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I ain't been here...
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
... I've been somewhere else.
I've been in a funk and AWOL for at least 5 days or something.
Can you guess where I have been? (There is no wrong or right answer unless 'sat in my pants gorging on cheese' is your response).
So where have I been?
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap. |
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap."
So close... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close... "
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights. |
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"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close...
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights."
It must be some gaff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close...
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights.
It must be some gaff "
Two penny a lick!
|
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close...
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights.
It must be some gaff "
And I have lock jaw. Jesus man, how often do we have to remind you that porn does not reflect real life!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close...
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights.
It must be some gaff
And I have lock jaw. Jesus man, how often do we have to remind you that porn does not reflect real life!?"
Don’t.
I only just got over the Easter bunny not coming  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai / Nottingham |
"You have been on a clinical trial
And I have the all clear! Nothing to see here. "
The worse bit about a trial is they don't allow you to exercise or post on social media / forums , other than that it’s aright  |
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close...
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights.
It must be some gaff
And I have lock jaw. Jesus man, how often do we have to remind you that porn does not reflect real life!?
Don’t.
I only just got over the Easter bunny not coming "
All over your face? You're right. That's wrong. |
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"You have been on a clinical trial
And I have the all clear! Nothing to see here.
The worse bit about a trial is they don't allow you to exercise or post on social media / forums , other than that it’s aright "
I was able to procure cheese. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close...
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights.
It must be some gaff
And I have lock jaw. Jesus man, how often do we have to remind you that porn does not reflect real life!?
Don’t.
I only just got over the Easter bunny not coming
All over your face? You're right. That's wrong. "
This is my honest first thought when I read that...
Do you have one of those butt plug bunny tails you could pop in?
|
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"It's okay folks, panic over, I've just let her out of ma cellar 
And I put the lotion in the basket and everything. "
Thank god for small mercies, I wondered why it was getting a bit damp down there  |
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"You have been working at a top secret scientific
Establishment and spent 5 days in solitary confinement after ingesting a squirt serum which has been proven to produce uncontrollable fountains of lady jizz when applied to a suitably sexually charged woman’s love hole internally.
You ingested it by mistake and your nose began running like a tap.
So close...
Your landlady called in for her rent money but you were a little short so she said you could pay her in kind... you’ve been licking her tuppence for five days and nights.
It must be some gaff
And I have lock jaw. Jesus man, how often do we have to remind you that porn does not reflect real life!?
Don’t.
I only just got over the Easter bunny not coming
All over your face? You're right. That's wrong.
This is my honest first thought when I read that...
Do you have one of those butt plug bunny tails you could pop in?
"
A what now? |
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"It's okay folks, panic over, I've just let her out of ma cellar
And I put the lotion in the basket and everything.
Thank god for small mercies, I wondered why it was getting a bit damp down there "
Suggest you open a window and stop manufacturing your own condensation. Please!
Please god help me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... I've been somewhere else.
I've been in a funk and AWOL for at least 5 days or something.
Can you guess where I have been? (There is no wrong or right answer unless 'sat in my pants gorging on cheese' is your response).
So where have I been?
"
In my dreams   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"... I've been somewhere else.
I've been in a funk and AWOL for at least 5 days or something.
Can you guess where I have been? (There is no wrong or right answer unless 'sat in my pants gorging on cheese' is your response).
So where have I been?
"
In my head?
|
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"It's okay folks, panic over, I've just let her out of ma cellar
And I put the lotion in the basket and everything.
Thank god for small mercies, I wondered why it was getting a bit damp down there
Suggest you open a window and stop manufacturing your own condensation. Please!
Please god help me! "
You know you always work me up into a steam  |
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|
By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"... I've been somewhere else.
I've been in a funk and AWOL for at least 5 days or something.
Can you guess where I have been? (There is no wrong or right answer unless 'sat in my pants gorging on cheese' is your response).
So where have I been?
In my dreams "
I've been described as nightmare before now. |
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"... I've been somewhere else.
I've been in a funk and AWOL for at least 5 days or something.
Can you guess where I have been? (There is no wrong or right answer unless 'sat in my pants gorging on cheese' is your response).
So where have I been?
In my head?
"
|
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By *educed OP Woman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"You've been in Xtasia. You broke in and had your own party. You did the Bar and the DJ bits and everything. You danced naked and threw your knickers in the air like you didn't care "
Shh! Let that be our little secret. |
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