xx"
It’s one of the reasons why you’re such a wonderful person. Even when they don’t deserve your faith in them |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Yes. Rightly or wrongly I do.
There are worse things in life
True. People don't always have the same heart as I do but i always try to see the good in them anyway xx"
And that makes you a very kind person. Don't change x |
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"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?"
Yes occasionally, there are days when I'm a little vulnerable and take things to heart.
Although I mostly think of myself as strong
minded and resilient, sometimes my safeguards let me down . |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Following on from a thread I saw earlier, do you take things to heart that people say and do?
I imagine most of us do from those closest to us but what about other people like work colleagues, people on here, people who don't know you that well?
Yes occasionally, there are days when I'm a little vulnerable and take things to heart.
Although I mostly think of myself as strong
minded and resilient, sometimes my safeguards let me down . "
I think we all have moment's when we aren't quite as strong as other times, especially for me when hormones are raging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hubby got told on here he's to ugly for fab he took that to heart and rarely comes on now hit him quite hard to be honest some really hurtful cunts on here |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Hubby got told on here he's to ugly for fab he took that to heart and rarely comes on now hit him quite hard to be honest some really hurtful cunts on here "
I am genuinely sorry to read this, your husband is rather easy on the eye. There really are some horrendously vicious people on here. That's the 3rd thing I have heard today about what goes on in this site with some people. It sickens me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hubby got told on here he's to ugly for fab he took that to heart and rarely comes on now hit him quite hard to be honest some really hurtful cunts on here
I am genuinely sorry to read this, your husband is rather easy on the eye. There really are some horrendously vicious people on here. That's the 3rd thing I have heard today about what goes on in this site with some people. It sickens me. "
Agree northern.
Your oh isnt ugly at all.
Some people must be awful unhappy and incontinent in their own lives to say things like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Noy anymore. Skin gas grown thick and i dont let anything get me down now. Lost a lot of friends over the years death wise. Life is to short to get upset over minor crap. John |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Hubby got told on here he's to ugly for fab he took that to heart and rarely comes on now hit him quite hard to be honest some really hurtful cunts on here
I am genuinely sorry to read this, your husband is rather easy on the eye. There really are some horrendously vicious people on here. That's the 3rd thing I have heard today about what goes on in this site with some people. It sickens me.
Agree northern.
Your oh isnt ugly at all.
Some people must be awful unhappy and incontinent in their own lives to say things like that "
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"You can't control other people... But you can control your reaction and feelings
You need to be comfortable in your own skin and know yourself well.. Which means lots of honest reflection in the mirror.. Once you own your faults and weaknesses they can't be used against you as amunition
If a friend thst i like/respect said something, i would try to look rationally, reflect and learn.. But equally i have no qualms saying to myself (and them) actually you are wrong
"
This ^
On here though no I don’t react to anything anyone says about me, they don’t know me so irrelevant, as is anything they like to say behind my back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is human to get angry.
The first reaction is often the correct one.
We snap when under pressure and do go over the top on the smallest issue.
Others unbalance the mind then play on that to make matters worse.
It's difficult to appear not bothered by someone, worse if there is dislike between you.
Best policy is to say nothing and let them keep talking and digging a hole for themselves.
Walk away mid-sentence leave them standing. |
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"We’re both Pisceans do I need to say more haha! Miss PC xx
You mean you’re both gullible? "
Haha my hands are up, I’m totally gullible, whereas Mr Pc isn’t! I like to see it as being a positive thinker, and seeing the good in everyone! Yep proven wrong on a daily basis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hubby got told on here he's to ugly for fab he took that to heart and rarely comes on now hit him quite hard to be honest some really hurtful cunts on here "
That is awful but I have heard the same from others, it's petit and sad.
Depends on my state of mind, and who it's said by, majority of the time I shrug it off |
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By *orthern Stars OP Couple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"It is human to get angry.
The first reaction is often the correct one.
We snap when under pressure and do go over the top on the smallest issue.
Others unbalance the mind then play on that to make matters worse.
It's difficult to appear not bothered by someone, worse if there is dislike between you.
Best policy is to say nothing and let them keep talking and digging a hole for themselves.
Walk away mid-sentence leave them standing."
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