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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been talking to quite a few people lately, most were great and the convos flowed.
Now, I'm never pushy. Nobody owes me a reply and if they were interested I'm sure they'd drop a message back.
One couple in particular I've chatted to and it was amazing, I loved their pics and just couldn't wait to meet.
But after some time the messages were all to persistent. It was rapid fire. If I didn't reply right away they would get annoyed and be like "Not interested anymore??? Thought so" and what not. I wasn't taking hours or days to reply, it was just a moment here and there while I worked.
This was an immediate red flag, and although they were gorgeous it really did just put me off.
Did any of you have this kind of experience? Getting your hopes up and expecting different? And would you meet if the convo was terrible but they were amazingly attractive lol?
By the way they're not on fab anymore for those I believe may ask 
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I've found conversation can go different ways in here. I've never had the issue you are talking about but have had great chats with the female half of couples but as soon as the male half gets involved in the chat it becomes demanding and full of instruction as to what I will and won't be doing.
I'm no one's play thing and if they'd taken the time to read my profile they'd know I've no interest in one way conversation so that's my cue to move on.
I've also had couples wink and fab to get my attention and when I respond they are incapable of more than one word messages.
If they can't be arsed to make an effort to chat or get to know me then I won't be either. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've found conversation can go different ways in here. I've never had the issue you are talking about but have had great chats with the female half of couples but as soon as the male half gets involved in the chat it becomes demanding and full of instruction as to what I will and won't be doing.
I'm no one's play thing and if they'd taken the time to read my profile they'd know I've no interest in one way conversation so that's my cue to move on.
I've also had couples wink and fab to get my attention and when I respond they are incapable of more than one word messages.
If they can't be arsed to make an effort to chat or get to know me then I won't be either. "
That seems to be common. I feel lads are so much more aggressive in their conversation. Whereas the female half seems to know what the want.
I've also had other convos where it seemed like the female wasn't really into it and was being pressured by their partner, and then I stopped replying cause I didn't want to be part of that. If I'm meeting, I want everyone to be on the same page and comfortable. |
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"I've found conversation can go different ways in here. I've never had the issue you are talking about but have had great chats with the female half of couples but as soon as the male half gets involved in the chat it becomes demanding and full of instruction as to what I will and won't be doing.
I'm no one's play thing and if they'd taken the time to read my profile they'd know I've no interest in one way conversation so that's my cue to move on.
I've also had couples wink and fab to get my attention and when I respond they are incapable of more than one word messages.
If they can't be arsed to make an effort to chat or get to know me then I won't be either.
That seems to be common. I feel lads are so much more aggressive in their conversation. Whereas the female half seems to know what the want.
I've also had other convos where it seemed like the female wasn't really into it and was being pressured by their partner, and then I stopped replying cause I didn't want to be part of that. If I'm meeting, I want everyone to be on the same page and comfortable. "
I've definitely had those conversations too and once asked a simple question like how long they had been together and got serious abuse from the guy for asking "personal" questions.
I've also had a couple ask to meet socially and even I agreed they said it would be a month before they could meet. That suited me fine as we could get to know each other in that time. Then hubby messaged me privately with a list of dos and don'ts for the play meet directly after the social. When I pointed out that we hadn't even agreed on a date for the social and there would be no play meet on that date he accused me of leading them on and being a time waster.
I asked if he had read my profile and his reply was " Why would we do that? You're a single guy and therefore have no say in what happens. You do as the couple tell you".
I know that is not the case and the vast majority of couples are not like that at all but it shows that attitude exists. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It doesn't matter to me how attractive I find someone if we can't chat and just get on well then nothing more will ever happen anyhow. The saying beauty is only skin deep is true.
Anyone making demands be it a couple or a single will be a sure fire way for conversation to stop from my side no matter how good looking they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've found conversation can go different ways in here. I've never had the issue you are talking about but have had great chats with the female half of couples but as soon as the male half gets involved in the chat it becomes demanding and full of instruction as to what I will and won't be doing.
I'm no one's play thing and if they'd taken the time to read my profile they'd know I've no interest in one way conversation so that's my cue to move on.
I've also had couples wink and fab to get my attention and when I respond they are incapable of more than one word messages.
If they can't be arsed to make an effort to chat or get to know me then I won't be either.
That seems to be common. I feel lads are so much more aggressive in their conversation. Whereas the female half seems to know what the want.
I've also had other convos where it seemed like the female wasn't really into it and was being pressured by their partner, and then I stopped replying cause I didn't want to be part of that. If I'm meeting, I want everyone to be on the same page and comfortable.
I've definitely had those conversations too and once asked a simple question like how long they had been together and got serious abuse from the guy for asking "personal" questions.
I've also had a couple ask to meet socially and even I agreed they said it would be a month before they could meet. That suited me fine as we could get to know each other in that time. Then hubby messaged me privately with a list of dos and don'ts for the play meet directly after the social. When I pointed out that we hadn't even agreed on a date for the social and there would be no play meet on that date he accused me of leading them on and being a time waster.
I asked if he had read my profile and his reply was " Why would we do that? You're a single guy and therefore have no say in what happens. You do as the couple tell you".
I know that is not the case and the vast majority of couples are not like that at all but it shows that attitude exists."
Lots of insecure men in couples whose egos are threatened by a single male, Lee has no problem with letting me deal with prospective male meets, he knows I can out the unsuitable, I'm the one who'll be having sex with them!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've found conversation can go different ways in here. I've never had the issue you are talking about but have had great chats with the female half of couples but as soon as the male half gets involved in the chat it becomes demanding and full of instruction as to what I will and won't be doing.
I'm no one's play thing and if they'd taken the time to read my profile they'd know I've no interest in one way conversation so that's my cue to move on.
I've also had couples wink and fab to get my attention and when I respond they are incapable of more than one word messages.
If they can't be arsed to make an effort to chat or get to know me then I won't be either. "
This... in a nutshell |
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I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't find physically attractive. I find all sorts of men attractive though, I don't seek out particular characteristics. There just has to be... Something
But no matter how attractive, if a guy is rude or obnoxious I won't be replying never mind considering a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Christ on a bike!! I couldnt be dealing with that sort of carrying on. I'll happily meet for the social so everyone can get a better idea of one another and it'd everyone gets on them let's go from there... but a list of demands from an aggressive partner. Oh no thanks. I've enough to be dealing with than to have that going on. It's supposed to be fun for everyone and enjoyable for everyone otherwise what's the point in ruining your day giving out about it afterwards and saying i should have done this or i should have said that and beating yourself up about it.
No drama please  |
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"Christ on a bike!! I couldnt be dealing with that sort of carrying on. I'll happily meet for the social so everyone can get a better idea of one another and it'd everyone gets on them let's go from there... but a list of demands from an aggressive partner. Oh no thanks. I've enough to be dealing with than to have that going on. It's supposed to be fun for everyone and enjoyable for everyone otherwise what's the point in ruining your day giving out about it afterwards and saying i should have done this or i should have said that and beating yourself up about it.
No drama please "
Cannot understand why the male of a couple would organise the single guy for an MFM but it seems to happen a lot here. I prefer to do the chatting and hubby is happy for me to make the decision. I tend to be a good judge of character anyway and have chosen well so far  |
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"It doesn't matter to me how attractive I find someone if we can't chat and just get on well then nothing more will ever happen anyhow. The saying beauty is only skin deep is true.
Anyone making demands be it a couple or a single will be a sure fire way for conversation to stop from my side no matter how good looking they are. "
Absolutely agree ,if theres no chat and no banter,,its a no no from me
little bit of flirting is good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Christ on a bike!! I couldnt be dealing with that sort of carrying on. I'll happily meet for the social so everyone can get a better idea of one another and it'd everyone gets on them let's go from there... but a list of demands from an aggressive partner. Oh no thanks. I've enough to be dealing with than to have that going on. It's supposed to be fun for everyone and enjoyable for everyone otherwise what's the point in ruining your day giving out about it afterwards and saying i should have done this or i should have said that and beating yourself up about it.
No drama please
Cannot understand why the male of a couple would organise the single guy for an MFM but it seems to happen a lot here. I prefer to do the chatting and hubby is happy for me to make the decision. I tend to be a good judge of character anyway and have chosen well so far "
You are a solid sensible girl well able I am sure to find a quality match and fair play to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There has to be some attraction but then again if he looks like a male model it’s just going to make me aware of all my imperfections and I definitely wouldn’t meet due to my own insecurities.
If they are incapable of nice messages I won’t be replying or meeting either
And as for the ??? Messages Because I have not replied quick enough for their liking that will result in an instant fuck off message and block  |
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